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Intro

Advertising has created many different impacts for society, positive impacts and negative impacts. In this passage, the author highlights the negative impacts of advertising. On the other hand, there are still some positive impacts that can be brought about by advertising which is not stated in the passage. Overall, i agree with the author's view that advertising has created more negative impacts.

body

In the passage, the author states that through advertisements, people are able to relieve the problems that they face and feel better. As stated in the passage 'It teaches us the consumers, to value...deepest human needs' (line 12-line 15) This view is shows that advertising can create negative impacts as when one has a problem, instead of facing it, the individual is more prone to spend their money on goods as they believe it solves their problems. As a result, advertising has created a wrong mindset that tells people that the way to resolve their issues is by shopping rather than facing their problems.

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in the passage, the author states that the main aim of advertisements is to make the youth buy products. As stated in the passage 'They do not hesitate.... femininity or masculinity'(line 35-38) This shows that advertisements does create negative impacts as it tells people that they have to do certain things such as buying branded goods, smoke or do drugs to fit in with society.

Mark you still need to improve on your response as you are NOT fulfilling the requirement esp about relating to the Q.

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Intro: Due to globalisation and the advancement in technology, advertising has indeed evolved in many ways. With reference from the passsage,

the author raises several negative impacts of advertising which is becoming a growing concern of today's society. I agree to a large extent with

the author's analysis of the situation as his analysis can also be observed in SIngapore's society and media.

Para 1: In paragraph 2. the author talks about how advertisement has promoted consumerism in America by advertising products in a way that

it can be perceived as a solution to the consumer's problem. I agree to his point because in Singapore, we often see products being advertised

in a scenario where it often centers around a problem. Take for instance Singapore's slim fit advertisement, the company engages local celebrities

to appear in their advertisment stating how effective is the product,their transformation and of course,how their problem has been solved

after consuming the slimming pills. The main motive of doing so is to simply attract people to use their products to make themselves feel good and to

have a sense of satisfaction. As such, Singapore's Media Development Authority regulates the media strictly and forbids any advertisment that portrays

erotic scenes.

Para 2: Next,the author points out in paragraph 4 that advertisers takes advantage of teenager's vulnerability to sell their product in the youth market, I

disagree with him on this point. Teenagers is the age group that is the most emotionally unstable,it also the age where most teens are seeking a sense of identity. However,

teenagers were taught from young that they should never be easily influenced negatively through moral and civics lessons in schools. As such, advertisments that show

how certain products might make teenagers seem cool and accepted by society through purchasing cigarettes, designer jeans and sneakers ,may not have a strong impact on

them since, by doing so, they would be wasting their parent's hard earned money to buy products that are redundant and ,might even be detrimental to their health. As such,

more and more younger Singaporeans are beginning to realize the ugly side of advertising and will be less prone to fall into the traps set out by advertisers,

Not bad there is engagement with SG issues but more specific details are necessary.

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intro : this passage on advertising has raised valid points observed in our society today such as "targeting he young, advertisers are aware of their ability to create a kind of national peer pressure that erodes indivisual as well as community values and standard".

Body paragraph 1:

In paragraph 1, the passage pointed out that "television, radio, newspapers and magazines are saturated with advertising" and mentioned that "with commercial slogans, emblazoned across baseball caps, t-shirts and sneakers, we become walking advertisement". I concur with the author on his statements about advertising. The truth and accuracy od his statement is demonstrated by the fact that in Singapore, when one clicks on a video on the youtube, it oftens start with an advertisement, promoting on any and everything. Be it television, radio, newspaper or magazines, there will always be a section on advertising and on the promoting of brands.

Body paragraph 2:

"Advertising teaches us to be consumers, to feel that happiness can be bought, to believe in instant solutions to complex problems, and to turn to products for fulfilment of our deepest human needs." (line14-15) and "they sell values-images and concepts and tell us who we are and who we should be"(line20). I personally feel that advertisements are constantly tapping on our insecurities and it is often trying to influence our mindsets about how we feel about ourselves- Makes us feel that we are not good enough and we need to find ways to improve ourselves. Indeed in Singapore, many advertisements shown on television, newspapers and magazines are often related to girls having a slim body. Many times, these advertisements are successful as it causes girls to feel imperfect and that they needed these slimming products and technology to achieve the ideal body shape. Often in Singapore, diamonds are also often advertised as and are quoted to be "woman's best friend" and something that every couple should have as it signifies love.

Pls do the changes as discussed during class.

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Intro:

The passage has pointed out on numerous levels, the negative impacts of advertising. I agree to a large extent with the author. While it is true that many of the young individuals in society grow up to be more discerning of what is the true aim behind advertisements and filter out the pull factor of them succumbing to the agenda of the advertisement, some may just fall into the trap for good. Hereby, it is important that we must not be oblivious to the negative effects of advertising.

