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What are some long-term effects of childhood abuse on mental health and relationships in adulthood?

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The Way I Used to Be, is about a young girl named Eden, who is raped by her older brother's best friend. The book is split into four different parts corresponding with her years in high school: freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year. Smith examines what it is to be sexually abused, how the feelings that accompany it affect one's ideas and actions, how it affects relationships in general rather than just romantic ones, and how it's pretty simple to allow abuse to become the central theme of one's life. This book emphasizes the consequences and how damaging sexual assault can be long after it actually takes place

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Answering TeensTough Questions: a YALSA Guide

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Answering TeensTough Questions: a YALSA Guide

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Chapters in this book include abuse, dating violence and abuse, sexual violence, and more. "Answering Teens’ Tough Questions is a tool that will help librarians prepare for one of the potentially challenging aspects of their jobs. This book is recommended for group study or individual use and as a professional development resource to help librarians learn to effectively answer the tough questions our teens have every day" (Hunt, 2013)

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Teen Sexual Assault: Information for Teens

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Teen Sexual Assault: Information for Teens

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This article talks about teen sexual assault, and it defines teen sexual assault, why it happens, who experiences it, how common it is, what you should do if you experience sexual violence, and so much more helpful information and resources. It gives students clarity on what common questions are that apply to them and answers.

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Since child sexual abuse is frequently unreported, it is challenging to estimate its incidence. It's important to talk about the history of abuse, how often it happens, and the research on child sexual abuse.

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Through Our Eyes: Children, Violence, and Trauma—Introduction (Minutes 4:00 and up)

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Through Our Eyes: Children, Violence, and Trauma—Introduction (Minutes 4:00 and up)

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This video talks about child sexual abuse experiences and the emotions behind these kids who went through these traumatic experiences. It talks about where child sexual abuse happens and who it can involve; it talks about potential future emotional and behavioral problems.

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Through Our Eyes: Children, Violence, and Trauma—Introduction

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A method that can be used in the classroom to invite students to explore the content of young adult sexual violence and sexual abuse is the PMI charts. Using the PMI tool, students are encouraged to think more broadly and approach the subject from several angles. Reading The Way I Used To Be, they can apply this learning tool to connect to the novel. This is also an effective teaching technique since it helps students develop empathy with the memoir's character while acknowledging how their lives may differ significantly from one another

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When you hear the term "violence," what immediately comes to mind?

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It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover. This book is about a girl named Lily who meets a guy named Ryle and begins a relationship. They get married and have a child together; as their marriage progresses, Lily realizes very away that being mistreated by someone she loves is far more difficult than she ever thought when Ryle pushes her for the first time. Ryle's first red flags, like his controlling behavior, start to show. Lily surprises herself by committing to the one thing she had always vowed not to do: continue with a man who had beaten her. Then, shortly follows, anger and emotional instability. Lily tries and decides to leave Ryle and wants to restart her life of healing. She reconnects with her first love, and their connection is restored; they fall in love and start their lives together happy and healthy in a relationship.

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This website describes types and signs of abuse. I focused on physical, so we would mainly focus on that; it describes different signs of physical abuse, along with signs of every other type of abuse.

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What are some indicators that a relationship is toxic, not healthy or violent?

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Raising Teens: Abuse of Teens: First Do No Harm

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Raising Teens: Abuse of Teens: First Do No Harm

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This website talks about the consequences of physical abuse, and its being linked to mental and physical problems like mental disorders, poor school performance, substance abuse, suicide and more. Physical abuse and neglect is common in the US, higher in young children. Related at the bottom of this website are more statistics.

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The bottom-line message that emerges from research on adolescent development and parenting is that teenagers are vulnerable. Their boldness and bravado mask an inexperience in solving problems and coping with stress that is often no match for the unsupervised, risk-laden environments in which they live.

In the United States, teens have rates of abuse and neglect that are as high as or higher than those of young children-much of it at the hands of family members.

● Nearly 25% of reported child maltreatment in the United States involves victims who are 12 to 17 years old.

● About one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused by age 18.

● Thousands of U.S. teens and preteens become victims of sex trafficking as runaways, through abduction, or even via coercion by parents.

Worldwide, risks for teens are equally grave.

● An estimated 150 million girls and 73 million boys under the age of 18 have experienced forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence.

● Over one million children are victims of sex trafficking, and 218 million are involved in child labor, most in hazardous work.

Physical abuse of adolescents is linked to mental disorders, poor school performance, substance abuse, suicide, and aggression. Sexual abuse is linked to depression, eating disorders, sexual dysfunction, and early pregnancy, as well as to increased risk of further sexual abuse and abduction into sex trafficking.

Adolescents are also frequently subjected to psychological harm by parents who are excessively critical or manipulative-a danger highlighted in a 2007 report by the World Health Organization.

In all cases, the consequences of abuse are profound-threatening the strength of our workforce, the cohesion of our families, and the quality of our social fabric.

HOW TO HELP

If you are worried that a teen may be a victim of abuse, take action. These resources can help you decide what to do:

Warning Signs That Teens May Be Victims of Abuse: The Children's Hospital Boston Child Protection Team website includes signs of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in children and teens.

How to Report Suspected Abuse: The Child Welfare Information Gateway at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services website includes links to each state's hotline.

Resources for Teens Who Are Being Abused: Special section of the Children's Hospital Boston Child Protection Team website.

