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I believe that I grew a lot as a writer. I think that coming in to class I had been so used to writing the 5 paragraph essay that we have been writing for so long. I strayed away from this and was able to be successful. I developed my voice and expressed myself and my feelings through my writing. I learned alot about identity and what shapes it. I learned that everything we do shapes who we are. I also learned not to take anything for granted. I learned that a lot of things that I am so lucky to have, many people do not. So I learned I am truly blessed by God and will do my best to share my blessings with those less fortunate. I will take my voice and my confidence to other classes. I will not be afraid or shy because we are all special and I found that out this semester. Thank you so much for everything Dr. R. I loved class with you and I would love to come back and see you in the fall!

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Pain and power… while they are so different they are also very similar. Both are feelings that leave us thinking. Pain is something that does not sit well with us, something that leaves a mark on us or our lives for a long time. For example, a death of a family member or a tragic accident. Power is something that we can take with us wherever we go. A sense of empowerment or strength is an amazing thing. It allows us to be confident in what we do and have authority. Pain can be the darkest place on earth or the hardest times someone's faced. Whereas power can be an all time high, the best feeling one has ever had. Both pain and power shape who we are, they shape our identity. Experiences involving pain and power can be based on race, religion, sexuality, gender, social class and so much more. These are experiences that either hurt us or damaged us as a person, or experiences that lift us up and empower us to be great. Many people struggle everyday to stay alive and to find the will to live, whereas many other people take life for granted due to their situation. Pain and power are experienced in many different ways, but we should celebrate them because they shape who we are and allow us to grow as people. In the novel When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and Ashe Bandele, pain and power are experienced through a number of different circumstances. Pain is experienced through all of the hardships and injustices Patrisse and her family face. For example “I spent my childhood watching my brother get arrested.” (50) During her childhood her brother Monte got arrested and put in prison, as well as her father Gabriel. These experiences of watching her family get arrested has caused a hatred and a dislike for the police and authority in her town. She is suffering because they are suffering at the hands of police. Patrisse also experiences pain when learning about how her brother was treated, saying  “But he has been stripped, beaten and starved, kicked and humiliated by cops. So they get to call him the threat. They get to call him the harm. They get to charge him with terrorism.” (117) This shows her frustration with what has been going on. She has dealt with so much internal suffering for what has happened to her Brother, who was wrongfully imprisoned. These moments of severe pain have also led her to moments of power. Patrisse begins to find her voice and the motivation to fight for what is right. Patrisse starts and runs a social group, they go out onto the most popular street in Beverly Hills and begin to protest. She says  “...standing shoulder to shoulder against the tanks, the machine guns. We have already learned from people in Palestine to douse our eyes with milk, not water, when attacked with tear gas.” (217) Patrisse’s voice and the voice of her supporters are being heard. Their voice is so powerful and known that they have machine guns and tanks lined up to stop the protests. They are not being disruptive or destructive, they are peacefully marching to show that Black Lives Matter. Through the pain and the trauma comes power and strength to fight for what is right.

