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Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness (Lyrics)

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There is a large part of myself I hate to admit is concerned Daisy may still be upset from my absence five years ago. My calling to war couldn't be helped, but after the fact I knew I couldn't return as the dirt-poor boy she couldn't marry. I never would have been able to provide for her properly, so I decided to take opportunities offered to me post war in order to gain some wealth and status. I spent years building connections and money just to return to her, no matter the cost. I even wiped out any mention of my poor upbringing so as not to tarnish her own image. None of that erases the gap of time I wasn't there, even though I asked her to await my return I heard she got remarried. I'm sure it was nothing more than a fling, but I can't help but worry. No matter, the plans must commence.

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I'd had swarms of people tumbling into my brightly filled mansion for weeks, all in hopes that Daisy would appear. That we'd lock eyes across the room and all the sudden all the lights, yelling, music and people would fade away... just us two in the whole world. Wonderful, isn't it? Without her I just spend my days watching the green light at the edge of her house, just out of reach.

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Well, it went according to plan, Nick decided to help me out! I was afraid he wouldn't... he seemed peeved when I told him miss Baker had something to discuss with him concerning me. Granted it's obvious to anybody with eyes he's infatuated with her, but he would have more opportunities in the future, especially if I was able to reunite with my Daisy. I'd been chasing her for so long... and now that the reality of our reunion is so close, I've begun to get nervous about it. I've taken it upon myself to fix up Nick's shack; I need everything to be perfect, top to bottom. Speaking of which I should remember to trim up Nick's grass. I know it'll be perfect... but I can't shake my own nerves. I've become the rich successful man I needed to be back then; I just need to show my success and hope that Daisy sees it too. That's all, right?

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The reunion went splendidly, although I nearly made a fool of myself at first! Nick exited for a while and I got the chance to talk to her, after minutes of merely staring from us both. We spoke about how my feelings never faded... how I'd spent years becoming the man I'd needed to be so long ago just so I could return to her, and she still loved me, as I suspected, although she remarried. Afterwards I took her to my mansion... but I wasn't really paying attention to anything besides her. The way her eyes lit up, her smile, her laugh, her voice... all the things I'd missed the most I had within my grasp once more. She'd forgive me for leaving, for being too small to take over, for not being the power se deserved. I'd done it now, no matter the cost I'd done it, and she'd see it too.

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Gatsby here!

I've got so many ideas rummaging around in my head these days I figured a journal would be the best way to jot them all down. After five years of working and waiting for my dear Daisy, I've finally made it, richer than ever, my house across the very lake she lives! I had a brilliant idea to throw extravagant parties at my mansion, I thought maybe she would wander in with the rest of the crowd one day but for some reason she didn't! Pity too... what a romantic moment it would have been, I'd had the whole thing set up perfectly! No matter, her cousin, a man named Nick moved in not long ago just next door. If Daisy herself won't wander in perhaps I can coax Nick to help me, a long shot I know but I'm sure when he understands I'll have a shot!

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We ran into trouble on the road. Daisy had insisted on driving after the debacle between Tom and I, and I wasn't to tell her no. But as she was consumed in her thoughts, a woman ran into the road in front of our car, and I couldn't reach the wheel in time... she went flying. Daisy was quiet for the rest of the ride, a mix of emotions from the evening as a whole I expect. The quiet gave me space to think, which probably wasn't a good thing. I began spiraling from worry over Daisy, of what Tom would do once she got home, or what the authorities would do if they found out she had been the one driving. I had connections, I could handle it so long as she was safe, so I would take the blame instead. Now, the morning after, I am turning away all other calls as I await upon her voice.

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Daisy seemed upset for a little during our reunion, burst out crying when I showed her my wardrobe... A little emotion at a time like that was to be expected. I doubt it was the shirts as she said but I got rid of the entire wardrobe nonetheless.

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I hate the man; I mask it well for the most part, but I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the man long enough for anything to happen regardless. I hate how it's his ring on her finger, how she lives in his house and not my own. I hate how she must sneak around. If only she was honest and finally cut him loose, it isn't like he's loyal to her anyway. I had good reasons for disappearing as I did, everything I do is for her, but him... he can't even have the decency to stick to one woman let alone treat her with care.

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I'll always be here Daisy....

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d4vd - Where'd It Go Wrong? (Official Music Video)