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Why Do Kids Swear?

"Kids say the darnedest things" is a saying that we've all heard. And if you're a parent, you know just how true it is. But when they utter expletives, it can be rather shocking.

When very young children swear, it's usually a matter of repeating things they've heard. They are just learning to use language to communicate, so they mimic any word they can. They are not trying to hurt or offend anyone, they're just developing verbal skills.

Older children swear for a number of reasons. If it's a word they don't hear often, they may be using it because they do not realize that it is offensive. They might just think it's a cool new word to try. When adults say swear words they tend to emphasize them, which makes them all the more appealing to youngsters.

Kids may also use swear words in an effort to get attention. As a parent, it usually takes us by surprise when our children use such language. It's not easy to ignore it, especially when it comes out of the blue. So we get upset, or perhaps we laugh. Either way, the child receives attention. Our kids pick up on this, and the next time they're craving attention, they remember the word that got them attention before. Unfortunately, this often happens at the most inopportune times, such as when waiting in a busy checkout line at the grocery store.

When kids get a little older, they often begin to realize that curse words are viewed as offensive. This is why many children who swear when they are young quit swearing during the preschool or early elementary years. But some keep those swear words filed away for future use. They bring them out when they are feeling frustrated or want to hurt others. And there are some kids who use curse words just to show off in front of their peers.

Where Do They Learn Swear Words?

Kids learn swear words from a variety of sources. And as much as we might not want to admit it, one of the main places they hear these words is at home. Even parents who do their best not to swear in public often swear at home. Even if it just happens when you stub your toe, your child is likely to pick up on it.

Children may also hear swear words on TV and in movies. Many cartoons even contain language that we wouldn't want our children using, if not outright curse words. This is yet another reason why it's important to monitor the things our children watch.

Even the most sheltered child is bound to hear a swear word at some point. If you're lucky, he will never repeat it. But the fact is that most children do use a curse word at some point. If you take it in stride, you may never hear it again. And if you do, a calm explanation of why it is inappropriate could nip your child's swearing in the bud.

What to Do When Kids Start Cursing

Some parents carefully watch every word that comes out of their mouths. Others let a curse word slip from time to time. But no matter which category you fall into, hearing your child curse isn't a pleasant experience.
Whether you find it amusing or appalling, the last thing you want is for your child to say a swear-word at the wrong time. And most parents agree that swearing is a horrible and offensive habit that they don't want their kids to develop. So what do you do when your child starts cursing? Here are a few tips.

1. Don't overreact. If you make a big scene when your child utters a dirty word, there's a good chance that it will reinforce the behavior. He could use the word again when he craves attention, or he might decide that it's a good word to use when he wants to get under your skin.

2. Do your best not to laugh. Whether you truly find it amusing or just giggle nervously, this could also cause a repeat occurrence. Your child will see that he made you laugh, and he might use the same word again when he wants to be funny.

3. Avoid confronting your child about swearing when he does it when angry or upset. This will only add fuel to the fire in most cases. Work through the problem at hand, and discuss the bad language at a calmer time.

4. Watch your own language a little more closely. Kids often pick up curse words at home, and if you use them frequently, they are more likely to think it's acceptable to do so themselves.

5. Take your child's age into consideration. Children who are just learning to talk usually do not realize that swear words are bad. So scolding them when they use them serves little purpose. In many cases, if you just ignore it, they won't say it again.

6. If your child has more developed language skills, a calm and simple explanation of why they shouldn't swear will often solve the problem. If you tell them that a word is not nice, there's a good chance that they will cease to use it.

7. Older children who know that swear-words are bad may need to be disciplined when they use them. Depending on their age and the circumstances, time out, suspension of certain privileges or grounding may be appropriate.

8. Consider the context of the swear-word. Calling someone a bad name is much more hurtful than swearing because you tripped and fell. Both should be discouraged, but make sure the punishment fits the crime.

9. When you slip and say a curse word, apologize. Doing so will set a good example for your child.

10. Offer more acceptable alternatives to swearing. There are plenty of words in the English language that are not so offensive. You could even encourage your child to make up his own silly expressions to use instead of curse words.

These days, few kids get through childhood without saying a single curse word. When your child swears, don't take it too hard. As long as you make it clear that such words are unacceptable, the chances of your little angel developing an incurable potty mouth are very slim.

