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GO WILD: Free Your Body and Mind From the Afflictions of Civilization

Ratey, J. and Manning, R. [Little, Brown and Company (June 3, 2014)]

The scientific evidence behind why maintaining a lifestyle more like that of our ancestors will restore our health and well-being. Civilization has rapidly evolved, our bodies have not kept pace. This mismatch affects every area of our lives, from our general physical health to our emotional wellbeing. GO WILD examines how tapping into our core DNA combats modern disease and psychological afflictions, from Autism and Depression to Diabetes and Heart Disease. By focusing on the ways of the past, it is possible to secure a healthier and happier future, and GO WILD will show you how.

SPARK: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain

Ratey, J. [Little, Brown and Company (January 10, 2008)]

SPARK is a groundbreaking exploration of the connection between exercise and the brain's performance that shows how even moderate exercise will supercharge mental circuits to beat stress, sharpen thinking, enhance memory, and much more.

SPARK will change forever the way you think about your morning run---or, for that matter, simply the way you think.

Delivered from Distraction - Getting the Most Out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder

Ratey, J. and Hallowel N. [Ballantine Books , 2005]

Ratey, J. [Vintage Books, 2002]

A User's Guide to the Brain: Perception, Attention, and the Four Theaters of the Brain

Dr. John Ratey, explains in lucid detail and with perfect clarity the basic structure and chemistry of the brain: how its systems shape our perceptions, emotions, actions, and reactions; how possession of this knowledge can enable us to more fully understand and improve our lives; and how the brain responds to the guidance of its user.

Ratey, J & Johnson, C. [New York: Pantheon Books, 1997]

Shadow Syndromes: The Mild Forms of Major Mental Disorders That Sabotage Us

Drawing on cutting-edge research, Drs. Ratey and Johnson challenge the most basic beliefs of our mental health professionals by uncovering the biological factors that often determine our personalities. They use real-life case studies to illustrate how shadow syndromes affect our everyday lives and how they can be treated--often dramatically--with diet, exercise, psychotherapy, and medication.

Ratey J. & Hallowell E. [New York: Pantheon Press, 1995]Answers To Distraction provides practical solutions to the dilemmas of ADD. This "user's guide" to ADD is presented in question-and-answer format ideal for even the most distractible reader. Each chapter covers a specific aspect of ADD, such as ADD in women, ADD and aggression, ADD and addiction, or ADD and work.

Ratey J. & Hallowell E. [New York: Pantheon Press, 1994]

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder From Childhood Through Adulthood

A classic in the field of ADD, Driven to Distraction was one of the original books to clearly explain ADD and dispel many common myths about it, while also describing many of the treatments for ADD as well as the research about it at the time. While Delivered From Distraction is more up-to-date, Driven to Distraction is still a helpful reference.

Ratey J. (ed) [London: Blackwell Science, 1994]

The Neuropsychiatry of Personality Disorders

This title in the "Neuropsychiatry" series discusses the neurological and psychiatric basis and treatment possibilities of anti-social behaviour and other personality disorders, both idiopathic and those associated with substance abuse, attention deficit, schizophrenia, frontal and temporal lobe epilepsy. This reflects the awareness of the structural, biochemical and pharmacologic interactions of this group of patients. Although the subject is firmly grounded in science, the approach is practical and should be of relevance to the clinician in his or her daily practice.

Ratey J. (ed) [American Psychiatric Association Press, 1991]This volume is designed to further our understanding of the pharmacologic treatability of the mental illnesses that individuals with mental retardation often display. The book shows patients can benefit from pharmacological interventions that are part of a multisystems approach to treatment, the aim of which is to maintain or increase the cognitive functioning of the individual. In this respect, pharmacologic and polypharmacologic approaches are sought to provide more efficacious, less toxic treatment regimens for these patients. New insights into the nature of neurological disturbance in mental retardation are presented, and the book offers a practical guide to the treatment of developmentally disabled people.

Mental Retardation: Developing Pharmacotherapies

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GO WILD: Free Your Body and Mind From the Afflictions of Civilization Ratey, J. and Manning, R. [Little, Brown and Company (June 3, 2014)] The scientific evidence behind why maintaining a lifestyle more like that of our ancestors will restore our health and well-being. Civilization has rapidly evolved, our bodies have not kept pace.

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AFTERNOON SESSION

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Afternoon Session Essential Slides, T. Boogren

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12:57:48 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I just had a delicious lunch made by my husband so that’s what’s saving my life right now! Mmmmmmm…
12:58:25 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Welcome back! And welcome to our new folks! I’m happy you’re here!
12:58:31 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : Right now Dolly Parton is!
12:58:56 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : RIGHT? I forgot all about this song until someone listed it as one of their top 3 favorites—it makes me so happy !
12:59:06 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : Love it!
12:59:30 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Exercise and yoga
12:59:44 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : The thing that is saving my life is my daughter's smile and husband's laugh
12:59:45 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : The sunshine is fantastic today!
12:59:58 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YESSSSS to smiles and laughter!
13:00:26 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : We’ll get started soon… in the meantime, settle in, enjoy the music, and take a nice deep breath… ahhhhhh….
13:00:40 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : The love my family has for me. It reminds me constantly to be thankful and greatful for the life I have. 
13:00:55 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : Rewatching old favorite shows and movies
13:01:01 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : keeping busy with a 1 year old and getting outside as much as possible.
13:01:02 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Love these
13:01:22 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : Starting to be busy with things I enjoy doing is saving my life
13:01:56 From Kristi  to Everyone : Silly shows and movies, Ted Lasso is my new favorite. So darn funny!
13:02:17 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : That is next on my list, @Kristi!! I’ve heard such good things about it!
13:03:51 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : Yay Marzano!
13:05:10 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : https://padlet.com/tinaboogren/Jan29
13:05:18 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : We are getting a copy of the book to those in here this afternoon.  Once they are available I will let you know and we will work to get it to you.
13:06:23 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Made zoom so much easier to keep focused
13:06:31 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : Yes! I love speaker view! its so helpful!
13:09:20 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : My precious husband ❤️❤️❤️
13:09:28 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Chocolate
13:09:46 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : That FriYAY feeling!
13:09:46 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : My dogs!
13:09:51 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : My cats
13:09:53 From shawna.hanenberg@csupueblo.edu to Everyone : A walk over the lunch break
13:09:55 From Leann to Everyone : One GO to person at school who I can talk freely too! My Family, Amazing husband, 3 boys (who also drive me crazy at times)  and our 2 new puppies!
13:09:57 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YAY! Pets!
13:10:06 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : That’s alarm ringtone :D
13:10:06 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : PUPPIES!!!!!!
13:10:26 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : What a great way to wake up, @Denise!
13:10:38 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : for sure :D
13:18:39 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : He’s the bomb!
13:22:07 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : excitment, fear, anxiety 
13:22:11 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : sad, hopeful, love
13:22:13 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : gratitude
13:22:15 From Ilura Love to Everyone : Frustrated, stressed, grateful
13:22:15 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Anxiety, hope, gratitude
13:22:16 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : Joy, overwhelmed, excited
13:22:20 From Kristi  to Everyone : excitement, anxiousness, gratitude
13:22:20 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : frustration, happiness, overwhelmed
13:22:25 From shawna.hanenberg@csupueblo.edu to Everyone : Hope, anxiety, gratitude
13:22:26 From Leann to Everyone : Frustration, joy, overwhelmed!
13:22:28 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : overthinking is definitely one of them lol, but I feel heartbroken for the younger kiddos having to have their educational experience taken from them
13:22:36 From Leandra Montoya to Everyone : Joy, excitement, hope
13:22:38 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Passion, high energy, caring
13:22:38 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : anxious, excited, overwhelmed
13:22:43 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : overwhelmed, happy, and curious
13:27:06 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : true
13:27:08 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : true
13:27:10 From Leann to Everyone : T
13:27:11 From Ilura Love to Everyone : false
13:27:11 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : true
13:27:14 From Kristi  to Everyone : true
13:27:16 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : true
13:27:16 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : True
13:27:19 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : probably true
13:28:01 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : absolutely. it’s like trying to be a good mom when you are super stressed - it’s hard to take care of someone else when you are not centered in your own mind
13:34:10 From Denise K. Henry to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : This is fantastic and I’ve wanted to attend a Solution Tree session for a long time. Iv’e got another meeting in about half an hour but will come back as soon as it ends. Thank you so much :)
13:41:48 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Physiologyy
13:41:52 From Kristi  to Everyone : physiology
13:41:53 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : 1
13:41:55 From shawna.hanenberg@csupueblo.edu to Everyone : Physiological
13:42:14 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : belonging
13:42:19 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : belonging
13:42:19 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : belongiing
13:42:20 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : love and belonging
13:42:40 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Self actualization
13:42:42 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : self actualization
13:43:14 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : self esteem
13:43:41 From Kristi  to Everyone : connection to something greater
13:43:42 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : connecting to something great than self
13:43:44 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : connection to something greater
13:43:44 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : greater good
13:43:50 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : connecting to something greater
13:44:06 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : safety
13:44:06 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : safety
13:44:09 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : safety
13:44:10 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : safety
13:46:02 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : driven by standardized testing
13:46:05 From Karen Marley to Everyone : SHAPE AMERICA has a whole curriculum on SEL
13:49:11 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : Is the handout in the pallet?
13:49:16 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : *padlet
13:49:24 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : https://padlet.com/tinaboogren/Jan29
13:49:42 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : gracias
13:52:02 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Karen Marley has very strong opinions and experience with this!!
13:52:04 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Our PE teachers should be happy to hear this
13:52:11 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : flexible seating has gotten so creative too
13:54:39 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : jumping up and down break
13:54:47 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : dance breaks
13:54:53 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : number of the day movements- jumping jacks…
13:54:58 From Ilura Love to Everyone : Go noodle dance breaks are great for my 2nd graders
13:55:05 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Congo, go noodle, “brain breaks” ppt, team building games
13:55:09 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : I lead a 2 min stretch session in Spanish 😊😊😊❤️
13:55:10 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Touch four corners and then return to your seats
13:55:16 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : charades- super quick version
13:55:17 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : an exercise video off youtube that the students can follow along to
13:55:19 From Denise K. Henry to Everyone : I allowed movement in the whole class period (math). Stand, kneel, lean while working. Lots of learning stations. We worked outside when possible. I didn’t have formal  movement breaks though.
13:55:21 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : My kindergarten co-op teacher uses Go Noodle videos and plays simon says and i spy when we are working on new lessons and the activities are centered around the theme of the lesson
13:55:23 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : go noodle
13:55:28 From Ilura Love to Everyone : I try to let students have small stretch breaks here and there
13:55:30 From Karen Marley to Everyone : various fun brainbreaks
13:55:33 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I looooove Go Noodle!
13:55:45 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : The Peloton app has quick brain breaks, too!
13:56:00 From Leann to Everyone : Stretching
13:56:18 From Ilura Love to Everyone : We play four corners at the end of the day too.
13:57:01 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Every 30 minutes of non movement, the brain thinks your sleeping, need to move
14:07:27 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : they are curious
14:07:28 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : they are made to feel important
14:07:34 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : their teacher believes in them
14:07:47 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : they want to learn
14:07:48 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : I know they can (teacher)
14:08:07 From Ilura Love to Everyone : It’s natural for them
14:12:49 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : He has lots of character
14:12:56 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : jokester
14:12:57 From Kristi  to Everyone : outgoing
14:13:09 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : likes to joke around
14:13:11 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : He is telling his friend "I told you so"
14:13:11 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : He is a smarty pants who has a great comeback for any situation 😊😊❤️❤️
14:13:16 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Lets do this
14:13:22 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Clever and sweet
14:13:27 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : football
14:13:31 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : looks like he is about to mess with someone by telling them something false
14:13:33 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : he has great comebacks for anything he is told 
14:13:43 From Leandra Montoya to Everyone : Determined
14:14:16 From Ilura Love to Everyone : Honestly, from this picture my mind thinks he is trying to mess with someone. Reminds me of Malfoy from Harry Potter.
14:15:20 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Rosenthal
14:17:20 From Karen Marley to Everyone : This is like coaching an athlet
14:20:10 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Find a different way of teaching
14:28:49 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : 2:45!!!!
14:29:57 From Susan Marenya to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : I just wanted to let you know that I will be waking my 1.5 year old up around 3. My sitter can’t make it today.  She will be in the background muted of course. Thanks for understanding.
14:46:01 From Tina Boogren to Susan Marenya(Direct Message) : Of course!!!!! Good luck! 😉
14:53:02 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : What are three things you’re grateful for today?
14:53:17 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : What is one positive about going “virtual”? What is one great thing about being in school? What is something your looking forward to do this afternoon?
14:53:27 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : What’s something that 2020 taught you?
14:53:40 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : What are you most looking forward to in 2022?
14:53:59 From Ilura Love to Everyone : What is something I can do to help and support you?
14:54:00 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : What do you want to do to have better health and wellbeing this year?
14:54:01 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I’m realizing now that I’m student teaching that I need to be current with what my little kiddos are reading, watching, listening to, etc. So I have already been asking my students when they come in and unpack and wait for class to start what games they like to play, shows they like and their favorite colors that I notice them coloring with in class often
14:54:02 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : What’s your theme song?
14:54:07 From Kristi  to Everyone : What goals do you have for this year? Month? Week? Today?
14:54:17 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : what is something special about you that you want me to know?
14:54:39 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : What app do you use most everyday?
14:54:39 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : What is your favorite part of coming to school? What is one thing that makes you feel scared? What is one thing that you can do that you are so proud to be able to do?
14:54:46 From Leandra Montoya to Everyone : Can we set a goal for the class as a whole today? Individually, what is a goal you want to achieve by the end of the day?
14:54:52 From Ilura Love to Everyone : What is your favorite thing to do outside of school?
14:55:03 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : BRILLIANT! (You guys are amazing.)
14:55:12 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : Daily journal prompts give a chance to get to know your students also… even just a quick write. I always tell them to flag pages they really want me to read… I also make sure to check them at least once a week.
14:55:24 From Ilura Love to Everyone : What is a pet peeve you have?
14:55:34 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : how can I support you today?
14:55:45 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : what brings you joy?
14:56:08 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : What is your least favorite food? What is something you were proud of last year? What is your favorite song?
15:22:36 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : agree
15:22:37 From Ilura Love to Everyone : Agree, for most people.
15:22:38 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Agree (in general)
15:22:39 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : Agree
15:22:41 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : agree
15:22:41 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : agree
15:27:08 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : think “out of the box”
15:27:37 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Ive seen it before… im older than most of you guys
15:28:05 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : 👏👏
15:29:50 From Alexandra Strunk to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : do you have other “tasks” like this for classroom? Love these
15:35:24 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : For the next 2 weeks, we are having every classmate write notes of gratitude or compliments to each other, and by Valentine's, they will have a full book of notes!
15:36:08 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : link to evaluation: https://bit.ly/3otk3Gv
15:36:16 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Oh I love that @Leann!!!!
15:36:41 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Zig Ziglar has a great book called Born to Win. Has some good thoughts
15:36:56 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Oh thank you @Karen! I love new resources!
15:37:03 From Kristi  to Everyone : I am going to make it a point to make a personal connection with each of my students (not just names and faces) and really model and teach the growth mindset. 
15:37:22 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : Every year we would write notes to all the building staff. They could pick a couple people to recognize.
15:37:28 From Alexandra Strunk to Everyone : Help/support each teacher/student reach at least one goal for next month and/or give them at least one thing they can change/do differently for the better
15:37:47 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : remembering to model growth mindset! create and accomplish individual goals.
15:37:53 From John Redmond-Palmer to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Resource to put on your shelf Designing Your Life and Designing your Work Life
15:37:58 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I am going to make it a goal to start to get to know my students more so that I can feel like I am better able to help and support them personally 
15:38:00 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : I want spend the time to get to know all of my (future) students on an academic level and on a personal level.
15:38:04 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : We will do active pauses at least once every Zoom meeting. We will do Gratitude shares at the beginning of class. I will mention everyone’s name at least once every class meet 😊😊😊❤️
15:38:21 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I’m going to share these ideas with my co-op teacher
15:38:25 From Ilura Love to Everyone : My goal is to build a closer relationship with one of my students in particular. He is so introverted and hardly talks to anyone in the class, even my coteacher. It is hard to get him engaged through the day and I know it will help to build a personal relationship with him.
15:40:33 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I have a question about a kindergartner in my co-op class I’m student teaching in. This little girl has severe anxiety because her mother has mentioned that she is struggling and acting different at home as well as in school. She tells me her tummy hurts at least once a day. She also complains of her head hurting and she cries every day in class. My co-op assumes she has anxiety but I don’t think she really knows what to do for her because it always happens during lessons while she’s teaching or working with other students. What can I do to work with a kindergartner on this anxiety problem that she has from the constant changes and uncertainty with school and the world?
15:40:53 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!
15:41:16 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Thank you Tina. This day of positivity and smiles and music has be wonderful.
15:41:17 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : thank you so much for today! you are amazing!
15:41:24 From shaley to Everyone : Thank you!
15:41:24 From Leandra Montoya to Everyone : Thank you Tina this was amazing and valuable!
15:41:32 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : thank you!
15:41:39 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : Thank you so much!!! This was very valuable information :)
15:41:50 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : Thank you SO MUCH!! 👏👏👏👏😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️
15:41:52 From Ilura Love to Everyone : Thank you! Great class, so much to take away!
15:41:59 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Thank you Tina!  Great day!
15:42:07 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : GAH! You guys are amazing; thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
15:42:10 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : Thank you so much! this was all such helpful information, in both sessions! I had a wonderful time! 
15:42:15 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Have an incredible weekend!!!!!!!!!
15:42:17 From Kristi  to Everyone : This was such a wonderful day full of great information. Thank you so much!
15:42:56 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : This is tough, @Courney. Do you have a school counselor or social worker on site?
15:43:37 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : Yes I know there is a counselor for sure whom I have met in the building.
15:44:08 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : She/he might be a GREAT resource as they have lots of background and training in this.
15:44:20 From John Redmond-Palmer to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Tina thank you!  I believe there were a lot of great takeaways and hope you have a great weekend!
15:44:33 From Tina Boogren to John Redmond-Palmer(Direct Message) : Thank YOU!!!!!!!!!!
15:44:53 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : do you have interest inventory for her? Maybe  have something in the room that would be comforting for her..
15:44:59 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : Okay. I don’t want to overstep with my co-op either but I don’t think she knows how to help her with this either
15:45:13 From Susan Marenya to Everyone : she has never seen tv before..she is fascinated with all of you lol