Trafficking of Children in the United States: U.S. Department of Education site includes a fact sheet on trafficking, how to identify a victim, and how to report a crime.

Internet Abuse: The NetSmartz Workshop website (a program of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children) includes tips on how to recognize and avoid dangers on the Internet.

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The bottom-line message that emerges from research on adolescent development and parenting is that teenagers are vulnerable. Their boldness and bravado mask an inexperience in solving problems and coping with stress that is often no match for the unsupervised, risk-laden environments in which they live.

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A video that I wanted to focus on was this one, which highlights the signs. ABC is the key point in this video, meaning appearance, behavior, and communication.

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Dreamland is about a young girl named Caitlin who is coping with her sister's disappearance; in reaction, she jumps into a relationship with a guy named Rogerson. He is abusive towards her, and she falls into his entrapment of drugs, drinking, and physical abuse. She loses herself in the relationship, and Caitlyn later leaves the toxic relationship with her family's help and begins her journey of healing. Dessen really emphasizees the

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Prevalence of Physical Teen Dating Violence

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Prevalence of Physical Teen Dating Violence

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I wanted to highlight the physical violence excerpt and important resources at the bottom. Rates of physical dating violence in young adults have been ranging from 9-57%. There is an increase in just reported instances of physical and sexual partner violence.

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The reported incidence of teen dating violence varies significantly across studies, yet even with variation the known prevalence rates establish it as a serious problem in the United States. The different rates of prevalence may be a result of differences in the methodology, the definitions, and/or in the targeted population used in the studies. Some definitions of teen dating violence include incidences of all three types of relationship violence (physical, sexual, and emotional or psychological violence), while others focus on just one or two of those types of violence. Further, youth may be afraid to disclose violence to friends and family. According to one study, only a third of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse they experienced.

The 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), a national survey of intimate partner violence and sexual violence, collected reports of lifetime intimate partner violence from a random sample of women and men 18 and older. Figure 1 shows the age that women first reported experiencing intimate partner violence, for those women who had reported sexual violence including rape, physical violence, psychological violence, or stalking in their lifetime. Of these women, 69.5 percent reported experiencing intimate partner violence for the first time under the age of 24.
Figure 1. Age at First Experience of Intimate Partner Violence for Women Note: Intimate Partner Violence includes any form of physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, psychological aggression, and control of reproductive or sexual health. Respondents represent only those who reported experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
Figure 2 provides a similar graph for men who reported experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime. The survey indicated that, of those men, more than half had their first experience prior to age 24.
Figure 2. Age at First Experience of Intimate Partner Violence for Men Note: Intimate partner violence includes any form of physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, psychological aggression, and control of reproductive or sexual health. Respondents represent only those who reported experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime.

Rates of physical dating violence for youth have been found to range from 9 percent to 57 percent.

Nationally, according to the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System data, about ten percent of students report having been physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past 12 months. Across state-specific surveys the prevalence rates range from 7.4 percent to 17.8 percent with a median of 11.1 percent, and for local surveys the rates ranged from 8.0 percent to 18.5 percent with a median of 12.0 percent.

Figure 3 shows the increase in reported instances of physical and sexual partner violence from adolescence to young adulthood, as well as the persistence of violence for some youth.

Figure 3. Percent of Responders Reporting Physical and Sexual Partner Violence Victimization in Three Waves of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health

Rates of emotional and psychological abuse are far higher than physical violence for youth. Studies have found that as many as 76 percent of teens report emotional and psychological abuse during relationships.

According to analysis of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, between 20 and 30 percent of youth reported being verbally or psychologically abused in the previous year. Specifically, 16 percent of youth age 12 to 21 have been insulted; 23 percent have been sworn at, and 4 percent have been threatened by a partner.

There is currently no nationally representative data on sexual dating violence specifically for youth. Smaller scale studies or studies focused on specific populations suggest that the rates of sexual violence tend to be lower than physical or psychological violence. Findings suggest that the prevalence of sexual violence ranges from 3 percent to 11 percent.

Recent research has found an overlap in reports of partner violence, pregnancy coercion, and birth control sabotage for young women. In addition they found links between these behaviors and unplanned pregnancies. Learn more about the relationship of gender and teen dating violence.

Resources

Youth Risk Behavior Survey 2007 - 2017
This data summary and trend report, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Division of Adolescent and School Health, has a section on violence victimization including information on trends related to dating violence among youth between the years 2007 to 2017.

The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS)
The CDC's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) is an ongoing, nationally-representative telephone survey that collects detailed information on sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence victimization of adult women and men in the United States. The survey collects data on past-year experiences of violence as well as lifetime experiences of violence. The survey is also supported by the National Institute of Justice and the Department of Defense. A full report (PDF, 124 pages), summary in English (PDF, 8 pages) and Spanish (PDF, 8 pages), fact sheet (PDF, 2 pages), and a toolkit (PDF, 56 pages).

