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im failing again. and no not with grades

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im failing again. and no not with grades

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I mean trying to still be the "happy and horny friend". I know that a lot of people here were there for the last GSA. and I'm not gonna lie that has to be the worst day of my entire time here. at first, everything was fine I just got done basically dying of laughter with Echo I was listening to my really upbeat song called "cult of Dionysus" but something in me fucking shut down as soon as I entered the room and i went under the table soon after that someone (I'm not naming them for personal reasons) and they put a thumbs up as if to say if i was ok and i said i was. a couple more minutes later everyone was standing at the table I was under and just stood there. my claustrophobic ass got scared as fucking hell and almost. ALMOST started crying. I was already shaking a lot. I then tugged on sams shirt/dress and they looked at me and pulled me out from under the table. I then went behind them and hugged them trying the ground myself. what then pushed me overboard and made me start fucking having a full-on panic attack was the fact that sam had started walking away I started following them already crying and then when they turned around I fully hugged them and started hyperventilating. sam then took me under the table where I then calmed down after about 5 minutes. Star also came and helped me calm down. sam and Star then stayed there until i said it was ok to let go. I don't ever want to think about that. and I don't ever wanna relive that. and if you ever ask me why I only get touchy when I'm tired and want to fall asleep is because then I'm only thinking about sleeping and not thinking about the fact that I felt trapped by your arms. (not to offend my partners who have physical touch as their love language)

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we have been together for a while and now that they have two other signifigant others they broke up with me over email my day is jus goinng freaking amazingly

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i got called someones gay best friend today

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i got called someones gay best friend today

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i don't know why this bothers me so much but Eowyn today introduced me today by saying "and this is Finn! my gay best friend" and leaned on me. this bothers me so much and i would rather you not introduce me like that to your other friends. yes i may be more open about being gay than people i know. but that doesn't mean you just flat out say "HEY THIS IS MY MALE FRIEND WHO LIKES DICK." it feels so wrong if you think your going to do that just let me introduce myself. or just say "hello *friends name* this is Finn i thought i might introduce you to him. i feel you might get along with him" that would make me very happy. please don't say in the same sentence of saying my name that i'm gay. i would rather say that myself when i'm comfortable. :)

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I know that isn't as bad as the others and I am not trying to invalidate anybody elses suffering but i still feel like this belongs here.
(If requested I will take this down)

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i'm not always fine..and i've learned to hide it..

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i'm not always fine..and i've learned to hide it..

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as much as i say its ok, some things you guys do really aren't.. i'm slowly getting more and more fed up. only thing keeping me here is a promise..

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i made this btw
words do kinda hurt i think ome people can relate

ive gone through bullying in my past and it broke me i love you guys but you gotta think abt what you are going to say because it hurts sometimes