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FFTs

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The first Unlocking Us podcast is here! Along with the excitement of sending this into the world, I'm feeling equal doses of fear, awkwardness, and vulnerability. In this episode I talk about my strategy for staying in tough first times versus tapping out and shutting down. When we get to the point that we only do things that we're already good at doing, we stop growing. And truly living.

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of six #1 New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning Spotify podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead.

Brené's books have been translated into more than 30 languages, and her titles include Atlas of the Heart, Dare to Lead, Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection. With Tarana Burke, she co-edited the best-selling anthology You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience.

Brené's TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views. Brené is the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix, and in March 2022, she launched a new show on HBO Max that focuses on her latest book, Atlas of the Heart.

Brené spends most of her time working in organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more-courageous cultures.

She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie, and a weird Bichon named Lucy.

Follow Brené

Brené Brown: Hi everyone, I'm Brené Brown, and this is Unlocking Us. You can hear me, like you can hear me smiling through my talking here. This is our very first Unlocking Us podcast and I am... I'm somewhere at the intersection of like maybe scared and excited, which is an intersection that I frequent often, but you'd think it'd get easier, but it doesn't always get easier. I think I've recorded three episodes, and I have to say, I love it. I want to do this for the rest of my life. As much as I love giving talks, I think I like listening even more. I love listening, I love learning, I love talking to people, and I've been an interviewer for 20 years, 25 years, it's just my... It's my thing. So welcome to the first episode of Unlocking Us. I will tell you this, and this is what we're going to talk about FFTs today, and here's where I'll start. As much as I love this new podcast, what I don't love is being new at things, and we're going to talk about being new at things today. I think for all of us, being new at something is incredibly vulnerable. Even when we're excited and committed and we're like, "I'm going to do this. I'm going to try this new thing," the awkward, uncomfortable time comes right after the excitement and it feels awful. And I can tell you if the definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, then being new at something is the epitome of vulnerability.

BB: What's also tricky, I think for me is, by the time you reach middle age, which I define "somewhere between late 30s and dead", by the time you reach middle age, you know that the only way to get to the other side of the discomfort of being new is to push right through the middle. Experience teaches us that as much as we want to fast forward through the hard, rocky parts of doing something that we've never done before, we just can't. And being new... Being new at big things is hard, but it's not just life's big moments, like new jobs or new roles or moving in with a new partner for the first time or having a baby, it's not just the big things that are tough when it comes to being new. Little things, small daily things can also push us in really tough ways. I'll give you an example. I have a Peloton bicycle. I'm sitting here with my sister Barrett, would you call it a bicycle, like...

Barrett Guillen: Bicycle.

BB: Are you sure?

BG: Yeah.

BB: She's shrugging her shoulders like, "I don't know. Don't put me on the spot." I don't know, I have a Peloton bike, I'm going to say that because that sounds cooler. I have a Peloton bike, so like... For spinning classes. So, I have a Peloton bike and I was so excited to get started, and the first five times I rode it, the whole time, I had this... I have a very difficult habit that when I'm trying something new, and I feel scared and like everyone is going to judge me, I always go to the, "This is bullshit. This is just bullshit." You should have seen me on this bike. I could not get clipped into it, so the first time I rode it, I rode it for 30 minutes, not even watching a class, just by myself, not clipped in, it didn't work at all. Then I finally learned how to get clipped into it, and I left my shoes clipped into my bicycle, my bike for three months. For three months, my bike just sat in my study with the shoes attached to it, because I couldn't get them off, I didn't know how to do it. Now I can get on and off and ride it but being new is hard. Another great small example. I just got bangs. Now, I have not had bangs since the '90s. And back then, they were like your standard issue breakup bangs. They came with a cigarette and a wine cooler, and you got them cut right after some asshole broke up with you.

BB: So, I got bangs. How long ago did I get bangs, about a month ago, two? About a month ago? [chuckle] I got bangs. And when I left the... I was going to call it a beauty parlor, but we'll call it... What's this... Salon. [chuckle] I need like a "what's cool?" translator for my podcast, I need to put something on the microphone so that when I say, "I left my pocketbook on the drainboard," it translates it to, "I left my purse on the counter." Anyway, so I got these bangs, and I was leaving the salon, because I'm too cool to go to a beauty parlor, but I left the salon and I thought they looked so cute. Well, let me just tell you, for the next four to five days, at least, I'd be late for work, I couldn't get my hair to work, all I could do is resort back to my... I had to rely on muscle memory in my wrist and my round brush and... Let me just tell you, I looked like Vince Neil. And if you don't know who Vince Neil is, you can Google Mötley Crüe, 1985. I just had big '80s hair, and everyone was trying to be very supportive. They would say things like, "Wow, still looks good after all these years. [chuckle] Would you like a wine cooler?" So hard things, hard where... New is hard and we don't like the discomfort.

BB: But something that I've seen over the past 20 years has really scared me. The last 20 years of research, I've seen how sometimes we all get so afraid of the vulnerability that we actually stop trying or doing anything that we're not already good at doing. So if it's not already comfortable, if we already don't have some expertise, if we don't already know how to do it and do it well, we're not doing it. Here's what's hard, and I think scary about that. When we give up being new and awkward, we stop growing, and we stop growing, we stop living. I love that quote from Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying." When we stop growing, we start declining, there's no neutral here. When we no longer feel that discomfort of being new, of being an awkward learner, things start to shut down inside of us. The discomfort of exploration of doing new things, of being an awkward rookie again, that's the juice, it's our lifeblood. It's the secret sauce.