References

¹ Offenhauer & Buchalter, 2011
² Teenage Research Unlimited for Liz Claiborne Inc., 2005
³ Black et al., 2011
⁴ Black et al., 2011
⁵ O'Keefe, 2005
⁶ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 2010
⁷ CDC, 2010
⁸ Halpern, Spriggs, Martin, & Kupper, 2009
⁹ Offenhauer & Buchalter, 2011
¹⁰ Arriaga & Foshee, 2004
¹¹ Halpern et al., 2001
¹² Offenhauer & Buchalter, 2011
¹³ Miller et al., 2011

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The reported incidence of teen dating violence varies significantly across studies, yet even with variation the known prevalence rates establish it as a serious problem in the United States. The different rates of prevalence may be a result of differences in the methodology, the definitions, and/or in the targeted population used in the studies.

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Supporting young people in abusive relationships

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Supporting young people in abusive relationships

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We've learned from talking to young people and the professionals who support them that they experience and react to domestic violence differently than adults, necessitating a different kind of response. This short film is beneficial for those who need resources that will help better support young adults who experience or witness domestic abuse.

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After speaking to young people, and the professionals who support them, we know that the ways young people experience and respond to domestic abuse are different to adults and, therefore, require a different response.

Please take a look at this short film about young people and domestic abuse. We've also linked here to some resources that can help you better support young people experiencing domestic abuse.

Over the next six weeks we'll be looking in more detail at the experiences of young people, and highlighting resources that can help you to support them.

Relevant Resources
Keep an eye on our Spotlight page for more information and practice guidance over the coming weeks.

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Supporting young people in abusive relationships

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After speaking to young people, and the professionals who support them, we know that the ways young people experience and respond to domestic abuse are different to adults and, therefore, require a different response. Please take a look at this short film about young people and domestic abuse.

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CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) 

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CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) 

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This information from the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), describing what domestic partner violence is, including the definitions of physical and sexual abuse, stalking, psychological aggression, describing the nature of the problem of domestic abuse. It gives some informative statistics, what the consequences entail, and how to prevent it from happening and providing additional resources.

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Intimate partner violence (IPV) is abuse or aggression that occurs in a romantic relationship. "Intimate partner" refers to both current and former spouses and dating partners. IPV can vary in how often it happens and how severe it is. It can range from one episode of violence that could have lasting impact to chronic and severe episodes over multiple years. IPV can include any of the following types of behavior:

Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.

Sexual violence is forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in a sex act, sexual touching, or a non-physical sexual event (e.g., sexting) when the partner does not or cannot consent.

Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact by a partner that causes fear or concern for one's own safety or the safety of someone close to the victim.

Psychological aggression is the use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm a partner mentally or emotionally and/or to exert control over a partner.

IPV is connected to other forms of violence and is related to serious health issues and economic consequences. However, IPV and other forms of violence can be prevented. For more information about IPV definitions please see Intimate Partner Violence Surveillance: Uniform Definitions and Recommended Data Elements, Version 2.0. [3.04 MB, 164 Pages, 508] .

IPV is common. It affects millions of people in the United States each year. Data from CDC's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) indicate:

About 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported an intimate partner violence-related impact during their lifetime. Injury, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, concern for safety, fear, needing help from law enforcement, and missing at least one day of work are common impacts reported.

Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

IPV starts early and continues throughout people's lives. When IPV occurs in adolescence, it is called teen dating violence (TDV). TDV affects millions of U.S. teens each year. About 16 million women and 11 million men who reported experiencing contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime said that they first experienced these forms of violence before the age of 18. While violence impacts all people in the United States, some individuals and communities experience inequities in risk for violence due to the social and structural conditions in which they live, work, and play. Youth from groups that have been marginalized, such as sexual and gender minority youth, are at greater risk of experiencing sexual and physical dating violence.

IPV is a significant public health issue that has many individual and societal costs. About 75% of female IPV survivors and 48% of male IPV survivors experience some form of injury related to IPV. IPV can also result in death. Data from U.S. crime reports suggest that about 1 in 5 homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner. The reports also found that over half of female homicide victims in the United States are killed by a current or former male intimate partner.

Many other negative health outcomes are associated with IPV. These include a range of conditions affecting the heart, muscles and bones, and digestive, reproductive, and nervous systems, many of which are chronic. Survivors can experience mental health problems such as depression and PTSD symptoms. They are at higher risk for engaging in behaviors such as smoking, binge drinking, and sexual risk activity. People from groups that have been marginalized, such as people from racial and ethnic minority groups, are at higher risk for worse consequences.

Although the personal consequences of IPV are devastating, there are also many costs to society. The lifetime economic cost associated with medical services for IPV-related injuries, lost productivity from paid work, criminal justice and other costs, is $3.6 trillion. The cost of IPV over a victim's lifetime was $103,767 for women and $23,414 for men.

Intimate partner violence is preventable. A number of factors may increase or decrease the risk of perpetrating and experiencing intimate partner violence. To prevent intimate partner violence, we must understand and address the factors that put people at risk for or protect them from violence. Promoting healthy, respectful, and nonviolent relationships and communities can help reduce the occurrence of IPV. It also can prevent the harmful and long-lasting effects of IPV on individuals, families, and communities. CDC developed a resource, Intimate Partner Violence Prevention Resource for Action [5 MB, 62 Pages] , to help communities take advantage of the best available evidence to prevent intimate partner violence. This resource can be used as a tool in efforts to impact individual behaviors, as well as family, community, and society factors that influence risk and protective factors for intimate partner violence.