Body Para 1:

The author has made some valid arguments on the developing trend of materialism among the Amercians. This can be observed in my society, Singapore as well, but to a smaller extent. The advertisers uses manipulative tactics to win the hearts and minds of the consumer, tapping on their insecurities subconsciously to make them want to own the product advertised. These advertisements, more often than not, depicts rich and successful people using the product. So you see, these purchases are like rich man's toy, and not necessarily what an average income-earner could afford. However, with advertisements consistently selling the idea that owning such products could make us high and mighty, average civilians would be drawn to these advertisers' gimmicks and eventually buy the product. Many of us do not wish to admit that these advertisements are manipulative because we like to think that we're in control of our choices, but they do. Take the show Friends, for example. Rachel and Monica shared a luxurious apartment in Manhanttan although they are only working as a waitress and a chef respectively for a short period of time. This are one of the many examples you find that the characters in the television are living outside their means although they are drawing a meagre salary. The showbiz often portray that average people can too, lead a better lifestyle, without subjecting to monetary constraint.

Body Para 2:

That being said, the writer is also reasonable in suggesting that advertising has caused the consumers market to be tainted. Choices are made for us and are reduced to certain brand names. Netizens trying to keep up with these status symbols would be striving to fill an image projected in mdia advertising. Our self-worth would have been distorted by the media as we are slowly and subtly caught up in the trends of consumerism, slowly eroding our individuality. Sometimes, what advertisers claim are nothing more than deceits, that is too good to be true. Let me give you an example: The Federal Trade Commission advertised a posterior-shaping shoe that ended up getting busted, resulting in an exorbitant amount of money spent on settlement with the clients they cooperated with to push their brand.

Pls do the necessary changes as discussed in class.

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Intro:

The passage discusses how advertisements are corrupting our lives, our society, our moral values and our culture. I totally agree with the passage's point of how advertisements have ruined and corrupted us in many ways.

Rem that you need to show balance so you cannot totally agree with it.

Body Para 1:

It is undeniable that we come in contact with advertisements in our daily life. Advertisements exist in so many different forms. In recent times, it is nearly impossible to completely block off advertisements in our life. I believe that the allowance of advertisements in our daily lives contributes to the growing impact advertisements in our lives. We can find advertisements in the newspapers, on the televisions, on the radios and even on our phone applications. Profit-maximizing companies are allowing advertisements to be found everywhere. As compared to the past, advertising companies can easily publish the advertisements and this lead to a downgrading in the advertisements and spreading the wrong messages.

You have not engaged any point from the author and no SG issue is raised so you have not fulfilled the requirement at all.

Body Para 2:

The author also highlights a very significant point about how we should protect ourselves and the future generations from being corrupted by these advertisements. Often times, the mass media are highly unaware of their audience. Young kids who have access to the remote control can easily, out of curiosity, switch to adults channel and come in contact with the advertisements that contains the wrong message. Young kids may be still too young to tell the difference between what's right from the wrongs in an advertisements. The failure to protect them from mature contents, that are meant for adults, when they are young may have a long term negative impact on these young innocent kids. It will be a lot harder to correct the wrong mindset when they grow up.

Engaging the author is seen but relating the point to SG is lacking.

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Introduction:

I largely agree with the author regarding the negative effects of advertising in modern society because i feel that the author’s claim is applicable to Singaporean society today.
Balance is needed.

Body 1

In line 12, the writer points out that advertising is propagandistic in American society. The author is right in pointing out that the public has been mindlessly believe in consumerism and materialism. In my opinion, advertising does creates impulsive purchases regardless of people’s desire. When the commercial is sensationalised or exaggerated, one is more likely to lose his critical thinking and wise judgement. Singapore is no exception to the point the writer is making. To be specific, annually, Great Singapore sale has been attracting hundreds and thousands of shoppers from local and neighbouring countries such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and its loyal customer, China. As a result, a huge amount of wastage from the unnecessary purchases is inevitable. Thus this phenomenon demonstrates that advertising is a form of propaganda, which is harmful to society. -This is not clear as you have not shown how this is harmful. Sales are good because it contributes to the economy but unnecessary purchases as evidence is not a strong example as a negative effect.

Body 2
Furthermore, in line 33, the writer mentions that advertisers do not hesitate to take advantage of the insecurities and anxieties of young people. I concur with the author as  advertisements centre on sexuality will be particularly harmful to the youth as those pernicious materials simulates curiosity of the under age.  In fact, in Singapore, advertisements addressed to young people should contain nothing is likely to result in their physical, mental or moral harm. (This is very vague) This shows that the government recognised the influence of the misuse of advertisements as being destructive to the young generation.  In reference to the example, as a modern cosmopolitan society, Singapore faces the same challenges as those the writer suggests. Therefore, i support the writer’s contention that advertising can threaten the safety of the youth. (You engage the point but you have not explained clearly and relate it to a SG example/issue.