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The theme of identity is present throughout the movie Black Panther.  Inside the theme of Identity there are smaller themes which allow for us to understand how a character's identity is shaped. Some of these include family, struggle and strength. Black Panther is about 5 tribes in Wakanda. 4 of those tribes have joined forces but one has not. They serve to protect the sacred land full or riches, but not to spread the knowledge of Wakanda to the outside world. The King T’chaka is killed and his son, T’challa takes over the throne. T’challa is very close with and loved his Father very much, he wanted to rule Wakanda just as he did. His Father's identity runs through him and drove him to be the best King he could be. T’challa’s family is also an important role in the movie. His Mother is the Queen and his sister a Princess. His Uncle N’jobu was killed by his Father, and his Cousin  N’jakada is part of the Wakanda tribe as well. His cousin N’jadaka was left behind in America and came later in the film to challenge T’challa for the role of king. He beat him and became king of the tribe. In doing so he wanted to spread Wakandas knowledge to the outside world. There were spies in Hong Kong, London and New York. He hoped to give vibranium and weapons to them to expand the nations riches. When N’jakadas Father was killed he began to train and he joined the military to gain as much power as he could. He killed many people in hopes to kill his Father's murderer, T’chaka. In this sense, his identity was discovered through his family. His Father is the reason for his actions, and he takes these actions against his own family for justice. On the topic of struggle, there is struggle throughout this movie. There is struggle for power and struggle for acceptance. The struggle for power is present when there are challenges for T’challa. M’baku, the leader of the mountain tribe and N’jakada, his cousin fight him for the title of King of Wakanda. T’challa defeats M’baku but not N’jakada. This made N’jakada king until he was overthrown and killed by T’challa at the end. These challenges show the warriors identity because they are hungry for power and they are willing to do anything for it. There is struggle for acceptance in Black Panther when the CIA agent is welcomed into Wakanda. He is made aware about the vibranium supply and advanced technology in Wakanda so they make him as one of their own. They are in South Korea trying to foil the plans of an arms dealer named Ulysses Klaue who was trying to distribute vibranium. They capture Klaue and during his escape, Everett K. Ross the CIA agent is shot and taken back to Wakanda. He struggles to find his identity. He is brought to a third world country and he has no idea what he is doing. He turns out to be one of the most important people in the entire movie. He is struggling to find acceptance and struggling to find his purpose. When King N’jakada takes over he wants to spread the wealth and knowledge of Wakanda out and he begins to load weapons and vibranium into shipments to be sent out. Using the technology developed by Shuri, T’challa’s sister, Everett is able to use his Air Force background to fly an aircraft. This aircraft and mission were very important. His mission was to shoot down the planes carrying the packages for the outside world, and he did so successfully. He saved the future of the nation of Wakanda by stopping those planes. While he did not know what to make of this country, or its people, he saved them all. Finally there is the theme of strength as it relates to overall theme of identity. Strength is present in all of the tribes, in the queen, the king, the families and the nation of Wakanda. The whole nation runs on strength and beliefs. Strength is present in their faith. They praise their ancestors and those who have paved the way for them. In doing this they allow themselves to be filled with strength and power. For example, when made king T’challa and N’jakada drank the vibranium to become the Black Panther. After they did this the praised their ancestors and buried them, making them have flashbacks. This allowed both men to connect with their past and their fathers. In doing so they were filled with strength not only to be the Black Panther, but strength and motivation to be the best. T’challa was motivated at first to be as good of a king as his father was, and then he was motivated to come out of his coma and save Wakanda. N’jakada connected with the moment his father passed away and what he found which was his Grandfather's ring. In doing so, he gained strength becoming the Black Panther. He also gained understanding of his background and that gave him strength and purpose to rule Wakanda in the way he thought was right. This allowed him to find his true identity and who he wanted to be seen as. Strength is present with the warriors of the 5 tribes. They are seen fighting each other towards the end of the movie, for power and to show the strength they all possessed. This strength and fighting abilities shape who they are and what they stand for, some for change and N’jakada and some for continuation with T’challa. Lastly, the identity of the royal family is shown through strength. When T’challa is believed to be killed his Mother, Sister and ex go into hiding trying to find any way to overthrow the new king. In showing this strength and persistence, even going to the enemy tribe, they find T’challa and save him. Their strong beliefs on their ancestors bring him back out of the coma, saving him. Identity is present throughout the great movie The Black Panther through the smaller themes of family, strength and struggle. The characters struggle to find their identities, but strength and trust allow the nation of Wakanda to thrive.

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I noticed many things in the video titled “Family Feud” featuring JAY-Z and Beyonce. First and foremost I noticed that the video was taken place in the future. I noticed that the whole video was looking ahead into the future and showing how everything that we do today will affect the world's future. It also showed how there seems to be some sort of Monarchy. In the beginning there is a fight for power among family members. It also depicted Women writing the Constitution. When watching this video I felt empowered, I felt as if the future starts now and that we are essentially all a family. I felt an urge to bring people together. Despite things that may separate us, we are all one, and we must realize that. A line that stood out to me a lot was when someone said “The worst of us doesn’t define us.” This quote means a lot, it shows that we all have diverse backgrounds and that past experiences, hardships, etc.. don't define us as people. In the video they talk about how forefathers and mothers have shaped us into who we are today. They talk about how they fought for the law and how they lived to fight, how they went to church and believed in God. It also talks about how our forefathers and mothers paved the way for us, they fought for each other and for us so we don't have too. We still fight diversity as shown in the video, but that diversity can and needs to bring us together. This video shows that if there is difficulty or hardships in the family it is fatal. There was also a quote that said "I hope that we can shine again. We just have to remember from which we came. Family first, and always." This quote is very important. It shows us that no matter where we go or what we do we all come from somewhere and we cannot forget that. No matter how successful or unsuccessful we are in life, we all came from somewhere that shaped us into who we are.There are different types of families, families of race, families through blood, even families of animals. “Family Feud” shows that in all types of families there are tough times, but we cant let the feud or the problems affect who we are and how we go about life.