Different types of violence are connected and often share root causes. Intimate partner violence is linked to other forms of violence through shared risk and protective factors. Addressing and preventing one form of violence may have an impact on preventing other forms of violence.
For more information about IPV, SV, and Stalking among Men, please see Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Violence, and Stalking Among Men. For information about SV and IPV among people with disabilities, please see Sexual Violence and Intimate Partner Violence Among People with Disabilities.

1. Breiding MJ, Basile KC, Smith SG, Black MC, & Mahendra RR. (2015). Intimate partner violence surveillance: uniform definitions and recommended data elements, Version 2.0. Atlanta (GA): National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

2. Leemis RW, Friar N, Khatiwada S, Chen MS, Kresnow M, Smith SG, Caslin S, & Basile KC. (2022). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2016/2017 Report on Intimate Partner Violence. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

3. Johns MM, Lowry R, Andrzejewski J, Barrios LC, Demissie Z, McManus T, Rasberry CN, Robin L, Underwood JM. Transgender identity and experiences of violence victimization, substance use, suicide risk, and sexual risk behaviors among high school students-19 states and large urban school districts, 2017. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. 2019 Jan 25;68(3):67.

4. Johns MM, Lowry R, Haderxhanaj LT, Rasberry CN, Robin L, Scales L, Stone D, Suarez NA. Trends in violence victimization and suicide risk by sexual identity among high school students-Youth Risk Behavior Survey, United States, 2015-2019. MMWR supplements. 2020 Aug 21;69(1):19.

5. Smith SG, Chen J, Basile KC, Gilbert LK, Merrick MT, Patel N, Walling M, & Jain A. (2017). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010-2012 State Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

6. Jack SP, Petrosky E, Lyons BH, et al. Surveillance for Violent Deaths - National Violent Death Reporting System, 27 States, 2015. MMWR Surveill Summ 2018;67(No. SS-11):1-32. DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.ss6711a1external

7. Niolon, P. H., Kearns, M., Dills, J., Rambo, K., Irving, S., Armstead, T., & Gilbert, L. (2017). Intimate Partner Violence Prevention Resource for Action: A Compilation of the Best Available Evidence. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Note: The title of this document was changed in July 2023 to align with other Prevention
Resources being developed by CDC's Injury Center. The document was previously cited as "Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan: A Technical Package of Programs,
Policies, and Practices."

8. Stockman JK, Hayashi H, Campbell JC. Intimate Partner Violence and its Health Impact on Ethnic Minority Women [corrected] [published correction appears in J Womens Health (Larchmt). 2015 Mar;24(3):256]. J Womens Health (Larchmt). 2015;24(1):62-79. doi:10.1089/jwh.2014.4879

9. Peterson C, Kearns MC, McIntosh WL, Estefan LF, Nicolaidis C, McCollister KE, & Florence C. (2018). Lifetime Economic Burden of Intimate Partner Violence Among U.S. Adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 55(4), 433-444.

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Fast Facts: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence

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Adolescents and adults are often unaware that teens experience dating violence

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DASI (Domestic Abuse & Sexual Assault Intervention Services): Youth affected by Violence

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DASI (Domestic Abuse & Sexual Assault Intervention Services): Youth affected by Violence

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From DASI (domestic abuse and sexual assault intervention services), which describes young adults affected by violence. It states that children who witness domestic abuse in their home are more likely to have behavioral and emotional problems. Teenage abusive relationships can be just as violent and abusive if not more than adults. It talks about teen sexual assault and violence, helpful resources, abusive teen relationships, and serious concerns.

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Abusive Teen Relationships

Teen relationships can be as violent and abusive as those of adults, and just as dangerous.

Even before teenagers have figured out how to deal with romantic relationships, they are forming committed bonds. Abusive dating partners are usually romantic and charming at first, and may sweep their partners off their feet with lots of attention and intense bonding.
It is not uncommon for a teen to confuse jealousy, possessiveness, and controlling behavior with love.

Being in an abusive relationship can be scary and confusing. It can feel like a roller coaster ride, with unexpected turns and frightening plunges downward. A teen victim may feel isolated and alone, embarrassed and ashamed, and unsure where to go for help. She/he may be conflicted as to whether to stay in the relationship or try to leave it. If the partner promises to change, how will she/he know the change is for real? If the partner doesn't change, how can one extricate oneself from the relationship if the partner threatens to hurt the victim, the victim's family, or himself or herself?

These are very serious concerns.

Teen Dating Violence

Teens today face challenges unlike any that have come before. Navigating the current mine field of influences, pressures, needs and feelings takes an enormous amount of maturity and skill, but even the most mature and skilled among them may be at risk of uncharacteristic behaviors or an unanticipated event that could change their lives forever. Particularly at risk are teens who lack the knowledge, skills and resources necessary to be successful in the many kinds of relationships in their lives. It is our belief that healthy, respectful relationships and "relating" can bolster a teen's ability to make positive life decisions. Our focus is on teen dating relationships, however, the skills and information communicated to participants are relevant to many types of interpersonal relationships.

We also focus on teen dating relationships because of the detrimental, and often dangerous impact of unhealthy, abusive and violent behaviors. Teen dating violence is a significant problem because of its alarming prevalence and its physical and mental health consequences. Although statistics as to prevalence vary widely, most studies of middle and high school students estimate the rate of physical aggression to be between 10-20% in the general teen population, and much higher in high-risk youth.