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Handling Swearing & Cursing: A Guide for Parents

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Why Do Kids Swear? "Kids say the darnedest things" is a saying that we've all heard. And if you're a parent, you know just how true it is. But when they utter expletives, it can be rather shocking. When very young children swear, it's usually a matter of repeating things they've heard.

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Nutrition dictates more than a person's body mass index. The nutrition a child receives during the first few years of life can affect her health for years to come. Balanced nutrition is important to child development because children need specific nutrients to thrive and grow. Poor nutrition can result from lack of food as well as overeating, since nutrition is about more than simple caloric intake. Proper child development relies on a solid nutritional foundation, which includes the correct amount of each nutrient.

Physical Growth

A study published in the "New England Journal of Medicine" by doctors H. Peter Chase and Harold P. Martin measured children who were hospitalized for undernutrition during their first year of life. The doctors found that these children were consistently smaller than children who had not experienced undernutrition, even three and four years later. At the other end of the spectrum, the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics suggests that poor nutrition in the form of overfeeding can contribute to weight issues later in a child's life.

Intellectual Development and Education

A 2010 study from "The Journal of Nutrition" found that undernourished 2-year-olds were 16 percent more likely to fail at least one grade in school and entered school later than their well-nourished counterparts. The scientists behind the study determined that this could decrease the child's lifetime income by about 10 percent. The United Nations Standing Committee on Nutrition says that even in mild or moderate situations, stunted growth resulting from poor nutrition is correlated with poor academic performance and lowered mental capacity.

Emotional and Psychological Development

Poor nutrition can pave the road to emotional or psychological development issues. Dr. Lawrence Wilson from the Center for Development has studied psychiatric issues in relationship to hair sample mineral analysis in children. Some minerals, such as calcium, have proved to be extremely important for emotional development. Wilson's research has shown developmental emotional issues related to autism, hyperactivity, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and anxiety are associated with some nutritional imbalances.

Behavioral Development

Dr. David E. Barrett, a Harvard Medical School psychologist, and Dr. Marian Radke-Yarrow, a National Institutes of Health child development psychologist, performed research focused on behavioral issues in 6- to 8-year-old children. Their research showed that social behaviors were even more susceptible to the negative effects of poor nutrition than learning functions were. The children in the study who had poor nutrition during the critical two-year period after birth appeared withdrawn, less active and were less helpful than their well-nourished counterparts.

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How Poor Nutrition Affects Child Development

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Nutrition dictates more than a person's body mass index. The nutrition a child receives during the first few years of life can affect her health for years to come. Balanced nutrition is important to child development because children need specific nutrients to thrive and grow.

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Challenges for children with bad home life

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Challenges for children with bad home life

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September 13 2016

Helping children to deal with worries and stress will help them grow into resilient adults.

Just like adults, young children have worries that cause stress. Adults may worry about job security or a fight with a partner, while children may stress about a friend moving away or losing their favourite toy. But in much the same way as grown-ups, children who use positive coping strategies are more likely to work through their worries, reduce stress and bounce back from difficulties. And children who develop these helpful coping strategies are more likely to become resilient, mentally healthy adults. Who are the best teachers of coping skills for children? You guessed it: parents.

Why are coping skills important?

Coping skills are what we think and do to help us get through difficult situations, which, as much as we wish they weren't, are an unavoidable part of life. Psychologist Associate Professor Erica Frydenberg from the Melbourne Graduate School of Education says for children aged four to six these situations are often things like saying goodbye to a parent at kinder or school, having to try something new or wanting to belong to a group of friends.

She says helping children to cope with these sorts of worries will equip them with skills to cope with adult-sized problems later in life and help to reduce the risk of mental health problems like depression and anxiety, which affect an estimated one in seven school-age children.

"What we have found with our work is that starting these conversations about coping early on helps children develop good coping habits," says Associate Professor Frydenberg. "We need to teach children to manage those worries so they don't become uncontrollable worries because that's what poor mental health is - when you don't feel you have the resources to manage situations that are challenging or difficult. It's inevitable that we'll have anxiety as we go through life but problems occur when it goes on for too long without being managed or dealt with."

How can parents help children develop helpful coping strategies?

Associate Professor Frydenberg FAPS* says parents can help children to cope by discouraging unhelpful strategies - like excessive crying, tantrums, blaming oneself and anger - and encouraging helpful strategies such as asking for help, saying sorry and staying calm.

She says encouraging children to talk to an adult about their worries is particularly effective when it leads to conversations about coping. In fact, children as young as four and five have, on average, 36 ways of describing how they cope that can be used in conversations.