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The word Mother has a very important meaning to me. When I hear the word Mother I think of my Mom and all she does for me. In my house, family is very important to us. For as long as I can remember my family has made awesome memories together. I have 4 siblings so we have a pretty large family. My parents work very hard to provide for us. My parents both work at Meadowbrook which is a year round pool. My Mom is one of the most influential people in my life and she is truly amazing. My Mom grew up with and Brother and a Sister and her parents were both in the public school system. Her Dad was an Elementary School principal, and her Mom was a substitute teacher. She has 5 kids and every single one is important to her. I’ve noticed in many families that there are favorites, but not in mine. My Mom has always told us that she always wanted to get married and have kids. She has always loved kids and she says that we are the best kids she could have asked for. My Mom truly cares for us and wants the best for us, she realizes that we are all different and she expects that. Coming out of high school she was very unsure of what she wanted just like I am. This is one of the things that draws me even closer to my Mom, she has had similar experiences such as being unsure what she wanted, so in talking with her I have been able to understand that there truly is no rush. I have come to understand that all of my siblings and I are on a different path, we are united and we work together but what works for one of us isn't necessarily the same for all of us. My Mom has made that clear, and her unconditional support has allowed us to be ourselves. The word Mother makes me think of all of those who are less fortunate as well. As previously stated, the way I grew up was family first, but not all families are that way. Some people don't have supportive Mothers or Fathers, and some people unfortunately lost theirs. To those people, I encourage you to find someone who can fill that role for you. It doesn't necessarily have to be a family member, it could just be a friend or a stranger. In finding a mother figure I can guarantee you that you will have someone who is there for you and cares about you. Not all families are the same and not all families should be the same, but there is one thing that makes life easier, one thing that makes family closer and one person who means the world to me and many other families and that is my Mother.

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The Fountain of Our Lives

Identity is one of the most important things in our lives. One's identity is shaped by many things. Someone's experiences, culture, background, race, ethnicity, gender, religion and sexual orientation are the main things that form our identity. Our identity is something that we all have and some appreciate. Many people accept who they are and are proud of where they come from. But as read in class, some people don't share this same opinion. Some people come to this country in hopes of a better life, to fit in, but the opposite happens. They are seen as an outcast, they don’t seem to fit in with the ‘normal’ standards. This causes people to want to change who they are. They want to have a new identity just to fit in. These are some of the different ways identity is present in our lives.

I have had great experiences in discovering my identity. I come from a large family and we are all supportive of each other. My parents have stressed for so long that my four siblings and I are all different. We are all on different paths and neither path is better than another. We are all on different paths, but are there to support each other through it all. My two brothers are in the Navy, my older sister is a teacher and my little sister is a straight A student about to apply to colleges. I on the other hand have no idea what I want to do. What makes that easier, is the fact that my parents don’t treat me any different than my siblings. In allowing me to be myself and decide what I want to be, they are allowing me to shape my own identity. I have experienced times of struggle, questioning my choice to not go to a University. I have experienced loneliness in feeling left out, not knowing what I want like my siblings. Lastly, my family has played the most important role in forming my identity. I am unsure of what I want, and they have made that okay. I am unsure of what will come next, and they have supported me. I have struggled, I have felt lonely and I wouldn’t change a thing. Through this wide range of emotions and feelings, I have been able to accept who I am, accept that I am on a different path, and take this challenge of the unknown head on.

