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How to Help Toddlers with Texture Aversions

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How to Help Toddlers with Texture Aversions

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Slippery foods, mushy foods, bready foods, crunchy foods, mixed textures...there are so many ways that texture aversions can manifest in our kids. To help, I'll share tips for how to offer challenging foods to your kids to help them learn to eat them in all sorts of ways!

Texture Aversions

It's no surprise that it takes time for our little ones to learn to eat, but it might come as a surprise that it can take a fair amount of time for toddlers to be able to handle certain textures. And because there's such a wide range of normalcy on this topic, it can feel isolating when your kiddo won't touch foods like meat or bread or any finger foods ...and all of their little friends are scarfing it down.

Is it picky eating...or texture aversions?

With my first child, I hardly remember experiencing any texture challenges. She loved meat right from the start and took to almost everything I introduced to her with gusto. So I was completely caught off guard when baby number two struggled more with certain foods. It took her until she was four to actually want to eat meat. Until she was 16 month old, she like anything with the texture of a muffin or a pancake. And the week she turned 17 months was the first time she could actually chew and swallow tiny cubes of very lightly toasted bread.

None of this, in itself, is a big deal. But when you're trying to feed your little one a range of healthy foods, eliminating entire food groups like bread and meat can make things feel almost impossible.

Meet Jenny Mc Glothlin

Jenny McGlothlin is a co-author of Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating and is a Speech Language Pathologist who works in the responsive feeding program at the UT Dallas Callier Center. She helped me sort through some of the most common texture issues, and explained what's normal and what's not as your baby turns into a toddler, then keeps on growing and turning into a big kid.

Tips for Toddlers Who Struggle with Mixed Textures

"Mixed textures are difficult for toddlers who are just learning how to manage the manipulation of one texture. Casseroles, vegetable soup, etc. can overwhelm them and they may spit out pieces of things they don't know what do with. Deconstructing mixed foods (separating out the ingredients from a stew/soup/casserole) can reduce the oral motor load and also allow your toddler to approach each item separately." -Jenny

With something like chili, you can separate the ingredients in the bowl and limit the amount of liquid so you'd have a little pile of beans, meat, and perhaps cheese next to each other. This allows the child to clearly see what's in their bowl and eat one food at a time.

If serving lasagna, perhaps you hold back a small portion of each ingredient so your child can eat them separately.

If serving tacos, put the ingredients on the table in family-style bowls and allow the child to decide what of the foods to put on their plate.

Tips for Kids Who Dislike Mashed or Sticky Foods

"Many toddlers have trouble with very sticky foods such as mashed potatoes or peanut butter. You might see gagging or holding the mouth open, as the food coats their tongue. Thinning these foods out (with milk for potatoes, a little water for PB) can help them manage these foods and swallow them more successfully." -Jenny

Use a 1:4 ratio of peanut butter to water and stir it up until it's the consistency of yogurt. This is much less sticky than straight nut butter, but still tastes good.

Try roasted potatoes instead of mashed potatoes.

Be sure to also offer water with meals so the kids can drink regularly to help foods move around in their mouths.

Tips for Toddlers Who Struggle with Slippery Foods

A common strategy for slippery foods like banana slices, avocado slices, or other produce is to add a sprinkle of another food with a texture onto it to make it easier to hold-and so that it won't move around your child's mouth quite so fast.

Tips for Kids Who Dislike Bready Foods

"Introduce more firm textures like crackers or shortbread as a way to introduce this type of food. These might be easier to manage for a child who is looking for more [sensory] input than a soft bread can provide. Serve bread or muffins or whatever other food item you are presenting as part of a meal, family-style, so your child can see the food, see you eating the food, and perhaps engage with the food on their own terms. Crumbling a muffin on your plate is great fun!" -Jenny

Consider lightly toasting bread instead of serving it soft.

Try crackers, toasted muffins, breadsticks, toasted pita bread, and the like. Just be sure to choose options that dissolve fairly quickly to reduce any choking concerns. (So a Breton cracker over a Triscuit for a one year old.)

Spread apple butter or applesauce onto pancakes or waffles to add moisture.

Always offer a drink with muffins and bread to make sure your child has easy access to them if a food seems to get stuck in their mouth.