In several large studies, dating violence was linked to high risk behavior among adolescent girls. Findings indicate that girls with a history of physical and sexual dating violence are four times more likely to engage in substance abuse, including binge drinking, cocaine use, heavy smoking, as well as unhealthy weight control behavior including the use of diet pills and laxatives. For teens in abusive relationships, sexual and physical violence are often connected. Pregnant teen women often have a history of physical, sexual and/or family violence. Teens who have experienced childhood or adolescent sexual abuse also have a greater sexual vulnerability, which increases the risks of unintended pregnancy and further abuse.

One study reported that 62% of pregnant teen women have been victims of molestation, attempted rape, or rape, before their first pregnancy. Coercive, controlling, and violent behavior can be extremely frightening for an adolescent girl. She may be forced into risky behaviors, or she may escape the pain of the relationship through high risk activities, such as substance abuse. In either case, intervention is vital.

Teen dating violence is also of serious concern because it occurs at a time when teens are discovering romantic relationships, and patterns of interaction and communication are learned that may carry over into adulthood. Teen dating violence can cover a continuum from emotional and verbal abuse to sexual assault, rape and even murder, paralleling adult domestic violence. In order to prevent domestic and sexual violence in adults, we continue to reach out in a significant way to teens, and provide the services that they need.

Callahan, M.R., Tolman, R.M., & Sanders, D.G. (2003). Adolescent dating violence victimization and psychological well-being. Journal of Adlescent Research, 18 (6), 664-681

Coker, A.L., Smith, P.H., McKeown, R.E. & King, M.L.. (2000) Frequency and correlates of intimate partner violence by type: Physical, sexual. And psychological battering. American Journal of Public Health, 90 (4),55-559

Silverman et al. (2001). "Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Abuse, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality." JAMA.2001;286:572-579.

Wekerle, C., & Wolfe, D.A.,(1999) Dating violence in mid-adolescence: Theory, significance, and emerging preventative initiatives. Clinical Psychology Review, 19 (4),435-456.

Sousa, C.A., (1999). Teen dating violence:The hidden epidemic. Family & Conciliation Courts Review, 37 (3), 356-374

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Abusive Teen Relationships Teen relationships can be as violent and abusive as those of adults, and just as dangerous. Even before teenagers have figured out how to deal with romantic relationships, they are forming committed bonds. Abusive dating partners are usually romantic and charming at first, and may sweep their partners off their feet with lots of attention and intense bonding.

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Groups address domestic violence prevention in young adults

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Groups address domestic violence prevention in young adults

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This informative video about groups addresses domestic violence prevention in young adults. Advocates and survivors recognize it.

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Groups address domestic violence prevention in young adults

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During October, domestic violence is recognized nationally by advocates and survivors.

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What are the root causes for violence and abuse and how can we address them?

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I'm Glad My Mom Died is a memoir by Jannette McCurdy about her struggles growing up as a child actor. Jannette talks a lot about covert abuse and how she didn't realize it was abuse until long later in her life. I chose this book because a lot of people don't talk about covert abuse as it can be mistaken for love, or you don't think that your mother or someone so close to you can do it. After her mother died, she attended therapy and left because she couldn't accept what her mom did to her; she later returned to therapy and finally accepted the relationship with her, and her mother was emotionally abusive and not healthy.

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How to Recognize the Signs of Emotional Abuse

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How to Recognize the Signs of Emotional Abuse

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This website brings attention to recognizing the signs of emotional abuse. It talks about the definition of it, various examples, how to deal with the abuse, how abuse is never the victim's fault, and resources throughout. It gives you information on how to get guidance and support and the next steps.

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You don't deserve emotional abuse, and if it happens it's not your fault. This is how you can recognize the signs of emotional abuse and get guidance and support on what to do next.

You might be familiar with many of the obvious signs of emotional abuse and manipulation. But when you're in an abusive situation, it's easy to miss the subtle early signs that build up to a a persistent undercurrent of abusive behavior.

Emotional abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. This type of abuse doesn't involve physical violence, though it might involve threats of violence directed toward you or your loved ones. It's characterized by a person's words, actions, and the consistency of these behaviors. Abuse may start gradually, but it happens again and again.

People of any age or gender can abuse or experience abuse. And abuse doesn't just happen in the context of romantic relationships. The person abusing you could be your spouse or romantic partner - but they might also be your business partner, parent, caretaker, or even your adult child.

Regardless, you don't deserve the abuse, and it's definitely not your fault.

Continue reading to learn how to recognize the signs of emotional abuse and get some guidance on what to do next.

Someone abusing you may use different tactics to undermine your self-esteem.

Examples include:

Name-calling and derogatory nicknames. They'll blatantly call you "stupid," "a loser," or use other insults. Maybe they use terms of "endearment" that actually highlight things you're sensitive about - "my little nail biter" or "my chubby pumpkin" - and ignore your requests to stop.

Character assassination. This usually involves the word "always." You're always late, wrong, screwing up, disagreeable, and so on. They might say these things to you, or use them to describe your behavior to others.

Yelling. Screaming, yelling, and swearing can intimidate you and make you feel small and inconsequential. Maybe they never hit you, but they do pound their fist, throw things, or damage property.

Patronizing. They belittle you by saying things like, "I know you try, but this is just beyond the scope of your brain."

Public embarrassment. They pick fights, share your secrets, or make fun of your shortcomings in public.