Struggle is a period of time someone goes through, short or long, that affects their life. People may have financial struggles, health struggles or in this case, identity struggles. Struggle is directly related to a person's identity. In hard times or times of need, our hardships and struggles show what a person really goes through. They show who a person is on the inside and who they may want to become. The story Good Girls Marry Doctors fits under the theme of struggle in many ways. Throughout the story the main character Mathangi is trying to identify what and who she wants to be. Mathangi is trying to fit in at school where she feels as if she is an outcast. She is different from the other kids, but she wants to have similar experiences such as Thanksgiving and Christmas so she can talk about it in class. Mathangi is struggling to fit in, she is struggling to either accept who she is or become who she wants to be. She says “When I was desperately trying to figure out who I was before I had no friends and no confidence; at that moment, I thought that canned was the answer. Just open and pour, like everyone else.” (185) This shows the contemplation in her mind. She is torn whether to be herself or simply just be like everyone else. This shows the struggle people go through often. People of all backgrounds try to fit in to what is considered ‘normal’ because if they do not, they fear as if they will be treated differently. This is especially relevant to children who are younger and in school because they are constantly being judged and trying to fit in. Struggle is relevant in all different people, through their past experiences and current events. While Mathangi struggles with fitting in and feeling comfortable, Sherman Alexie struggles to find safety and feelings of comfort. Alexie and his experiences described in his story Forty Knives fit under the theme of struggle as well. In the story Forty Knives, Alexie talks about his history with abuse and the men who had abused him. This is a major event from his past that has  caused him to struggle with trying to protect himself. He is fearful that this could happen again at any time. In Forty Knives, Alexie says “I had been abused by one man. I knew he’d be at the party, so I assumed I’d have to specifically protect myself against him and generally protect myself against all of the other predators.” (13) Alexie is showing his internal struggle with his past. He has a history of being abused and he is worried it could happen again with all of the people at the party. There are murderers and abusers at this party so he is struggling to find peace. Alexies struggle to find feelings of safety is one that is too common in society these days. People of all backgrounds, different races, different ethnicities and different religious beliefs struggle to feel comfortable with who they are due to people's reactions to them. While Alexie struggles to protect himself from his past experiences, the people of Wakanda in the Black Panther want to protect their nation from what is to come, from the new king. In the nation of Wakanda there is a king and he rules the land. The king has the powers of the Black Panther but can be stripped of them if a challenger chooses to challenge the king for the throne. This happens twice when N’jakada and M’boku challenge king T’challa for the throne. There is a struggle for power during these scenes. The 2 warriors are challenging the king for power of Wakanda. In gaining this power they will rule how they want to rule. There is also struggle when N’jakada beats T’challa. He becomes king and wants to expand Wakanda’s resources and knowledge to the outside world. There is a lot of resistance from the citizens and a battle takes place over this struggle for power. This battle takes place because the people of Wakanda want continuity. They have been ruled a certain way for so long to protect them and now a new king wants to expand their empire to the whole outside world. This struggle for acceptance and change is what causes the battle among the 5 tribes of Wakanda.

Family is something that plays a vital role in shaping one's identity. A person's family is usually who they are around most often. Someone's family and how they were brought up shapes who they are and how they see the world. For example, Sherman Alexie talks about his different relationships with his parents in Forty Knives. He has a strong relationship with his Mom, but not as strong with his Dad. In Forty Knives, Alexie states “ ‘My mom saved us,’ I said. ‘She saved us from the drunks’” (18) which shows the respect he has for his Mother. He can't rely on his Father due to his drinking issues so he relies on his Mother for support. Alexie also states  “She cursed our father as she drove.” (17) in reference to his Mother's reaction to her husband. He has such an issue that she has to take the kids away from him. Alexie has little to no relationship with his Father and this shapes who he is. It shapes how he sees the world with essentially only the influence of one parent. In growing up and developing as a person, someone's family provides the best advice and acts as the best role model. This idea is touched upon in the Family Feud video by Jay Z and Beyonce. Michael B. Jordan, one of the stars of Black Panther is in the Family Feud video as well. In the beginning he says to his sister “Look at you, you don’t deserve to be the face of this family, you’re a disgrace” He is referencing that they are a part of the royal family. He also references his Father and how he would not be pleased with her actions. In voicing his displeasure he is hoping that something will change with his Sister. The family and face of the family have shaped who Michael B Jordan has become. He wants to represent his family well and he feels as if he would fit this role the best. Families and their aspirations shape who they are. Some families or members want to change how they are seen and what they represent, Mathangi’s family is one of them. In Good Girls Marry Doctors Mathangi is at dinner with her family trying to get them to eat a ‘normal’ thanksgiving dinner like a ‘normal’ American family. She is embarrassed and worried about her situation at school and the fact that she does not have any experiences related to the other kids. The school kids talk about what they ate and what family members attended their holidays, whereas Mathangi is at a loss for words. In Operation Make My Family Normal, Mathangi says “As my mother set the table for Thanksgiving dinner, I opened the can of cranberry sauce and divided it four ways…” (184). Mathangi is showing her determination to really make her family ‘normal.’ All of the kids at her school eat cranberry sauce and turkey and then they bring it as leftovers for the whole week. She feels excluded because she does not share similar experiences. She uses her family and their celebrations to try and relate it to who she wants to be seen as.