Tips for Toddlers Who Dislike Meat

"Meat is a difficult texture to chew and takes a lot of work (and more time) from a strength standpoint, and children are going to do whatever is easiest! If your child avoids meat or chews and then spits them out, don't despair-keep presenting them alongside foods they enjoy eating. Soft meats such as fish (salmon is often a favorite), crockpot roast or brisket shredded, and minced chicken salad are all good ones to try." -Jenny

Try meatballs, cut up or mashed.

Blend fully cooked beef into Marinara Sauce.

Shredded meat or chicken will always be easier for a child to eat than grilled or pan-fried, especially with steak.

Try offering deli meats cut up into very soft and small pieces.

TIP: Read more about what to do if your child is averse to all meat here.

By what age do these texture aversions tend to resolve?

"Every child is different and has their own preferences, and some children with texture sensitivities can hold on to their challenges into elementary school. Most toddlers go through a picky, neophobic* stage beginning around 14-16 months, and lasting until around age 5. Texture preferences can change! Also, many children need to have crunchy foods with every meal in order for their sensory system to function at the most alert level, so be sure to include those foods if your child appears to be a sensory seeker." -Jenny

*"Neophobic" is common phase in toddlerhood of refusing and avoiding new foods. As Jenny says, it usually improves around age 5-but that is an average and every child is different, so it may not happen until 7 or 8 with your child. (A flip switched in my oldest at age 6!)

More Tips for Helping Kids with Texture Aversions

Remember that it takes time for kids to learn to eat all of the various textures available to us.

Serve very small portions to reduce mealtime stress.

Allow kids to touch, taste, nibble, spit out, and explore their food as needed. All of that exposure, even if they don't actually swallow the food, is helpful progress.

Allow kids to explore food away from the table at the grocery store, farmer's market, in the garden, while helping you cook, and more where there is likely to be less pressure.

You can add more information to foods by making them distinctly hot or cold, rather than warm temperature.

Be sure to always offer a drink at meals and keep it where your child can easily reach it.

Allow kids to have their own unique likes and dislikes-it's okay if they prefer some textures over others!

Continue to serve a variety of foods, pairing foods you know they usually like with ones that are more of a challenge so that there's always a "safe" food on their plate and exposure to additional foods you want them to eat.

When to Seek Professional Help

According to Jenny, these are signs that you may want to reach out to your pediatrician and/or a feeding therapist for help. (A small amount of texture aversions can be normal, but if some or all of these things are happening or you just feel it in your gut that something isn't quite right, do reach out for help.)

Child regularly gags or vomits at each meal (with consideration for transitions to textured food).

Child is not eating enough in terms of quantity or variety to support healthy emotional, physical or social development.

Parent reports significantly different mealtime behaviors than you see at school.

Child isn't chewing well, spits out food after chewing, or can't keep food in their mouth.

Child swallows food whole. (Here's how to tell if your child isn't chewing: Child younger than 3, but "chews" with mouth closed; Child chokes or gags while eating; Child winces during swallowing; You can identify whole pieces of food in diaper or vomit; Child is constipated; Child fails to maintain weight despite eating age-appropriate amounts of food; Child stuffs mouth full of food while eating and often needs reminders to slow down and take smaller bites."

If you want to read more about common and less common feeding issues, I highly recommend Jenny's book Helping Your Child With Extreme Picky Eating.

I'd love to hear any additional questions you may have on this topic, so please chime in below!

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How to Help Toddlers with Texture Aversions and Improve Picky Eating

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Slippery foods, mushy foods, bready foods, crunchy foods, mixed textures...there are so many ways that texture aversions can manifest in our kids. To help, I'll share tips for how to offer challenging foods to your kids to help them learn to eat them in all sorts of ways!

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TEXTURED FOODS: HOW TO TRANSITION BABY FROM PUREE TO TABLE FOOD

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TEXTURED FOODS: HOW TO TRANSITION BABY FROM PUREE TO TABLE FOOD

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Textured Foods: How to Transition Baby from Puree to Table Food

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Is your baby refusing to eat food other than purees? Not sure how to introduce textured foods to your baby? Here are some expert tips.

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SOS Approach to Feeding

A transdisciplinary program for assessing and treating children with feeding difficulties

When Children Won't Eat

Sometimes, discerning the difference between a "picky eater" and a problem feeder can be difficult. Determining whether or not your child is even a "picky eater" to begin with isn't necessarily simple. It could just be a hiccup in their developing tastes, or a little phase they're going through. But if your child is a picky eater or a problem feeder, they will likely require support to learn how to eat a more varied diet. If you're concerned about a potentially "picky eater" in your life, read these common questions and learn whether SOS Approach to Feeding can help your child.

