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Far from simply setting up student schedules and administering placement and academic evaluation tests, school counselors are leaders who can have a huge impact on the acceleration and the enhancement of learning. They must possess the ability to negotiate, persuade others their ideas are worthwhile, and collaborate with principals and other school officials.

School counselors have many responsibilities, including counseling students, working with teachers and parents, referring students to outside agencies, participating in student welfare and learning support communities, and evaluating and improving their own school counseling program.

Listening

First and foremost, a school counselor needs to be a good listener. Often, they have several students they work with and may get very few chances to converse with them in a one on one setting. "The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood," said Ralph G. Nichols. "The best way to understand people is to listen to them."

To listen effectively, counselors must be fully in the moment, not thinking of their "to do" list but rather giving their full attention to the issue at hand. Reflecting back to the person, your perception of what they said helps show understanding, and lets them make corrections. The counselor must also keep an open mind, being careful not to make any judgments until they have heard the entire story. ¹

Being Empathetic

Often a part of listening, putting themselves in the shoes of the person speaking, whether that is a student or another school official, helps counselors truly understand the underlying issues.

"Without the ability to understand what the student is experiencing, a counselor cannot truly do an effective job," says Helen A. Hatridge, past president of the Missouri School Counselor Association. "Empathy leads to good listening and a better ability to help the client come up with solutions. It also helps the student feel more comfortable and willing to open up to a counselor." ²

To be more empathetic, it is essential for a counselor to put aside their viewpoint. At the same time, they need to validate the student's viewpoint, which does not always mean agreement. Instead it means acknowledging their right to have an opinion, and that they have valid reasons for it. Asking how that person thinks a situation should be handled or what they would do opens up an even deeper understanding. ³

Building Relationship

It takes time for a counselor to build a relationship with any student or even their peers. However, through listening and being empathetic, that process can be accelerated.

To feel free to talk to a counselor, a student must often "break the ice," and needs to feel trust, comfort, and acceptance. Students need to accept that the counselor is a professional caregiver, and someone they can turn to without fear of judgement.

A counselor who develops this trusting relationship with students can get a lot more done, An understanding of the kid culture and what they care about can go a long way toward providing that environment of trust and understanding.

Performing Assessments

Assessment skills are essential for any school counselor in a number of areas. From academic and skills assessment to personality testing and career advisement, the ability to discern the intersection of talent and desire is essential to offering good counsel.

Assessment also includes determining if a student has special needs and interpreting test and non-test data to decide where the student should be placed, and what programs will most benefit them.

Regardless of the reason for assessment, the steps often include, but are not limited to the following:

Choosing what tests should be administered and when.

Scheduling, preparing, and administering tests.

Scoring tests or sending them out to be scored.

Advising students, teachers, parents, and other staff on test score interpretation.

Evaluating the testing process, results, and subsequent recommendations.⁴

Assessments involve some testing but must also be combined with listening, empathy, and the relationship that has been built to determine how testing outcomes relate to personality, desires, and the goals of the student.

Coordinating Efforts and Activities

Efforts and activities can fall into a couple of different categories. A counselor will have to coordinate Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) for students, and other student specific plans as well. Along with coordinating individual student plans and interacting with teachers and other school officials, the school counselor often coordinates other activities and projects as well.

In many cases, the school counselor is in charge of parent newsletters, school announcements, managing social media accounts, and other community outreach and event planning efforts.

The ability to coordinate and manage these efforts and activities requires strong leadership and organizational skills. Teaching these skills to students by allowing them to take responsibility for their own educational goals and other efforts enables a counselor to show leadership by example.

Exercising Authority

In order to be able to implement programs, direct student activities and coordinate tasks, a counselor must exercise a certain amount of authority.

This means first of all that the counselor must be granted the authority to handle certain tasks by other school officials such as principals and administrators. The more their authority is validated by their actions, the more the counselor will be perceived as a leader by parents and students alike.

Secondly, the school counselor must be willing to wield the authority they have been granted, taking charge of tasks and situations, setting expectations, and holding those responsible to deadlines.

The counselor must also know in any given situation when to cross the line from friend to professional. If a student is being abusive or abused, a more professional response is ethically and legally mandated. It is the counselor's obligation to take charge and follow through, ensuring that student safety comes first.

Being Flexible

If one thing is certain in the field of education, it is that things will change. Interruptions, schedule changes, new programs, and new responsibilities all interrupt a counselor's daily routine.

Student needs and the needs of the school overall often take priority over scheduled meetings. Parent phone calls, staff concerns, talks in classrooms, and unexpected counseling needs can all be disruptive.

A successful counselor should:

Leave gaps in their day for unscheduled needs.

Use good time management techniques.

Set reasonable boundaries. Know what is worthy of an interruption, and what can wait.

Communicate clearly. Inform students, parents, and faculty of schedules and boundaries.

By remaining flexible, a counselor can better manage the stress inherent in the job and be more responsive when needs arise unexpectedly.

Having a Sense of Humor

Being able to see things from the side of humor has a number of advantages. It lets students see that the counselor is human and can not only laugh at situations but laugh at themselves as well.

This is frequently one of the biggest assets in building student trust and developing a relationship with them. It is often how those students relate to adults, whether through jokes or humorous anecdotes that illustrate a point the counselor is trying to get across.

Humor is also a stress reliever. Being able to see the humorous side of interruptions and other daily situations allows a counselor to relax and keep anxiety from taking over many scenarios.

It takes a combination of many leadership traits to make a school counselor effective. They must use listening skills and offer empathy in order to build relationships. A counselor must also perform assessments and coordinate activities and educational efforts. These duties mean they must remain flexible and exercise authority when appropriate.

Not one of these traits alone is enough, and no one is equally adept in all of them. They are taught and can be learned in a Master of Arts in Counseling with an emphasis in school counseling like the one offered by Wake Forest University. This graduate degree will prepare you for a career as a school counselor in almost any setting.
Sources: 1 2 3 ⁴ American Counseling Association, Assessment Skills for School Counselors Mind Tools, Empathy at Work Education World, School Counselors Reflective On What Makes Them Effective Fast Company, 5 Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills

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Leadership Traits Every Counselor Should Have

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Far from simply setting up student schedules and administering placement and academic evaluation tests, school counselors are leaders who can have a huge impact on the acceleration and the enhancement of learning. They must possess the ability to negotiate, persuade others their ideas are worthwhile, and collaborate with principals and other school officials.

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School Counseling Leadership Specialist | American School Counselor Association (ASCA)

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How schools will reopen this fall remains in question. Navigating these uncertain times requires transformative school leadership skills. An experienced school leader suggests four pillars of effective leadership.

Transitioning schools from a traditional setting to a remote setting back in March was not only a pandemic emergency, but also a complicated leadership challenge. Reopening schools in the fall will be more complicated due to the fragmentation that will exist from such an overwhelming diversity of needs amongst our students, families, teachers and staff. How will we lead? I urge school leaders to join me in focusing on four pillars for transformative school leadership: communication, transparency, trust, and relationships.

Four Pillars of School Leadership

Communication. One of the most common mistakes leaders make is that they assume communication has taken place because of what they have disseminated. We release messages on social media, our websites, to the newspapers and we have face-to-face conversations. Yet, we need to keep in mind that communication is a two-way street. Given our collective experience during the pandemic and our preparations for what lies ahead in the fall for schools, we must recognize the importance not just of telling, but also of listening. Whether in a time of crisis or when "normal" is restored, leaders need to listen more and speak less. We need to recognize how important communication is in building lasting relationships, personally and professionally. Oprah says, "Great communication begins with connection." Shockingly, many educational leaders over the past several months have forgotten this essential piece-the importance of relationships.