Loneliness is caused by many different things. It can be caused by past experiences or present circumstances. A lonely person is someone who is literally alone or someone who feels left out in a certain situation. These feelings of loneliness shape our identity because they allow us to see deep inside ourselves. They allow us to be independent and figure out who we are. Loneliness is literal in Sherman Alexie's Forty Knives. He says “But those forty knives would be enough to make a monster pause and reconsider.” (15) Alexie is giving vivid imagery to the reader. He talks about his past experiences with abuse and how he intends to protect himself on the night of the party. He sticks 40 butter knives in his door to try and stay lonely, to try and protect himself. These feelings of loneliness by Alexie are comforting and allowing him to stay calm. He feels as if his knives will protect him against predators. This loneliness portrays Alexie’s identity as defensive and hopeful that he can find comfort in being locked in his room.  Loneliness is portrayed in certain situations where someone may feel left out. These feelings of exclusion shape who we are and our identity. They allow us to try and be someone different or accept who we truly are. Mathangi in the story Operation Make My Family Normal talks about how she wanted to be the same as all of the other kids for so long. She wanted to have a similar conversation about her holidays. In the end, Mathangi is happy with her Indian food for lunch as opposed to leftovers from thanksgiving like everyone else. Mathangi says “Not a drop of cranberry sauce in sight. Only weirdness. Delicious, homemade weirdness.” This quote shows her appreciation for her background and identity. While she is still unsure of who she wants to be seen as, she is not unsure of who she is. She has feelings of loneliness at lunch but she is happy and content with her “weirdness.” She is comfortable with who she is and that is what matters most. Killmonger in the movie Black Panther has similar feelings of loneliness. In the movie his father is killed when he is young. He and his father are both from Wakanda. He is all alone in America without a father. He joined the military to train and come back to avenge his father. He killed hundreds of men in preparation to challenge king T’challa and become the ruler of Wakanda. He defeats him and avenges his Father becoming king. He defeats his feelings of loneliness and his challenge becoming what he feels he was destined to be. He has seen himself as the one to save the nation and his identity is being confirmed.

Identity is the fountain that runs through us. It is shaped by all aspects of our life. What we have done, who we are and what we believe shape our identity. To me, understanding and accepting your identity is one of the biggest challenges in life. I still struggle understanding who I am and what I want to be. Everyone around me seems to know and I feel as if I am just lost in the crowd. Through learning more about identity and what it truly is, I have been able to understand how many people there are just like me in this world. I may not be seen as different, and I may not feel different as other people are made to feel, but inside I feel different. I feel as if I am lost and that is ok. My family is here to support me and that is what matters most. For those people who are not as lucky as I am, keep fighting and working hard. Keep being yourself and accepting diversity. You and your identity are what make this country a better place for all.

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Family. One word that encompasses our entire life. Without family we would have and be nothing. Without family we would not be in this world, and without family we would not be prepared for the real world. My family is the most important thing in my life. My actual family, and those who I consider family: friends and my girlfriend. In “When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir” Patrisse has a large amount of family and she tells us how her family is present in her life. Patrisse has 2 brothers, a Mother and a Father, as well as a man who she believed was her father for a long time. Her brothers names are Monte and Paul. Her brothers take care of her and support her. She struggles early in life due to Monte’s experiences with the law. She cares about him and is so close with him. He gets sent to prison a couple of times and is mistreated there. He is tortured ad beaten and this deeply upsets Patrisse. Patrisse also finds out that a man named Alton is the Father of Monte and Paul, but not her. She finds out that a man named Gabriel is her real Father. She is eager and anxious to see him and finally does. He i s very loving and supporting of Patrisse. He opens his family up to her, his siblings and his Mom. They have many family outings and celebrations that are separate from her brothers Monte and Paul. She is both upset about this and intrigued by her true family. Her father Gabriel struggles with drug addiction, and  is sent to jail. Her hatred and fury for the prison system has just begun. Soon she realizes what hardships they have endured and the mistreatment they have experienced. Patrisse’s family is present and supportive in all she does. They care about her and love her and want the best for her, just as she does. Her brothers take care of her as well as her Mom who works 3 jobs just to make ends meet. Alton treats Patrisse as his own and Gabriel loves her to death as well as all of his family. Patrisse has such a love for her family and it shows. She wants to and does take care of Monte when he returns from prison. She also takes care of Gabriel and helps him, attending his classes where he works to cure his addiction. He unfortunately cannot and passes away. This is such a hard time for Patrisse who is broken both inside and out. Her brother has been treated poorly and abused by the Police and her Father hasn't gotten the treatment he needs, he got locked up where nothing happened. His passing made her realize how important family and community is. She received support for her loss and for her brother Monte. People came together for a cause, they came together to support a friend. Patrisse is close with both her immediate family and her community which is also a family, a family enduring many hardships. I am left thinking about how Patrisse's life would be different if she was white. If she didn't grow up where she did, and if her brother and father were not wrongfully in the prison system. I am also left wondering if Patrisse would have a large social involvement like she does. Would she be outspoken and vocal in society concerning today's issues?