Picky Eaters vs. Problem Feeders

1. If you were to make a list of all of the foods that your child eats, how many foods would be on that list?

2. Does your child eat the same food over and over, then suddenly stop eating that food (Food Jag)? Will they accept that food again at some point in the future, or is that food typically lost?

3. What happens if you put a new food on their plate?

4. Do they eat at least one food from most nutrition (proteins, vegetables, etc.) and texture (purees, soft foods, chewy foods, etc.) categories?

5. What does their plate look like at meals compared to the rest of the family's?

6. How hard is it for them to learn about new foods?

7. How often has your child been reported as a "picky eater" at well-child check-ups?

Discover the differences between Picky Eaters vs Problem Feeders with the Picky Eaters vs Problem Feeders Questionnaire.

Read More

Parents & Caregivers

We know that each child and situation is unique, and we've seen the heartbreak and fear that can come when things aren't going well. We know it's much more than "just a phase," and that ensuring your child is getting the nutrients necessary to not just survive, but flourish, is no easy task. Let us help.

Start Here

Professionals

The SOS Approach is the only results-driven feeding program with 30 years of proven clinical experience helping children learn the skills they need to eat well. We've been training professionals in the field about feeding challenges and how to best utilize our approach in their practices for decades, and the results speak for themselves. If you're looking for ways to expand how you work with children with feeding problems, we can help revolutionize the way you look at assessment, what treatment strategies you use, and how to best improve your impact on parents and caregivers.

Start Here

Whether you're just starting out in treatment with your first child with a feeding disorder, or you have been doing this for years, SOS provides information and strategies to improve your skills to help even the most challenging children.

SOS Training Conferences

All training in the SOS Approach to Feeding begin by attending the Main Training Conference. This conference provides the foundational information in feeding development, assessments, and therapy using the SOS Approach to Feeding. View the SOS Conference Schedule

Advanced Workshops

After completing the SOS Approach to Feeding Main Training Conference, therapists can take our online, pre-recorded Advanced Workshops. These workshops provide advanced techniques that address special populations and specialized topics in feeding, allowing you to gain additional information relevant to your setting. View Topics and Register

SOS Mentorship

After completing the SOS Approach to Feeding Conference and taking selected Advanced Workshops based on your clinical population, you can join a Mentorship Course. Mentorship provides personalized guidance and feedback on the use of the SOS Approach in your setting and with your clinical caseload. View Upcoming Mentorship Courses

SOS Certification

After completing all of the above steps, you can take the Certification Course to become a Certified SOS Therapist. This course provides expert-level training for therapists who demonstrate mastery of the SOS Approach and to utilize the SOS Philosophies in treatment. SOS Certification is required for those who wish to do research on the SOS Approach to Feeding program. Learn More & Register

The Parent and Caregiver Workshop offers an introductory view of the SOS Approach to Feeding to help Parents and Caregivers understand how complicated feeding/eating is, why children may struggle to eat, and how to help children to eat better. This Workshop will teach Parents and Caregivers about the foundational skills needed for eating. Practical Strategies are discussed so Parents and Caregivers can help their children learn to have a lifelong healthy relationship with food. This Workshop will be addressing common feeding issues often seen in young children, to struggles that "picky eaters" may have, and the challenges of the "problem feeder".

Copyright SOS Approach to Feeding © 2024 | Web Design by Webolutions

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SOS Approach to Feeding | Feeding Disorders in Children

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The SOS Approach to Feeding provides information and strategies to improve your skills to help even the most challenging children learn to eat.

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Explore the properties of different ingredients and how they can transform while creating tasty (and safe!) edible slime.

What You'll Need

2 cups water

3 heaping teaspoons of tapioca flour/tapioca starch

Saucepan

Wooden spoon

Heat-safe bowl​

Optional: Food coloring

Directions

1
Combine the water and tapioca in a saucepan and stir until dissolved. Add five drops of food coloring (optional). Notice what happens.

2
Bring to a boil over medium-high heat while stirring constantly. You should notice the color change from opaque to transparent. Have children observe these changes from a safe distance.

3
Reduce heat and continue cooking for 5 to 10 minutes.

4
As the mixture starts to thicken, use the spoon to scrape along the bottom and the sides.

5
When the slime looks ready, pour into your heat-safe bowl and let it cool. Less cook time will produce a more liquid-y slime. Boiling the mixture longer will make it gooier. The mixture will continue to thicken overnight.