Steps to Optimize Communication:

Communicate daily/weekly/monthly updates in the school or school district.

Develop an email listserve and send parents/guardians and members of the community simple newsletters about teaching and learning, areas of focus, positive recognitions.

Facilitate monthly virtual town hall sessions using virtual technologies like Zoom to engage and inform parents, guardians and the community.

Understand stakeholder preference when it comes to technologies and media outlets, including Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, radio and newspapers. Utilize a variety of channels to cast a wide net to share information.

Share plans before they are fully baked to ensure stakeholders have time to weigh in and can, thus, fully appreciate authentic communication efforts.

Transparency. No matter the situation or circumstance, transparency leads to support and commitment, and it strengthens relationships. Mother Theresa said it best, "Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Do it anyway." Currently, across the nation, students, staff, parents and the community are hurting. In times of desperation, people want untarnished transparency, compassion and hope of a better tomorrow. I would argue that leaders do not have the luxury of keeping information locked away, not just during a pandemic or an emergency, but ever. While some laws forbid the sharing of certain information, there is plenty of information that can and should be shared. Organizational transformation is hard because change is hard. The difference between organizations that fail to change and those that change and thrive is effective communication. Aristotle said, "All communication must lead to change." Change cannot happen if the information is filtered or withheld from those who can drive change, or who will be impacted by the change.

Steps to Increase Transparency:

Be accessible to stakeholders, in public and at home, and respond to social media comments that are pertinent, relevant and sincere. Avoid replying to negative feedback, except to acknowledge their receipt.

Empower stakeholders to be part of the decision-making process as much as possible. Empowerment = transparency.

Let stakeholders know you don't have all the answers and keep them apprised if mistakes happen. Followers appreciate leaders who are human and convey a certain level of humility.

Utilize your district's website as the center for information. Districts should post as much information as possible in an organized fashion.

Trust. Trust can never be earned without communication and transparency. Followers are looking for leaders who inspire them to be better than themselves, but it starts with the leader nurturing a mutually trusting relationship. Trust inherently requires more than what we think. Lao Taz said, "He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted." Leaders often fail to understand the connection between empowerment, engagement and trust. When we allow others to be leaders in the organization, engagement increases and trust is stronger within the organization for the leader and others. Trust does not occur spontaneously. Leaders must continuously seek opportunities to strengthen trust within the organization by developing a culture of interdependence through positive relationships. One doesn't build trust during a crisis, but before one happens. The only way to meet the complexities of a crisis is by working together, which requires mutual trust between all members of the team.

Steps to Build Trust:

Be transparent; let people know when mistakes happen. Be open about decisions; embrace criticism to grow!

Work to make your district or school a self-reporting organization. Create and utilize a culture of self-reporting to hold the organization accountable to the governing board, state education agency and the general public.

Be willing to roll up your sleeves to help; don't just sit behind a desk or closed doors! Visibility is critical to trust.

Relationships. For communication, transparency and trust to work, the leader must have established a positive relationship with students, teachers, staff, parents and community members. Why? It goes back to what people expect of their leaders: faith, aspiration, compassion, transparency and service. David Gergen, a former advisor to several presidents, said, "At the heart of leadership is the leader's relationship with followers. People will entrust their hopes and dreams to another person only if they think the other is a reliable vessel." Successfully adapting to change at the magnitude that every school experienced this past spring required an unprecedented level of trust. School and district leaders who had worked diligently on growing relationships before COVID-19 did experience success; however, those leaders who had not built a relationship with stakeholders experienced-and continue to experience-the most difficulties.

Steps to Nurture Relationships:

Utilize a diverse committee structure to help make decisions in the district. Ensure all stakeholders are represented and their voice is valued in the decision-making process.

Be accessible to stakeholders virtually, in the community and even at home. Be empathetic to their concerns, needs and time. Yes, do house calls when parents/guardians or members of the community can't come to you.

Engage in as many face-to-face sit-down conversations with stakeholders; limit the use of phones and emails. Invite stakeholders to meet at their convenience. These intimate, face-to-face meetings show that you care and limit the possibility of comments being taken out of context.

Appreciate your role as a leader in the context of the community. Tell people how you appreciate their work, support and trust in your ability to serve them.

Final Thoughts

There is no magic formula for developing effective communication, transparency, trust and relationships. A cookie-cutter approach to any of these will appear superficial, unsympathetic and disconnected. Transformation is hard. Therefore, an authentic embrace of each pillar of transformative school leadership will make the process of effecting change less complicated and more rewarding to all that are involved.

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Four Pillars for Transformative School Leadership - Intellispark

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Transitioning schools from a traditional setting to a remote setting back in March was not only a pandemic emergency, but also a complicated leadership challenge. Reopening schools in the fall will be more complicated due to the fragmentation that will exist from such an overwhelming diversity of needs amongst our students, families, teachers and staff.

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TEL participants are a diverse group of current educational leaders and edupreneurs: superintendents, other district level leaders instruction, principals, instructional coaches, student well-being staff, educational service providers, SEL Coordinators, and teachers aspiring to take on a larger role in school and district leadership.

What brings us together is a commitment to integrating the threads of Leadership, Equity, SEL, and Mindfulness in a personal development model for educational leaders. This model has the possibility of catalyzing a system level transformation that represents the best opportunity for a vision of education that truly helps children each and every child succeed and flourish.

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TEL participants are a diverse group of current educational leaders and edupreneurs: superintendents, other district level leaders instruction, principals, instructional coaches, student well-being staff, educational service providers, SEL Coordinators, and teachers aspiring to take on a larger role in school and district leadership.

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The Ron Clark Academy is a nonprofit middle school & educator professional development facility that equips teachers with best practices that transform student learning experiences and promote academic and social success.

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Effective Education Leaders Practice Servant Leadership

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Spread the loveWhile it may seem counterintuitive, the best education leaders often act as servants. If you want to be great, if you want to be important; then you must find a way to serve others. When we put others in a position to win, it helps the entire organization to win.

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Personality types

Understand others

In our free type descriptions you'll learn what really drives, inspires, and worries different personality types, helping you build more meaningful relationships.

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Free personality test, type descriptions, relationship and career advice | 16Personalities

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Personality types In our free type descriptions you'll learn what really drives, inspires, and worries different personality types, helping you build more meaningful relationships.

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When we think of leadership skills and personality type, we often think of the more "domineering" types. ENTJs and ESTJs come to mind, at least for me, right away. But each personality has a unique way of leading that is all their own. Some types are given more opportunities to lead than others, and other types lead "in the background" by making suggestions and subtly maneuvering situations to their rightful course. Any type can be a leader, but every type is going to do it a little bit differently. Let's take a look at how each type can lead.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take the most accurate free online personality indicator here.
ISTJ - The Detail-Oriented Leader
ISTJs are quiet, careful leaders. They want to make sure that the people they lead have clear direction, consistent, honest leadership, and a logical plan of action. Because they have auxiliary Extraverted Thinking (Te), they may feel an irresistible urge to organize people and take charge of projects. They will take plenty of time to make sure their plans are detailed, accurate, and fact-based. They will make it easy for everyone to understand where they're going and how to get there. When making decisions for a company or team, they will focus first on the facts and details, and then they will look at pros and cons. Through everything they will try to stay objective and fair.

