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Misfits insta: Misfits (@transfitnessuk) • Instagram photos and videos

Not a phase: Not A Phase – Uplifting the lives of trans+ adults across the UK

Trans Can Sport

Trans Can Sport

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What we covered:

1. Our social support network - we identified who is in our networks, how affirming they are, online/offline etc.

2. Made a plan for how we can strengthen a part of the social support network.

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Meet in-person for our last session together on Tuesday 17th March.

Time: from 10:15am to 12.

Location: Ground floor meeting room, St Peter's Health Centre, 30-36 Oxford St, Brighton BN1 4LA.

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Homework before session 7 (on 10th March)

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Homework before session 7 (on 10th March)

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Continue to add to your hope box.

If you are feeling stressed or a

bit down, take a few minutes to go through your hope box to remind yourself of some of your accomplishments and what helps you feel important and cared for.

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What we covered:

1. Defining 'goals' ad what SMART goals means (specific, meaningful/measurable, adaptive, realistic, timely)

2. Set some goals of different lengths (appendix P)

3. Considered why a goal is important to us, what obstacles there are and ideas for how to overcome them, weighing up pros and cons of achieving or not the goal.

4. Talked through our hope boxes and added to them. Shared poems, song lyrics, memories.

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What we covered:

1. Discussion around supportive and affirming activities, and barriers to these (see document)

2. 3 types of compassion:

Mindful balanced approach

Self-kindness

Common humanity

3. Goal setting of one affirming activity (appendix O)

4. Heads up about hope box for session 6

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We talked about the 'well-trodden' path of thoughts within the brain, how we may more easily spiral into negative thoughts as that's what the brain is used to doing. It can take conscious effort to build new pathways.

Ways to shift our brain away from negative habits:

making a list of positive thoughts about yourself

congratulating yourself mentally when you do something you feel good about

projecting into the future - imagining yourself in a different situation to show your brain change is possible

planting positives - creative little positive messages or moments to feel good about yourself

There's power in what we do rather than what we think we are.

We brainstormed some examples of ABCD thinking...

A - activating event

B - belief/thought it leads to

C - consequence of the thought

D - dispute or debate the thought

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Homework before session 6 (on 3rd March)

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Homework before session 6 (on 3rd March)

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Gather items for a hope box!

A hope box (or bag) can contain important objects to you, quotes, photos, cards, sensory objects like fidgets, scraps collected from out and about, anything really that brings you joy or feels affirming.

Goal Setting (Appendix O)

Use the worksheet to write a contract with yourself of a goal and a reward for doing it.

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Homework before session 5 (on 24th Feb!)

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Homework before session 5 (on 24th Feb!)

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Daily self-talk practice (Appendix J)

Fill in the work sheet and return to it regularly to practice your daily self-talk, ground yourself, and change thoughts from unhelpful to helpful ones.

ABCD method (Appendix L)

Just like we did in the session, use this worksheet to note down some activating events that happen during your weeks and what thoughts this lead to. Consider offering yourself different perspectives on these thoughts and beliefs.

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We talked through an example of how thoughts, feelings and behaviours interact within the CBT triangle for the situation of a friend walking by and ignoring us on the street. You can record some of your own thoughts, feelings and behaviours in Appendix G.

Thinking traps (Appendix E) can arise in many different ways so we looked at how these different automatic thoughts turn up for us, and questioned whether these thoughts are helpful. We briefly talked about negative vs positive thoughts, which you can read more about in the document attached and practice in Appendix F.

Don't think of a pink elephant... did you think of one? We shared some strategies for how to talk to ourselves in ways that help our negative thoughts eg. treating yourself like a friend, letting thoughts pass through without judgement.

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Affirm CBT is a type of cognitive behavioural therapy developed for LGBTQIA+ communities to help support with the impacts of minority stress. It involves an affirming approach towards sexual and gender diversity. Experiencing minority stress from being in a stigmatised group can lead to internalised negative thoughts and result in feelings such as low mood and anxiety. Affirm CBT can help you to understand your thoughts and experiences, develop skills and strategies to cope with negative thoughts and interact in difficult environments, and practice self compassion in a group setting.

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Click the file to download the workbook to your device.

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Dates:

Tuesday 13 January, welcome session

Tuesday 20 January, session 1

Tuesday 27 January, session 2

Tuesday 3 February, session 3

Tuesday 10 February, session 4

No session on Tuesday 17 February due to half-term

Tuesday 24 February, session 5

Tuesday 3 March, session 6

Tuesday 10 March, session 7

Tuesday 17 March, session 8

Times: All sessions are 10.30am - 12noon. There will be a short break half way through each session.