Explore Further

Use the slime to engage your child in a conversation about the chemistry and composition of the slime. What does the slime feel like? Is it a liquid like water? Or is it solid like a rock?

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Cook Up Some Edible Slime | Crafts for Kids

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Parent’s Guide to Feeding Behavior in Children with Autism

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Parent’s Guide to Feeding Behavior in Children with Autism

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caregiver mealtime interview NEW 2018_Spanish

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Caregiver Mealtime Interview- Haitian Creole 

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Caregiver Mealtime Interview- Haitian Creole 

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caregiver mealtime interview Haitian Creole

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Request Clinical Eval of Feeding and Swallowing

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Request Clinical Eval of Feeding and Swallowing

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Our 3-year-old was recently diagnosed with autism. He has made progress and is now talking, requesting and labeling. But he drools all the time, and we have to wipe his face constantly. How can we help him not drool? Today's "Got Questions?" answer is by behavior analyst Kara Reagon, Autism Speaks associate director for dissemination science. Editor's note: The following information is not meant to diagnose or treat and should not take the place of personal consultation, as appropriate, with a qualified healthcare professional.
Everybody drools - at least to start. Typically developing infants start to gain control of their swallowing and mouth muscles between 18 and 24 months of age. But it's common for children with developmental disorders to drool excessively and for longer than is typical with other children. This includes children with autism, many of whom have delays and difficulties with muscle control and sensitivity.

What causes excessive drooling?
Typically, drooling involves low muscle tone, a lack of sensitivity around the lips and face, difficulty swallowing and/or excessive production of saliva. A variety of neurological and attention deficits can contribute to these issues - as is often the case among children - and sometimes adults - who have autism.

You are right to be concerned. Drooling becomes socially stigmatizing when it continues beyond infancy. It's also unhygienic - an important issue as your son enters group settings such as preschool.

That said, drooling in some situations - for instance, while sleeping - is generally harmless unless it's so excessive that your child is inhaling saliva.

So let's focus on your son's tendency to drool during the day.

Evaluation and treatment options
First, it's important to discuss your son's drooling with his pediatrician or a pediatric ear-nose-throat specialist to address or rule out serious underlying medical conditions. This will likely involve an examination of his tonsils, sinuses, and salivary glands. Also, certain medications can worsen drooling - another issue to discuss with your son's doctor. In addition, the doctor should evaluate whether your son's drooling is resulting in his inhaling saliva into his lungs - putting him at risk for pneumonia.

Treatment options should be tailored to your son's needs and may require further evaluation - for instance by a speech-language pathologist or occupational therapist experienced in oral-sensitivity and muscle tone issues.

Speech and occupational therapists can help your son improve his oral muscle tone, lip closure and swallowing. In some cases, the therapist may suggest a dental appliance or chin cup to assist in lip closure, tongue positioning and swallowing.

It may also help to reduce the amount of acidic foods your son is eating - as they can trigger the production of excessive saliva. But it's important to work with a dietician before introducing any significant change to your son's diet - particularly if he's already a picky eater.

The goals of therapy
Generally drooling can be addressed through occupational and/or speech therapy that focuses on the following:

1. Develop good posture and positioning
Sometimes, poor muscle control of the trunk, neck and head results in the head tilting downward. In this position, saliva tends to pool at the front of the mouth and spill from parted lips. The therapist can help you position your child in ways that encourage proper trunk control and head support.

2. Build oral muscle strength and control.
Therapists use a variety of playful oral-motor exercises to help children build muscle tone around the mouth. For instance, the therapist may have your son practice closing his lips around a straw, spoon or a piece of food and/or practice pronouncing closed-lip speech sounds such as "p," "b" and "m." The therapist will show you how to continue these exercises at home, with lots of encouragement in the form of praise and/or small rewards.

3. Increase oral sensitivity. Similarly, therapists have a variety of tactile exercises that can help your child develop sensitivity in the lips, tongue, mouth and chin. This includes building awareness of dryness versus wetness - so your child becomes aware when he's drooling. Playful oral-sensitivity exercises can include blowing bubbles, making exaggerated sounds involving the lips such as "oooo," "eeee" and "puh-puh-puh." Again the therapist will give you guidance on how to practice these exercises at home.