"What parents can do is acknowledge the upset of children and talk about the different ways children can deal with a situation," says Associate Professor Frydenberg. "We find that even saying that to children generally develops a positive reaction and generates some ideas about what they could do."

And as with all things parenting, modelling helpful coping skills is a powerful teaching strategy. "Adults are role models and children learn from adults," says Associate Professor Frydenberg. "It's important for adults to think about their own coping skills."

Assoc. Professor Frydenberg is presenting her work at the Australian Psychological Society Congress 2016, in Melbourne, 13-16 September.

*Fellow of the Australian Psychological Society

Bio: Erica Frydenberg is an educational, clinical and organisational psychologist who has practiced extensively in the Australian educational setting. She has authored and co-authored more than 120 academic journal articles and chapters in the field of coping, developed psychological instruments to measure coping in children, adolescents and adults, and authored and co-authored 15 books on topics ranging from the early years through to adolescence and parenting.

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Teaching children how to cope with life's challenges | Psychlopaedia

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September 13 2016 Helping children to deal with worries and stress will help them grow into resilient adults. Just like adults, young children have worries that cause stress. Adults may worry about job security or a fight with a partner, while children may stress about a friend moving away or losing their favourite toy.

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Aggression in children can be a symptom of many different underlying problems. It's a very polymorphic thing, a commonality for any number of different psychiatric conditions, medical problems, and life circumstances. And so at the very essence of treating aggression is first to find out what's driving it.

You can break down the causes for aggression into several groups.

Mood disorders First, are there mood issues? Kids who are bipolar, in their manic stages, very frequently become aggressive. They lose self-control, they become impulsive. On the other end of the spectrum, when they become depressed, although aggression is less common, they can become irritable, and sometimes that irritability and cantankerousness causes kids to lash out.

Psychosis The psychotic illnesses may also manifest with aggression. For example, kids with schizophrenia are often responding to internal stimuli that can become disturbing. Sometimes kids with schizophrenia become mistrustful or suspicious-or full-blown paranoid-and they wind up striking out because of their own fear.

Frustration Kids who have problems with cognition (what's now called intellectual impairment) or communication (including autism) may also manifest with aggression. When children with these conditions become aggressive, they often do so because they have difficulty dealing with their anxiety or frustration and can't verbalize their feelings as others do. The aggression may also be a form of impulsivity.

Impulsivity And then there are the disruptive behavior disorders. In children with ADHD, the most common of them, impulsivity and poor decision-making can lead to behavior that's interpreted as aggressive. These children often don't consider the consequences of their actions, which may come across as callous or malicious when they're really just not thinking.

Conduct Disorder With conduct disorder, aggressiveness is part of the matrix of the illness, a large component of what that is. Unlike the child who just isn't considering consequences of his actions, kids with CD are intentionally malicious, and the treatment and prognosis are quite different.

Injury And sometimes there are organic reasons for aggressive outbursts, when a child has frontal lobe damage or certain types of epilepsy. In these cases there may be no comprehensible reason for the aggressive episode, and the episode could have an explosive component.

Trauma Finally, there are times when aggression in children or teenagers is provoked by stressors in their situation, and do not represent an underlying emotional illness. But it is important to understand that this is fairly rare, and when aggression begins to happen on a more frequent basis, it could represent a brewing emotional problem.

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What Are Some of the Causes of Aggression in Children?

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Aggression in children can be a symptom of many different underlying problems. It's a very polymorphic thing, a commonality for any number of different psychiatric conditions, medical problems, and life circumstances. And so at the very essence of treating aggression is first to find out what's driving it.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) experience more obstacles in their path to success than the average student. The symptoms of ADHD, such as inability to pay attention, difficulty sitting still, and difficulty controlling impulses, can make it hard for children with this diagnosis to do well in school.

To meet the needs of children with ADHD, schools may offer

ADHD treatments, such as behavioral classroom management or organizational training;

Special education services; or

Accommodations to lessen the effect of ADHD on their learning.

Classroom Treatment Strategies for ADHD Students

There are some school-based management strategies shown to be effective for ADHD students: behavioral classroom management and organizational training.

The behavioral classroom management approach encourages a student's positive behaviors in the classroom, through a reward systems or a daily report card, and discourages their negative behaviors. This teacher-led approach has been shown to influence student behavior in a constructive manner, increasing academic engagement. Although tested mostly in elementary schools, behavioral classroom management has been shown to work students of all ages.