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Intro:

Advertising is prevalent in our modern society. The author has raised several issues of advertising and how it has impacted the society today. I do concede with the author that advertising has negatively affected my society. As girls in the society are frantically finding ways to lose weight to fit in. It has also made consumers in our society believe that acquiring material goods will satisfy our pursuit of happiness. However, there are also positive effects of advertisements such as discouraging viewers to not smoke.

Body para 1:

According to the author in paragraph 4, he discussed how advertisements have made use of the doubts (insecurities would be better) of consumers in our society to promote their product as a form of a solution. His observation can be seen in Singapore's Media. Local Television advertisements often show slimming products or slimming treatments which viewers can purchase or sign up for. London weight management and Mary Chia beauty and slimming specialists are examples of companies who advertise their slimming programmes on the television during the commercial breaks. Their advertisements are often endorsed by popular actresses with the ideal figure. These commercials will engage the audience by making them compare their own figure to the ideal figure shown to them. As such, many advertisers brainwash its audience into believing that their figure will not be accepted in the society. As they will be looked down upon if they do not do anything about it. (this can be explained clearer by using the words; ideals, beauty, perception etc.)

Body para 2:

The author believes that advertisement have brainwashed us into thinking that our pursuit fro happiness and a relaxed lifestyle can be achieved by purchasing material goods. (so this is negative effect right?) His opinion can be observed in Singapore's fast-paced lifestyle. In Singapore, a majority of its people work for long hours and have little leisure time. Advertisers make use of mediums such as the newspapers or the radio, to capture the attention of these people to promote their product. As most of the people have no time to watch the television. Osim often advertise their massage chairs via the newspapers to attract readers to consider purchasing the item as it is a way they can enjoy themselves after a tiring day at work. Similarly, King koil make use of the radio to broad cast their advertisement. By promoting their beds via this medium, they will be able to capture the attention of workers. If their good is bought, it will ensure that the consumer will have a guaranteed good sleep. These different ways of advertising will be able to capture the attention of workers in Singapore to purchase these products to ensure that they have enough rest and will in turn be happy and feel stress free. (But your examples do not show that having these items do not actually lead them to happiness but instead they should be more stressed. You argument should show that in working hard to achieve all these material success, they have become more stressed...)

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Intro:

It seems that advertising has become an increasingly popular and powerful tool which is usually used to manipulate and influence consumer minds for the sake of businesses. The author is absolutely right in arguing that advertising is actually harmful although it is seemingly just for promotions.

Balance needs to be shown.
Body 1: The passage mentions that, advertising teaches us to become superficial as people nowadays simply just accept things that advertisement advertises as truth. I agree with the author that this point is relevant in Singapore. Many of us are exposed to advertising from very young. The type of mentality it imposes on us will have a huge effect as we continue to grow and makes it even easier for us to believe in what they tell us even if it is false. Slim 10, a diet pill which was popular in 2001 was such case. It claimed to be only using natural extracts which was safe for use. However, there were several cases of uninformed consumers suffering from liver failure after using Slim 10.
This was your negative effect - advertising teaches us to become superficial - but your example just shows that people were hurt due to misleading ads. Pls rectify

Body 2: The passage also points out that advertising has the ability to impose new values and ideals on the modern society by using the weaknesses of youth especially to pressure them and can have long lasting effects. This judgement can be observed in Singapore's society. After 1971, Tobacco advertising was banned in Singapore as it was a prevalent problem among the adults. However, tobacco is still being widely used today even among the youths as it is deemed as 'cool' to smoke.

Not valid as you are saying that damage has already been done in the past - people are smoking today because the advertising done in the past has made people think that smoking is cool. Not true!

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Intro:

The use of advertising indeed is prevalent in our lives today and the author had highlighted many interesting effects of advertising which concern society today. After analyzing his words and comparing the effects to thosein my society, I am inclined to agree to a large extent with the author as those effects are not as largely seen in my society, as Singapore is still quite conservative and traditional despite the western influence.

Body Para 1:

The author discusses how our cultures are eroded by advertising, especially as it makes uses of teenagers' lack of confidence to offer 'solutions' in the form of products which focuses on sexuality and intimacy. These products, such as Gucci and Guess Perfumes which claimed to symbolize femininity or masculinity had affected gender roles to a huge extent as it stereotypes, in differing attitude, behavior and social statuses in such advertisements. As such, advertisements affect gender roles as they influence the way people perceive their own gender identity and perpetuate pre-conceived ideas about it.

In Singapore, especially where tradition is still thick in our blood, our local advertisments often have stereotypes about gender roles as slim and musculine models are often used. In Dove commercials, slim and petite Asian ladies are often used to symbolize femininity.

From these observations, gender roles are indeed as affected as the author makes it out to be. If this trend continues, more and more people will feel insecure when comparing to the ludicrous standards of beauty set by media.