Possible Struggles: ISTJs can get so caught up in the details of a problem that they lose sight of the big picture. They can also have difficulty taking into account the emotions and needs of everyone they lead. Tactfulness and empathy can be a struggle for ISTJs who haven't gotten in touch with their tertiary feeling function. They should go to intuitive and/or feeling team members to get suggestions on how to maintain morale and get their desired strategic, big picture outcomes.

Related: Understanding ISTJ Sensing
ESTJ - The Decisive Leader
ESTJs are known as objective, efficient, and fair leaders. As Extraverted Thinking (Te) types, they get a thrill from making tough decisions and organizing a team to get a job done quickly. They are practical, sensible, and down-to-earth. While they may seem domineering to many, they truly enjoy collaborating with people and coming up with goals as a team. When they make decisions they will look at the facts, the pros and cons, and what the most logical process is. They are very "black and white" leaders and will generally be quick to find a clear direction and stick with it.

Possible Struggles: ESTJs have to be careful not to "steamroll" over other people's working styles, emotions, and differences. They may become so focused on impersonal pros and cons that they ignore how decisions might affect people in a personal way. They can also struggle with micro-managing the people they lead. They usually have a very clear idea of what they want and may have difficulty being open-minded to the suggestions of intuitive types. In mid-life when ESTJs develop their extraverted intuition, they may enjoy brainstorming with other intuitive types more.

Related: Understanding ESTJ Thinking
ISFJ - The Thoughtful Leader
ISFJs are extremely committed, conscientious, and devoted leaders. They know how to stay organized, meet deadlines, and care for their team. They will be careful not only to make sure jobs are done well, but to make sure harmony is maintained within the group. They are generous, thoughtful, detail-oriented leaders. They give specific instructions, are clear in their expectations, and will put the needs of their team above their own personal needs in many cases. When ISFJs make decisions, they will first consider how those decisions will impact other people. They will also look at the facts, details, and practical implications.

Possible Struggles: ISFJs are good at staying on track with goals, but they may struggle with knowing which goals to prioritize. They may struggle with seeing "the big picture" or strategizing effectively. They may also try to avoid confrontation to such a degree that they struggle with making decisions. If a decision might negatively impact anyone in their group they may not know how to move forward. Having one or two advisors who have a thinking or intuitive preference can help them to manage the strategic aspect of leading.

Related: Understanding ISFJ Feeling
ESFJ - The Generous Leader
ESFJs are encouraging, charismatic, and hard-working leaders. They empathize greatly with people and use that empathy and compassion to ensure that everyone is taken care of and heard. They are dedicated to their team and their shared goals, and they work in a timely, efficient manner. ESFJs are often called "servant leaders", this is because they will put the needs of their team ahead of their own needs. If a crisis erupts, the ESFJ will be helping and supporting others instead of looking out for themselves. They are very caring and task-oriented individuals who will lead with kindness and clarity.

Possible Struggles: While ESFJs are experts of diplomacy, they can struggle with strategy and long-range planning. They are good at short-term task completion and practical planning, but taking strategic risks for the long-term benefit of a company or team is a struggle for them. They also may struggle with remaining objective. They desire so much to maintain harmony in their group that tough decisions or prioritizing the needs of a company or vision over keeping everyone happy can be very difficult for them. If they can keep a thinking and/or intuitive type in an advisor position, this can help them to work out their big-picture vision and also ensure they balance their need for harmony with a logic-driven process.

Related: Understanding ESFJ Feeling
ISTP - The Tactical Leader
ISTPs are quiet, observant, and effective leaders. They are open-minded and casual, focusing on realistic opportunities, plans, and tactics for success. They are willing to hear many perspectives, and prefer to "live and let live". You don't have to worry about being micro-managed by an ISTP; they like to give others freedom to find their own unique paths towards success. They like to work alone, and they strive to find the most effective way to achieve goals using the least amount of unnecessary labor. They are adaptable, cool-headed in a crisis, and excellent at troubleshooting. When they make a decision, they will first think of the most logical approach. After that, they will try to find the most efficient, streamlined course of action.

Possible Struggles: ISTPs are good at solving problems in the present moment, but they can struggle with seeing a long-term vision or plan for the future. They may also be so impersonal that they can ignore the emotional needs of others. They may struggle with being "tied down" to a company or organization, especially if they start to disagree with values in that group. They tend to work best alone, and may turn down leadership opportunities if they feel it will infringe on their space. If they are determined to be in leadership positions, they often benefit by having intuitive and/or feeling advisors who can help them to come up with a long-range vision and maintain positive morale in their group.

Related: Why ISTPs Make the Best Action Heroes
ESTP - The Fearless Leader
ESTPs are charismatic, effective, and fun-loving leaders. They are excellent at seeing opportunities and taking advantage of them quickly. They are skilled troubleshooters, inspiring speakers, and usually lend humor and adventure to any endeavor. They are masters of solving problems on the fly and facing adversity with courage and optimism. The ESTP will try to be as logical as possible when making decisions. They will think of the pros and cons, and try to find the most streamlined, effective path towards success. Because ESTPs have tertiary Extraverted Feeling (Fe), they tend to know how to present plans in a way that will motivate others and maintain morale.

Possible Struggles: ESTPs are quick to see opportunities, but often find the technicalities of reaching a long-range vision frustrating. They don't tend to enjoy dwelling excessively on the future, and can tire of planning ahead. ESTPs also love their personal freedom and can feel trapped if they are stuck in an organization or culture that asks too much of their time. They may struggle with staying committed to a vision or plan, always seeing new and different opportunities that seem more appealing. ESTPs who are committed to leadership can be helped by having an intuitive advisor to help them with some of the theoretical, long-range planning.

Related: Understanding ESTP Sensing
ISFP - The Sensitive Leader
ISFPs are unassuming, gentle, and compassionate leaders. They are good listeners, adaptable in their vision, and empathetic in their approach. They usually lead quietly, and will only seek out leadership positions in companies or organizations they truly believe in. They work best if they are leading a cause that will help people, especially those that are persecuted or marginalized. They believe in standing up for the underdog, so this is often where you'll see them lead most determinedly. When ISFPs make decisions, they will first consider how that decision aligns with their conscience and values, then they will think about how that decision will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: ISFPs tend to be flexible and hands-on in their work, and can feel frustrated if they are stuck in an office all day with rigid rules and deadlines. They can feel overwhelmed by long to-do lists and by living up to the expectations of other people. They can also have difficulty finding the most logical, objective approach to meeting a goal. Delivering tough news to team-mates, or firing people can be extremely stressful for them. ISFPs who are determined to be in leadership would be helped by having Intuitive and/or Thinking advisors who can help them to see strategic, long-range plans and can handle critiquing or correcting employees or teammates.

Related: INFPs, ISFPs and Empathic Mirroring
ESFP - The Charismatic Leader
ESFPs are extremely likeable, fun-loving, and inspiring leaders. They are very in-tune to the needs of their team and will lead with honesty and compassion. They get excited about new opportunities and they are quick to adapt to changes. They don't mind getting "into the trenches" to get a job done and to connect with the people around them. They know how to lift up their teammates, encourage them, and make the most of each moment. When they make decisions they will first consider how realistic or exciting the outcome will be. They will also think about how that decision will align with their values, and how it will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: ESFPs are free-spirits who don't like to be tied down or overwhelmed with long to-do lists. They can struggle with long-term commitments unless that commitment stirs their values or compassion for people. ESFPs like to take advantage of the moment, and they are excellent at solving problems spontaneously, but they can tire of focusing extensively on the future. They can also struggle to remain objective in decision-making since they are so concerned about how decisions will impact people. ESFPs who are determined to be in leadership can be helped by getting advice from intuitive and/or thinking friends who can help them with theoretical, big-picture planning.

Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ESFP
INTJ - The Strategic Leader
INTJs lead with vision, rationality, and determination. They are guided by their intuition to see strategic pathways to a future goal. They have no problem directing, delegating, and putting plans into place. INTJs have a calm, focused demeanor that inspires confidence in their teammates. They develop enterprising plans and they have a strong determination to see those plans succeed. When they make decisions, they will first consider how those decisions will play out in the future. Then they will think of the most efficient, logical course of action.

Possible Struggles: INTJs can get so caught up in their vision that they lose sight of details that may be important. They can also struggle with maintaining morale because they tend to disregard "social niceties" or tact in favor of being objective and decisive. Because INTJs are intuitive-dominant, they may have difficulties putting their vision into words that will motivate sensing types. INTJs who are in leadership positions tend to be more balanced when they have sensing and/or feeling advisors who can help them to see important details and maintain morale with team members.

Related: Understanding INTJ Intuition
ENTJ - The Assertive Leader
ENTJs lead with confidence, strategic insight, and decisiveness. These straight-forward, ambitious leaders inspire confidence in their team-mates. You can count on them to deliver on their promises and dream big. ENTJs will lead with honesty; saying what they mean, and sometimes not in the most conscientious manner. However, their determination and hard work is an example that will motivate others. Their visionary outlook will inspire the people around them, and their rational logic and swift decisiveness will keep things moving at a steady pace. They may not be the most sensitive people in the room, but they're often the most driven and intensely focused. When they make decisions they will first focus on what's logical, what will work quickly, followed by what will work most effectively in the long run.

Possible Struggles: ENTJs have to work to take their teammates feelings and needs into account. They are so determined to be objective and get things done quickly that they can "steamroll" over the feelings and ideas of other people. They can also be so caught up in getting things done quickly and so focused on their vision that they miss out on important details that need attending to. ENTJs work best when they have a mixed team of advisors. Fellow intuitives can help flesh out the ENTJ's innovative ideas. Sensors can help them to see the details. Feeling types can help the ENTJ to maintain morale and take into account people's personal needs.

Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENTJ
INTP - The Unconventional Leader
INTPs lead with accuracy, knowledge, and open-minded curiosity. These aren't your typical "do what I say or else!" leaders. INTPs strive to be democratic leaders, taking in opinions and ensuring that everyone feels heard (even if they disagree with their opinions). INTPs are not micro-managers or dictators. They like to give their teammates freedom to creatively find solutions to problems. That said, they will step in quickly if they see their company or organization headed toward dangerous waters. Their insight and strategic thinking make it easy for them to see how things will play out and how to avoid trouble. They have a strong vision for the future, and they will try to casually and gradually lead others towards that vision.

Possible Struggles: INTPs are extremely autonomous individuals, and will tire of leadership positions that put them in crowded rooms and at the mercy of other people's schedules and whims. They tend to like leading in the background through suggestions and with plenty of space to think creatively. INTPs also dislike bureaucratic "red tape" and get frustrated by dealing with details that get in the way of their overall goal. Several INTPs I spoke with found having ESXP partners helpful. They could inspire team-members, keep people motivated, and take care of the details when the INTP needs alone time to think.

Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTP
ENTP - The Innovative Leader
ENTPs are enterprising, strategic, and competitive leaders. They have a knack for entrepreneurship and they strive to challenge themselves and continually grow. They are intensely focused on their vision, always moving forward, always experimenting, always trying something new. ENTP leaders quickly see potential pitfalls and are skilled at troubleshooting and problem-solving in a crisis. They have a strong visionary focus and try to inspire that same vision and hopeful determination in their teammates. When ENTPs make decisions, they will focus first on how decisions could play out, what opportunities might be available, and then what the most logical course of action is.

Possible Struggles: ENTPs can get so excited about new possibilities that they leave other projects unfinished. They can struggle with procrastination or finding ways to prioritize their many visions and plans. They may unintentionally overwork their staff and teammates as they try to give priority to every single idea and possibility that comes into their mind. They can also be debative and overly competitive with their teammates, unintentionally offending others or steamrolling over their ideas or values. Many ENTPs find the advice of a trusted feeling partner helpful as they can offer advice about how to maintain morale and communicate praise.

Related: Understanding ENTP Intuition
INFJ - The Perceptive Leader
INFJs are passionate, insightful, and visionary leaders. They are most often found in leadership positions that have a humanitarian cause. They believe in taking care of their team, listening to them, and understanding where everyone is coming from. They are strategic in their vision, always looking forward to a future goal and finding innovative ways to get there. They are perfectionistic and demanding of themselves, but encouraging and motivating to their team. When they make decisions, they will first consider how a decision will play out in the future, and how that decision will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: INFJs can be workaholics as leaders and can burn themselves out as they push themselves to an unattainable "perfect" standard. INFJs also may struggle with presenting their vision in a clear way, with sequential steps and a straightforward course. Because INFJs keep their visions mostly internalized (through Introverted Intuition), they often feel flustered when trying to put that vision out into the world. This can be frustrating for them and the people they work with. INFJs also struggle with giving negative feedback or dealing with conflict situations. Conflict is anathema to the INFJ and they may ignore negative situations or handing out criticism when it's needed. They are often helped by having a partner or advisor with a thinking preference who can help them to deal with conflict situations and maintain objectivity.

Related: Understanding INFJ Intuition
ENFJ - The Passionate Leader
ENFJs are charismatic, understanding, and motivational leaders. They believe in encouraging their team, leading by example, and making the world a better place. They are organized and goal-oriented, always keeping a clear eye on the future and motivating their team to work together to get there. They are very disciplined and focused, but also deeply concerned about taking care of their team and understanding where everyone is coming from. They are not afraid to get in the trenches with their team and work hard alongside them to make plans succeed. They use their intuition and feeling to navigate social settings with ease, making them excellent diplomats.

Possible Struggles: ENFJs hate conflict and try to be encouraging and withhold criticism as much as possible. This can cause negative situations to escalate as they put off dealing with them for too long. They may also be so focused on their personal relationships that they lose sight of a clear, objective, logical course of action. As EJ types, ENFJs can also be too hasty to make decisions and may need to remind themselves to take the time to reflect on decisions before moving forward. ENFJs are often helped by having an ISTX or INTX advisor on their team. These types (although very different from each other) can help them to take the time see alternate viewpoints and logical ways to deal with conflict situations.

Related: How ENFJs Handle Conflict
INFP - The Sincere Leader
INFPs are passionate, caring, and empathetic leaders. They often take up leadership positions that allow them to fight for a humanitarian cause they believe in. They are very innovative in their plans, and open-minded to hear many different viewpoints. They have excellent written communication skills and are skilled at conveying a viewpoint in a moving and compassionate manner. They are excellent listeners, encouraging leaders, and passionate in their pursuits. More than anything, the INFP leader longs to improve the world for people. When they make a decision, they will first consider how that decision will align with their values and morals. Afterwards, they will consider how that decision will affect the people involved.

Possible Struggles: INFPs are very accepting people who like to create an encouraging atmosphere for their team. They may struggle with dishing out criticism or dealing with conflict. Unless someone has violated one of their personal values, they may refrain from giving correction. They may also struggle with accepting criticism from their team. Leaders inevitably get criticism at some point from their teammates, and this can also be a struggle for INFPs who take criticism very personally. INFPs find a lot of deadlines and huge to-do lists overwhelming, and they may find themselves feeling trapped if they are having to rush to get everything done. INFPs can be helped by having advisors with a thinking or judging preference. The thinking types can help them to stay objective, and the judging types can help them to prioritize and manage deadlines.