4. Practice proper chewing and swallowing. Does your child drool excessively while eating? If so, you and the therapist can work with your child to master the steps of proper chewing and swallowing. It's helpful to practice these exercises when your child is hungry enough to enjoy a snack but not ravenous. In general, the therapist will show you how to model, or exaggerate, appropriate chewing motions (closing the teeth and then the lips, etc.) and encourage your child to do the same. It can help to give your son a hand-held mirror so he can watch himself perform these steps. As always, remember to encourage and praise, as in:
"That's great. You're chewing your cracker. Awesome, you swallowed the cracker! Good eating."
5. Practice wiping with a napkin or handkerchief. While your child is learning to become aware of wetness on his face, it's important to encourage the socially appropriate practice of wiping with a napkin or handkerchief. For mealtimes, I suggest teaching him the habit of "wipe, wipe, swallow" - wiping one side of the mouth and then the other before swallowing. Consider attaching the napkin to a wristband during meals to encourage this habit.

You mention that your son drools continuously. So you'll also want to teach him the habit of wiping with a handkerchief when not at the dinner table. This includes helping him learn to keep a clean handkerchief handy in a pocket. Another option is have your son wear wrist sweatbands and encourage him to use them to wipe each side of his face regularly.

Both at the dinner table and away, you'll want to cue your child - perhaps by properly wiping your own mouth - when you see him drooling.

6. Put it all together with rewards.
Be sure to create a reward system to reinforce each step your child takes with chewing, swallowing, wiping and most importantly keeping a clean, dry face. At age 3, you may want to keep this simple - with lots of praise and small rewards. But your son may be old enough to enjoy a token system that involves earning larger rewards such as a favorite activity with you.

One of my favorite resources is How to Stop Drooling, by speech-language pathologist Pam Marshalla. Read more about her book on her website here.

Readers: Got more questions for our behavioral and medical experts? Send them to GotQuestions@AutismSpeaks.org

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Autism and drooling: Why so common? What helps? | Autism Speaks

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Our 3-year-old was recently diagnosed with autism. He has made progress and is now talking, requesting and labeling. But he drools all the time, and we have to wipe his face constantly. How can we help him not drool? Today's "Got Questions?" answer is by behavior analyst Kara Reagon, Autism Speaks associate director for dissemination science.

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Posture and Positioning for Children with Autism

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Posture and Positioning for Children with Autism

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* This post contains affiliate links for your convenience.

I am a bit embarrassed that I am now just writing this post after three years of regularly sharing information about kid's and eating. How and where your child is sitting to eat can have a HUGE impact on the success of a meal! Surprised? Don't believe me? I know it sounds like a minor factor to consider when feeding your child (or baby), but if your child isn't positioned correctly they may have more difficulty swallowing, and thus be more likely to choke.

Additionally, without the proper trunk support, eating may be so taxing that they would rather just skip it, or at least end a meal sooner than they would have. Another wrinkle here is that improper seating often leaves kids very wiggly in their chairs (i.e.: changing positions often, falling off the chair, and leaning on the table or other chairs). These behaviors make it hard for the child to focus on their meal, and are totally annoying distracting for adults. I often hear parents redirecting their children to "Sit up straight," or "Don't lean on the table." But, if they are sitting in an adult sized chair with nothing under their feet those really aren't fair requests.

I mentioned this topic briefly in, Common Mistakes Parents Make, because kids are often very good at manipulating their way into "big boy/girl seats", and it appears harmless. After all, it does seem a bit easier because you don't have to strap your child into a booster seat or high chair anymore. Maybe cleaning out the booster is a pain, or getting one is an extra expense? Whatever the reason, I can see how many parents allow their kids to eat on adult chairs. My hope is that I can give you some simple solutions and motivation to make the change so that meal time is easier for your child and less annoying for you. In addition, sitting with support allows for more effective practice of various fine-motor skills (i.e.: cutting, writing, coloring, etc.) and homework.

So here it is, the secret to proper seating: Children should be sitting with their hips, knees, and ankles all bent at 90 degrees. If you can't think of what that looks like picture each of those joints having an angle like the corner of a perfect square. You may need to get down and look at your child sideways to really determine if you are at 90 degrees. See the pictures below, where I illustrate it in a variety of situations.

See how the hips, knees, and ankles are all bent at sharp 90 degree angles.

Child tables are often good solutions for proper positioning, but it is important to still have your kids eating with you at the table. Of course, you can always pull up a chair to their table.

