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There are two main parts to self-discrepancy theory that are vital to understanding it: ideal self and ought self. Ideal self, or "the characteristics you want to possess based on your desires," is the person you dream of one day being. On the other hand, ought self is "the person others wish and expect you to be," a person that can sometimes be highly unattainable (McCornack, 2013, pg. 42). The difference in the ideal and ought self can often lead to discrepancies in a person's perception of self, leading to bad self-esteem and unhappiness.

For clarification of this theory, let's look at Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch manager Michael Scott. Michael has a discrepancy with his ideal and ought selves and is constantly trying to impress others. On "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" Michael wants to show his coworkers and their children that he is living up to his potential and that his life is worthwhile. He shows a recording of himself on a television show titled Fundle Bundle (basically Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood) and he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. In true Michael Scott fashion even as a young child, he was very extra and wowed everyone. The children watching reacted to young Michael's answer, wondering if he grew up to be the person he wanted to become. Michael, who had obviously forgotten his answer, realized that he did not become the person he wanted to be. Michael's ideal self, the self he had since he was young, was to have lots of friends and a big family. This self did not match his ought self who was someone successful in his job and actually does tasks at work. This struggle with who he wants to be and who other people think he should be causes Michael's self-esteem to decrease for a short period of time, until he finds a new way to fix his problems, making the discrepancy go away.

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Michael's Blast From the Past - The Office US

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10:15 a.m.   Communication Accommodation Theory 

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10:15 a.m.   Communication Accommodation Theory 

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Communication accommodation theory is normally a good thing, but in the case of Michael Scott, it is actually not so great. Communication accommodation theory "holds that people are especially motivated to adapt their language when they seek social approval, when they wish to establish relationships with others, and when they view others' language usage as appropriate" (McCornack, 2013, pg. 196).  While this can help people in the long run, especially in other cultures, Michael tends to use it to his disadvantage. Communication accommodation theory should, in practice, bring people together, not make people feel uncomfortable and offended. Communication skills picked up by using this theory should be genuine, making it easier to communicate with other people.

Michael Scott, once again, is being his outrageous self and has hired a band of fire breathers to perform in a PAPER warehouse for casino night. The head of the warehouse, Darryl Philbin, confronts Michael about this situation. At one point during the meeting, Dwight Schrute, "Assistant to the Regional Manager," enters Michael's office to protect Michael from Darryl. Darryl is confused and then Michael says a seemingly incomprehensible phrase "Dinkin Flicka,"  and Darryl smirks to the camera. He goes on to explain the phrase in a "talking head." Darryl has been teaching Michael phrases so he can fit in more with African Americans, but the phrases are very ridiculous and would make Michael look silly if he used them in front of other people. This use of communication accommodation shows that Michael is unaware that Darryl is not really teaching him phrases that he should ever actually use in public. Michael is the type of person who wants to please people when he talks to them, always trying to accommodate his communication patterns to the way they talk. Sometimes other people suggest ways to change his patterns, like Darryl does, but it works against him.

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11:15 a.m.   Uncertainty Reduction Theory 

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11:15 a.m.   Uncertainty Reduction Theory 

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Uncertainty Reduction Theory helps people understand the communication patterns of others upon first meeting them. Uncertainty Reduction Theory's main task is "to reduce uncertainty about our communication partners by gathering enough information about them so their communication becomes predictable and explainable" (McCornack, 2013, pg. 83). There are three different approaches to Uncertainty Reduction Theory known as active, passive, and interactive. These different strategies are used to learn more about people before you know them so you can communicate in an easier way. People who use active strategies ask other people questions about the person they are interested in. Passive strategy users use cyber-stalking or actual stalking methods to find out more about the person. Finally, a person using interactive strategy will simply walk up to a person and ask them questions to which they would like to know the answers.

Andy, who has recently moved to Scranton, implements the active strategy of the Uncertainty Reduction Theory when he asks Jim about Pam. Jim, still harboring a crush for Pam despite being in a relationship and also wanting to play a prank on Andy, gives him false information. Andy uses this information, thinking that he can now be certain that he knows more about Pam and her likes. Nothing really happens between the two of them but Pam and Jim share a private joke. Andy, in the future, continues to actively ask people in the office to reduce his uncertainty about various things, never realizing that Jim lead his astray.

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Let's review what we have learned so far.
People sometimes do not meet expectations and oftentimes have different perceptions of themselves than what other people have of them.
Some people try to accommodate their communication patterns to fit the patterns of other cultures, sometimes being beneficial and sometimes not.
We can reduce uncertainty in first time conversations by trying to figure out their conversation patterns by either cyber-stalking them, talking to others, or asking them directly.
If you have any questions, please ask now!

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1:00 p.m.   Implicit Personality Theory 

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1:00 p.m.   Implicit Personality Theory 

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Implicit personality theory can be used to make impressions about someone you are meeting for the very first time. Implicit personality theory is used "to perceive just a little about an individual's personality and then presume a great deal more," helping us decide whether we will get along with the person or not (McCornack, 2013, pg. 92). You need to be careful with implicit personality theory, because people have biases and if you go into a situation already not liking a certain type of person, as is the case for Michael Scott, you may end up missing out on a chance of a lifetime.