Related: 10 Surprising Truths About INFPs
ENFP - The Inspirational Leader
ENFPs lead with imagination, vision, and passion. They are resourceful individuals who find many innovative ways to make a difference in the world. They tend to have frequent brainstorming sessions with their team and enjoy giving everyone a chance to speak their mind. They are encouraging and uplifting, inspiring others with all their ideas and all the possibilities they see around them. ENFPs are not micro-managers and they enjoy giving their team the freedom to complete tasks in their own creative ways. They don't mind sharing leadership and they are very open to a plethora of ideas and viewpoints. When making decisions, ENFPs focus first on the potential possibilities of each decision, then they think about how that decision will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: ENFPs may struggle with prioritizing their many ideas. Some ENFPs try to give each of their ideas and ambitions equal priority and wind up overworking themselves or their team. ENFPs can also struggle with finishing projects. They may feel pulled to so many new ideas and projects, that they lose interest in the projects they've already started and leave them unfinished. ENFPs may struggle with keeping track of the details of all their tasks. They may get so focused on their vision that they lose track of important facts and nuances that need attending to. Many ENFPs find that having an SJ advisor or partner helps them to prioritize, keep track of details, and follow through on important tasks.

What Do You Think? Do you have any experience or thoughts you'd like to add? Let me know in the comments!
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The Leadership Styles of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type - Psychology Junkie

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When we think of leadership skills and personality type, we often think of the more "domineering" types. ENTJs and ESTJs come to mind, at least for me, right away. But each personality has a unique way of leading that is all their own.

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Parents, teachers, and students all want to know what personal qualities will help students perform well in their studies. While teaching quality, resources, and other environmental factors help students achieve their best, students' personal qualities can give them an edge over others.

Past research has found two personal qualities that are important for student success. The first quality is intelligence. Being smart enough to master algebra and coding is obviously important for success. The second quality is conscientiousness. Being organized enough to remember your homework and organize your notes is another clear advantage.

It isn't hard to see why being smart and working hard would help students get better grades and higher test scores. Students' IQ scores explain about 15 percent of the differences in achievement. Conscientiousness explains about 5 percent of such differences.

But research shows that emotional intelligence can also give students a critical edge.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, use, understand, and manage emotions.

Some emotional intelligence tests use rating scales. For example, test-takers might rate their agreement with statements like "I am aware of the nonverbal messages other people send." Other emotional intelligence tests directly measure emotional abilities with skill-based tasks. For example, test takers would have to identify which emotion is expressed in a face.

Our new research paper showed that emotionally intelligent students get better exam results and better grades. This meta-analysis summarized 1,246 research findings on the link between emotional intelligence and academic performance. While these findings could not directly show a cause-and-effect relationship between emotion-related characteristics and performance, they do reveal notable associations between them. Overall, we found that differences in students' emotional intelligence could account for about 4 percent of differences in achievement.

But some types of emotional intelligence were more strongly related to achievement than others. Skill-based tasks of emotional intelligence accounted for 6 percent of differences in academic performance whereas self-ratings of emotional abilities accounted for 1 percent of differences.

But also, some kinds of abilities seemed to be especially significant-including understanding emotions and managing emotions.

Students who can understand emotions can accurately label their own and others' emotions. They know what causes emotions, how emotions change, and how emotions combine.

Students who can manage emotions know how to regulate their emotions in stressful situations. They know what to do to maintain good social relationships with others.

Emotion management ability accounted for 7 percent of differences in academic performance.

Emotion understanding skills accounted for 12 percent.

That is, measures of emotion understanding skills seem to account for student success to a greater extent than measures of conscientiousness (5 percent), and almost as much as IQ scores (15 percent).

Why would emotional intelligence be important for success in education?

There are three likely reasons why emotional intelligence relates to higher academic performance.

First, emotional intelligence helps students cope with emotions in the academic environment. Students can feel anxious about exams, feel disappointed with poor results, feel frustrated when they try hard but cannot achieve what they want, or feel bored when the subject matter is not interesting. Being able to regulate these emotions so they do not interfere with learning helps students achieve.

Second, emotional intelligence can help students maintain their relationships with teachers, students, and family. Maintaining close personal relationships means they can call on friends and teachers to help them when they struggle, can learn from others in group work, or can call on others for emotional support.

Third, humanities subjects (like literature or history) require some level of emotional and social knowledge. For example, the universal themes and character development in literature requires understanding human motivations and emotions.

What do emotionally intelligent students do differently that allows them to succeed at school?

Emotionally intelligent students know more about emotions, which makes studying arts or humanities subjects easier for them. But what they do differently is mainly how they regulate their emotions. There are three ways emotion regulation would be different for high emotional intelligence versus low emotional intelligence students.

First, emotionally intelligent students use better processes to regulate their emotions. We know that some processes are more effective than others. For example, concentrating on negative emotions (rumination) is linked to worse outcomes, whereas looking on the bright side (positive reappraisal) is linked to better outcomes. We know that emotionally intelligent people generally report using more of the better processes (like positive reappraisal) less of the worse processes (like rumination).

Second, emotionally intelligent students might pick strategies that are more appropriate or effective for the situation they are in. That is, they may be more sensitive to key details of the situation, and therefore be more flexible in their responses. We know that positive reappraisal is linked to well-being in uncontrollable situations (where nothing can be done about the stress) but not controllable situations (where perhaps it is better to change the situation than change the way you think about it). Perhaps emotionally intelligent people are more sensitive to whether situations are in their control or not, and pick their strategies accordingly.

Third, emotionally intelligent students might implement the strategies better. For example, when using 'positive reappraisal', an emotionally intelligent student might be able to think of a feasible positive spin or silver lining. In contrast, a low-EI student might only be able to think a vague or unrealistic positive view of things, which would be less effective for making them feel better.

How could this play out in a student's day?

Consider a hypothetical student Cooper, who is good at maths and science but has low emotional intelligence abilities. She has difficulty seeing when others are irritated, worried, or sad. She does not know how people's emotions may cause future behavior. She does not know what to do to regulate her own feelings. A typical day of school for Cooper shows how her low emotional intelligence can interfere with a student's ability to achieve at school.

Cooper arrives at school. Her best friend Alice is staring at the ground with her arms folded. Her eyes are a little red and puffy. Cooper tells her about a cool TV show she watched last night. Alice does not seem interested so Cooper goes to talk to someone else. Because Cooper has poor ability to perceive Alice's emotions, she has not noticed anything is wrong. Alice is upset that Cooper did not show any sympathy for her. Alice tells Cooper that she is not a good friend.

Cooper goes into class. The class is meant to analyze the motivations and emotions of the characters in the book they are reading. Cooper finds this very hard. She is not able to answer many of the questions. Alice sometimes helps Cooper with things like this, but she is mad at Cooper today and refuses to help. Alice rolls her eyes and says that the questions are easy.

Cooper feels ashamed that she can't do the work other students seem to find easy. She is also upset that Alice is mad at her. She can't seem to shake these feelings, and she is not able to concentrate on her math problems in the next class. Because of her low emotion management ability, Cooper cannot bounce back from her negative emotions.

This example shows how paying attention to building a student's emotional intelligence can help them learn, achieve, and succeed at school.

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Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed at School

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Parents, teachers, and students all want to know what personal qualities will help students perform well in their studies. While teaching quality, resources, and other environmental factors help students achieve their best, students' personal qualities can give them an edge over others. Past research has found two personal qualities that are important for student success.