Don't forget about the babies! Many high chairs don't have a foot plate and leave your babies feet dangling.

How to Make it Work in Your Home

The easiest, but not necessarily the cheapest, is to invest in an adjustable high-chair that your baby, toddler, and child can use. These chairs allow for lots of different positions to keep your child at 90/90/90. I have the Tripp Trapp, (see above pic with baby) and I love it!!! I seriously wish I had got this thing sooner. It's an investment, but is worth every penny. I can't tell you how many of my friends come in and immediately ask me about this chair, or feed their baby or toddler in it AND love how much better they eat. That's all because their in the proper position. There are a few other chairs that are similar to the Tripp Trapp, like this chair and this one. They are all effective because they have adjustable plates that let you move them as your child grows.

UPDATE: My youngest is now two and we are still in love with the Tripp Trapp! Although he doesn't sit at it anymore, he's in this strapped booster seat. My 5 year old, that was super wiggly at meals now sits in it, (it holds up to 300lbs) without all of the seatbelts for babies because those are all remove-able. This thing lasts and has a lot of longevity.

You may be more interested in booster seats, which are great solutions and are much needed for most kids under 9-10 years old. There are tons available. For younger kids I use this one with the strap (this is the same one my two year old is using now and my other two also sat in for some time). I like that this version is easily portable, it folds up nicely. Its come with us plenty of times to parties and dinners.

My oldest, who is now 7, doesn't need a strap. He uses this booster and I love it because it is SOOOO easy to clean, at this point in my life that is high on my priority list. Plus, its easy to move and isn't big and clunky. Of course, you're going to want to make sure that their feet are in the proper position. To do that you will need to experiment with placing phone books, stools, children's chairs, etc., under their feet, if they aren't firmly on the ground.

Kids that REALLY Need the Support

I can just about guarantee that if your child has low tone in their trunk than sitting with support is critical to improving their tone, and improving their eating. Otherwise, implementing other strategies to improve eating will likely not be as beneficial. Also, these kids will adopt other strategies that can be harmful while eating to give them the support they need, like "W" sitting. My oldest has low tone in his trunk and will wrap his legs around the outside of the chair in a "W", which can lead to hip problems. Below are some groups of children that commonly display low tone. It is important to note that MANY children (like my Sam) have low tone and no diagnosis.

Autism

Down Syndrome

Cerebral Palsy

Children born prematurely (in some instances)

Children that have chronic constipation (in some instance)

This is Sam trying to give himself more support in the chair when his feet aren't stabilized.

He will also frequently lean back with or without foot support. However, he needs far less cues when he has his feet in the right position. It isn't fair to ask your child to sit upright without the proper positioning.

When It is Okay to Prompt

If you have your child seated in the 90/90/90 position I described above, it is completely okay, and appropriate, to give you child prompts to sit up straight. Kids that have low tone will often still try to slouch or lean on the table even with the proper the support. If you feel like you are nagging your child (like I often do) throughout the meal to sit up straight, you can offer a pillow behind the back for some support. However, I would encourage you to build up the amount of time they are able to sit without that extra support. For instance, try to go five minutes for one week or 4-5 days before giving the pillow, then 10 minutes the next week, and so on.

The Inspired Treehouse has a cache of low tone games and exercises to work on with your little one if they are struggling with low tone in their trunk. I would highly recommend making them a part of your regular routine if sitting upright is difficult. I've used their activities with my son and love their printable exercise pack and core strength handbook. This makes it SUPER easy to work on core strength at home.

Other activities like tumbling, swimming, and karate are also very beneficial.

Were you surprised to learn about how and why its important to have your seat properly? What option are you considering for your child? Tell me in the comments!

More on Kid's and Eating
Why Kids Don't Eat 8 Steps to Keep Your Child Seated for Meals Turning My Picky Eater Around Sensory Processing and Picky Eating Mealtime Rules: Yea, Nay, or Maybe?

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Best Seated Position for Kids During Mealtime

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This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. I am a bit embarrassed that I am now just writing this post after three years of regularly sharing information about kid's and eating. How and where your child is sitting to eat can have a HUGE impact on the success of a meal!

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Teletherapy Seating and Positioning for Mealtimes

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Fun & innovative sensory solutions for chewing, oral motor, speech, feeding therapy, & special needs. Family business, 5-star customer service.