BB: And here's the even bigger news, I think. The more we're willing to embrace the suck and try new things, the more new things we're willing to try. And it's not because being new gets comfortable, it's because we learn how to normalize discomfort. If there's one thing I know for sure, normalizing discomfort, learning how to stay standing in the midst of feeling unsure and uncertain, that's the foundation of courage. Imagine what it would be like to know that you can get through something that's vulnerable and uncomfortable, that you have what it takes to survive the cringey, awkward moments, as my kids would say, "That's so cringey, mom." Knowing that we have the strength to survive those moments and come out on the other side with new information, new ideas, new habits, new skills, that's how we get braver with our lives and with our hearts.

BB: So I want to share a strategy with you for embracing the suck of new, and I'm going to confess that I am 100% leaning in to that strategy right now. The strategy is called the FFT. Now, if you're social distancing right now, and you're home with your kids... And you're home with your kids, and someone who filters the language they hear, I'd like for you to walk slowly and calmly to your phone and take it off speaker. I'm going to tell you what FFT stands for. You may not want to blast this, or you may want to. Take your phone and hold it up to your ear for just a sec. I'll give you five, four, three, two, one. Okay, FFT stands for Fucking First Time, and right now it is saving me. I am white knuckling about five different FFTs right now, and without this strategy, I'd be out of my mind. The first most powerful part of the strategy is naming the FFT when you're in it, "Hey, what is going on right now? Why am I... Why do I feel out of control? Why do I feel like I don't know what I'm doing? Why am I in a shame spiral? Why am I so confused?" I'm like, "Is this an FFT? I'm in an FFT." So naming it is key to understanding it, because we're meaning-making species. We've got to have the meaning and we have to have language as a handle. So first we identify that we're in an FFT and we name it.

BB: Sometimes, and this is a really big myth, sometimes we're afraid to name experiences or feelings because we think naming them gives them power, and if we're feeling something hard or uncomfortable, the last thing we want to do is give it power. Let me dispel this myth now with 400,000 pieces of data and 20 years of research. When we name and own hard things, it does not give them power, it gives us power. And what do I mean by power? The best definition of power that I think exists in the world is from Martin Luther King Jr., "Power is the ability to effect change and achieve purpose." So if we put it all together, when we name and own hard things, it doesn't give the hard things power, it gives us the power to effect change and achieve purpose. So if we can say, "Oh my God, this is hard because I'm in an FFT," again, maybe it's something small, like trying to fix my bangs or ride my new bike, or your first yoga with goats class, or a new job, or a new relationship, "Why is this so hard? Oh, FFT. I'm in the FFT."

BB: And naming the FFT leads to three steps. One, we can normalize it, "Oh, this is exactly how new is supposed to feel. This is uncomfortable because brave is uncomfortable." Two, we can put it in perspective, "This feeling is not permanent, and it doesn't mean I suck at everything. It means I'm in the middle of an FFT around this one thing." Three, I can reality check my expectations, "This is going to suck for a while. I'm not going to crush this right away." And if you're interested in teaching your kids the FFT strategy, you can always call it TFT, terrible first times. And remember, the thing to teach them is when you're in a TFT, when they're at that first gymnastics class, or their first Spanish class, or their first spelling bee, or the first date, or the first time driving, when you're in a TFT, a terrible first time, what you're trying to do is normalize it, put it in perspective, and reality check your expectations.

BB: A great example that I can give you around the FFT and being new is when you're newly sober and you're working a 12-step program or many of the other programs, people will say you need to go to six meetings in six days, or you need to go to 10 meetings in 10 days. Why? Because expectation says, "I'm going to go to a meeting, someone's going to say something, and I'm going to be cured." We have terrible expectations around first times. We just set ourselves up for such shame and such disaster with our expectations. So if you go to six meetings in six days, this is how it normally works: Meeting one, it's the Brené approach, "This is bullshit. I don't know what I'm doing here, and these people are mostly losers, and I'm better than everyone here." Day two, "Okay, this again, just confirming what I thought. I shouldn't be here, I'm better than everyone here." Day three, "Well, I mean, maybe I'm not better than everyone here, maybe some of the things I'm hearing, maybe they're resonating, but this shit smells like cigarettes, and it's stale, the coffee is horrible. I just... It's not for me." Day four, "Okay, these are my people, and I need a cigarette and a cup of coffee, really bad coffee." That's the way it works. And so, name the FFT, and that leads us to normalizing, putting things in perspective, and reality checking.

BB: So I'm going to walk you through a couple of examples in my own life right now. And this is pretty vulnerable for me, but I thought, "Screw it. It's the first podcast. Go vulnerable or go home," that's my new motto. But I'm in a lot of FFTs right now. The podcast is one, advertising, which is part of the podcast, is another. And I'm not sure about you, but this is my first f'ing global pandemic. So I'm going to just be super honest with you about what FFTs feel like for me right now and walk you through naming them, what was going on before I named them, and then how I normalized, put things in perspective, and started reality checking.

BB: So let's start with the podcast, because you're here with me in it right now. You're not in an FFT because you're probably not listening to your first podcast, but I am in my FFT, and I'll tell you why.

BB: Because I did my first podcast... When did... When did I Thought It Was Just Me come out, like 2007? So I did my first podcast in 2007, I bought a little microphone, I set it up in my red kitchen table, and I did a read along podcast for 10 weeks, and it was so much fun, but then it kind of went away, and it got complicated for me, and I didn't know how to do all the feeds, at that time. It was hard, and I was doing it on GarageBand which seemed super complicated for me, so I kind of gave it up, but it's never left the back of my mind. And I just... To be honest with you, this has always felt like my dream job or dream medium, is building community and having real hard conversations about everything, from love to heart break. This is what I want to do.

BB: So we decided, "This is it, we're going to podcast." So we went whole hog. We transformed the downstairs space in our office to a beautiful podcast room with a green room, we found a wonderful partner, we set up interviews, we set up a big launch at South by Southwest, we did everything in my dream scape for this podcast, and then Corona came, and now I'm in a closet on top of my son's dirty Under Armour clothes. And, I have to say that I recorded my first podcast a couple of days ago, then after I recorded, I said, "I don't want to go on with my podcast to my community the first time, with other people. I just want to talk directly to y'all." I had to practice saying hi, I have to think about it right now, wait, do I have it written down somewhere, do I have a post it note? Check.

BG: Hey, everyone.

BB: No, oh, is it hey everyone?

BG: Yeah.

BB: What am I saying?

BG: Hey, everyone. This is Brené.

BB: Do I say hey or hi?

BG: Hi.

BB: Oh, hi, yeah. See, you suck too. [laughter] FFT. Hi, everyone. I'm Brené Brown.

BB: And this is Unlocking Us. [laughter] God, you see. I have practiced that 30 times because I didn't like it at first because it lacked something. So for some reason, I thought I would do something more around, "Hey, guys and gals, dolls and... " I don't know what comes with a doll, and my sister looked at me and said, "I think that's the guy from Grease. " I was like, "Shut up." It took me like 20 times to get this right, and I still can't really do it without looking. Then I tried to do something more serious, where I was going to get really close to the mic, because I saw that in a movie and I said, "Somewhere I saw this great podcaster talking into a mic with this kind of like... Not a sexy voice, but more of a, 'Hi, everyone, this is Brené Brown.'" Then I thought to myself, "Check, no, that's Pirate Radio. And he was the crazy guy who unzipped his pants and made the zipper sounds on his radio station as they were broadcasting from the ship."

BB: So all I'm saying is that I'm in an FFT, I don't know how it's all going to work. I don't know how it's all going to sound, but what I know is that I'm in an FFT, and it's hard and I want to be myself, but in those f'ing first times, we have a tendency to armor up and protect, and do things from movies or other ideas that usually move us away from being ourselves. In fact, when things started canceling and shifting, I called an emergency meeting of our leadership team, and within five minutes, we were all frustrated and we were kind of vying for, "Who's the most overwhelmed?" Is that true?

BG: Yes.

BB: And I just kept saying, "Y'all, the wheels are falling off of the podcast, the shit is hitting the fan, what's happening?" And then finally, and it might have been you, was it you Barrett? Someone said, maybe Suzanne, someone said, "FFT, we're in an FFT." It was like opening that little knob on the Instant Pot, wasn't it?

BG: Yes.

BB: It was like shhhhhh, just the pressure relief. Just naming it. We were like, "We're in an FFT." So what are the three things in an FFT? Normalize it, put it in perspective, reality check. So normalize it; This is exactly how we're supposed to feel, this is new, we don't know what we're doing. That's why it's so wobbly. That's why we're scared. That's why we don't know. We can't draw on history, we can't draw on experience, we can't say, "Oh, this is the way we did it, this is the way we really crushed it back when we did that podcast in '85." We are coming atcha, from a pile of dirty clothes, in a closet, without a net, because we're FFT'ing. Put it in perspective; The simple thing, again, not permanent, it doesn't mean we suck at everything. Let's remember, for us, this is how we're getting our FFT, getting through our FFT with a podcast, in five days, five weeks, or five months, when we look back, we might laugh a little and we will for sure say, "Do you remember when that was so hard? And here are the 25 things that we were super sure about doing back then that we would never do again." That's the reality of the first time, that's why it's the secret sauce, that's why it's the juice, that's why it keeps us growing and our brains firing. Last, reality checking expectations; Here is the universal reality check in the FFT, whether it is a parenting FFT, whether it is a professional FFT, this is a heavier lift than what we thought or expected.

BB: An emotionally heavier lift, a physically heavier lift, a strategy resource heavier lift. This is harder than we thought, and it's scary. So when you're in the FFT, you've got to remind yourself, it's going to take twice as long, be 10 times as hard, and I personally am going to be 25% more pissed off all the time because I don't do wobbly. And this is a great time, first podcast, I think I should just clear this up with them right now. If you're thinking Brené doesn't do wobbly? She's like the patron saint of vulnerability. The joke's on all of us. I believe in vulnerability, I try to practice it. I'm not really into it. I am not it. I am not. Don't let me be the representative of vulnerability. I'm the researcher, not the representative. I don't like wobbly. The other things that were shocking, when I say, "Reality check your expectation; the lift is going to be worse."

BB: So our partners Cadence13. We love them. They sent their audio engineer down to Houston to take our beautiful podcast space and set it up. So I thought he was going to come with maybe a handle bag, like a Nordstrom size handle bag with some microphones. I walk into the podcast space, there are 20 boxes, and he's under the table with a drill. And he kind of slides out and says, "Hey, your grandpa didn't build this or anything, right? I'm just drilling all into it." It took three 12-hour days to set up the podcast room, and 50 boxes of stuff.

BB: If you're like me, and you're not good at estimating time or energy or effort, the FFT will really F you up because it's always going to be harder than you thought. It's just going to be new, wobbly. But here's the thing new, wobbly, honest, coming right at you from the dirty clothes in the closet, in social distancing right now, I'm super glad you're here. Second thing that's very, very scary for me right now is advertising on this podcast. I've never done a paid ad in my life. I don't even stand close to podiums with brands on them when I speak in public. I don't talk about brands, nothing, nada. I think that's partly because of my academic training. If you do any type of brand work or take any money even like, I think it's over $5 or something. There's a shit ton of paperwork and I'm just not great at... I'm the paperwork person... I do the paperwork when I get the 14th email that says, "We're revoking everything, including your birth certificate." So I've never done any kind of brand work, ad work. I've just never done it.