Body Para 2:

In paragraph 3, line 29 to 30, the author raised the point that norms in society are caused from advertising. His point is highly convincing as according to experts, we learn gender traits through social learning; through observing others then modelling their behavior. This is existent in Singapore as jewellery frims like Lee Hwa Jewellery and Poh Keng Jewellery often stress the significance of owning diamonds in commercials, Singapore women often yearn for diamond much more than females from other side of the globe. Since all of us are exposed to advertising in a way or another (printed, televesion, radio), commercials are ingrained in our lives, making a subtle yet huge impact on our lives.

Pls edit according to what has been discussed in class.

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Intro:

This passage discusses the different effects and uses of advertisements in the United States' society. The writer presents how advertisements bring about various negative aspects to the community and can result in some undesirable consequences.

Missing your stand.

Body Para 1:

The writer believes that advertising degrades and erodes individual and community values and morals as they make use of insecurities of the society especially those of youths. I concur with the author in this point as it can be observed in Singapore's society. More and more teenagers are pressurized by their peers as they strive to gain status and pride among their friends by purchasing trendy items. These items help to represent their status and allow the youths to not feel left out. No relation to the issue of advertisements and lacking of details pertaining to SG context.

Body Para 2:

The writer discusses how advertising results in people being more materialistic and regard their possessions and items above anything else, also feeling that happiness and emotions can be controlled and manipulated by obtaining certain desires and items. I believe this is also existent in Singapore's society. In a 2011 study conducted by Singapore Management University (SMU) psychology professor, Norman Li, and published early this year, the professor noted that Singaporean women are ‘significantly’ more materialistic compared to their American counterpart. The result is SMU women polled an average of 3.98 on a score of 5, a significant 0.24 higher than their American counterparts. Not fulfilling requirement AGAIN as the issue of advertising in SG is addressed.

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INTRO:

According to the writer, negative effects of advertising have become a form of concern for the society today. The author is absolutely right in pointing that out as the effects of advertising has become so insidious to the point that it erodes individual as well as community values and standards to a certain extent. Even though the context of this passage is set in the United States, I find that it is applicable to my society's context as well.

No balance shown.

BODY #1:

The author mentions how advertising teaches us to value material possessions above all else, to feel that happiness can be bought, to believe in instant solutions to complex problems, and to turn to products for fulfilment of our deepest human needs. As a modern cosmopolitan society, Singapore faces the same challenges as those the writer suggests. Materialism has come to dominate many live, spawning an unacceptable level of greed, arrogance and selfishness. this extreme pursuit is contributing to a decline in collective morality, even as people become more educated and globalised. As studies shown, that the younger generation, are becoming more and more self-centered. This can be seen in how they only care about themselves, they seem to indulge in self-pity all the time. But is this the result of advertising??

BODY#2:

The author also points out that the advertisers do not hesitate to take advantage of the insecurities and anxieties of young people. Youth are more influenced by advertising messages than adults are. Media marketing has taken a negative toll on many aspects of adolescent lives. It is entwined with entertainment, fashion, and music, making it almost impossible to differentiate reality from fantasy. Teen-age girls who viewed commercials depicting women who modeled the unrealistically thin-ideal type of beauty caused adolescent girls to feel less confident, angrier, and more dissatisfied with their weight and appearance . As studies shown that Singaporeans have relatively low confidence level as compared to their American counterparts, the advertisers that will view of this as an advantage as they can advertise their products better at the expanse of the insecurities and anxieties of the younger Singaporeans.

You need to address the elements of SG society that the advertisers do not hesitate to take advantage of the insecurities and anxieties of young people.'

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Intro:

The main purpose of advertising is to increase the revenue of producers and earn higher profit. Nevertheless, advertisers will try their best to sell their product by attracting the attention of consumers, especially the young who are easily influenced. They will make use of value-images and concepts that are attractive to the young which can be a bad influence. Hence, I support the author's contention in the passage that there are many negative effects of advertising which are of concern to society today.

Body Para 1:

Firstly, advertising provides negative impact to the society today because the products may lead to addiction. There are truth in the writer's statement that the advertisers do not hesitate to take advantage of the insecurities and anxieties of young people, usually in the guise of offering solutions. While my generation lives in a judgmental society and they are reminded of their insecurities everyday, I concur that advertising serves a bad influence to the young as they tend to receive solutions which are the most convenient to them. This is because they need the solutions as soon as possible, thus following the foot steps of the advertisement. Therefore, they will begin to purchase cigarettes which were advertised as a symbol of independence. Eventually, they will get addicted and their school work might be affected which leads to bad grades.