Dismissiveness. You share something important to you and they reply with, "What? Who cares about that?" Body language like eye rolling, smirking, head shaking, and sighing help convey the same message.

"Joking." When you express discomfort with something they've said, they snap back, "Can't you take a joke? Grow up." You're left feeling foolish and wondering whether you are, in fact, too sensitive.

Insulting your appearance. As you head out, they stop you at the door. "You're wearing that ridiculous outfit? No wonder you can't get a date." Or they constantly say you're lucky they chose you, since they could find someone so much more attractive.

Belittling your accomplishments. They brush off your achievements, saying they don't matter, or claim responsibility for your successes.

Putting down your interests. They suggest your hobby is a waste of time. "You'll never be any good at the piano, so why do you keep trying?" Really, they'd rather you not participate in activities without them.

Pushing your buttons. Once they find something that annoys you or makes you uncomfortable, they begin to mention it every chance they get, ignoring your requests that they stop.

Abusive behavior relates to the desire to maintain power and control. Someone abusing you might attempt to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do, often by making you feel ashamed of your inadequacies.

They may try to control you by:

Making threats. They imply - or say outright - that they'll fire you or report you for being an unfit parent. They might even say something like, "There's no telling what I might do," to keep things vague and leave you afraid.

Monitoring your whereabouts. They want to know where you are, always, and insist you respond to calls or texts immediately. They might show up at your work or school, just to check you did actually go there.

Spying on you digitally. They demand your passwords, or insist you go password-free, and regularly check your internet history, emails, texts, and call log.

Gaslighting. Someone abusing you may deny that specific events, arguments, or agreements ever happened. This tactic can leave you questioning your own memory, not to mention your mental health and well-being.

Making all the decisions. This might involve closing a joint bank account and canceling doctor's appointments. They may insist you withdraw from school and resign from work - or do so on your behalf. Or maybe they tell you what to wear, what to eat (and how much), or which friends you can spend time with.

Controlling your access to finances. They keep bank accounts in their name and make you ask for money. They also expect you to keep your receipts and account for every penny you spend.

Emotional blackmailing. Someone using this tactic will attempt to get you to do things by manipulating your feelings. They might use tricky questions to "test" you, take on the role of victim, or try to guilt-trip you.

Lecturing you constantly. After you make a mistake, no matter how minor, they catalog all of your errors with a long monologue. They describe all the ways you've fallen short and make it clear they consider you beneath them.

Giving direct orders. From, "I don't care what happened. You stay here until you get that client back, or you're fired," to "Stop taking the pill," they expect you to do everything they say without question.

Having frequent outbursts. They told you to cancel that outing with your friend, or put the car in the garage, but you didn't. So, they become enraged, angrily shouting about how inconsiderate and uncooperative you are.

Feigning helplessness. They say they don't know how to do something, hoping you'll simply do it yourself instead of taking the time to explain it.

Unpredictability. They explode for no clear reason, then suddenly shower you with affection. Or maybe their mood shifts from upbeat to dark and angry with little warning, leaving you never sure what to expect.

Walking out. A partner or parent might leave a social event suddenly, so you have no way home. A supervisor might exit during a discussion about your assignment, so your questions remain unresolved.

Stonewalling you. During a disagreement or conflict, they shut down, refusing to respond to your attempts to communicate.

People who abuse others often try to create a hierarchy that puts them at the top and you at the bottom.

Examples might include:

Jealousy. They accuse you of flirting or cheating, or say you'd spend all your time with them if you truly loved them.

They might try to Using guilt. guilt-trip you into doing something by saying things like, "You owe me this. Look at all I've done for you," in an attempt to get their way.

Unrealistic expectations. They expect you to do what they want, when they want you to do it. They think you should always prioritize their needs, do things according to their standards - and you absolutely shouldn't hang out with your friends or family if there's any chance they might need you.

Goading and blaming. People who manipulate and abuse typically know just how to upset you. But once you do get upset, they pin the blame back on you - after all, it's your fault for being so sensitive and incompetent.

Denying the abuse. When you express concerns about their behavior, they might deny it, seemingly bewildered at the very thought. They may even suggest you're the one with anger and control issues, or say they only get angry because you're such a difficult person.

Trivializing. When you explain how much something they said or did upset you and hurt your feelings, they accuse you of overreacting or misunderstanding the situation.

Blaming you for their problems. When things go wrong, they always blame you. If only you'd been a more loving child, a more supportive partner, or a better parent, they might say, their life would be fantastic.

Destroying and denying. They might throw your phone down to break it, "lose" your car keys, or destroy other important possessions, then deny it or say it happened accidentally.

Someone abusing you will generally try to get you to prioritize their needs and neglect your own.

Often, they'll also make an effort to isolate you by coming between you and your supportive loved ones - a step which, of course, leaves you more dependent on them.

Tactics they might use include:

Dehumanizing you. They'll intentionally look away when you're talking or stare at something else when speaking to you in an effort to make you feel unimportant.

Keeping you from socializing. Whenever you have plans to go out, they come up with a distraction or beg you not to go.

Invalidating you. They might suggest or say straight out that your needs, boundaries, and desires don't matter to them.

Trying to come between you and your family. They'll tell family members you don't want to see them or make excuses why you can't attend family functions. Later, they might tell you that your loved ones don't care about you or think there's something wrong with you.