Location: The group will take place online via teams, using the same link for each session. Please test out in advance that you are able to connect to the Teams meeting.

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During Affirm CBT sessions, we will...

explore how minority stress affects our wellbeing

develop an understanding of thoughts, feelings and behaviours through CBT techniques

learn and practice strategies for negative thoughts

identify experiences and activities that feel affirming to our identities

practice self compassion and future planning

meet a supportive peer group

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Appendix F - Identifying thoughts

Use the worksheet to help you learn to identify different kinds of thoughts that come up for you during your week. You can refer to the session 3 additional material in the recap for examples to help you.

Appendix G - Automatic thought record

Use the table to note down situations where automatic thoughts have come up for you. Try to identify whether this was negative or positive, how it made you feel, and the consequences (ie. behaviours) it led to. Think back to the CBT triangle.

Redirecting thoughts

Whilst bringing awareness to your negative thoughts, can you try to redirect any of these? What strategies could you use to do this? (eg. observing the thought without getting swept into it, replacing it with a positive one)

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You can do this exercise anywhere. Become aware of your surroundings and the present moment through your five senses. Identify...

5 things you can see

4 things you can hear

3 things you can feel

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

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Take a big inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth.

Adjust the length of time your hold each breath depending on what feels good for you. Repeat as many times as you need.

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For before session 2...

Try to pay attention to what stress comes up in your next week. What were the events that triggered the stress? What did this make you feel? How did this make you want to respond?

You could note this down on a bit of paper or your phone.

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What would you or a friend or pet say is your best quality?

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We discussed minority stress in more detail, acknowledging that we can be effected by different levels of social discrimination (see Appendix B). We looked at intersectionality and how have different identities can contribute to our levels of minority stress.

In groups we brainstormed how minority stress looks/feels/smells/tastes like.

We wrote down some of our earliest memories and messages around being TNBI+ (using Appendix D), and discussed as a group how some of these messages impact us.

We wrote down a negative thought, then threw it away, considering how it felt to get rid of that negative thought.

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As you take a slow, deep inhale, think of something that you are grateful in your life.

As you take a slow deep exhale, think of something stressful you want to let go of.

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Using your breath to ground you, gradually bring your awareness to sounds far away and then closer to you.

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We talked about the CBT triangle with how thoughts, feelings, and behaviours all interact with each other. We looked at the situation of being misgendered at a shop, considering the three components of the triangle to consider what might come up for us during this experience.

We discussed what stress is, which can be defined as 'a state of physical, mental and/or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.' We talked about the kinds of thoughts and feelings we have from stress, and how this might effect the ways we act with others.

We identified some of the current key stressors in our lives, and empathetically reflected on these experiences.

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The Invitation is a prose poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Many years after the poem was written and had become famous, the author wrote a book based on the poem, The Invitation (1999), by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Oriah is a spiritual counselor and story teller, among other things. This poem offers an invitation to every single one of us to "show up" in the universe. She reminds us that we do not serve the universe by being small. Rather, we serve the universe by making the most out of our lives.

I love this more than words. I think of these words often, especially in times that I feel as though I haven't done much through the years, and I'm sweetly reminded that I HAVE done so much!...

Read complete story
Share your story! (9)
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer more Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesnt interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn't interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

more Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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The Invitation is a prose poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Many years after the poem was written and had become famous, the author wrote a book based on the poem, The Invitation (1999), by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Oriah is a spiritual counselor and story teller, among other things.

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Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worth of rescue.

Postlethwaite is the pastor of The Recovery Church in St Paul, Minnesota. She has written a book called Addiction and Recovery: A Spiritual Pilgrimage. In the book she reflects on her pilgrimage of recovery through valleys of despair and vistas of resurrection. This poem has been shared many times and has inspired Allie Weigh to compose a choral piece around it which you can listen to here.

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by Martha Postlethwaite Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose. Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently, until the song that is your life falls into your own cupped hands and you recognize and greet it.

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Hope is the thing with feathers - Emily Dickinson

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Hope is the thing with feathers - Emily Dickinson

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Notes:

Note to POL students: The inclusion or omission of the numeral in the title of the poem should not affect the accuracy score. It is optional during recitation.

Originally titled "'Hope' is the thing with feathers - (314)"

Emily Dickinson, "'Hope' is the Thing with Feathers" from The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson, edited by Thomas H. Johnson, ed., Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University press, Copyright © 1951, 1955, 1979, 1983 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Reprinted by permissions of the publishers and Trustees of Amherst College.

Source: The Poems of Emily Dickinson Edited by R. W. Franklin (Harvard University Press, 1999)

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"Hope" is the thing with feathers by Emily... | Poetry Foundation

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''There is so much peace to be found in people's faces''