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Here are tips for teachers to help build emotional intelligence in their students.

Teaching children how to manage their emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others is an important part of education. Emotional intelligence is the base of building soft skills which students will need later on in their career and life in general. Teachers need to help students develop the basics of social and emotional intelligence.
Here are a few tips for teachers to develop emotional intelligence in students at school:
1. Model and impart respect

Learning to be respectful toward others is an important life lesson. Obviously, the polite use of language and encouraging children to imitate your behavior is one of the best ways to model respect.

You also can model respect by being mindful and valuing children's cultural and language backgrounds.

2. Instill perseverance and determination

Self-motivation is a key component of social and emotional learning and a necessity for kids to accomplish things in life.

While there are many students who will naturally strive to better themselves in some way, there are other students who need a little more coaching in this area.

Remind students that to experience success they must put forward effort and perseverance. And if you see students making a really strong effort but still falling short of the grade, praise them for their hard work and encourage them to keep trying until they master it.

3. Incorporate character education

Character education encourages the development of ethical and responsible students. Teach your students the importance of having good values, being honest, being trustworthy and taking responsibility for their actions.

Name that emotion Label the Emotion

It may seem obvious, but even the act of naming the emotion you are seeing can help you more fully understand it. Is that person happy, irritated, angry or confused?

4. Recognize tone of voice

The good news is that tone of voice can be practiced. Demonstrate what it sounds like when you are being disingenuous or patronizing.

Now have students practice what it sounds like when they are being genuine and complimentary. There are subtle differences in tone that can help us understand one another.

5. Listen for understanding

Most people listen with the intention of responding, but encourage your students to listen with

the intention of understanding.

Paying attention to the subtle clues of facial expression, noticing a person's posture and listening to the tone of voice will help your students truly hear what the person is trying to express.

6. Respond with empathy

An empathetic response shows that you care about the other person. This is a skill that is dicult for adults, as well.

Avoid giving advice, one-upping, analyzing, or correcting the person. Sometimes the only response needed is just to let the speaker know they have been heard.

7. Impart resiliency

When resilient kids are bullied, they are less likely to suffer as many consequences as kids who are not resilient or secure in what they believe.

They also bounce back quicker, are mindful of their opinions, and understand their beliefs, all of which gives them a strong sense of who they are.

Why learning emotional intelligence is important

Emotional intelligence enables students to have positive interactions with others, to anticipate their feelings and to experience appropriate levels of empathy.

Empathy helps kids develop positive relationships, which is the cornerstone of social and emotional learning. Encourage your students to listen to others and ask them to try to understand how others might be feeling.

The importance of building Emotional Intelligence in schools helps in building relationships and preparing students to be global leaders.
- Article by Niraalee Shah, CEO India, The British School of Etiquette India Read: Students' emotional intelligence key for success in school: Study Read: How emotional intelligence benefits students Read: Importance of emotional intelligence for today's leaders

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How to build emotional intelligence in school

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Here are tips for teachers to help build emotional intelligence in their students. Teaching children how to manage their emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others is an important part of education. Emotional intelligence is the base of building soft skills which students will need later on in their career and life in general.

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We have all met school counselors who are highly skilled and confident professionals that are just waiting to emerge as leaders. What our profession deserves more than anything now are school counselors in leadership roles within their school communities. Many districts have directors or supervisors of school counseling services. However, many in those roles serve a more administrative purpose instead of having a clear focus on school counseling services. School counselors who are leaders need to apply for and create these roles, where our field is front and center.

So how can school counselors interested in leadership thrive?

Program Development: What services are delivered by your school counselors and what is the foundation for these services? Consider the ASCA National Model. Do you have a curriculum that is followed?

Data Usage: What kind of data does your office collect and analyze to improve your school counseling services? Consider grades, attendance, test scores, behavior, surveys and other assessments to gauge student interest and participation in school tasks or specific school counseling activities (groups, classroom lessons, individual counseling).

Professional Advocacy: What are your interests in our field and do you write or post about them, present or teach them? Think about articles for newsletters, magazines or journals, presentation proposals for conferences, workshops in college classes or professional development at your school or in your district.

Identity and Image: What are some of the ways you declare and define the role of the school counselor to your school community? Do you correct colleagues if they say "guidance counselor" and explain why? Do you actively dispel myths about our career? Do you explain our role and know when to say no to the inappropriate duties? Do you continuously strive to prevent school counselors from being the scapegoats?

Highlights and Celebration: How do you acknowledge and honor the amazing work that is being done by school counselors? Do you celebrate National School Counseling Week at your school? Is there a bulletin board or newsletter showcasing the department's activities?

Many school counselors may have some hesitation to pursue an administrative role because of the fear that many other non-school counseling duties may be placed onto them. Depending on the district, this may occur, but if you are hired with one of the major goals being to build and sustain a strong and powerful school counseling department, then your responsibilities and your schedule can be built around this. Your intent has to be clear and your agenda has to be thought through. You have to be well-informed, reflective and open-minded.
There is a fine balance between the role of the school counselor and that of a school administrator. Someone who serves as a supervisor or director of school counseling services has an incredible opportunity to bridge these two worlds and use their skill set as a counselor - which includes empathy, patience and understanding - and merge them with the talents of an effective administrator, such as vision, determination and team-building. Many of these and other qualities, such as forethought and intuition, overlap in both roles. And the merging of the two can allow a true school counselor leader to evolve.

There are challenges due to the pressure felt by school counselors on their level and those faced at a managerial level, as well. But with a true comprehension of what comprises an effective school counseling department, a leader in this department can work smart and find the significance in many different types of projects.

Questions to ask yourself if you are considering school counselor leadership:

Where do the different tasks assigned fit in and what happens if they do not?

What tasks can we create and place in our schedule first?

How can we seriously change what is not working?

How can we work more efficiently and not repeat work or waste time?

How can we go home every single day having done work that matters?

If you are considering a school counselor leadership role, know that it can be a very fulfilling one and many of us are out here to support you in your endeavor.
Sweety Patel is a school counselor at Renaissance Institute/U-CAN Academy with Jersey City Public Schools.

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One Step Further: Leadership in School Counseling | American School Counselor Association (ASCA)

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We have all met school counselors who are highly skilled and confident professionals that are just waiting to emerge as leaders. What our profession deserves more than anything now are school counselors in leadership roles within their school communities. Many districts have directors or supervisors of school counseling services.

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When we think of leadership skills and personality type, we often think of the more "domineering" types. ENTJs and ESTJs come to mind, at least for me, right away. But each personality has a unique way of leading that is all their own. Some types are given more opportunities to lead than others, and other types lead "in the background" by making suggestions and subtly maneuvering situations to their rightful course. Any type can be a leader, but every type is going to do it a little bit differently. Let's take a look at how each type can lead.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take the most accurate free online personality indicator here.
ISTJ - The Detail-Oriented Leader
ISTJs are quiet, careful leaders. They want to make sure that the people they lead have clear direction, consistent, honest leadership, and a logical plan of action. Because they have auxiliary Extraverted Thinking (Te), they may feel an irresistible urge to organize people and take charge of projects. They will take plenty of time to make sure their plans are detailed, accurate, and fact-based. They will make it easy for everyone to understand where they're going and how to get there. When making decisions for a company or team, they will focus first on the facts and details, and then they will look at pros and cons. Through everything they will try to stay objective and fair.

