# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

"He kissed those enticing lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form."

Techniques:

Asyndeton (the dashes, commas, and semicolons are used in place of connecting words and help create a tone of desperation by placing everything desperate Pygmalion tries to do to the statue in one sentence without transitions or connections between each phrase/clause)

Anaphora (the repetition of "he" at the start of each clause help convey the meaning that Pygmalion is the active player in this myth)

Juxtaposition (the contrast between Pygmalion's desperate actions and the statue's passive lack of response is developed with contrasting words/phrases like "kissed" and "could not kiss")

Word Choice:

"enticing" implies Pygmalion sees the statue not as a real woman but as an object to be desired ("enticing" is usually used to describe objects, like food, i.e., "the enticingly purple grape")

"cold" implies the statue is both physically and emotionally cold (like an ice queen) despite Pygmalion's desperate advances

Weak Sentence:

"Either he could not dismiss what he so disapproved of from his mind as easily as from his life, or else he was bent on forming a perfect woman and showing men the deficiencies of the kind they had to put up with."

Why it is weak:

The word choice isn't as strong as in the rest of the myth. It isn't super clear what Hamilton is trying to say. The ideas all flow together mushily, making it feel like a run-on sentence even though it is properly punctuated.

Rewrite:

Questions about Pygmalion's motives for forming the quintessentially statuesque woman persist. Perhaps his hatred for women in his real life failed to dampen his predilection for idealizing the female form. Or perhaps he hoped to illustrate, for all mankind, the imperfections in women he felt all men were forced to endure.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

"No hopeless lover of a living maiden was ever so desperately unhappy as Pygmalion."

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote: "... was very wise, wiser even than the gods..."

Techniques:

Polyptoton

Word Choice:

wise/wiser

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.headline
Jack Donze, Hellen Danzig, Kiena Campbell

# data[].attributes.subject
Jack Donze, Hellen Danzig, Kiena Campbell

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
Courage and shrewd cunning,fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like - until no good was left for men,
Weak Sentence:

# data[].attributes.body
He kissed those enticing lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

"He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely thing to look upon, in the likeness of a shy maiden, and all the gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and a embroidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers, and crown of gold - great beauty shone our from it."

Techniques:

Paradox: Great evil is a sweet and lovely thing to look upon

Dashes: there are lots of dashes

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Quote: "He fashioned them in a nobler shape than the animals, upright like the gods; and then he went to heaven, to the sun, where he lit a torch and brought down fire, a protection to men far better than anything else, whether fur or feathers or strength or swiftness.
Techniques: Polysyndeton (repetition of the word or creates a smooth and flowing sentence that emphasizes a sense of grandeur)
Parallel structure (fur or feathers or strength or swiftness, fur and feathers and strength and swiftness are parallel to each other, creating a
Word Choice:

# data[].attributes.body
Quote: "Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals, strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like—until no good was left for men, no protective covering and no quality to make them a match for the beasts."
Techniques:

Consonance- "strength and swiftness ...shrewd cunning, " There is the repetition of "S".

Polysyndeton- repetition of the conjuntion "and"

Periodic Sentence- could have ended at "Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals" etc.

Dashes- "like—until"gives the reading a deep pause where the reader can think and analyze what had just been said.

Juxtaposition- "best gifts" and "no quality"  contrast with each other.

Word Choice:

"Before making men" implies that the person who makes the men doesn't see the men as worthy they see the animal as more worthy.

"gave all the best gifts to the animals" this portrays that the person who is giving the gifts to the animals doesn't see  men as a fit for the skills that are being gifted that the men are supposed to be worthy of.

Weak Sentence:

Quote: "But from that time on, the sex he scorned had their revenge."

Why it is weak: The intro to the beginning of the sentence isn't thought out that well, it doesn't seem that necessary either. Although it has pretty good word choice the authors tone isn't included in the sentence. It also has very little voice, which makes it less interesting.
Rewrite:  The revolting sex he scorned and shunned had finally found and retrieved their revenge.

# data[].attributes.body
Padlet Critique of Hamilton's Writing: Pandora

Strong Sentence: “He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely maiden, and all gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and a broidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers, and a crown of gold- great beauty shone out from it” (Hamilton 88).

Techniques: Dashes, polysyndeton, periodic sentence, and a juxtaposition.

Word Choice: ‘great evil’- emphasizes how evil women are perceived (sexism)

‘ a wonder to behold’ - shows she is not normal.

‘Silvery raiment and broidered veil’- imagery.

‘Shone out’- hypnotizing.

Weak sentence: “In terror Pandora clapped the lid down, but too late” (Hamilton 88).

Why it is weak: Not descriptive, trying, but failing to be a simple sentence, and doesn’t show assonance or consonance or a pattern in writing, so is not very appealing to read.

Rewrite: “In nothing but utter terror, Pandora clapped down the lid of the box that was never supposed to be opened, but with a world of secrets inside, but too late.”

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote- "Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals, strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like—until no good was left for men, no protective covering and no quality to make them a match for the beasts."

Techniques:

Consonance ("fur and feathers", "strength and swiftness", "courage and shrewd cunning")

Polysyndeton ("...strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like"

Dashes ("... wings and shells and the like—until no good was left for men")

Juxtaposition ("no good", "no quality")

Word Choice:

Using polysyndeton, (having more conjunctions than normal, in this case, "and"), added emphasis to how many good qualities he gave to the animals, and how little he left for men. The repetition on "no" also stresses that there really was nothing good for men.

Adding all the adjectives to describe the animals also emphasized how much they were given

Weak Sentence:

Quote- " Prometheus, whose name means forethought, was very wise, wiser even than the gods, but Epimetheus, which means afterthought, was a scatterbrained person who invariably followed his first impulse and then changed his mind."

Why it is weak:

It sort of just states what the characters are like in an un-creative way;  word choice could be stronger. If this was a simple sentence then it would be fine.

Rewrite:

Impulsive, scatter-brained; all these words described Epimetheus, whose name literally means afterthought. Prometheus, on the other hand, (forethought), could only be called wise.