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In our lives on a daily basis there are hardships and triumphs. There are good times and bad times. There are moments on top of the world, and those in the darkest hole. Rooted at the center of these emotions are two themes. Pain and power. I have experienced pain and power in my life on many occasions, just as all people have throughout the world. Just a couple weeks ago, I was in a six car accident and totaled my car. Three days later I was let go at my job because there wasn’t a need for me anymore. This was a pain filled time in my life, no car to drive and no job to work. I didn’t know what to do, but I never gave up. I have just gotten a new job and I am loving it. I am saving money to get a car so I can be right back where I was. These past couple weeks have been a challenge, but not nearly as much of a challenge as people across the country are facing. These events in my life have made me take a step back and realize how lucky I truly am to have had a car and a job. As I am driving around I see the state our city is in and the large amount of homeless people on the streets. I see the poverty and the drugs, I see the struggle and the pain. There is a major problem across the United States that needs to be addressed, and it is poverty. Many people struggle everyday to stay alive, to be on this earth. I am grateful and blessed to be in the position I am, but also troubled by the fact that so many people today cannot experience what I have for one reason or another. I wish the best for struggling people across the nation. I pray that God blesses them the way he has blessed my life. Pain and power are experienced in many different ways, but we should celebrate them because they shape who we are and allow us to grow as people. In the novel When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and Ashe Bandele, pain and power are experienced through injustices, discrimination and struggles. These struggles and wrong doings have an impact on family, the community, sexuality and the prison system.

Family is something that we all have. We are all brought into this world and into a family. Whether it be a good or bad situation, it is something we all have. Whether it is family we want or don’t want, we all have it. Whether it is a source of pain in our lives, or an source of power, we all have family. The theme of family fits under the larger theme of power in the book When They Call You A Terrorist. This is present in the form of Patrisses relationship with her Mom, her Father's impact on her life, and her family being her main support system. “I cannot look in the face of those judging men and believe that they truly are the ones who could hold my mother to account.” (71)  says Patrisse regarding the way Jehovah's Witnesses treated her Mother. Patrisse at such a young age realizes that her Mom has worked so hard to provide for them. She realizes that her mother is being scrutinized for having a child out of wedlock, and she realizes that she needs to find God and get away from this. This interaction with her Mother has allowed her to realize this is not her path, and only she has the power to fix that.

Gabriel and Alton, Patrisses real father and father figure provide strength, power and support for Patrisse and her family. Referring to Patrisses discovery of her real father, Gabriel says “I’m not here to take you away from anyone, he tells me more than once. I’m just here to add to your life in a way that is good and useful.” (41) Gabriel understands that Patrisse has a great relationship with Alton and her mother and siblings. He is letting her know that although he hasn’t been present thus far in her life, he doesn't want to take away from her life, but add to it. He wants to give her his love and empower her to be whatever she wants. He is there to support her and now it is very clear. Talking about this same instance, upon the discovery of Gabriel, Alton says “I never wanted you to feel like you were half anything, step nothing. Like you weren’t mine. You’ve always been mine. I don’t want you to feel any different.” (32) Alton is showing his support for Patrisse as well, he didn’t want her to feel left out so he let her believe he was her father. He built up their relationship and made her into who she is today.

A community is different for each person. It can be where you live and the people around you It can be a sports team or a group of people. It can even be your family and those you surround yourself with. In this case, when Patrisse mentions her community she is referring to where she lives and who she is surrounded by. She is in the middle of the war on drugs and the police presence in her area is unreal. Patrisse is also referring to people of color all across the country who face similar hardships. These hardships have been sources of pain, but also sources of power. She uses community in a literal and a more broad term. Through talking about her community, she shows us how it shaped her life, how it has shaped how she views society and the struggles that her community has endured. Growing up in Van Nuys, Patrisse has been exposed to police brutality, starvation, poverty and injustices. These experiences have both shaped who Patrisse has become, and led her to deal with struggles in life. Regarding her struggle in life Patrisse states “Being hungry is the hardest thing, and to this day I have prayers of gratitude for the Black Panthers, who made Breakfast for Children a thing that schools should do.” (12) This experience of hunger and starvation has been painful for Patrisse and her community. The amount of poverty is devastating and the children as well as the parents are suffering. Patrisse also talks about children of color at school and the impact the school system has on kids lives, saying “Black children were far more at risk, suspended at nearly four times the white students despite similar behavior patterns.” (217) The statistics are showing that children of color are four times as likely to be suspended for doing the same thing as a white student, who gets no punishment. This is also a source of pain in the community. These children whose parents are not around or are out working are now suspended and sent home to be alone. In being alone they are perceived as being criminals or committing crimes, so they are arrested. We are sending kids home from school to a rundown community with no supervision and they are then locked up for hanging out in an alley. This pain has reached a new level.