BB: We went with an advertising model for this podcast because it makes the most sense to us. It's free, you can... Everyone can get it. But there are ads. And there have to be ads because we have a team of 10 people, and we have a huge partner, and people need to make a living. And it's not that I can't evangelize a product. So I come from a long line of evangelists. I have these very vivid memories of sitting at my grandmother's table in San Antonio, south side of San Antonio, over if you're San Antonian, hey, hey, over by McCreless Mall. And she'd come out of the kitchen wearing... She always wore a patchwork housecoat that snapped at the front, with pearl snaps, and she has square-toed cowboy boots, kind of like a bronzy leather with Eagles stamped on both sides of them. And she wore black cat-eye glasses until the very end, and I remember very distinctly sitting there one day, and I was sitting there with Curley, her husband who was a forklift driver for Pearl Brewery and said, "This is Jimmy Dean's new sausage. It has sage in it. Sage is a spice. This is the best sausage I've ever had, and you can get it too in the frozen food aisle at the Piggly Wiggly." She was the best ad person of her time.

BB: My mom was the same way. So she's... My mom still does ads, all the time. She'll say, "Try this lotion." "Oh, I'm good Ma." "Try this lotion. It's both silk and smoothing, but won't leave you feeling... " [chuckle] Okay, yes or no? I don't know. I don't know. We just have it. So I come from a long maternal line of cursers and evangelists. But I'm still anxious about it because I don't want to go through the new part of it. What if I can't do it? What if it sounds weird? What if I'm ridiculous? What if I'm embarrassed or I go into a shame spiral while I'm trying to say something? I just... It's going to be hard.

BB: So, I had a little FFT breakdown about the advertising. And my team looked at me and said, "FFT Brené. Normalize it, this is the first time. Put it into perspective, it won't always be hard, and set realistic expectations." I said, "What does that mean?" And they said, "Reality check the expectations, not only of yourself but the people around you. When we're in FFT, we have to reality set expectations for everyone." So I said, "Okay, let me think about this." Reality check expectations, even with external partners. Even if you're with your family, don't just reality check your expectations. Reality check them with your partner, with your kids. So I said, "Okay." We sat down, big leadership meeting, everyone from Cadence13, everyone from our side and I just was completely honest about expectations. I basically said, "I've got good news and bad news about the advertising. Good news, I can get really excited about things I love. The bad news, I will do no ads, zero, for anything that I do not love, period. If I don't love it, I'm not going to talk about it. And when I do talk about it, I'm not going to read anyone's copy." And you could just kind of see their faces going...

BB: Maybe I threw them into the... Maybe I threw them into an FFT. Oh, I definitely... [chuckle] Barrett's laughing and smiling. We definitely threw them into an FFT, and they said, "Say more about not reading the copy and only things you love." And I said, "I can't bullshit this community because I've spent over a decade building this community and I trust them, and I think they trust me." So if I love it, I'll talk to them about it freely, but I'm going to tell stories about it, and my own stories about it and why I love it, and that's not reading ad copy, and if I have never tried it or I just kind of like it a bit, I'm not going to sell it to them any more than I'd sell it to people that I love. So here's the thing, ads start next week. Our ad policy is straightforward, I like to call it, all BB, no BS. If I'm advertising it, then I believe in it, I'll tell you the story about why I love it, listen to it, use it or do it, and you can count on me for that.

BB: So normalize, this is new and sometimes I have intentionally stayed away from things like this. I feel weird but I feel less weird when I'm in my values. Perspective, I can't feel weird forever. I might even start to enjoy telling you about things I love. And expectations, there's this great quote... We're reality checking expectations as a part of dealing with our FFT. So this quote that I love, I've seen it attributed to Nelson Mandela, I've seen it attributed to Anne Lamott, well suffice it to say that some really smart person said, "Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen." So when as part of... In our FFT, we're in something new and hard, reality check expectations and that really minimizes resentment, I have saved the hardest FFT for last, the COV1D-19 pandemic. I think it's safe to say that this pandemic is a collective FFT, so let's just name that right off the bat.

BB: We don't know what we're doing, many of us are trying to make our kids feel reassured when we don't feel sure about anything, we're trying to be normal, but nothing is normal. And can I just also say it's the worst FFT ever? I mean, I'm a grown-ass person, but I do not know what I'm doing. So if I take the strategy that I use personally and professionally for the FFT, and we normalize it, put it in perspective and reality check expectations, here's what that looks like for me. Normalize it, we don't know how to do this, and by "this" I mean, we don't know how to social distance and stay sane. We don't know how to stay socially connected, but far apart. We're learning and we're getting better, and you can see that every day. We don't know what to tell our kids, we don't know exactly how to homeschool. I saw something on TikTok or Instagram that said, "I have home schooled for one day, every teacher should make one billion dollars a day."

BB: We don't know exactly what we're doing, we're anxious, we're uncertain, we are, a lot of us, afraid, and it is okay to feel all those feelings. And let me tell you this for sure, and I know this from my life, I know this from again, 20 years of research and 400,000 pieces of data, if you don't name what you're feeling, if you don't own the feelings and feel them, they will eat you alive. And if you're a parent, you can give your kids a sense of safety while also modeling and teaching them what not knowing and uncertainty looks and feels like. Helping your kids feel safe and secure during this time of uncertainty, and modeling what uncertainty can look like and feel like are not mutually exclusive. It is... That is that dual mind, that's being able to hold two different things that have a lot of tension and to have the strength to hold things like that, is really how we measure human intelligence and emotional intelligence.

BB: I know we want to try to make everything certain for our kids, and we think that's what makes them feel safe, but what happens is when they're away from us and then they feel uncertain, they think that automatically means they're unsafe and that's not the truth. So we can say, "We don't know what's happening, we're doing the best that we think we can do, it is scary, and that's okay to feel." But y'all, it's okay, let's just... It's okay to even be overwhelmed with emotion right now. You just have to name it and feel it, so if you're with people and you're social distancing with a group of people, have a check-in, one word to describe what you're feeling right now, one thing you're grateful for right now. If you're by yourself, reach out, and not text. Phone, or FaceTime, or Zoom, or something where you can see people or hear people, and just say, just check... One word check-in, "What's going on for you right now?"

BB: We did it to... Did we do that? Was that today? And we got everything from kind of settling in to uncertain to anxious, but just being able to say it, again, meaning-making species, we need language as handles to be able to say what we're feeling, to wrap words around it, allows us to start making meaning. Number two, putting this FFT of the pandemic in perspective, we don't know when this will end, but we do know it's not forever. And if you're a parent, remember that perspective is a function of experience, the less experience, the less perspective. If you have kids who are saying, "I'll never see my friends again," or, "I can't believe we're missing spring break." That lack of perspective is not always about selfishness, and we don't make them tougher or more empathic towards others by diminishing their feelings.

BB: Disappointment is something that a lot of us are feeling right now, and it's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to be safe, have enough food, have some resources and still feel disappointed, because denying your disappointment doesn't make you more empathetic towards people who have it a lot worse than you do, it makes us less empathetic. So all of the feels, all okay. Name them and talk about them. And then reality checking expectations, we've got to be more patient with each other. And as Harriet Lerner, my friend, says, "Listen with the same passion that you have for being heard," that's hard, because I have a lot of passion for wanting to be heard, and sometimes not very much passion for listening. We have to ask for what we need. We have to reality-check ourselves when we start drifting towards so-called experts that know everything and are offering certainty.

BB: One of the scariest times for us collectively is when we're vulnerable, because when we're vulnerable, people who call themselves leaders or experts can pop up and quickly gain our trust by selling and peddling certainty to us. And anyone who's certain right now, in my opinion... I mean not certain like, "Social distancing will be helpful, hand washing," but can tell you, "This is exactly what's happening. This is exactly when it's going to end. This is exactly who's going to get sick. This is exactly... " Anyone who is telling, "It's not a big deal. We're all okay." Anyone who is using anything but science and facts to give you certainty right now, in my opinion, needs to be reality checked.

BB: Exercise, sleep if you can, and also... Listen, all of these TikToks and Instagrams and Facebooks of our Italian neighbors and friends on their porches, singing, dancing, doing exercises together, I want a reality check that they're a solid week ahead of us, and I don't think we saw that from them when they were in day three, or day two, or day four of social distancing or quarantine. If I had an instrument right now, I would ask for a tuba because I'm with my entire family, my extended family, then we busted my mom and her husband out of assisted living when they went into lockdown there. And I would ask for a tuba and then I would crawl inside of it and hide, and then I'd ask someone to push the tuba down the hill in our backyard and rolling into it, into like the lake in the tuba. I'm not... I'm not leading a band right now. I'm... We're having... Are we having kind of a hard time? I'm looking at Barrett.

BG: Yup.

BB: What would you say?

BG: A lot of hard conversations. Definitely FFTs, definitely having to ask for what we need, having to say, "This is how I'm feeling. This is how I'm experiencing this," and making sure that we're all on the same page is the only way we're getting through.

BB: Yeah, she's really... She's really good. We had a hard conversation today.

BG: True. [chuckle]

BB: We did, that's why I'd like to climb into a tuba and roll down the hill. I don't even know where that came from. It's just the visual I have right now.

BG: It's fair.

BB: It's fair. We can't give up on each other y'all. We're all we have, even in the FFTs. So we're going to drop this podcast every Wednesday, once we find our footing. Next week, we're going to drop podcasts Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because we want to, and I'm excited about you hearing from some of the people I've interviewed. Monday, I'm talking to Tarana Burke, the founder of the "Me Too" movement, who is a dear friend, and we talk about everything from falling in love and sharing space with people that we love, namely, our partners. And then Tuesday, I'm going to talk to Glennon Doyle on her new book, Untamed. If you have not read Untamed yet, this is a book for these times, Untamed. It'll be really fun if you can get it, but what a great conversation I had with Glennon.

[music]

BB: I have not practiced a fancy sign off yet so I will just say I'm grateful for you, I think this is going to be fun. I think we're going to learn some stuff. I think we're going to get braver and hopefully unlock a little bit about what it means to be human in this crazy world. So this is Unlocking U s, thank you for listening.

© 2020 Brené Brown Education and Research Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Brown, B. (Host). (2020, March 20). Brené on FFTs. [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Cadence13. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-ffts/

Brené Brown: Hi everyone, I'm Brené Brown, and this is Unlocking Us. You can hear me, like you can hear me smiling through my talking here. This is our very first Unlocking Us podcast and I am... I'm somewhere at the intersection of like maybe scared and excited, which is an intersection that I frequent often, but you'd think it'd get easier, but it doesn't always get easier. I think I've recorded three episodes, and I have to say, I love it. I want to do this for the rest of my life. As much as I love giving talks, I think I like listening even more. I love listening, I love learning, I love talking to people, and I've been an interviewer for 20 years, 25 years, it's just my... It's my thing. So welcome to the first episode of Unlocking Us. I will tell you this, and this is what we're going to talk about FFTs today, and here's where I'll start. As much as I love this new podcast, what I don't love is being new at things, and we're going to talk about being new at things today. I think for all of us, being new at something is incredibly vulnerable. Even when we're excited and committed and we're like, "I'm going to do this. I'm going to try this new thing," the awkward, uncomfortable time comes right after the excitement and it feels awful. And I can tell you if the definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, then being new at something is the epitome of vulnerability.

BB: What's also tricky, I think for me is, by the time you reach middle age, which I define "somewhere between late 30s and dead", by the time you reach middle age, you know that the only way to get to the other side of the discomfort of being new is to push right through the middle. Experience teaches us that as much as we want to fast forward through the hard, rocky parts of doing something that we've never done before, we just can't. And being new... Being new at big things is hard, but it's not just life's big moments, like new jobs or new roles or moving in with a new partner for the first time or having a baby, it's not just the big things that are tough when it comes to being new. Little things, small daily things can also push us in really tough ways. I'll give you an example. I have a Peloton bicycle. I'm sitting here with my sister Barrett, would you call it a bicycle, like...

Barrett Guillen: Bicycle.

BB: Are you sure?

BG: Yeah.