Body Para 2:

Secondly, advertising is bad because it sets up an expectation to the consumers. The writer is true when he wrote that the advertisers sell values-images and concepts of success and worth. While my generation thirst for perfection, I believe that advertising will lead to negative impacts as consumers, especially the young, will purchase the product and expect the same results as advertised in the television. If they do not get the same results as shown in the television, they would try their best by hook or by crook. For example, if they purchase a slimming product which is expected to be effective after two months, they would starve themselves and this may affect their daily progress. It may also lead to depression as they got too disappointed due to the expectations made by the advertisement.

You need to discuss the specifics to SG context for both points.

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Intro: I do agree with the negative effects stated by the author on advertising, which are of concern to the society today. In my society, we do have a lot of advertising, especially on television and newspapers, which gives them easy access to provide us with unrealistic expectations on certain things, like, beauty, gender roles and stereotypes. These will lead to harmful outcomes on our society, especially on young children and teenagers who are impressionable. However, the author had failed to mention positive effects that could also be found in advertising.

Balance is needed.

Body 1:

the author discusses how advertisements play an important role in shaping cultural attitudes and values, instead of simply reflecting them. This judgement can be observed in Singapore's media. Local channels often feature advertisements that promote a certain kind of beauty standard, for example, that being skinny looking is everything. Another example is that hair on women's body is disgusting and unfeminine, that women should not have any body hair at all. these are commonly seen in advertisements placed by Jean Yip, London Weight management and other similar companies which takes advantage of Singaporeans' insecurities to shape our culture. Also, advertisements make use of sexuality and intimacy to market their products which could be seen in Magnum Ice-cream commercials and Boss Perfume commercials. This will lead to negative consequences like we are taught to sexualize the human body instead of learning to respect it. For example, according to the American Psychological Association, sexualization occurs when “individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness.”- Need to discuss more on this.

Body 2:

The author also discusses how advertisements creates a kind of national peer pressure that erodes individual as well as community values and standard. This is rampant in our media . On television - Social media is not TV, through advertisements, we are shown that we have to dress a certain way, act a certain way or eat certain things to be desirable and in trend. This could be seen in advertisements by Heineken, where good looking people who dress really nicely are used in the advertisements and this will make us think that we would have to look like them to be as cool as them.

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The author is right in pointing out the negative effects of advertising which are of concern to the modern society today. Indeed, the negative effects mentioned in the passage are relevant to the society in Singapore, but there are some positive effects to advertising as well.
Balance is needed.
First and foremost, the passage discusses how advertising is used as propaganda to the society’s audience. I agree with this judgement as it is reflected in Singapore. Local advertisements and commercials always contain a hidden meaning behind ever y action. For instance, Starhub launched Project Family Time to reach out to working parents to spend more time with their children by watching their channels at home. To do this, commercials of parents neglecting their children for work were aired on many channels. These commercials deceive consumers into thinking that Starhub actually understands the difficulty for them to achieve a work-life balance. In reality, Starhub wants to gain their attention and deceive them so they will buy their products. Although there is some element of truth in the objective of Project Family Time, the main aim for them to launch this project is to trick consumers so that they can use their products as a method to get closer to their family. Therefore, I believe that advertising is used as propaganda a tool to attract the audience’s attention into buying their products.

Ok but im just worried that propaganda is a loaded word that has too many interpretations

Secondly, the passage mentions that advertisements pressurise the younger generation that erodes an individual’s beliefs and moral values. Local advertisements tend to over-emphasise on materialism. This is evident in television shows which advertise technological gadgets indirectly, such as the main character using a Samsung Galaxy S4 to save a girl, or a group of cool students having the same hairstyle. These actions imply that in order to be recognised by others, one has to own such gadgets or look a certain way. It indirectly over-emphasises on materialism, causing the younger generation to fall into these temptations and purchase these products. As such, parents and teachers play a role to educate the younger generation so that they stay rooted to what they truly believe in.

That being said, there are other factors that erodes the younger generation’s beliefs and moral values. The national obsession with the pursuit of success and happiness is a factor that causes young people to forget their beliefs such as staying true to who they are and not being affected by others.

For this point to valid, it is better to focus on specific negative values first such as over-emphasis on materialism rather than just listing down brands of products. However, the challenge here is to show the link of advertising in SG that results directly to this negative effect. You can argue that it is partly one factor but there are other factors such as the national obsession with success and association of success with money or material goods....