Using the silent treatment. They might ignore your attempts at conversation in person, via text, or over the phone.

Withholding affection. They won't touch you, even to hold your hand or pat you on the shoulder. They may refuse to have any intimate contact if you offend them, or they want you to do something you don't want to do.

Shutting down communication. They might wave you off, change the subject, or simply ignore you when you want to talk about important concerns.

Actively working to turn others against you. They might tell other people in your life, including co-workers, friends, and even your family, that you lie, have lost touch with reality, or have had an emotional breakdown.

Denying support. When you need emotional support or help with a problem, they might call you needy, say the world can't stop and wait on your problems, or tell you to toughen up and fix it yourself.

Interrupting. They might get in your face when you're in the middle of an activity and take away your phone or anything else in your hands to let you know your attention should be on them.

Disputing your feelings. No matter what feeling or emotion you express, they might insist you shouldn't feel that way. For example, "You shouldn't be angry over that," or "What have you got to feel sad about?"

Learn more about codependency and how to overcome it.

If you believe you're experiencing emotional abuse, trust your instincts.

These tips offer a place to start:

Don't try to fix them. You may want to help, but it's often difficult for abusive people to change their behavior without professional support. You can encourage them to work with a therapist, but they have to make the choice themselves.

Avoid self-blame. Remember, you never deserve abuse, no matter what you've said or done. The only person responsible is the one engaging in abusive behavior.

Prioritize your needs. Taking care of your physical and emotional needs can help you move forward to a place where you feel comfortable setting boundaries, reaching out for support, and leaving the abusive situation.

Avoid engaging with them. Don't reply to their text messages, phone calls, or emails. If you can't avoid working or spending time with them, try to keep another person with you and limit your conversation to essential topics.

Set personal boundaries. Decide how you'll avoid responding to manipulation or getting pulled into arguments. Express those limits to the person using abuse tactics and stick to them. You might say, for example, "If you call me names, I'll go home," or, "If you start teasing me in public, I'll leave."

Build a support network. It might feel frightening to open up about what you've experienced, but reaching out to loved ones and a supportive therapist can go a long way toward helping you get the support you need to heal.

Exit the relationship or circumstance. State clearly that the relationship is over and cut all ties, if possible. Block their number and social media accounts, and ignore attempts to reach out.

Give yourself time to heal. Take space to focus on your needs and recovery. This might involve rediscovering your sense of self, creating a new self-care routine, and talking with a therapist who can offer guidance with recovery.

Leaving an abusive relationship often proves more challenging if you're married, have children, or have shared assets. If that's your situation, a good next step involves seeking legal assistance.

A domestic violence advocate or mental health professional can also help you develop an exit plan to leave the relationship safely.

The following resources can also help you come up with a plan:

Visit DomesticShelters.org. this website for educational information, a free hotline, and a searchable database of services in your area.

Love Is Respect. This nonprofit organization offers teens and young adults a chance to chat online, call, or text with advocates.

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Emotional Abuse: What It Is and Signs to Watch For

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Emotional abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. It can happen in all kinds of relationships. Here's how to recognize it and what to do next.

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A video that stood out to me and will make an impact on students and the effect words can have on someone is this one, this video can be relatable to young adults. It emphasized that words can really hurt and get under your skin.

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Words Can Hurt | Emotional Abuse | Childline

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Recognizing Emotional Abuse in Young People

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Recognizing Emotional Abuse in Young People

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This article recognizes emotional abuse in young people. It talks about how emotional abuse is also abuse, how it gets unrecognized and undiscussed. It gives examples of what it can look like and what the examples can later lead to in life. Young adults may believe that emotionally abusive conduct is a typical way to show affection since they are frequently unsure of what a good relationship genuinely looks like. This connects directly to the book by Jannette McCurdy.

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Emotional abuse is abuse.

I shouldn't have to say it, but all too often people wait for bruises to appear before considering a relationship "actually" abusive. Psychological pain can be just as bruising as a slap or punch, even if it leaves no physical mark.

Emotional abuse (also called psychological abuse) is categorized by a pattern of behavior that leaves another person feeling isolated, degraded or worthless. It is a way for the abuser to maintain power and control in the relationship.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which means a lot of really great conversations are happening all over the internet about interpersonal violence. I want to pay particular attention to emotional abuse today because even though it's one of the most common forms of abuse, it often goes unrecognized and undiscussed.

Young people, who are often uncertain of what a healthy relationship actually looks like, may think that emotionally abusive behavior is a normal way to express love.

Teens are still establishing their sense of self and asking important questions about who they are, including "am I lovable?" When young adults stay in an emotionally abusive relationship, their identity gets chipped away at. This is devastating to their self-esteem. Those who are abused often begin to believe what their abusers say about them-that they are worthless and un-lovable. This can lead to isolation, depression, dangerous coping mechanisms such as cutting and using drugs, and even suicide.

Identifying and naming abusive behaviors is one way that victims can regain some control of their lives. While emotional abuse can take many different forms, here are some of the most common ways I've seen it play out in teens' lives.

Intimidation

Intimidation can be subtle, and includes veiled or indirect threats. I've had patients whose partners wait for them at their lockers every day, so they have no privacy and understand that they are being watched. This makes the abused feel like they are not in control, and have nowhere to hide. Constantly feeling that way can have a major effect on someone's overall sense of safety, and often leads to anxiety.