BB: She's shrugging her shoulders like, "I don't know. Don't put me on the spot." I don't know, I have a Peloton bike, I'm going to say that because that sounds cooler. I have a Peloton bike, so like... For spinning classes. So, I have a Peloton bike and I was so excited to get started, and the first five times I rode it, the whole time, I had this... I have a very difficult habit that when I'm trying something new, and I feel scared and like everyone is going to judge me, I always go to the, "This is bullshit. This is just bullshit." You should have seen me on this bike. I could not get clipped into it, so the first time I rode it, I rode it for 30 minutes, not even watching a class, just by myself, not clipped in, it didn't work at all. Then I finally learned how to get clipped into it, and I left my shoes clipped into my bicycle, my bike for three months. For three months, my bike just sat in my study with the shoes attached to it, because I couldn't get them off, I didn't know how to do it. Now I can get on and off and ride it but being new is hard. Another great small example. I just got bangs. Now, I have not had bangs since the '90s. And back then, they were like your standard issue breakup bangs. They came with a cigarette and a wine cooler, and you got them cut right after some asshole broke up with you.

BB: So, I got bangs. How long ago did I get bangs, about a month ago, two? About a month ago? [chuckle] I got bangs. And when I left the... I was going to call it a beauty parlor, but we'll call it... What's this... Salon. [chuckle] I need like a "what's cool?" translator for my podcast, I need to put something on the microphone so that when I say, "I left my pocketbook on the drainboard," it translates it to, "I left my purse on the counter." Anyway, so I got these bangs, and I was leaving the salon, because I'm too cool to go to a beauty parlor, but I left the salon and I thought they looked so cute. Well, let me just tell you, for the next four to five days, at least, I'd be late for work, I couldn't get my hair to work, all I could do is resort back to my... I had to rely on muscle memory in my wrist and my round brush and... Let me just tell you, I looked like Vince Neil. And if you don't know who Vince Neil is, you can Google Mötley Crüe, 1985. I just had big '80s hair, and everyone was trying to be very supportive. They would say things like, "Wow, still looks good after all these years. [chuckle] Would you like a wine cooler?" So hard things, hard where... New is hard and we don't like the discomfort.

BB: But something that I've seen over the past 20 years has really scared me. The last 20 years of research, I've seen how sometimes we all get so afraid of the vulnerability that we actually stop trying or doing anything that we're not already good at doing. So if it's not already comfortable, if we already don't have some expertise, if we don't already know how to do it and do it well, we're not doing it. Here's what's hard, and I think scary about that. When we give up being new and awkward, we stop growing, and we stop growing, we stop living. I love that quote from Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying." When we stop growing, we start declining, there's no neutral here. When we no longer feel that discomfort of being new, of being an awkward learner, things start to shut down inside of us. The discomfort of exploration of doing new things, of being an awkward rookie again, that's the juice, it's our lifeblood. It's the secret sauce.

BB: And here's the even bigger news, I think. The more we're willing to embrace the suck and try new things, the more new things we're willing to try. And it's not because being new gets comfortable, it's because we learn how to normalize discomfort. If there's one thing I know for sure, normalizing discomfort, learning how to stay standing in the midst of feeling unsure and uncertain, that's the foundation of courage. Imagine what it would be like to know that you can get through something that's vulnerable and uncomfortable, that you have what it takes to survive the cringey, awkward moments, as my kids would say, "That's so cringey, mom." Knowing that we have the strength to survive those moments and come out on the other side with new information, new ideas, new habits, new skills, that's how we get braver with our lives and with our hearts.

BB: So I want to share a strategy with you for embracing the suck of new, and I'm going to confess that I am 100% leaning in to that strategy right now. The strategy is called the FFT. Now, if you're social distancing right now, and you're home with your kids... And you're home with your kids, and someone who filters the language they hear, I'd like for you to walk slowly and calmly to your phone and take it off speaker. I'm going to tell you what FFT stands for. You may not want to blast this, or you may want to. Take your phone and hold it up to your ear for just a sec. I'll give you five, four, three, two, one. Okay, FFT stands for Fucking First Time, and right now it is saving me. I am white knuckling about five different FFTs right now, and without this strategy, I'd be out of my mind. The first most powerful part of the strategy is naming the FFT when you're in it, "Hey, what is going on right now? Why am I... Why do I feel out of control? Why do I feel like I don't know what I'm doing? Why am I in a shame spiral? Why am I so confused?" I'm like, "Is this an FFT? I'm in an FFT." So naming it is key to understanding it, because we're meaning-making species. We've got to have the meaning and we have to have language as a handle. So first we identify that we're in an FFT and we name it.

BB: Sometimes, and this is a really big myth, sometimes we're afraid to name experiences or feelings because we think naming them gives them power, and if we're feeling something hard or uncomfortable, the last thing we want to do is give it power. Let me dispel this myth now with 400,000 pieces of data and 20 years of research. When we name and own hard things, it does not give them power, it gives us power. And what do I mean by power? The best definition of power that I think exists in the world is from Martin Luther King Jr., "Power is the ability to effect change and achieve purpose." So if we put it all together, when we name and own hard things, it doesn't give the hard things power, it gives us the power to effect change and achieve purpose. So if we can say, "Oh my God, this is hard because I'm in an FFT," again, maybe it's something small, like trying to fix my bangs or ride my new bike, or your first yoga with goats class, or a new job, or a new relationship, "Why is this so hard? Oh, FFT. I'm in the FFT."

BB: And naming the FFT leads to three steps. One, we can normalize it, "Oh, this is exactly how new is supposed to feel. This is uncomfortable because brave is uncomfortable." Two, we can put it in perspective, "This feeling is not permanent, and it doesn't mean I suck at everything. It means I'm in the middle of an FFT around this one thing." Three, I can reality check my expectations, "This is going to suck for a while. I'm not going to crush this right away." And if you're interested in teaching your kids the FFT strategy, you can always call it TFT, terrible first times. And remember, the thing to teach them is when you're in a TFT, when they're at that first gymnastics class, or their first Spanish class, or their first spelling bee, or the first date, or the first time driving, when you're in a TFT, a terrible first time, what you're trying to do is normalize it, put it in perspective, and reality check your expectations.

BB: A great example that I can give you around the FFT and being new is when you're newly sober and you're working a 12-step program or many of the other programs, people will say you need to go to six meetings in six days, or you need to go to 10 meetings in 10 days. Why? Because expectation says, "I'm going to go to a meeting, someone's going to say something, and I'm going to be cured." We have terrible expectations around first times. We just set ourselves up for such shame and such disaster with our expectations. So if you go to six meetings in six days, this is how it normally works: Meeting one, it's the Brené approach, "This is bullshit. I don't know what I'm doing here, and these people are mostly losers, and I'm better than everyone here." Day two, "Okay, this again, just confirming what I thought. I shouldn't be here, I'm better than everyone here." Day three, "Well, I mean, maybe I'm not better than everyone here, maybe some of the things I'm hearing, maybe they're resonating, but this shit smells like cigarettes, and it's stale, the coffee is horrible. I just... It's not for me." Day four, "Okay, these are my people, and I need a cigarette and a cup of coffee, really bad coffee." That's the way it works. And so, name the FFT, and that leads us to normalizing, putting things in perspective, and reality checking.

BB: So I'm going to walk you through a couple of examples in my own life right now. And this is pretty vulnerable for me, but I thought, "Screw it. It's the first podcast. Go vulnerable or go home," that's my new motto. But I'm in a lot of FFTs right now. The podcast is one, advertising, which is part of the podcast, is another. And I'm not sure about you, but this is my first f'ing global pandemic. So I'm going to just be super honest with you about what FFTs feel like for me right now and walk you through naming them, what was going on before I named them, and then how I normalized, put things in perspective, and started reality checking.

BB: So let's start with the podcast, because you're here with me in it right now. You're not in an FFT because you're probably not listening to your first podcast, but I am in my FFT, and I'll tell you why.

BB: Because I did my first podcast... When did... When did I Thought It Was Just Me come out, like 2007? So I did my first podcast in 2007, I bought a little microphone, I set it up in my red kitchen table, and I did a read along podcast for 10 weeks, and it was so much fun, but then it kind of went away, and it got complicated for me, and I didn't know how to do all the feeds, at that time. It was hard, and I was doing it on GarageBand which seemed super complicated for me, so I kind of gave it up, but it's never left the back of my mind. And I just... To be honest with you, this has always felt like my dream job or dream medium, is building community and having real hard conversations about everything, from love to heart break. This is what I want to do.

BB: So we decided, "This is it, we're going to podcast." So we went whole hog. We transformed the downstairs space in our office to a beautiful podcast room with a green room, we found a wonderful partner, we set up interviews, we set up a big launch at South by Southwest, we did everything in my dream scape for this podcast, and then Corona came, and now I'm in a closet on top of my son's dirty Under Armour clothes. And, I have to say that I recorded my first podcast a couple of days ago, then after I recorded, I said, "I don't want to go on with my podcast to my community the first time, with other people. I just want to talk directly to y'all." I had to practice saying hi, I have to think about it right now, wait, do I have it written down somewhere, do I have a post it note? Check.

BG: Hey, everyone.

BB: No, oh, is it hey everyone?

BG: Yeah.

BB: What am I saying?

BG: Hey, everyone. This is Brené.

BB: Do I say hey or hi?

BG: Hi.

BB: Oh, hi, yeah. See, you suck too. [laughter] FFT. Hi, everyone. I'm Brené Brown.

BB: And this is Unlocking Us. [laughter] God, you see. I have practiced that 30 times because I didn't like it at first because it lacked something. So for some reason, I thought I would do something more around, "Hey, guys and gals, dolls and... " I don't know what comes with a doll, and my sister looked at me and said, "I think that's the guy from Grease. " I was like, "Shut up." It took me like 20 times to get this right, and I still can't really do it without looking. Then I tried to do something more serious, where I was going to get really close to the mic, because I saw that in a movie and I said, "Somewhere I saw this great podcaster talking into a mic with this kind of like... Not a sexy voice, but more of a, 'Hi, everyone, this is Brené Brown.'" Then I thought to myself, "Check, no, that's Pirate Radio. And he was the crazy guy who unzipped his pants and made the zipper sounds on his radio station as they were broadcasting from the ship."

BB: So all I'm saying is that I'm in an FFT, I don't know how it's all going to work. I don't know how it's all going to sound, but what I know is that I'm in an FFT, and it's hard and I want to be myself, but in those f'ing first times, we have a tendency to armor up and protect, and do things from movies or other ideas that usually move us away from being ourselves. In fact, when things started canceling and shifting, I called an emergency meeting of our leadership team, and within five minutes, we were all frustrated and we were kind of vying for, "Who's the most overwhelmed?" Is that true?

BG: Yes.

BB: And I just kept saying, "Y'all, the wheels are falling off of the podcast, the shit is hitting the fan, what's happening?" And then finally, and it might have been you, was it you Barrett? Someone said, maybe Suzanne, someone said, "FFT, we're in an FFT." It was like opening that little knob on the Instant Pot, wasn't it?

BG: Yes.

BB: It was like shhhhhh, just the pressure relief. Just naming it. We were like, "We're in an FFT." So what are the three things in an FFT? Normalize it, put it in perspective, reality check. So normalize it; This is exactly how we're supposed to feel, this is new, we don't know what we're doing. That's why it's so wobbly. That's why we're scared. That's why we don't know. We can't draw on history, we can't draw on experience, we can't say, "Oh, this is the way we did it, this is the way we really crushed it back when we did that podcast in '85." We are coming atcha, from a pile of dirty clothes, in a closet, without a net, because we're FFT'ing. Put it in perspective; The simple thing, again, not permanent, it doesn't mean we suck at everything. Let's remember, for us, this is how we're getting our FFT, getting through our FFT with a podcast, in five days, five weeks, or five months, when we look back, we might laugh a little and we will for sure say, "Do you remember when that was so hard? And here are the 25 things that we were super sure about doing back then that we would never do again." That's the reality of the first time, that's why it's the secret sauce, that's why it's the juice, that's why it keeps us growing and our brains firing. Last, reality checking expectations; Here is the universal reality check in the FFT, whether it is a parenting FFT, whether it is a professional FFT, this is a heavier lift than what we thought or expected.