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Intro:

Advertising today, has made its way onto many platforms. They are large-scale and widespread. Advertisements are much more prevalent in developed countries as compared to less developed countries. This is due to the fact that people in developed countries are more financially affluent and hence have greater access to more avenues of advertising. (You need to explain the author's overall point rather than just doing a generic intro to advertising-different from P1 k, Jean)I agree with the author that there are many negative effects of advertising that are of concern to society today. Due to both social and economic reasons. (Balance needs to be shown)

Body #1:

In lines 12-16, the author stated that advertising encourages people to seek comfort in material goods as well as to convince consumers that material goods are essential. The author’s judgement is well exemplified in the fashion industry. Fashion houses and brands often come up with quotes and slogans relaying messages on the importance of owning their products. These slogans or quotes also help make shoppers feel better about themselves when they make an unnecessary purchase. This is illustrated by footwear brand, Rubi’s quote: “Shoes make me happy. I’m superficial. Whatever.”. Karl Lagerfeld , the head designer and creative director of luxury brand, Chanel also said : “We need houses as we need clothes, architecture stimulates fashion. It’s like hunger and thirst – you need them both.”.  In my opinion, corporations employ such strategies with merely one key goal in mind – profit maximization. Such slogans and quote egg consumers into making a purchase and aid in justifying the buy. Potential customers, as a result, seek comfort in these quotes, thinking that they now have a “valid” excuse to buy a product and at the same time, feel less guilty.  While these may only be strategies to earn more revenue, it may result in people placing too much emphasis on material good and comfort and end up losing sight of what is important, or fail to plan their finances well for future purposes.

Good point but.....you need to relate it to the SG context. If you don't then you are not fulfilling the requirement.

Body #2:

The writer believes that advertisements mirror our society. I strongly agree with the author that “Advertising is partially a reflection of the culture that created it.” Advertisements are very costly , especially those aired during peak periods due to high viewership.  For instance, during the “Super Bowl XLVI” in 2012, each 30-second commercial aired during that period will cost $3.5 million , on average. As a result of the high cost, advertisers are compelled to appeal to the masses in the shortest possible time period. Much of what the writer says is related to our society today. This is illustrated in Engadget, famously called out Sony’s multi-vignette PSP campaign in 2006 as being clearly racist. The ads were promoting the new ceramic white PSP. The ads featured an aggressive, strong-looking white woman clawing, clutching and otherwise dominating a subordinate black woman. This can appeal to audiences as a stereotype exists that the whites are always better than the blacks and audiences may find this amusing or offensive, thereby leaving a lasting impression , which is the aim of  advertisers. On the corporation level, the company may earn profits, but on a societal level, it may promote the wrong values to audiences.
Same point as above....you need to discuss ONLY SG issues!! :(

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Advertisements have always been part of our lives. in singapore we see different types of adds which can benefit the society and harm it at the same time. Some advertisements teaches us moral values especially the ones that are supported by the government. However some advertisements do the opposite and cause the society to be disturbed. Base on passage A, I agree to a large extend with the author that advertisements do bring more harm than good.

para 1

in paragraph 2 line 20 and 21 it states that " although individual ads are often stupid, their cumulative impacts are serious" This is extremely true as advertisements today mostly uses the same method to attract attention. for example advertisements produce by Lv and Gucci consist of "sex" which hopes to gain more consumers. by having so many same format of advertisements, the society will be affected. Many might get uncomfortable seeing these images. while some might hope to gain the same body like the models. This cause the society to be disturbed. as seen in singapore my young teenagers especially females go on diet to keep a good figure. This has cause many to be underweight. some might get so pressurised that they need to see counsellors to help them from being anorexic. With these cases in a rise, the society will surely be badly affected .

para2

line 35 states that"advertisements taps on people insecurity to sell their product" which is extremely true in the singapore society. for example the london management add showed how obese people's life is . having an imperfect body will not only make you unhappy but the people around you too. this caused many people especially women to be insecure which attract them to these programmes. Besides that, when we see a perfect model wearing perfect clothes we get inspire and hope to look the same. thus we will spend our money buying the same clothes which might be expensive and this is all because of the advertisement that cause our minds to sway to that direction. Seeing our peers wearing the latest brands can cause peer pressure as not everybody can afford it. as a result our society might be affected as our mindset is not in the correct direction. instead of achieving good results we are comparing who wears better brands of clothes and advertisements should be blamed for this.

There must be a discussion about Singapore issues!!!

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Intro:

The author demonstrates that advertising
poses a great harm to society these days through means of materialism and
constant reminders of the latest goods in the market and conclude how these are
taken to be the most important issue. I agree with the author’s justification
on the issue and believe that the dire effects of advertising are something the
society should worry about.

Body 1:

The author mentions that one of
the negative effects of advertising is instilling the value of materialism into
people. People are made to believe they are defined by the goods they have and
that joy can be derived from making purchases. I believe this is an accurate
representation of the society in Singapore. Many people nowadays can be seen
with branded goods. While the quality might only differ slightly from normal
goods, the brand tags themselves are what they are showing to the world. Many
prefer to purchase luxury goods in hopes of getting acknowledge by the people around
them. Singaporeans should have no difficulty in identifying with the writer’s
stand as they do immerse themselves in brands. Shoes can be one example. There
is great importance is buying good quality shoes as the welfare of the feet is
greatly valued. However, going to the extent of purchasing a pair of shoes for
over a hundred dollars seem incomprehensible. (actually this is a norm as shoes can cost arounf tt price). Consumers who participate in the
splurge are only concerned with the brand and not really the quality.( Big assumption) This is a
major concern, especially for the youths as learning the wrong value at this
age will lead into something disastrous in the future.