Organizational training teaches children time management, planning skills, and ways to keep school materials organized in order to optimize student learning and reduce distractions. This management strategy has been tested with children and adolescents.

These two management strategies require trained staff-including teachers, counselors, or school psychologists-follow a specific plan to teach and support positive behavior.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that the school environment, program, or placement is a part of any ADHD treatment plan. AAP also recommends teacher-administered behavior therapy as a treatment for school-aged children with ADHD. You can talk to your child's healthcare provider and teachers about working together to support your child.

Special Education Services and Accommodations

Most children with ADHD receive some school services, such as special education services and accommodations. There are two laws that govern special services and accommodations for children with disabilities:

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)

Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973

The support a child with ADHD receives at school will depend on if they meet the eligibility requirements for one of two federal plans funded by IDEA and Section 504: an individualized education program (IEP) or a 504 Plan.

What are the main differences between the two Plans?

IEPs provide individualized special education services to meet the unique needs of the child.

A 504 Plan provides services and changes to the learning environment to meet the needs of the child as adequately as other students.
Learn more about IEP and 504 Plans [PDF - 2.75 MB]
Accommodations

IEP and 504 Plans can offer accommodations for students to help them manage their ADHD, including:

Extra time on tests;

Instruction and assignments tailored to the child;

Positive reinforcement and feedback;

Using technology to assist with tasks;

Allowing breaks or time to move around;

Changes to the environment to limit distraction; and

Extra help with staying organized.

There is limited information about which types of accommodations are effective for children with ADHD. However, there is evidence that setting clear expectations, providing immediate positive feedback, and communicating daily with parents through a daily report card can help.

What Teachers Can Do To Help

For teachers, helping children manage their ADHD symptoms can present a challenge. Most children with ADHD are not enrolled in special education classes, but do need extra assistance on a daily basis. The National Resource Center on ADHD provides information for teachers from experts on how to help students with ADHD.

Here are some tips for classroom success.

Communication

Give frequent feedback and attention to positive behavior;

Be sensitive to the influence of ADHD on emotions, such as self-esteem issues or difficulty regulating feelings;

Provide extra warnings before transitions and changes in routines; and

Understand that children with ADHD may become deeply absorbed in activities that interest them (hyper-focus) and may need extra assistance shifting their attention.

Assignments and Tasks

Make assignments clear-check with the student to see if they understand what they need to do;

Provide choices to show mastery (for example, let the student choose among written essay, oral report, online quiz, or hands-on project;

Make sure assignments are not long and repetitive. Shorter assignments that provide a little challenge without being too hard may work well;

Allow breaks-for children with ADHD, paying attention takes extra effort and can be very tiring;

Allow time to move and exercise;

Minimize distractions in the classroom; and

Use organizational tools, such as a homework folder, to limit the number of things the child has to track.

Develop a Plan That Fits the Child

Observe and talk with the student about what helps or distracts them (for example, fidget tools, limiting eye contact when listening, background music, or moving while learning can be beneficial or distracting depending on the child);

Communicate with parents on a regular basis; and

Involve the school counselor or psychologist.

Close collaboration between the school, parents, and healthcare providers will help ensure the child gets the right support.

Parent Education and Support

CDC funds the National Resource Center on ADHD (NRC), a program of Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD). The NRC provides resources, information, and advice for parents on how to help their child. Learn more about their services.

How to best advocate for your child

Understand your child's diagnosis, how it impacts their education, and what can be done at home to help.

Understand your child's IEP. If you have questions, don't be afraid to ask.

Speak with your child's teacher.

When possible, obtain written documentation from teachers, administrators, or other professionals working with your child.

Know your rights.

Play an active role in preparing your child's IEP or 504 Plan.

Keep careful records, including written documentation, communication between home and school, progress reports, and evaluations.

Try to maintain a good working relationship with the school while being a strong advocate for your child.

Communicate any concerns you may have about your child's progress or IEP or 504 Plan.

Encourage your child every day, and work with your child to create a system to help with homework and other school projects.

What every parent should know

More Information

Reference

1. Evans S, Owens J, Bunford N. Evidence-based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology 2014;43(4):527-551 [Read overview]

2. DuPaul GJ, Chronis-Tuscano A, Danielson ML, Visser SN. Predictors of receipt of school services in a national sample of youth with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders Published online December 10, 2018. [Read summary]

3. Harrison JR, Bunford N, Evans SW, Owens JS. Educational accommodations for students with behavioral challenges: A systematic review of the literature. Review of Educational Research 2013;83(4):551-97.