BB: An emotionally heavier lift, a physically heavier lift, a strategy resource heavier lift. This is harder than we thought, and it's scary. So when you're in the FFT, you've got to remind yourself, it's going to take twice as long, be 10 times as hard, and I personally am going to be 25% more pissed off all the time because I don't do wobbly. And this is a great time, first podcast, I think I should just clear this up with them right now. If you're thinking Brené doesn't do wobbly? She's like the patron saint of vulnerability. The joke's on all of us. I believe in vulnerability, I try to practice it. I'm not really into it. I am not it. I am not. Don't let me be the representative of vulnerability. I'm the researcher, not the representative. I don't like wobbly. The other things that were shocking, when I say, "Reality check your expectation; the lift is going to be worse."

BB: So our partners Cadence13. We love them. They sent their audio engineer down to Houston to take our beautiful podcast space and set it up. So I thought he was going to come with maybe a handle bag, like a Nordstrom size handle bag with some microphones. I walk into the podcast space, there are 20 boxes, and he's under the table with a drill. And he kind of slides out and says, "Hey, your grandpa didn't build this or anything, right? I'm just drilling all into it." It took three 12-hour days to set up the podcast room, and 50 boxes of stuff.

BB: If you're like me, and you're not good at estimating time or energy or effort, the FFT will really F you up because it's always going to be harder than you thought. It's just going to be new, wobbly. But here's the thing new, wobbly, honest, coming right at you from the dirty clothes in the closet, in social distancing right now, I'm super glad you're here. Second thing that's very, very scary for me right now is advertising on this podcast. I've never done a paid ad in my life. I don't even stand close to podiums with brands on them when I speak in public. I don't talk about brands, nothing, nada. I think that's partly because of my academic training. If you do any type of brand work or take any money even like, I think it's over $5 or something. There's a shit ton of paperwork and I'm just not great at... I'm the paperwork person... I do the paperwork when I get the 14th email that says, "We're revoking everything, including your birth certificate." So I've never done any kind of brand work, ad work. I've just never done it.

BB: We went with an advertising model for this podcast because it makes the most sense to us. It's free, you can... Everyone can get it. But there are ads. And there have to be ads because we have a team of 10 people, and we have a huge partner, and people need to make a living. And it's not that I can't evangelize a product. So I come from a long line of evangelists. I have these very vivid memories of sitting at my grandmother's table in San Antonio, south side of San Antonio, over if you're San Antonian, hey, hey, over by McCreless Mall. And she'd come out of the kitchen wearing... She always wore a patchwork housecoat that snapped at the front, with pearl snaps, and she has square-toed cowboy boots, kind of like a bronzy leather with Eagles stamped on both sides of them. And she wore black cat-eye glasses until the very end, and I remember very distinctly sitting there one day, and I was sitting there with Curley, her husband who was a forklift driver for Pearl Brewery and said, "This is Jimmy Dean's new sausage. It has sage in it. Sage is a spice. This is the best sausage I've ever had, and you can get it too in the frozen food aisle at the Piggly Wiggly." She was the best ad person of her time.

BB: My mom was the same way. So she's... My mom still does ads, all the time. She'll say, "Try this lotion." "Oh, I'm good Ma." "Try this lotion. It's both silk and smoothing, but won't leave you feeling... " [chuckle] Okay, yes or no? I don't know. I don't know. We just have it. So I come from a long maternal line of cursers and evangelists. But I'm still anxious about it because I don't want to go through the new part of it. What if I can't do it? What if it sounds weird? What if I'm ridiculous? What if I'm embarrassed or I go into a shame spiral while I'm trying to say something? I just... It's going to be hard.

BB: So, I had a little FFT breakdown about the advertising. And my team looked at me and said, "FFT Brené. Normalize it, this is the first time. Put it into perspective, it won't always be hard, and set realistic expectations." I said, "What does that mean?" And they said, "Reality check the expectations, not only of yourself but the people around you. When we're in FFT, we have to reality set expectations for everyone." So I said, "Okay, let me think about this." Reality check expectations, even with external partners. Even if you're with your family, don't just reality check your expectations. Reality check them with your partner, with your kids. So I said, "Okay." We sat down, big leadership meeting, everyone from Cadence13, everyone from our side and I just was completely honest about expectations. I basically said, "I've got good news and bad news about the advertising. Good news, I can get really excited about things I love. The bad news, I will do no ads, zero, for anything that I do not love, period. If I don't love it, I'm not going to talk about it. And when I do talk about it, I'm not going to read anyone's copy." And you could just kind of see their faces going...

BB: Maybe I threw them into the... Maybe I threw them into an FFT. Oh, I definitely... [chuckle] Barrett's laughing and smiling. We definitely threw them into an FFT, and they said, "Say more about not reading the copy and only things you love." And I said, "I can't bullshit this community because I've spent over a decade building this community and I trust them, and I think they trust me." So if I love it, I'll talk to them about it freely, but I'm going to tell stories about it, and my own stories about it and why I love it, and that's not reading ad copy, and if I have never tried it or I just kind of like it a bit, I'm not going to sell it to them any more than I'd sell it to people that I love. So here's the thing, ads start next week. Our ad policy is straightforward, I like to call it, all BB, no BS. If I'm advertising it, then I believe in it, I'll tell you the story about why I love it, listen to it, use it or do it, and you can count on me for that.

BB: So normalize, this is new and sometimes I have intentionally stayed away from things like this. I feel weird but I feel less weird when I'm in my values. Perspective, I can't feel weird forever. I might even start to enjoy telling you about things I love. And expectations, there's this great quote... We're reality checking expectations as a part of dealing with our FFT. So this quote that I love, I've seen it attributed to Nelson Mandela, I've seen it attributed to Anne Lamott, well suffice it to say that some really smart person said, "Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen." So when as part of... In our FFT, we're in something new and hard, reality check expectations and that really minimizes resentment, I have saved the hardest FFT for last, the COV1D-19 pandemic. I think it's safe to say that this pandemic is a collective FFT, so let's just name that right off the bat.

BB: We don't know what we're doing, many of us are trying to make our kids feel reassured when we don't feel sure about anything, we're trying to be normal, but nothing is normal. And can I just also say it's the worst FFT ever? I mean, I'm a grown-ass person, but I do not know what I'm doing. So if I take the strategy that I use personally and professionally for the FFT, and we normalize it, put it in perspective and reality check expectations, here's what that looks like for me. Normalize it, we don't know how to do this, and by "this" I mean, we don't know how to social distance and stay sane. We don't know how to stay socially connected, but far apart. We're learning and we're getting better, and you can see that every day. We don't know what to tell our kids, we don't know exactly how to homeschool. I saw something on TikTok or Instagram that said, "I have home schooled for one day, every teacher should make one billion dollars a day."

BB: We don't know exactly what we're doing, we're anxious, we're uncertain, we are, a lot of us, afraid, and it is okay to feel all those feelings. And let me tell you this for sure, and I know this from my life, I know this from again, 20 years of research and 400,000 pieces of data, if you don't name what you're feeling, if you don't own the feelings and feel them, they will eat you alive. And if you're a parent, you can give your kids a sense of safety while also modeling and teaching them what not knowing and uncertainty looks and feels like. Helping your kids feel safe and secure during this time of uncertainty, and modeling what uncertainty can look like and feel like are not mutually exclusive. It is... That is that dual mind, that's being able to hold two different things that have a lot of tension and to have the strength to hold things like that, is really how we measure human intelligence and emotional intelligence.

BB: I know we want to try to make everything certain for our kids, and we think that's what makes them feel safe, but what happens is when they're away from us and then they feel uncertain, they think that automatically means they're unsafe and that's not the truth. So we can say, "We don't know what's happening, we're doing the best that we think we can do, it is scary, and that's okay to feel." But y'all, it's okay, let's just... It's okay to even be overwhelmed with emotion right now. You just have to name it and feel it, so if you're with people and you're social distancing with a group of people, have a check-in, one word to describe what you're feeling right now, one thing you're grateful for right now. If you're by yourself, reach out, and not text. Phone, or FaceTime, or Zoom, or something where you can see people or hear people, and just say, just check... One word check-in, "What's going on for you right now?"

BB: We did it to... Did we do that? Was that today? And we got everything from kind of settling in to uncertain to anxious, but just being able to say it, again, meaning-making species, we need language as handles to be able to say what we're feeling, to wrap words around it, allows us to start making meaning. Number two, putting this FFT of the pandemic in perspective, we don't know when this will end, but we do know it's not forever. And if you're a parent, remember that perspective is a function of experience, the less experience, the less perspective. If you have kids who are saying, "I'll never see my friends again," or, "I can't believe we're missing spring break." That lack of perspective is not always about selfishness, and we don't make them tougher or more empathic towards others by diminishing their feelings.

BB: Disappointment is something that a lot of us are feeling right now, and it's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to be safe, have enough food, have some resources and still feel disappointed, because denying your disappointment doesn't make you more empathetic towards people who have it a lot worse than you do, it makes us less empathetic. So all of the feels, all okay. Name them and talk about them. And then reality checking expectations, we've got to be more patient with each other. And as Harriet Lerner, my friend, says, "Listen with the same passion that you have for being heard," that's hard, because I have a lot of passion for wanting to be heard, and sometimes not very much passion for listening. We have to ask for what we need. We have to reality-check ourselves when we start drifting towards so-called experts that know everything and are offering certainty.

BB: One of the scariest times for us collectively is when we're vulnerable, because when we're vulnerable, people who call themselves leaders or experts can pop up and quickly gain our trust by selling and peddling certainty to us. And anyone who's certain right now, in my opinion... I mean not certain like, "Social distancing will be helpful, hand washing," but can tell you, "This is exactly what's happening. This is exactly when it's going to end. This is exactly who's going to get sick. This is exactly... " Anyone who is telling, "It's not a big deal. We're all okay." Anyone who is using anything but science and facts to give you certainty right now, in my opinion, needs to be reality checked.

BB: Exercise, sleep if you can, and also... Listen, all of these TikToks and Instagrams and Facebooks of our Italian neighbors and friends on their porches, singing, dancing, doing exercises together, I want a reality check that they're a solid week ahead of us, and I don't think we saw that from them when they were in day three, or day two, or day four of social distancing or quarantine. If I had an instrument right now, I would ask for a tuba because I'm with my entire family, my extended family, then we busted my mom and her husband out of assisted living when they went into lockdown there. And I would ask for a tuba and then I would crawl inside of it and hide, and then I'd ask someone to push the tuba down the hill in our backyard and rolling into it, into like the lake in the tuba. I'm not... I'm not leading a band right now. I'm... We're having... Are we having kind of a hard time? I'm looking at Barrett.

BG: Yup.

BB: What would you say?

BG: A lot of hard conversations. Definitely FFTs, definitely having to ask for what we need, having to say, "This is how I'm feeling. This is how I'm experiencing this," and making sure that we're all on the same page is the only way we're getting through.

BB: Yeah, she's really... She's really good. We had a hard conversation today.

BG: True. [chuckle]

BB: We did, that's why I'd like to climb into a tuba and roll down the hill. I don't even know where that came from. It's just the visual I have right now.

BG: It's fair.

BB: It's fair. We can't give up on each other y'all. We're all we have, even in the FFTs. So we're going to drop this podcast every Wednesday, once we find our footing. Next week, we're going to drop podcasts Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because we want to, and I'm excited about you hearing from some of the people I've interviewed. Monday, I'm talking to Tarana Burke, the founder of the "Me Too" movement, who is a dear friend, and we talk about everything from falling in love and sharing space with people that we love, namely, our partners. And then Tuesday, I'm going to talk to Glennon Doyle on her new book, Untamed. If you have not read Untamed yet, this is a book for these times, Untamed. It'll be really fun if you can get it, but what a great conversation I had with Glennon.