Body 2:
The author also believes that
pressure to possess items (this is a similar point to the earlier para of materialism and commercialism) is a situation that is happening. This kind of
behaviour imparts on the values of the individual and causes him to reset their
standards on certain things. He is reasonable in suggesting the view as this
can be seen in the context of Singapore. Peer pressure is one of the driving forces
behind youths and their obsession with having many goods. They are scrutinised
in school daily for what they bring or wear that they feel a need to prove to
their schoolmates they are not who they are perceived to be. The frequent display
of new things confirms the view that there is pressure to conform to the trend.
This is especially so in Singapore, where being an Asian country, people are
judged based on what they have. (this is not a typical assessment of an Asian country,)

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Intro:

The use of advertisement is prevalent in the lives of many people though the medium of mass media. The author argues that advertising has many negative effects and are a concern to society. Although the author's point of view is quite valid, i do not entirely support it, as media in my society is regulated well by the government.

So if it is well-regulated, what does it mean? You need to say that it is well-regulated which results in.....

Body Para 1:

Firstly, the author mentioned that advertisements are a form of propaganda which teaches consumers to value material possessions above all else. However, in my society, from what i can see, most advertisements come in the form of a dissuasion. It teaches us to value our health and welfare instead of anything. It is commonly seen in my society that these advertisements, usually anti-smoking advertisements or anti-gambling advertisement, are all around the neighbourhood. This is to persuade others not to smoke or gamble as they can harm anyone and the anyone else indirectly.

Good point but can elaborate more on it. Should put it as an R in an OVR.

Body Para 2:

Secondly, the author also mentioned that advertisement campaigns often interrupt the news and has already become the news is a total misnomer in my society. People in my society are often cooped up with work and the stress by the living standards in Singapore (not a logical reason to show disagreement), people usually read the news via the newspaper or the internet, where advertisements do not usually appear. (not true) Thus, such a interference may not affect the people in my society as much as it is in the United States

Need to change Para 2.

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Introduction

The use of mass media to advertise is prevalent in this 21st century. The author argues for the negative impacts that advertising has caused to our current society. While mass media can be a positive force for bringing people together to help each other during difficult times, I agree with the author that many young people today are negatively affected by mass media.

Body paragraph 1

With reference to line 12-15, the author raised the point that advertisements has influenced us to place material possessions as our highest priority and using it as immediate solutions to our problems. In my opinion, I believe it is easy for Singaporeans to relate to the writer's point of view. Many Singaporeans tend to use retail therapy as a way to escape from their problems and their hectic life. for example, in the case of ladies, when they are feeling down, they will go on a shopping spree and buy lots of apparels. It is their way of escaping from reality. Research has shown that there is an increase in retail therapy index at current prices in the last few years, from 67.9 in 2002 to 110.7 in 2012. Although it is a good that they have found a way to release their inner emotions, however, in light of the present situation, a likely consequences is that all Singaporeans will become self-denial to their situation and will turn to retail therapy to make them feel happy, which will in turn cause them to be afraid to face their problems.

Last point/sentence is ok but can be clearer and given specific details.

Body paragraph 2

From line 33-35, the writer mentions that advertisements have the capability to establish a type of peer influence that destroy individual as well as society morals and belief. I feel that the youths of Singapore face such moral dilemmas. Beauty advertisements in Singapore usually portray young and slim celebrities. It gives the viewers the impression that they can only be pretty or handsome if they are slim. For example, 2 years ago, slimming center London Weight Management's television advertisement exploited the fears of insecure female consumers by perpetuating the pernicious view that a woman's worth hinges on her looks and that men are incapable of looking beyond appearances when interacting with their female partners. This has therefore created misleading and damaging messages about health, body image and self-esteem. Considering the current situation in Singapore, a future scenario that can be projected is that Singaporeans will judge one another based on their physical appearance and more people will also suffer from eating disorders because they want to be slim and get accepted by the society.

Need to be more accurate but if you do the changes, the AQ is good.

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Intro:To a large extent, i agree on with the author on the negative impacts advertisements have on people in today's modern world. It has a strong influence on nearly every decision we make as a consumer.

Need to show balance....

Body Para1: I agree with the statements made in passage 1, paragraph2 (this is not how we refer to the author's point - just paraphrase it) which raises the point that advertisements has influenced our way of life in terms of the way we deal with our daily problems, right down to the way we see ourselves. (is this really what he meant?) This judgement can be seen in the way Singaporeans are always thriving to be up to date with the latest gadgets just so they can fit in with the masses in their society. This shows how Singaporeans view their self-worth. This is was demonstrated when smartphones became mainstream in the hand phone industry. Smartphones is a "must have" item among Singaporeans so that they do not feel left out or old fashioned among their peers..How is this related to author's point?