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Practical Strategies for Feeding Aversions

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Practical Strategies for Feeding Aversions

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Practical Strategies for Feeding Aversions in Children with Autism

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We've been busy cooking our way through the alphabet with our Cooking With Kids A-Z series. All of the kid-friendly recipes here are great for occupational therapy cooking activities. While these recipes for kids are simple meal prep ideas for occupational therapy sessions or specific goals, they double as a way to help kids with areas like attention or direction following. We love the learning and therapeutic benefits to cooking with kids so this series is a winner for us. Try all of these recipes for tasty dishes that you can cook together as a family.

Meal Prep Ideas for Occupational Therapy

Healthy Recipes for Kids

Fun Recipes- Holiday Cooking With Kids

Fun Recipes -Book Related Recipes

More Cooking With Kids Ideas

Stop back for more Cooking With Kids Ideas. We're cooking up a storm all the time! Some of our favorite tools for

Cooking With Kids are ones we use every day. (Affiliate links are included.)
KitchenAid Mixer
Safety knives Sturdy Cutting Board Plastic Measuring Cups and Spoons

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We've been busy cooking our way through the alphabet with our Cooking With Kids A-Z series. All of the kid-friendly recipes here are great for occupational therapy cooking activities. While these recipes for kids are simple meal prep ideas for occupational therapy sessions or specific goals, they double as a way to help kids with areas like attention or direction following.

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Register through kid pass for a free online cooking class!

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Looking for a fun at-home activity that will engage (and feed!) the whole family? Join Cricket Azima and The Creative Kitchen online for a private cooking class, adapted for various physical and developmental abilities! Families select a recipe from The Creative Kitchen's cookbook in advance of the class. A list of ingredients and related equipment is provided prior to the customized session. Class instruction will be tailored to suit family-specific participant needs and abilities. Class is scheduled for a mutually agreed upon date and time.

This is an online class that is hosted on the KidPass Digital Platform, which uses Zoom. Upon booking, you will receive a link to access the class in your booking confirmation email. Simply click on the link when it's time for your class. Please download Zoom prior to the start of the class.

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Pick-Your-Own Day and Time Private Inclusion Family Cooking Class - Adapted for Various Physical and Developmental Abilities (Online) at The Creative Kitchen (Online)

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Looking for a fun at-home activity that will engage (and feed!) the whole family? Join Cricket Azima and The Creative Kitchen online for a private cooking class, adapted for various physical and developmental abilities! Families select a recipe from The Creative Kitchen's cookbook in advance of the...

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My son is a very picky eater, and calling him picky is being kind. He is offended by certain tastes and textures. Seriously offended. Food that he doesn't like-or more accurately, has tried by touching it to his lips and rejecting it-is too chewy, too salty, too crunchy. He's gagged when I've asked him to try a bite of fish and suffered a complete heaving episode when I've pointed him to a vegetable.

His issues around food stem not only from a sensitive palette, but from a need to control situations. That need grew worse after his father died, and grief stole first his appetite, and then the innocent childhood belief that things were in his control. His appetite has since returned. His innocence has not.

The combination of a sensitive palette and a need to control situations makes every meal a potential argument, though long ago I stopped arguing. Because in the choice to eat what's in front of him or go hungry, he will choose to go hungry. When he really digs in his heels, he will go hungry to the point where his blood sugar drops and his lips turn white and he vomits.

When he fell off his growth curve too sharply and his iron levels dropped to too low levels, it became more important that he eat anything-even if that meant the same six meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a never-ending rotation.

In a normal life, that wasn't a problem. I could provide him what he liked while I waited for our appointment with a nutritionist. In a COVID-19 world, where staples disappear from shelves too fast and trips to the grocery store must be limited, it could be a huge problem for my son who likes what he likes when he likes it, and would rather make himself sick than eat. And yet, so far, it hasn't been.

My first trip to the grocery store after schools closed and the truth about the severity of this disease infiltrated daily life was not unlike walking into a dystopian future. Grocery store shelves that once contained the few items my son was certain to eat were completely empty. I had to find substitutions. And in place of substitutions, I had to gamble on new staples.

When I got home, my son watched as I put groceries into the fridge, stacked things in the pantry. He noticed some of his favorites (his onlys) were missing, and asked. I hesitated at first, afraid to scare him - to let him know the extent of the way the world had changed seemingly overnight. He (and his sister) had never known anything but grocery stores with stocked shelves. To be honest, neither had I.