Michael almost misses a chance of a lifetime because of his bias toward people working in Human Resources. Toby, the worst person in the world, is packing his bags and moving to Costa Rica! Michael Scott could not be happier, but he knows there will be a replacement, probably just as bad as Toby. When Toby introduces Michael to his replacement, Holly Flax, Michael uses implicit personality theory and automatically hates her because she works in HR. But as their first interaction goes on, Michael realizes that she is actually pretty cool and he thinks that she is the exception to the "HR people are the worst" rule. Michael's bias toward HR almost led to another Toby/Michael hatred but Michael, upon meeting Holly, realized that she was not a horrible person. Michael assumed that since she worked in HR she would be the exact same as Toby; he was not expecting her to be so much like himself.

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Many employees of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company have a false sense of superiority. Dwight thinks he is the "Assistant Regional Manager," always leaving out the "TO." Probably the most famous for thinking they have too much power, though, is Gabe Lewis. Gabe is a culprit of the Dyadic Power Theory, which states that "people with only moderate power are more likely to use controlling communication" (McCornack, 2013, pg. 249-50). Power is a complicated principle, oftentimes being abused. The Dyadic Power Theory illustrates that anyone with even the slightest bit of power can take advantage of their position and try to seem more important than they actually are.

Gabe Lewis is someone who falls prey to the Dyadic Power Theory because he wants to show the employees of Dunder Mifflin that he is not just the IT guy. Awkwardness epitomized, Gabe tries to display the power he thinks he has. When Kevin comes to Gabe with a complaint of a Cookie Monster video that is making him self-conscious, Gabe confronts the employees. Gabe bans the video and all talk about it, but when Pam makes a comment about it Gabe suspends her, and two others, without pay. Even though it is later learned that Gabe does not have the power to suspend or reprimand the employees, his actions show that he was trying to use the power he thought he had to make them all take him seriously. Caio.

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3:00 p.m.   Relational Dialectics Theory 

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3:00 p.m.   Relational Dialectics Theory 

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Relational dialectics occur in every relationship we have, some more than others. So what are relational dialectics, you ask? Relational dialectics "are competing impulses, or tensions, between ourselves and our feelings toward others" (McCornack, 2013, pg. 287). There are three dialectics, all of which will be discussed in more detail.

First, OPENNESS vs. PROTECTION. This dialectic occurs when you want to share your thoughts and feelings with someone but may hold back because of past experiences. You then protect yourself because you are afraid of getting hurt or opening up too much and making mistakes.

In the case of Pam, she was not afraid to open up. She gained courage during an office trip to the beach and began to pour her feelings she kept bottled up for a while to all of her co-workers. She tells Jim she cancelled her wedding for him and tells him that she misses spending time with him. Pam, a normally more reserved and protective person, opened up and felt very good about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-stTfHfmyo

The second dialectic is AUTONOMY vs. CONNECTION. This dialectic occurs when you want to be your own person and have a life of your own but you also crave connection with another person. This can occur in friendships, romantic relationships, and even family relationships because everyone wants alone time but also need to have interaction with other people to thrive.

We can see this dialectic with Jim and Pam during their marital issues. Jim has recently started a business with some college friends in Philadelphia so he is not in Scranton as much. He has his Philly days and his Scranton days. When Jim cannot make it to CeCe's first dance recital and asks Pam to record it, she promises she will. Despite Pam's insistence that she can hold a rectangle, she does not get the dance recital on video. Jim, already upset at something else, gets angry with Pam and they get into an argument. The argument escalates into more than just not being able to record the dance recital. Jim is trying to be his own person and do what he loves at his new job while still being connected to his family back in Scranton but it does not seem that way to Pam.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpxuksFSH30

Lastly, the third dialectic is NOVELTY vs. PREDICTABILITY. This dialectic happens when you want newness in your relationships while at the same time you want things to stay the same.

Take Kelly and Ryan for instance. Their relationship has always been interesting because they have never been in quite the same place. But, when they see each other again at a wedding, Kelly with a successful boyfriend and Ryan with a baby, they see each other in a new light. The newness in each person is attractive to the other and they fall into their old ways, running away together into the sunset, leaving the boyfriend with the baby.

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Disclosing information about yourself can sometimes be scary. For Jim and Pam, it took many years to fully expose their onion. Social penetration theory suggests that "revealing the self to others involves peeling back or penetrating layers," akin to an onion (McCornack, 2013, pg. 59). This metaphor for the self in regards to the relationship between Jim and Pam is complicated because there were times when their onion's layers were peeled off only to be put back on.

To look more at the onion of Jim and Pam's relationship, it is best to see it as a compilation. Pam not thinking she is enough for Jim, is having doubts about their relationship and whether Jim staying in Scranton would lead him to resent her years later. Jim, with the help of the documentary crew, shows her otherwise. Pam watches the video Jim makes for her, a highlight reel of Jim and Pam moments from the past nine years of their relationship. It cements Jim's feelings for Pam and reminds her why she loves him. Although there is not much talking in the video, you can see a transition from when the two of them were merely friends to when they were dating or married. This illustrates social penetration theory because you can see the layers of their relationship, even if they did not always want to share it with the documentary crew.

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The Office - Jim's DVD for Pam/Advice to Dwight

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It's finally time to go home! The employees are aggravated and offended and you might be as well. But despite this fact, you have learned a lot about communication and the valuable skills behind these theories. Understanding these concepts is vital to the maintenance of important relationships, no matter how complicated they may be. But, while relationships are complicated, they are equally as beautiful.

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Daniels, Greg. (2005). The office. Los Angeles, CA: Deedle-Dee Productions
McCornack, Steven. (2013). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's