Body para2: I agree to a large extent to what Paragraph 4 highlights on how advertisement companies makes use of young impressionable teenagers to their advantage. This can be seen in Singapore where teenagers idea of a good time is to drink alcohol in pubs or clubs. This ideology derives from ads of alcoholic drinks.(Not specific enough. What ads?) However i disagree to a small extent that ads lead to teenagers picking up smoking as a solution to their problems as they go through their period of adolescence. In Singapore, despite banning smoking ads through media, many teenagers still turn towards smoking as a soltuion to get away from their problems (Need to say that this is not a negative effect due to advertising because.....)

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The author discusses how advertising has brought about negative effects, with regards to society today. His judgement can be analyzed with Singapore's advertisements in our local TV channels. Although I am strongly supportive of the author's statement in line 50, I disagree to his opinion in line 35.

Body Para 1:

In line 35, there is some truth to the author's claims that advertising encourages youths to smoke as there are many countries who still allow tobacco advertising such as Spain and Germany.The author in this case, did make some valid statements to it as youths, being young and impressionable, are easily influenced by such advertisements. However, serious doubts can be raised against blaming the advertisements for cigarette consumerism, in Singapore's society, as there are other factors such as peer pressure and stress. Thus, I do not agree to the view of the author that advertising leads to negative impacts in our society. An example can be seen from a news report by Health Promotion Board, stating that majority of the teens smokers in Singapore is attributed by factors like peer pressure and misconception of being 'cool'. Moreover, Singapore's HPB has consistently over the years produces outstanding advertising campaigns to raise awareness in its citizens, such as frightening smokers to quit smoking. In fact, they have created an effective antismoking advertisement that moved the message from anti smoking to pro quitting. As Singapore is an Asian country , the writer's views may be in conflict with our Asian values.Instead of encouraging youths to smoke, Singapore's anti smoking advertisements mend ways for many of the smokers.

Body Para 2:

In line 50, I feel that the author is absolutely right in pointing out that advertising causes sex stereotyping. The accuracy of his statement is demonstrated by the advertisements in Singapore , which truly challenge the pre-existing gender roles. A recent Singapore Macdonald's advertisement on Chinese New Year. It specifically mentioned that the woman's daughter has to juggle her job and to look after her family. In contrast, the men are shown to be sitting at a table during dinner, playing only inconsequential background roles. These commercials powerfully reflect social expectations with regards to the segregation of gender roles. Thus, the issue raised in this sentence have relevance to Singapore. With that may merely a strategy to gain viewership and consumerism, it may result in a society that associates desirable traits between the different sex over extended periods of time.

Good but do take note about the point about the talking about a point rather than example.

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Intro :

In paragraphs 2 and 4, the author highlights some negative effects of advertising, which includes teaching us to value material possessions above everything else, as well as eroding individual and community values and standards. I agree with the author to a large extent as the negative effects of advertising are prevalent in my life and society.

Body paragraph 1:

In paragraph 2, Sullivan discusses how advertising has made consumers like us become more materialistic. Advertising has also brainwashed us into thinking that happiness can be bought with money. In my opinion, it is true to a small extent that buying things that we need makes us feel contented, however, this happiness is often short-lived as there are unlimited desires to own other goods. Advertisements in magazines like ELLE or Seventeen affects me, by creating desires in things which I do not necessarily need, such as branded apparels or perfumes. Additionally, the models featured in advertisements are often very attractive, promoting concepts of success and worth, making readers like me want to look like them. Advertisements make us more materialistic as they associate many products with a status symbol, making consumers buy them in order to feel superior.

There are no specific SG issues or examples.

Body paragraph 2:

In paragraph 4, Sullivan also talks about how advertising erodes moral values of an individual and the society. Advertisements that feature slim women often influence the young youths like teenage girls due to constant media bombardment of model images on television or magazines. I believe that will result in more individuals not accepting themselves for having a non ideal body type, which they think is unattractive. In 2011, I went to Seoul's subway station and noticed constant advertising of plastic surgery clinics on the TV screens. Advertisements like this are so accessible to everyone, and people would be easily influenced to go for plastic surgery. In this case, erosion of values is that less people will embrace their natural beauty. Singapore is no exception to the point the writer is making. Well known established brands like Converse, Nike and Adidas often feature popular sportsman or sportswoman like Roger Federer, associating them with superiority and success. Thus, many teenagers in Singapore splurge on branded sports shoes or back packs. Branding is important when it comes to having high social status.

Your point about SG does not deal with any issue of morality - only negative word is splurge so what is the morality issue there?

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Intro:

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Body Para 1:

Type your first para here.

Body Para 2:

Type your second para here.