Power has also come from the community of Van Nuys, and those across the nation. Patrisse along with members from her social group have become activists. They are protesting injustices and advocating for those whose voices are not heard. In a heated moment she says “...standing shoulder to shoulder against the tanks, the machine guns. We have already learned from people in Palestine to douse our eyes with milk, not water, when attacked with tear gas.” (217) This statement shows just how much of an impact these protests are having. These injustices are being fought with tanks and machine guns. These wrong doings are being met with heavy weapons, not people willing to solve the problem, or even listen. This is fueling this Black Lives Matter movement and empowering its supporters to keep fighting.

Patrisses sexuality and preferences have had a large impact on her life. They have led her on journeys to find social acceptance and to find independence. In searching for social acceptance, Patrisse is looking to be understood by her family and community, “There are 20 girls of color who come out during my time at Cleveland, I am one of them” (77) she says.  There are not many people who come out, Patrisse is one of them, they all have something in common, that is the desire to be accepted, the desire to be understood. Patrisses sexualtity has also put her on the path of independence. She is looking to find God and figure her life out, she is not sure who she likes and what she wants. Patrisse has struggled to find herself and she is ready to find out. She has seen the path her Mom has taken being a part of Jehovah’s Witness, and does not want any part of it. In her search to find herself, Patrisse says “And beyond the doors of the Kingdom Hall, I set out to find God, to find my spirit, to find myself.” (73) On this path to find herself and go out on her own path, Patrisse is taking the first step to independence.

Prison is a controversial topic, seen differently by many people. Some support prison due to public safety, other oppose it due to bigger issues. The bigger issues are the need to address mental health or living conditions which are the roots of these problems. The majority of arrests are on drug charges, why lock an addict up when we could get them the help they need so when they get out they can be healthy? Prison tears people apart. Prison provides years of pain, sometimes completely unnecessary and illogical. Prison has a large impact on families, on society and in creating injustices across the nation. Patrisse has grown up around poverty and struggle. She and her family have endured a lot of pain due to prison, saying “I spent my childhood watching my brother get arrested.” (50) During her childhood her brother Monte got arrested and put in prison, as well as her father Gabriel. These arrests have rattled her life and changed her views on the world. The torture and mishandling of her brother Monte has shaken her up and fired her up. The locking up of her father instead of getting him help has added to this pain and hatred. Patrisse uses this motivation to advocate for people of color and reduce prisons impact on society.

The societal impact prison has is serious as well. Communities that are facing poverty and challenges are policed the most. Parents are out working three jobs to make ends meet, and when they get home they find out their child was arrested for standing in an alley with friends. It is said that “In the city of Los Angeles, almost 50 percent of all homicides go unsolved and gang injunctions did absolutely nothing to stave off violence in the street.” (186) What is happening is that these people are being locked up for possession of drugs or sometimes even nothing, but the ones who are arrested for murder are let off the hook. The entire prison system is corrupt and is aimed to hurt people not help our society. As previously mentioned, the injustices of prison have affected Patrisse and many families across the country. Police are abusing Monte and other prisoners, they are calling him a terrorist because he has a disease and he had an outbreak. As opposed to getting Monte help they labeled him a threat and abused him, exclaiming “But he has been stripped, beaten and starved, kicked and humiliated by cops. So they get to call him the threat. They get to call him the harm. They get to charge him with terrorism.” (117) This quote really displays the flaws in the prison system. They abusing and beating an innocent man… but he is the terrorist?