I told him for the next few weeks things were going to be different. The food and snacks he wanted simply weren't there-not gone forever, but missing for now. And I couldn't just run out tomorrow to look for his particular brand of Mac 'n' Cheese because every time "out" came with too much risk-and risk had to be minimized. I told him we all needed to be flexible, to rage and scream and cry in frustration when we needed to, and then change our expectations.

I'm not sure whether he understood the empty shelves. Without experiencing them, I'm not sure I would be able to, either. So many weeks later, the empty shelves still feel stark and surreal. But he understood the risk. At 8 years old, he's seen enough about life and loss and death to understand risk. He is aware enough to know that I'm the only adult in the house, and I need to be well enough to weather the storm gathering around our little family of three.

As the days in quarantine bleed into weeks, we've done away with food rules and norms-not for any particular conscious reason. But because some days cabin fever and endless time together strikes too deep and instead of a family dinner, we retreat into our own individual screens as we eat. And because other days, anxieties run too high and instead of a meal, we have a variety of snacks that when looked at from the right angle can almost, maybe kinda sorta, resemble a meal-if I squint.

And somehow, while it seems the world is falling apart, my picky eater, my son who is desperately seeking control, is eating better than he's ever eaten.

He's snacking on carrots and dipping pretzels into guacamole. He's using a different marinara sauce and eating every bite of the pasta that's tricolor instead of plain. He tried a different brand of chicken nuggets-and is only once in a while complaining about the taste.

But also, he's insisting on only eating his exact brand of frozen pancakes for breakfast every morning-and I just feel lucky to have found them. And I find myself simply grateful he's eating, when in another time, he might have chosen to not eat at all, that he's making an effort to be open minded, when so many times in the past he chose to shut down. And that he's given me one less thing to worry about, when the worries seem to compound on a daily basis.

For my part, I'm not worried whether he's getting enough vegetables (he's not) or enough protein (he's not, a hardboiled egg or two notwithstanding) because right now, it's enough to know he's home and safe with me. I'm simply grateful we are able to buy enough groceries to last two weeks and that we have access to stores that supply dozens of pasta options-I know that's not true for too many families.

I'm not sure why he's eating better now than ever before. Maybe he's finally gotten to that age I'd been told existed by all those well-meaning people who told me he'd grow out of it one day. Or maybe he understands in this version of the world, we all have to do things a little differently. Or maybe, he's simply eating better because the issue of control has been nulled. There is no battle for control, because neither of us has control. We are both subject to the whims of a reality that is wildly out of our control.

And maybe that means, for the first time in a long time, food is no longer equated with control. Maybe, for now at least, food is equated with something else-something that looks a lot like family. Something that looks a lot like love.

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The Stress Of Feeding An Extremely Picky Eater During COVID-19 Lockdowns

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My son is a very picky eater, and calling him picky is being kind. He is offended by certain tastes and textures. Seriously offended. Food that he doesn't like-or more accurately, has tried by touching it to his lips and rejecting it-is too chewy, too salty, too crunchy.

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5 Fun and Easy Ideas to Help Picky Eaters via Teletherapy

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5 Fun and Easy Ideas to Help Picky Eaters via Teletherapy

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5 Easy & Fun Ideas to Help Picky Eaters via Teletherapy (& at home too!)

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sign up for the free newsletter!

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Expert Feeding Help for the Picky Eater - Melanie Potock

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Melanie Potock's courses, books & articles focus on raising kids to be healthy, happy eaters. Picky eater help for babies, toddlers and teens.

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A world in which children with pediatric feeding disorder will thrive

Furthering advances in pediatric feeding disorder by accelerating identification, igniting research, and promoting collaborative care for children and families

Learn more about our new Corporate Partner Program!

Making A Better World for Children with PFD

Feeding Matters is the first organization in the world uniting families, healthcare professionals, and the broader community to improve the system of care for children with pediatric feeding disorder through advocacy, education, support, and research.

Is Mealtime A Struggle?

This questionnaire might help target areas of concern for families and physicians.

Share the Questionnaire

Download the ICFQ Rack Card to print and share with the families you serve!

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Feeding Matters - Serving Kids with Pediatric Feeding Disorder

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Feeding Matters is the first organization in the world serving kids with pediatric feeding disorder (PFD). We strive to unite families, healthcare professionals, and the broader community to improve the system of care for children with pediatric feeding disorder.