[music]

BB: I have not practiced a fancy sign off yet so I will just say I'm grateful for you, I think this is going to be fun. I think we're going to learn some stuff. I think we're going to get braver and hopefully unlock a little bit about what it means to be human in this crazy world. So this is Unlocking U s, thank you for listening.

© 2020 Brené Brown Education and Research Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Unlocking Us Podcast with Attica Locke & Tembi Locke

Unlocking Us Podcast with Attica Locke & Tembi Locke

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The first Unlocking Us podcast is here! Along with the excitement of sending this into the world, I'm feeling equal doses of fear, awkwardness, and vulnerability. In this episode I talk about my strategy for staying in tough first times versus tapping out and shutting down.

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WALK THE MOON - Shut Up and Dance (Movie dance compilation)

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Burnout

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Atomic Habits

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Let Me Tell You More About The Book...

Atomic Habits is the most comprehensive and practical guide on how to create good habits, break bad ones, and get 1 percent better every day. I do not believe you will find a more actionable book on the subject of habits and improvement.

If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system.

Bad habits repeat themselves not because you don't want to change but because you have the wrong system for change. This is one of the core philosophies of Atomic Habits: You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. In this book, you'll get a proven plan that can take you to new heights.

James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, is known for his ability to distill complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. Here, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible.

Along the way, readers will be inspired and entertained with true stories about Olympic gold medalists, award-winning artists, business leaders, life-saving physicians, and star comedians who have used the science of small habits to master their craft and vault to the top of their field.

Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits-whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, and achieve success that lasts.

Browse our selection of the best Atomic Habits quotes or read the official Atomic Habits summary here.

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Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

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Packed with evidence-based strategies, Atomic Habits will teach you how to make small changes that will transform your habits and deliver amazing results.

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Matt Cutts

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Try something new for 30 days - Matt Cutts

