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Was my scream aimed at my children?
For not listening once again?

And yet...I don’t want them to blindly follow authority, even mine

My scream was at my lack of support system

My lack of self-care

Me.

Get it together.

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I wish it were a scream.
But with energy sapped by grief
I manage only a quiet tear.

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The day’s news makes me want to scream

My disbelief, my horror, the indigestible pain.

Instead I pray for the will to effect the change of which I dream.

dm

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"Has she screamed?" the clueless chaplain asked.  Her body, riddled with cancer was failing.

Screaming, she told us later, would only upset the nurses who tended her.

My mother, always my teacher, comes back to me at this time of year.  Dead for 37 years, I sing her praises still.

(The anniversary of my ordination was yesterday. One of my mother's last blessings to me was to place a stole on my shoulders in celebration.)

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"My God, my God, why?!"
"I got my second vaccine!"
Grief and Rejoicing

WDRplus

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Enough.           Enough.           Enough.                       

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Enough.           Enough.           Enough.                       

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A scream abandons all pretense of control

I’m too pretentious

Screaming risks repercussions

I’m too careful

Screaming might open us to a powerful daring and raw deity

I may never know

BWH

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I almost never scream out loud

It might feel really good if I did

I’d want to be in the mountains – or by the ocean – where the earth could receive my pain

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When I was unable to scream, unable to utter a sound /
My silence protected me, I thought /
instead the silence screamed

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Children scream too much;
Adults, not enough.
I'm practicing in my empty nest
To scream as God intends.

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Only once have I screamed like that, whole-body rebellion against hopelessness, against the unceasing tide of demands that would have drowned me without noticing.

That was the moment I saw myself as indelibly “dangerous” - the size of my rage and freedom terrifying, even to me. So I fled.

Since then I have not dared to raise my voice above a whisper.

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Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

How hushed was your scream?

Listen; hear those words of love.