Explicit threats

Other times, intimidation isn't subtle at all. One patient's partner told them, "I'm gonna get a bunch of girls to jump you if you break up with me." Another common threat is that the abuser will say, "I am going to kill myself if you break up with me." This specific threat leads to the abused feeling guilty, and pushing their own needs aside and staying in this relationship. Things get even more complicated if children are involved. It's common for abusive partners to threaten to take their partner to court and take their child away from them if they break up, or do something that they don't like.

Slut shaming

This can also be a form of intimidation, such as, "if you go to that party without me, I'll tell everyone what we did in bed together." It's also a common way to shame a partner: "Since I've already tapped that, no one else will want you." This makes the abused feel trapped, unwanted and ashamed.

Name calling

This behavior is easier to identify. Abusers may directly call their partner ugly, stupid and worthless. Over time, the abused may come to believe what is being said about them, leading to depression and withdrawal.

Gas lighting

This is when an abuser convinces their partner that they remember an event or piece of information wrong. It leads to self-doubt, and becoming uncertain of their own memory and even sanity. Common phrases include "But I never promised that," "I didn't stay out late that night," or "I was just joking." Over time, it can make someone feel like they are going crazy.

Stonewalling

This is a refusal to communicate. It may look like a partner walking out in the middle of a fight or giving their partner the silent treatment when they're upset. Sometimes people need to take a break from an argument to calm down and revisit the discussion later, and that's ok (even healthy), but the behavior becomes abusive when it is continually used as a form of punishment for expressing desires or opinions that your partner doesn't like. I've worked with patients whose partners completely ignored them during the school day, but expressed love and demanded affection when they were alone together. This makes the abused extremely confused and frustrated.

Discouraging and criticizing

"Why would you want to hang out with her?"; "You really want to join that club?"; "But everyone got an A on that test"; "You're not going to wear that, are you?" Behavior that makes their significant other feel bad about their friends, goals, interests, or how they present themselves is unacceptable. This may lead to withdrawal and isolation-telltale signs of abuse.

Healthy relationships are based on Trust and Respect. Unfortunately, young people are rarely taught about abuse in a meaningful way. The more we talk about emotional abuse-and relationships in general-the more likely it is that young people will speak up about potentially abusive behavior. Talking about abuse is hard for anyone, but particularly for young people. Remember that it is never the victim's fault. Those who have been abused may want to talk to a therapist-dealing with the psychological effects of abuse can be incredibly difficult, and therapists can help create a safe space for survivors to rediscover their personal identity.
Rachel Colon, LCSW, is a primary care social worker with over 10 years of experience working with survivors of domestic violence. The Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center provides comprehensive, confidential, judgment free health care-including mental health services-at no charge to over 10,000 young people every year. It is located in New York City. This column is not intended to provide medical advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to you or to any other individual, only general information for education purposes only.

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Recognizing Emotional Abuse in Young People

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Emotional abuse is rarely recognized as "real" abuse. In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here are some of the most common ways I see it play out in teens' lives.

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Domestic Violence: Experiences of Partner Emotional Abuse

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Domestic Violence: Experiences of Partner Emotional Abuse

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I decided to include this website on statistics of domestic violence: experiences of partner emotional abuse. The 2016 Personal Safety Survey (PSS) data on partner emotional abuse is analyzed in a novel way in this study. It describes the sociodemographic characteristics, age, disability or long-term health condition, family composition, and more.

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Domestic Violence: Experiences of Partner Emotional Abuse

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Statistics about partner emotional abuse including prevalence, demographics and associations with partner violence/childhood abuse.

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An engagement that can be used to invite students to explore the content of young adult violence and abuse is the Book-Head-Heart reading framework. The BHH reading can be applied to any read at any time with any book out there. Students are encouraged to participate in what Rosenblatt (1982) refers to as "the literary transaction" by reading "Book, Head, Heart." "Reading is a transaction, a two-way process, involving a reader and a text at a particular time, under particular circumstances." It would inspire students to interact with the text and with one another; I believe it would be an excellent strategy to utilize in the classroom.

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Cultural X-Rays encourage children to view individuals regarding their ideas and values rather than their outward characteristics, such as color, gender, or nationality. They can also teach children that even if they appear different and have diverse interests on the outside, what matters to them most is the same. It promotes empathy and understanding among children, which is essential in teaching the topics of young adult violence and abuse because it emphasizes the characteristics of a victim from the outside characteristics as well as how they may be feeling or showing on the inside.

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Another engagement that can be used to invite students to explore the content of young adult violence and abuse is the Book-Head-Heart reading framework. The BHH reading can be applied to any read at any time with any book out there. The framework helps this transaction by posing questions to students that help them define what is "in the book" and shed light on their personal responses to the text. It inspires readers to think more deeply about what they are reading and how it relates to them personally. This structure encourages the reader to consider the ideas and thoughts that came to them while they read and the feelings the narrative evoked. Relating BHH to young adult violence, each novel I introduce to them, I would have them complete a BHH. Using it correlating to the book I'm Glad My Mom Died, we can use the chart to see how they interpret the book. "What is the book about? Who's telling the story? What does the author, Jannette, want me to know? Then, in my head, what surprised me about the book? What changed my thinking, and what did I notice? Finally, in my heart, what did I learn about myself, or how will this benefit me and help me improve in the future?