Pain and power have a unique relationship. They are oddly similar but also very different. Pain and power both lead to understanding our identity, but in two different ways. Pain helps us grow as people and deal with hard times, hopefully coming out on top. Power allows us to realize who we are and what we stand for. While they both affect us, they do not both define us. Pain and power apply to almost all current issues today. Issues regarding race, poverty and identity, mainly seen in the news today, concern pain and power. The pain Americans feel from discrimination and hardships allow them to work hard, gain power, and take these challenges head on. Through When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and Ashe Bandele, I have learned a lot about the Black Lives Matter movement. I learned who started it and the reason behind its creation. Those most affected by society's actions including the police and prison spoke up and started the movement. They did not start it for fame, but they started it to be heard. Black Lives Matter is dozens of years of inhumane and appalling acts of cruelty being called out and protested to prevent people of color from experiencing these injustices any longer. Routed by painful times and powerful triumphs, Black Lives Matter lives to this day to protect and honor people of color in America.

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Based on figure 11 in this reading, I identify as a member of the Dominant/ Agent group. I had a couple different frames that I pulled out of the DiAngelo reading. I mainly focused on race, religion, gender, nationality and class. I believe that these are fairly important and describe a person quite well. Based on these frames we get to know a person's gender, what race they are, what nationality they come from, what they believe and where they lie on the social pyramid. Back to figure 11, most common qualities of the dominant age group are ones that I possess. For example, I am white and I would say my family is middle class. I am heterosexual and a man, I am a Christian, I am able bodied (no disabilities). Lastly, I am a middle aged citizen. So, based on this chart I am a member of the Dominant/ Agent group. The explanation of this chart was that most of the qualities found on the right side are looked at as common among the white population but in fact I believe that people can identify themselves in certain areas of both sides. For example, someone could be a White Christian who has a disability and is of the lower class. Also, there could be a person of color who is  a wealthy, able bodied citizen. In fact there are thousands of people just as I described in the U.S. and around the world. I understand that this chart is here to show how people can be judged and are judged, but I also believe that there are so many influential people who fall into both categories. I believe that if we put a label on a being dominant or minoritized then we are just adding to the division of society. One of the main problems pointed out in society today and for so long has been the divide of people across America. I believe that if we point out that so many people fall into both of these categories, if we celebrate and appreciate those people as opposed to setting a division among people than this chart would coincide with more people. Lastly, I understand that this chart is made to show the divide in society and what people experience  but I also believe that it is putting a label on being privileged or not privileged, thus dividing people even more and not bringing us together.

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There are many privilege surveys that we have been taking. I was pretty surprised at how many surveys there are. I know that white privilege has been talked about for awhile but I did not realize that there were all of these other privileges. It makes sense that their are all sorts of privileges, or what people perceive as a privilege. I took the White privilege Christian privilege and the Class privilege assessments. I found it interesting in the White privilege where it mentioned things like band-aids being the skin color of white people, and walking into a classroom and not being the only person of my race. I just feel as if some of these do not really identify as a privilege. I think that band-aids were made for the sole purpose of protecting wounds, I personally do not think that it was meant to be a certain skin tone. I also do not think that walking into a class and having people of the same race is a privilege especially in public schools. I grew up going to all public schools and it was one of the most amazing and diverse experiences I have had. I had friends of all different backgrounds and there was a huge variety of people at all of these schools. When taking the Christian privilege I found that some of the statements made sense and I agree with them. The one that stands out the most is where it says “My religious holidays are so completely ‘normal’ that, in many ways, they may appear to no longer have any religious significance at all.” I found this very relatable in today's society. I feel as if many people celebrate these holidays just to say they do, but they do not really understand what they are celebrating. I have grown up Catholic and I fully understand what Christmas and Easter are all about. I sometimes have to take a step back and remember why we celebrate these days and think about all I have learned growing up in the Catholic Church.  Public school systems have long breaks for these holidays but they sometimes do not even have off for holidays of other religions. I noticed one that said “I can safely assume that any authority figure will generally be someone of my religion.” I don’t think that this is very true. I think that more and more people aren't necessarily choosing a religion these days.I feel like people don’t really know what to believe or what they believe. I also wouldn’t necessarily call that a privilege I would just say it may be a coincidence. I completely understand what they are trying to say, saying that it can be assumed that most people of authority are Christian as opposed to  a less religious belief which could be seen as a privilege. I also understand other biases and privileges, but I don’t always agree that they are true. Lastly I was looking at the class privilege survey and I was surprised to see some things it said. It seemed like the person viewed upper class people as being spoiled and wasteful. For example ‘I am free of the burden of debt.” Also, “I buy what I need/want without worry.” Lastly, ‘I have the freedom to waste.” I feel as if many of these statements are true for some people who may have inherited their wealth, but I also think that many people work very hard for their money and that most of those people while they can spend money, don’t usually just waste it. I think that these surveys are useful in letting people think outside of their box and letting people know that some things we take for granted, shouldn’t be taken for granted.