4. Moore DA, Russell AE, Matthews J, Ford TJ, Rogers M, Ukoumunne OC, et al. School-based interventions for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A systematic review with multiple synthesis methods. Review of Education. Published online October 18, 2018.

5. https://chadd.org/for-parents/individuals-with-disabilities-education-act/

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To meet the needs of children with ADHD, schools may offer ADHD treatments, special education services, or accommodations to lessen the effect of ADHD on their learning.

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Many kids struggle with reading.

Reading challenges can show up at different ages and can change over time.

Having reading difficulties doesn't mean a child isn't smart.

If your child seems to be having a hard time with reading, you might be wondering why, and what can help. Some kids just need more time and practice than others to learn reading skills. Others may need extra help and support to get there.

Learn about reading challenges and ways to help kids who have trouble with reading.

Reading Difficulties You Might Be Seeing

When kids struggle with reading, it can show up in unexpected ways. They might avoid doing homework or not want to go to school. In some cases, they might even act out in class because they're frustrated.

Kids who have trouble reading might avoid reading altogether-especially reading out loud. That can happen at home or at school. The teacher might notice, for instance, that your child asks to use the bathroom during activities that involve reading aloud.

You or your child's teacher might notice more specific reading challenges, too. Your child might not be able to sound out words yet, for example. Or maybe your child has trouble explaining what a story was about.

Sometimes, reading challenges show up early on. In preschool and kindergarten, kids might struggle to recognize letters or rhyme words. They might have trouble pronouncing words, like saying "mawn lower" instead of "lawn mower." Or they might take much longer than the other kids to learn the alphabet and the days of the week.

Other times, reading challenges don't show up until later-even as late as high school. Starting in grade school, kids may read below grade level. Here are some skills kids may struggle with as they get older:

What Can Cause Trouble With Reading

When kids struggle with reading, it doesn't mean they're not smart. It also doesn't mean they're lazy. In fact, kids who have trouble reading are often trying as hard as they can. They just need more and better support to improve.

When young kids are "behind" in their reading skills, the first thing to look at is how old they are. Not all kids develop at the same pace, and some may take longer than others to learn to read. The differences can be even greater for kids who are young for their grade.

You can also look at how they're being taught to read. If they're not getting the type of instruction they need, it can have an impact on how fast they learn and how well they read.

Another possible factor is heredity. Reading difficulties often run in families.

Are there people in your family who hate to read? Maybe they read very slowly or make a lot of mistakes as they read. If a close family member struggles with reading, it wouldn't be surprising if your child did, too.

Some kids learn and think differently, and those differences can cause trouble with reading. This includes a common reading difficulty called dyslexia.

The good news is that whatever is behind your child's difficulties with reading, there are things you and the school can do to help.

What Can Help Kids With Reading

No matter what's causing your child's trouble with reading, there are ways to help. An important step is to take notes on what you're seeing. If there's a pattern that goes on for a while, you may want to talk to someone. Your child's teacher and pediatrician can be great sources of information and advice.

Even if you're not sure what's going on with your child and reading, you can still work on building skills at home.

Struggling with any skill can make kids feel like they're not smart. And that can take a toll on their self-esteem. Celebrate small successes as your child works on reading skills. And let your child know that everyone has difficulty with something-and that all people have strengths, too. Discover your child's strengths and do a fun activity to celebrate them.

And if you're concerned about dyslexia, see next steps. One option is to ask for a free school evaluation, which can help you better understand your child's challenges and strengths.

Kids develop reading skills at different paces, so sometimes what looks like trouble with reading is a matter of catching up.

Kids need to know that having trouble with reading doesn't mean they're not smart.

Celebrate progress, big and small, as your child works on reading skills.

About the Author

About the Author

The Understood Team&nbsp

is made up of passionate writers, editors, and community moderators. Many of them learn and think differently, or have kids who do.

Reviewed by

Reviewed by

Bob Cunningham, EdM&nbsp

serves as executive director of learning development at Understood.

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Understanding Your Child's Trouble With Reading

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Many kids struggle with reading. Reading challenges can show up at different ages and can change over time. Having reading difficulties doesn't mean a child isn't smart. If your child seems to be having a hard time with reading, you might be wondering why, and what can help.