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MORNING SESSION

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08:49:17 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Good morning; welcome!!!
08:49:28 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YAY!!!! It’s Friday!!!!
08:50:00 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I like you already, @Karen!!!
08:50:15 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Get to have face to face in person class on Monday
08:50:29 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : BEST. NEWS. EVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!
08:50:45 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : that's awesome! we have been face to face all year!
08:50:57 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Oh YAY!!!! What a difference that makes!
08:51:09 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : it has
08:52:44 From Tina Boogren to John Redmond-Palmer(Direct Message) : Good morning!!!
08:53:09 From John Redmond-Palmer to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Good morning!
08:53:52 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Being here and listening to Tinal recharge me.
08:54:29 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YAY!! I’m so happy to be here with all of you! It definitely feels like Friday!
08:55:42 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Welcome, everyone!! It’s so great to see your beautiful faces!
08:56:08 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Enjoy the music, get comfortable… this is a no-stress workshop!
08:56:18 From shawna.hanenberg@csupueblo.edu to Everyone : The beautiful sunrise I got to see and it's Friday and I'm excited about this!
08:56:39 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YAY! YAY!
08:56:59 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : It’s going to be 57 degrees in Denver today! I’ll take it!
08:57:18 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Looks like the same for you guys—nice!
08:58:02 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : my kids little laughs in the next room
08:58:07 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : It was a frosty morning though....the cold woke me up when I was going out for a morning walk.
08:58:28 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I’m impressed with your morning walk, @John!
08:58:36 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Little giggles are the BEST, @Julia!
08:58:46 From Kristi  to Everyone : I have ALL of my graduate homework done for the entire weekend so I can get outside with my family these next couple of days! Woo hoo!
08:58:58 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : BEST. FEELING. EVERRRRRRRRR, @Kristi!!!!!!
08:58:59 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I live in Canon City and it is cloudy here today, I love this kind of weather! 
08:59:11 From Mohamed Abdelrahman to Everyone : Good to see you all!
08:59:16 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Oh good! I hope you have a nice hot beverage, @Jessica!
08:59:25 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : I’m smiling because I was super productive this morning and my weekend will include friends and wine1
08:59:43 From montez to Everyone : That it is a warm enough day to go for a hike!
08:59:56 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : We’ll get started as soon as this song is done… I’m so happy you’re here! Enjoy the music, get comfy, and get ready for a great morning!
09:00:23 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I’m loving our January weather!!!
09:02:17 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : I am smiling because my cats are giving me attention
09:07:46 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : I am smiling because I love that we care about everyone’s wellbeing ❤️❤️❤️
09:19:40 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Me, too @Alegria!!!
09:19:44 From Dr. Lynn Knight to Everyone : Getting out early this morning and walking in nature with my puppy!
09:19:46 From Destinee Salazar to Everyone : My books
09:19:55 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I’m so happy you’re here; I’m already in a good mood!
09:19:57 From BROOKLYNN ROMERO to Everyone : I am smiling because I get to see my mom after her 2 and a half week quarantine :)
09:20:06 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Pikes Peak was beautiful today with the sun shining on it. Love Colorado
09:20:18 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : I have 2 puppies who I love! they did pound me every morning I sit down in the couch! morning snuggles
09:20:18 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I am smiling today because I have the opportunity to learn how to be a good teacher from other teachers and people in this career field that I love and am so excited to start in.
09:20:19 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : I am smiling because I got to watch the sun rise today.
09:20:20 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YAY!!! How lucky are we to live HERE?!?
09:20:26 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Tina's energy is making me smile!
09:20:36 From shaley to Everyone : I am smiling because I get this opportunity to be here with you all today! Love this opportunity.
09:20:46 From montez to Everyone : Im smiling because I got to finish my workout early this morning
09:25:17 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : 100
09:25:19 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : 100
09:25:22 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : 80
09:25:22 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : 128
09:25:23 From montez to Everyone : 120
09:25:24 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : 37
09:25:24 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : 100
09:25:28 From Destinee Salazar to Everyone : 110
09:25:30 From Dr. Lynn Knight to Everyone : 140
09:25:31 From Kristi  to Everyone : 75
09:25:35 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : 500
09:25:44 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : higher or lower!
09:36:21 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Morning ritual: coffee, gratitude, workout
09:36:29 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : Meal prepping dinners and working out first thing in the morning.
09:36:46 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YES! Rituals are key for me, too!
09:36:50 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Get up at the same time in morning 
09:37:02 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : I try to pack lunches for the week on Sunday. each night I get the rest of the items in the bag for my kids lunch.
09:37:04 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I pack my lunch the night before and because it gets so cold at night I take my lunch and everything else I need for the next day to the car so that all I have to remember in the morning is my purse and smoothie
09:37:04 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Meal prep
09:37:06 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : Meal prep is a lifesaver, picking out my whole week’s worth of clothes every Sunday, I like to practice lessons before I go to sleep and wake up early to give myself time to review them again in the morning before I get ready
09:37:08 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : I have my masks right next to the door so I don't forget it.  My keys and wallet are there too.
09:37:10 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Meal planning on Sundays has helped us a ton
09:37:22 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Laying clothes out the night before andput all stuff I need for school in one spot
09:37:24 From Dr. Lynn Knight to Everyone : Whether teaching at home or at work, keeping the same up time and tea/shower/dress ritual with yoga practice
09:37:27 From montez to Everyone : Pack lunch the night before, as well as making my bed everyday in the morning right before I leave
09:37:28 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : Working out in the morning before heading to the school.
09:37:30 From Kristi  to Everyone : meal prepping dinners as well, I have my own kids make pack their own lunches the night before, keys and mask hanging on a hook by the front door
09:37:34 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Morning quiet time
09:37:50 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : LOVE THESE!
09:38:13 From shaley to Everyone : Going for a morning walk
09:38:32 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Covid has forced uploading material for remote learning more frequently…make it a point to do this on Thursday for the next week so that 1) can be adjusted and 2) frees up the weekend
09:38:36 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : Morning coffee
09:38:39 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : Journaling at night. Writing the successes of the day and reminding myself of my short term and long term goals
09:57:07 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Stickers and straws! Stickers and straws!
09:57:08 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I try to set times throughout the day where I have a goal on how much water I want to have drank by that time. 
09:57:10 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I drink more water when I have a bottle with a straw because it’s more convenient
09:57:11 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : Having a straw in my bottle
09:57:19 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Make sure to drink between each class and set a goal of 2 hydros full day
09:57:22 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : I take water with me everywhere
09:57:26 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : water timer apps
09:57:27 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : I fill a gallon jug and then refill a smaller water bottle. then I can see how much I have drank. yes the straw helps
09:57:43 From BROOKLYNN ROMERO to Everyone : I like water bottles with straws, I casually drink water throughout the day
09:57:46 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YES to all of these!!!!! I think as Coloradans we do a good job with this!
09:57:49 From montez to Everyone : Make sure to take at least 5-8 gulps overtime I drink my water
09:57:54 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : straws are a major thing for me
09:58:09 From Kristi  to Everyone : I make sure to carry water with me everywhere I go, and I have to use a water bottle that keeps my water cold!
09:58:10 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : The first thing in the morning is water with lemon… I heard it was good for you?
09:58:42 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : balancing your PH levels
10:00:17 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : A bottle that has the oz. on it helps me. Room temperature at most times and add ice for fun!
10:02:24 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : Maintain the same sleep schedule, even on weekends.
10:02:29 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I set an alarm to GO TO BED; this keeps me from staying up too late in front of a screen
10:02:29 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Eat less, move more, and prioritize sleep no matter what
10:02:29 From David Wood to Everyone : Having a partner to keep you accountable.
10:02:33 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : for me sleep is more sound when I use the sleep sounds skill on my echo that plays ocean waves
10:02:49 From montez to Everyone : For exercise I will either ride my bike and listen to ted talks, and if I don’t do that then I will take my dog for a walk at the reservoir!
10:02:49 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I love the Calm app to help me fall asleep!
10:02:54 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I force myself to get 8 hours of sleep minimum and in the morning I drink apple cider vinegar and water and then make coffee with MCT oil and collagen powder to help me feel ready and awake for the day
10:02:56 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : I love this music!!
10:02:58 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I
10:03:07 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I give myself a bedtime so that I can make sure that I have a certain amount of sleep every night. 
10:03:07 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : This song SLAYS me! 😂😂😂😂
10:03:08 From Tuyet Nguyen-Medrano to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Hi Tina, will I be able to have access to the slide deck to catch up? I was not able to hop on at the start
10:03:21 From Kristi  to Everyone : I've lost 40 pounds so far by making it a habit of getting on the treadmill foe 30 mins in the morning and tracking my food (not following any diets, just being more sensible and accountable)
10:03:28 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : Screen time monitoring. Committing to no screens after a certain time of night
10:03:30 From Tina Boogren to Tuyet Nguyen-Medrano(Direct Message) : YES! I’ll post the slides on the Padlet later! Welcome! I’m so happy you’re here!
10:03:33 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : go to bed at same time everyday and using the bedtime feature on iPhone that silences on the phone until your wake up time
10:03:33 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Same sleep time evryday
10:03:35 From Tuyet Nguyen-Medrano to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Thank you!
10:03:37 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : I run with my son to keep me motivated because I want to set a good example
10:04:54 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : I watch a silly Netflix show while on the treadmill and can only watch it if I am on the treadmill. 😊😊😊 I stop it half episode so I want to come back the next day…
10:08:23 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : That’s GENIUS, @Alegria! I’m going to try that!
10:08:53 From Shawna Hanenberg to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : What is the name of this Ted Talk please? Missed it
10:09:18 From Tina Boogren to Shawna Hanenberg(Direct Message) : You bet! Matt Cutts 30 Day Challenges—I’ll post the link on the Padlet, too!
10:09:34 From Shawna Hanenberg to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : You ROCK!
10:09:42 From Tina Boogren to Shawna Hanenberg(Direct Message) : No YOU do!
10:10:59 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : I just finished a 21 day meditation challenge and can't wait to do something else
10:11:08 From montez to Everyone : Drink more water!!!
10:11:13 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Reduce the amount of diet pepsi consumed per day
10:11:15 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : Start and finish a musical composition in 30 days.
10:11:36 From Julia Medeiros to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : 30 days of yoga
10:11:36 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : 30 day challenge to go to sleep before 10 pm
10:11:42 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : Try and do some sort of workout at home if I don’t have time to get to the gym every day so that I’m still working out every day. And drink the same consistent amount of water every day to get me in a routine
10:11:43 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : walk for 30 minutes every morning
10:11:45 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : NICE! I love these!
10:11:48 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : This last week I started making myself make my bed each morning. So that the house is clean when I come.
10:11:50 From BROOKLYNN ROMERO to Everyone : I want to give up fast food and junk food for 30 days
10:11:57 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : I want to not order fast food and actually cook all my meals
10:12:05 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : journal daily
10:12:07 From Tuyet Nguyen-Medrano to Everyone : Consistently take breaks and walk around the neighborhood w/ my dog instead of sitting at the screen all day.
10:12:10 From shaley to Everyone : Clean eating
10:12:24 From Kristi  to Everyone : I want to start a gratitude journal
10:12:26 From Julia Medeiros to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : 30 days no spending
10:12:37 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : cleaning a part of the house everyday
10:13:01 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Practicing Gratitude is life changing!
10:14:54 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : We are doing Gratitude challenge in my class with my students, in Spanish! I am loving it! ❤️❤️❤️
10:16:38 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : @Jessica https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sK3wJAxGfs
10:26:15 From Tuyet Nguyen-Medrano to Everyone : I feel safe when I’m being heard and acknowledged.
10:26:18 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : I am comfortable
10:26:20 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : I feel safe when I fell heard and connected
10:26:22 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : I feel safe when I am alone.
10:26:22 From Destinee Salazar to Everyone : Reading
10:26:23 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : l feel safe when …. I am talking with my mom
10:26:24 From BROOKLYNN ROMERO to Everyone : I feel safe when I am not in any rush
10:26:36 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I feel safe when I turn OFF the news
10:26:42 From Karen Marley to Everyone : I feel safe when I am in front of my class interacting
10:26:50 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I feel safe when I’m outside walking/hiking with my husband
10:26:51 From montez to Everyone : I feel safe when I go for walks
10:26:57 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : I feel safe when I am watching Golden Girls
10:26:58 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : I feel safe when I am cuddling with my daughter and husband watching a movie
10:27:03 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I feel safe when I know someone and experience something with a friendly face rather than alone
10:27:04 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YESSSSSSSS, @John!!!!!!
10:27:07 From Kristi  to Everyone : I feel safe when I am spending enough time with my husband and kids.
10:27:20 From shaley to Everyone : I feel safe when I listen to music or spend time with family 
10:27:31 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I feel safe when I give myself time to check my phone throught the day so that I am not stressing about something having happened to someone I love and me not knowing anything is wrong. 
10:27:31 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : I feel safe when I am with my partner
10:27:47 From Kristi  to Everyone : I also feel safe when I'm being supported by colleagues
10:27:59 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : I feel safe when I pre-plan and don't procrastinate work and when I am rested
10:30:18 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : 10:45!!!!
10:38:26 From Leann McIntire to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : This has been amazing for my wellbeing. Even though I had to take my middle son to the dr, I listened until he walked into the room. I am so excited to be able to do this with you today!
10:43:14 From Tina Boogren to Leann McIntire(Direct Message) : Oh yaaaaaay! I am so glad you’re here! ❤️
10:45:34 From Shawna Hanenberg to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Thank you for being awesome!
10:49:52 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Learning how to add music to zoom classes sounds great!
10:52:35 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : This makes me want to watch movies all weekend!
10:53:13 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : Teacher movie party!!
10:53:21 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YESSSSSS!
10:55:38 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Thunderstruck, anything by George Strait, Fresh Eyes
10:55:58 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I love Motown!
10:56:07 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : Happy, Try Everything,
10:56:12 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Dixieland Delight-Shoop - You Never Met a MF Like Me
10:56:24 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Anything from Dirty Dancing or Saturday night Fever
10:56:25 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : SHOOP! I totally forgot about that fantastic songg!
10:56:26 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : Yeah by Usher, anything by Madonna
10:56:27 From Dr. Lynn Knight to Everyone : Rock around the Clock
10:56:28 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : Azuiquita!!! https://youtu.be/mGN3kfEk_P4
10:56:33 From Kristi  to Everyone : Can't Stop the Feeling- Justin Timberlake, 
10:56:39 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : JT!!!
10:56:44 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : A Better Place A Better Time by Streetlight Manifesto, Lucille by Little Richard, and Hymn of Acxiom by Vienna Teng
10:56:49 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Let it Go!, Thriller
10:56:51 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Yes Kristi!
10:56:59 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : Summertime Sadness -Lana Del Rey
10:57:05 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : One Day More
10:57:13 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : “Tweedle Dee” by LaVern Baker, anything by Prince,
10:57:18 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : 1) Don't Stop Believin' 2)Hurricane by Luke Combs
10:57:27 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : hey pretty girl, circles, and dont stop believin
10:57:36 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Duh Shawna Don't stop believin'!!
10:58:05 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : @Jessica circles!!!
11:02:24 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : The PRAXIS coordinator made students in the TEP do this when prepping for the test together. It was so cool
11:14:36 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : movie night/ favorite show watching
11:14:42 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : We do a family Zoom every Sunday and I looooove it
11:14:43 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : FaceTime, watching a movie together
11:14:50 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Facetime
11:14:55 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : webinars for self improvement - books in our department- walking with Shawna
11:15:02 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : Family FaceTime's on occasion
11:15:08 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : Zoomba!! I dance once a week a group of friends and our Zoomba instructor ❤️❤️❤️
11:15:12 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I love to ‘walk-and-talk’ with friends, too!
11:15:15 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : Planned a trip for June to visit my brother  and family who I have not seen for 2 years.
11:15:16 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I’m in a co-ed fraternity on campus and we have game nights through Kahoot, movie nights, and make crafts for each other to send
11:15:18 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : daily text message to have a great and safe day
11:15:31 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Sunday night zoom with our kids away at School
11:15:35 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : So FUN!
11:15:36 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : Game night - Have you tried Jackbox games??? Amazing and soooo fun!!!
11:15:40 From Dr. Lynn Knight to Everyone : Plan for a future trip together. Keep up with Yoga class by Zoom.
11:15:42 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : Text messages and snapchat
11:15:48 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Making a plan for family reunion
11:16:06 From Kristi  to Everyone : My girlfriends and I are trying something new every couple weeks on Zoom. We've made sourdough bread, weird recipes, tried (and failed) at crochet...but having tons of fun!
11:16:07 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Future planning for celebrations feels so hopeful!
11:18:36 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Something that I was cognizant of until after losing someone I know to suicide
11:20:13 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Bored Teachers
11:31:46 From Karen Marley to Everyone : I can laugh at myself
11:31:48 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : I've learned to laugh at myself without hurt feelings
11:31:48 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I just keep laughing!
11:31:51 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Content knowledge is not my strength, but engaging learners is my superpower!
11:31:54 From montez to Everyone : laughter!
11:31:58 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : I am staying positive and able to laugh. I have tried lots of new technology and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!
11:31:59 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : I am looking for the silver lining
11:32:01 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : Yes Brandi!!
11:32:03 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I have started to learn how to love myself 
11:32:15 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I’ve always said that optimism is the key to success so positivity and an optimistic attitude gets me further than complaining and being negative about this situation
11:32:16 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I have goosebumps; I love these! ❤️
11:32:29 From Kristi  to Everyone : I've gotten so great at adapting over the past year!!
11:32:30 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : I tell myself the positive thing first
11:32:34 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : Learning how to spend time with my husband 24/7
11:32:44 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : I've been trying to stay more optimistic
11:32:50 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Amen to that, @John!!!! Here, too 😳
11:42:50 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : I am so thankful to John for inviting me to this!
11:43:23 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : I’m going to share my gratitude here… I am so so sooooo grateful that I got to spend my morning with all of you. Thank you for going ALL IN. Thank you for what you do every day for your students. Thank you for being so full of awesome! ❤️❤️❤️
11:45:26 From Karen Marley to Everyone : This morning was awesome!!!!! This session Rocks! Thanks Tina!!!!!!!
11:47:50 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Agreed! I really enjoyed a grew from interacting today. Can you please put up the QR code again at the end of the presentation? See you at 1 p.m.
11:47:59 From Leann McIntire to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : Can you share the padlet link again?
11:48:01 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : and*
11:48:54 From Tyler Perea to Everyone : I'm going to start a new 30 day challenge
11:48:58 From Rebecca Jaramillo to Everyone : I am committing to completing a 30 day challenge
11:48:59 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YES—I’ll share the Padlet link again in just a second!
11:49:01 From Shawna Hanenberg to Everyone : multi-task less. Read a personal development book in between fun books
11:49:08 From Julia Medeiros to Everyone : My commitment in 2021 is to push my family to do more together away from the tv.
11:49:11 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Committing to self-care daily: reading!
11:49:12 From Dr. Lynn Knight to Everyone : I am going to commit to doing more mindfulness practices with my students
11:49:16 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : I am going to express gratitude more often.
11:49:21 From Leann McIntire to Everyone : I commit to MAKING time for me to be the best me possible. I commit to making a 21 for 2021 list as a family. I commit to to doing a 30 day challenge.
11:49:23 From Karen Marley to Everyone : Learn more computer technology, read a fun book
11:49:23 From Courtney Monter to Everyone : I bought books to make myself make time to read for fun more and I’m going to drink more water and go to the gym after our session gets out at 4 later today
11:49:24 From Kristi  to Everyone : I'm going to continue my healthy food and water challenge and start my gratitude journal 
11:49:30 From Jessica Shehorn to Everyone : I am going to work on dealilng with my anxiety in a healthier way
11:49:31 From shaley to Everyone : Practice a positive mindset and clean eating
11:49:41 From BROOKLYNN ROMERO to Everyone : I commit to self care and being the best teacher I can be
11:49:59 From montez to Everyone : Showing more gratitude, and keeping more of an open mind
11:49:59 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : I am committed to checking-in with myself daily and taking care of whatever need I have instead of waiting for burnout
11:50:07 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Share strategies learned today with students and colleges
11:50:20 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! These are INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!
11:50:21 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Apparently,I can’t spell
11:50:31 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : You’re FLAWSOME, @Brandi
11:50:33 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : flawsome!
11:50:35 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : 😂😂
11:50:36 From John Redmond-Palmer to Everyone : checking in with myself is also something I need to commit to.
11:52:14 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : 30 day challenge to take a “pausa activa” every day for the next 30 days! https://youtu.be/MKWS01BBpLg
11:55:51 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Do you mind if I use a few slides for my Health and Wellness class? I will credit you and also promote your books and social media!
11:55:56 From John Redmond-Palmer to Tina Boogren(Direct Message) : THank you!  Looking forward to this afternoon.  Made me think of new ways to approach self-care in these times.
11:56:00 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : YES! I appreciate you asking, @Brandi!
11:56:16 From Alegria Ribadeneira to Everyone : Thank you!!! 👏👏👏❤️
11:56:20 From Brandi Menegatti to Everyone : Thank you and see you in a bit
11:56:21 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Thanks, guys! I loved my time with you!
11:56:26 From Taylor Gordon to Everyone : Thank you!!! See you at 1pm
11:56:28 From Tina Boogren to Everyone : Take time to EAT LUNCH!
11:56:34 From BROOKLYNN ROMERO to Everyone : Thank you for this!

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Motivating & Inspiring Students

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Self-Care for Educators

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(for adults)

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React vs. Respond

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8 things to say to an anxious child

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Self-Care for Educators

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(Resources)

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Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know.

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Monthly tracker

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15 Tips to Help You Work-Out More Consistenly

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15 Tips to Help You Work-Out More Consistenly

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Article

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Amazon link to resources

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Tina H. Boogren: books, biography, latest update

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Follow Tina H. Boogren and explore their bibliography from Amazon.com's Tina H. Boogren Author Page.

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For students and/or staff

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via Spotify

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How to Configure Your iPhone to Work for You, Not Against You