Possible Struggles: ISTJs can get so caught up in the details of a problem that they lose sight of the big picture. They can also have difficulty taking into account the emotions and needs of everyone they lead. Tactfulness and empathy can be a struggle for ISTJs who haven't gotten in touch with their tertiary feeling function. They should go to intuitive and/or feeling team members to get suggestions on how to maintain morale and get their desired strategic, big picture outcomes.

Related: Understanding ISTJ Sensing
ESTJ - The Decisive Leader
ESTJs are known as objective, efficient, and fair leaders. As Extraverted Thinking (Te) types, they get a thrill from making tough decisions and organizing a team to get a job done quickly. They are practical, sensible, and down-to-earth. While they may seem domineering to many, they truly enjoy collaborating with people and coming up with goals as a team. When they make decisions they will look at the facts, the pros and cons, and what the most logical process is. They are very "black and white" leaders and will generally be quick to find a clear direction and stick with it.

Possible Struggles: ESTJs have to be careful not to "steamroll" over other people's working styles, emotions, and differences. They may become so focused on impersonal pros and cons that they ignore how decisions might affect people in a personal way. They can also struggle with micro-managing the people they lead. They usually have a very clear idea of what they want and may have difficulty being open-minded to the suggestions of intuitive types. In mid-life when ESTJs develop their extraverted intuition, they may enjoy brainstorming with other intuitive types more.

Related: Understanding ESTJ Thinking
ISFJ - The Thoughtful Leader
ISFJs are extremely committed, conscientious, and devoted leaders. They know how to stay organized, meet deadlines, and care for their team. They will be careful not only to make sure jobs are done well, but to make sure harmony is maintained within the group. They are generous, thoughtful, detail-oriented leaders. They give specific instructions, are clear in their expectations, and will put the needs of their team above their own personal needs in many cases. When ISFJs make decisions, they will first consider how those decisions will impact other people. They will also look at the facts, details, and practical implications.

Possible Struggles: ISFJs are good at staying on track with goals, but they may struggle with knowing which goals to prioritize. They may struggle with seeing "the big picture" or strategizing effectively. They may also try to avoid confrontation to such a degree that they struggle with making decisions. If a decision might negatively impact anyone in their group they may not know how to move forward. Having one or two advisors who have a thinking or intuitive preference can help them to manage the strategic aspect of leading.

Related: Understanding ISFJ Feeling
ESFJ - The Generous Leader
ESFJs are encouraging, charismatic, and hard-working leaders. They empathize greatly with people and use that empathy and compassion to ensure that everyone is taken care of and heard. They are dedicated to their team and their shared goals, and they work in a timely, efficient manner. ESFJs are often called "servant leaders", this is because they will put the needs of their team ahead of their own needs. If a crisis erupts, the ESFJ will be helping and supporting others instead of looking out for themselves. They are very caring and task-oriented individuals who will lead with kindness and clarity.

Possible Struggles: While ESFJs are experts of diplomacy, they can struggle with strategy and long-range planning. They are good at short-term task completion and practical planning, but taking strategic risks for the long-term benefit of a company or team is a struggle for them. They also may struggle with remaining objective. They desire so much to maintain harmony in their group that tough decisions or prioritizing the needs of a company or vision over keeping everyone happy can be very difficult for them. If they can keep a thinking and/or intuitive type in an advisor position, this can help them to work out their big-picture vision and also ensure they balance their need for harmony with a logic-driven process.

Related: Understanding ESFJ Feeling
ISTP - The Tactical Leader
ISTPs are quiet, observant, and effective leaders. They are open-minded and casual, focusing on realistic opportunities, plans, and tactics for success. They are willing to hear many perspectives, and prefer to "live and let live". You don't have to worry about being micro-managed by an ISTP; they like to give others freedom to find their own unique paths towards success. They like to work alone, and they strive to find the most effective way to achieve goals using the least amount of unnecessary labor. They are adaptable, cool-headed in a crisis, and excellent at troubleshooting. When they make a decision, they will first think of the most logical approach. After that, they will try to find the most efficient, streamlined course of action.

Possible Struggles: ISTPs are good at solving problems in the present moment, but they can struggle with seeing a long-term vision or plan for the future. They may also be so impersonal that they can ignore the emotional needs of others. They may struggle with being "tied down" to a company or organization, especially if they start to disagree with values in that group. They tend to work best alone, and may turn down leadership opportunities if they feel it will infringe on their space. If they are determined to be in leadership positions, they often benefit by having intuitive and/or feeling advisors who can help them to come up with a long-range vision and maintain positive morale in their group.

Related: Why ISTPs Make the Best Action Heroes
ESTP - The Fearless Leader
ESTPs are charismatic, effective, and fun-loving leaders. They are excellent at seeing opportunities and taking advantage of them quickly. They are skilled troubleshooters, inspiring speakers, and usually lend humor and adventure to any endeavor. They are masters of solving problems on the fly and facing adversity with courage and optimism. The ESTP will try to be as logical as possible when making decisions. They will think of the pros and cons, and try to find the most streamlined, effective path towards success. Because ESTPs have tertiary Extraverted Feeling (Fe), they tend to know how to present plans in a way that will motivate others and maintain morale.

Possible Struggles: ESTPs are quick to see opportunities, but often find the technicalities of reaching a long-range vision frustrating. They don't tend to enjoy dwelling excessively on the future, and can tire of planning ahead. ESTPs also love their personal freedom and can feel trapped if they are stuck in an organization or culture that asks too much of their time. They may struggle with staying committed to a vision or plan, always seeing new and different opportunities that seem more appealing. ESTPs who are committed to leadership can be helped by having an intuitive advisor to help them with some of the theoretical, long-range planning.

Related: Understanding ESTP Sensing
ISFP - The Sensitive Leader
ISFPs are unassuming, gentle, and compassionate leaders. They are good listeners, adaptable in their vision, and empathetic in their approach. They usually lead quietly, and will only seek out leadership positions in companies or organizations they truly believe in. They work best if they are leading a cause that will help people, especially those that are persecuted or marginalized. They believe in standing up for the underdog, so this is often where you'll see them lead most determinedly. When ISFPs make decisions, they will first consider how that decision aligns with their conscience and values, then they will think about how that decision will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: ISFPs tend to be flexible and hands-on in their work, and can feel frustrated if they are stuck in an office all day with rigid rules and deadlines. They can feel overwhelmed by long to-do lists and by living up to the expectations of other people. They can also have difficulty finding the most logical, objective approach to meeting a goal. Delivering tough news to team-mates, or firing people can be extremely stressful for them. ISFPs who are determined to be in leadership would be helped by having Intuitive and/or Thinking advisors who can help them to see strategic, long-range plans and can handle critiquing or correcting employees or teammates.

Related: INFPs, ISFPs and Empathic Mirroring
ESFP - The Charismatic Leader
ESFPs are extremely likeable, fun-loving, and inspiring leaders. They are very in-tune to the needs of their team and will lead with honesty and compassion. They get excited about new opportunities and they are quick to adapt to changes. They don't mind getting "into the trenches" to get a job done and to connect with the people around them. They know how to lift up their teammates, encourage them, and make the most of each moment. When they make decisions they will first consider how realistic or exciting the outcome will be. They will also think about how that decision will align with their values, and how it will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: ESFPs are free-spirits who don't like to be tied down or overwhelmed with long to-do lists. They can struggle with long-term commitments unless that commitment stirs their values or compassion for people. ESFPs like to take advantage of the moment, and they are excellent at solving problems spontaneously, but they can tire of focusing extensively on the future. They can also struggle to remain objective in decision-making since they are so concerned about how decisions will impact people. ESFPs who are determined to be in leadership can be helped by getting advice from intuitive and/or thinking friends who can help them with theoretical, big-picture planning.

Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ESFP
INTJ - The Strategic Leader
INTJs lead with vision, rationality, and determination. They are guided by their intuition to see strategic pathways to a future goal. They have no problem directing, delegating, and putting plans into place. INTJs have a calm, focused demeanor that inspires confidence in their teammates. They develop enterprising plans and they have a strong determination to see those plans succeed. When they make decisions, they will first consider how those decisions will play out in the future. Then they will think of the most efficient, logical course of action.

Possible Struggles: INTJs can get so caught up in their vision that they lose sight of details that may be important. They can also struggle with maintaining morale because they tend to disregard "social niceties" or tact in favor of being objective and decisive. Because INTJs are intuitive-dominant, they may have difficulties putting their vision into words that will motivate sensing types. INTJs who are in leadership positions tend to be more balanced when they have sensing and/or feeling advisors who can help them to see important details and maintain morale with team members.

Related: Understanding INTJ Intuition
ENTJ - The Assertive Leader
ENTJs lead with confidence, strategic insight, and decisiveness. These straight-forward, ambitious leaders inspire confidence in their team-mates. You can count on them to deliver on their promises and dream big. ENTJs will lead with honesty; saying what they mean, and sometimes not in the most conscientious manner. However, their determination and hard work is an example that will motivate others. Their visionary outlook will inspire the people around them, and their rational logic and swift decisiveness will keep things moving at a steady pace. They may not be the most sensitive people in the room, but they're often the most driven and intensely focused. When they make decisions they will first focus on what's logical, what will work quickly, followed by what will work most effectively in the long run.

Possible Struggles: ENTJs have to work to take their teammates feelings and needs into account. They are so determined to be objective and get things done quickly that they can "steamroll" over the feelings and ideas of other people. They can also be so caught up in getting things done quickly and so focused on their vision that they miss out on important details that need attending to. ENTJs work best when they have a mixed team of advisors. Fellow intuitives can help flesh out the ENTJ's innovative ideas. Sensors can help them to see the details. Feeling types can help the ENTJ to maintain morale and take into account people's personal needs.

Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENTJ
INTP - The Unconventional Leader
INTPs lead with accuracy, knowledge, and open-minded curiosity. These aren't your typical "do what I say or else!" leaders. INTPs strive to be democratic leaders, taking in opinions and ensuring that everyone feels heard (even if they disagree with their opinions). INTPs are not micro-managers or dictators. They like to give their teammates freedom to creatively find solutions to problems. That said, they will step in quickly if they see their company or organization headed toward dangerous waters. Their insight and strategic thinking make it easy for them to see how things will play out and how to avoid trouble. They have a strong vision for the future, and they will try to casually and gradually lead others towards that vision.

Possible Struggles: INTPs are extremely autonomous individuals, and will tire of leadership positions that put them in crowded rooms and at the mercy of other people's schedules and whims. They tend to like leading in the background through suggestions and with plenty of space to think creatively. INTPs also dislike bureaucratic "red tape" and get frustrated by dealing with details that get in the way of their overall goal. Several INTPs I spoke with found having ESXP partners helpful. They could inspire team-members, keep people motivated, and take care of the details when the INTP needs alone time to think.

Related: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTP
ENTP - The Innovative Leader
ENTPs are enterprising, strategic, and competitive leaders. They have a knack for entrepreneurship and they strive to challenge themselves and continually grow. They are intensely focused on their vision, always moving forward, always experimenting, always trying something new. ENTP leaders quickly see potential pitfalls and are skilled at troubleshooting and problem-solving in a crisis. They have a strong visionary focus and try to inspire that same vision and hopeful determination in their teammates. When ENTPs make decisions, they will focus first on how decisions could play out, what opportunities might be available, and then what the most logical course of action is.

Possible Struggles: ENTPs can get so excited about new possibilities that they leave other projects unfinished. They can struggle with procrastination or finding ways to prioritize their many visions and plans. They may unintentionally overwork their staff and teammates as they try to give priority to every single idea and possibility that comes into their mind. They can also be debative and overly competitive with their teammates, unintentionally offending others or steamrolling over their ideas or values. Many ENTPs find the advice of a trusted feeling partner helpful as they can offer advice about how to maintain morale and communicate praise.

Related: Understanding ENTP Intuition
INFJ - The Perceptive Leader
INFJs are passionate, insightful, and visionary leaders. They are most often found in leadership positions that have a humanitarian cause. They believe in taking care of their team, listening to them, and understanding where everyone is coming from. They are strategic in their vision, always looking forward to a future goal and finding innovative ways to get there. They are perfectionistic and demanding of themselves, but encouraging and motivating to their team. When they make decisions, they will first consider how a decision will play out in the future, and how that decision will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: INFJs can be workaholics as leaders and can burn themselves out as they push themselves to an unattainable "perfect" standard. INFJs also may struggle with presenting their vision in a clear way, with sequential steps and a straightforward course. Because INFJs keep their visions mostly internalized (through Introverted Intuition), they often feel flustered when trying to put that vision out into the world. This can be frustrating for them and the people they work with. INFJs also struggle with giving negative feedback or dealing with conflict situations. Conflict is anathema to the INFJ and they may ignore negative situations or handing out criticism when it's needed. They are often helped by having a partner or advisor with a thinking preference who can help them to deal with conflict situations and maintain objectivity.

Related: Understanding INFJ Intuition
ENFJ - The Passionate Leader
ENFJs are charismatic, understanding, and motivational leaders. They believe in encouraging their team, leading by example, and making the world a better place. They are organized and goal-oriented, always keeping a clear eye on the future and motivating their team to work together to get there. They are very disciplined and focused, but also deeply concerned about taking care of their team and understanding where everyone is coming from. They are not afraid to get in the trenches with their team and work hard alongside them to make plans succeed. They use their intuition and feeling to navigate social settings with ease, making them excellent diplomats.

Possible Struggles: ENFJs hate conflict and try to be encouraging and withhold criticism as much as possible. This can cause negative situations to escalate as they put off dealing with them for too long. They may also be so focused on their personal relationships that they lose sight of a clear, objective, logical course of action. As EJ types, ENFJs can also be too hasty to make decisions and may need to remind themselves to take the time to reflect on decisions before moving forward. ENFJs are often helped by having an ISTX or INTX advisor on their team. These types (although very different from each other) can help them to take the time see alternate viewpoints and logical ways to deal with conflict situations.

Related: How ENFJs Handle Conflict
INFP - The Sincere Leader
INFPs are passionate, caring, and empathetic leaders. They often take up leadership positions that allow them to fight for a humanitarian cause they believe in. They are very innovative in their plans, and open-minded to hear many different viewpoints. They have excellent written communication skills and are skilled at conveying a viewpoint in a moving and compassionate manner. They are excellent listeners, encouraging leaders, and passionate in their pursuits. More than anything, the INFP leader longs to improve the world for people. When they make a decision, they will first consider how that decision will align with their values and morals. Afterwards, they will consider how that decision will affect the people involved.

Possible Struggles: INFPs are very accepting people who like to create an encouraging atmosphere for their team. They may struggle with dishing out criticism or dealing with conflict. Unless someone has violated one of their personal values, they may refrain from giving correction. They may also struggle with accepting criticism from their team. Leaders inevitably get criticism at some point from their teammates, and this can also be a struggle for INFPs who take criticism very personally. INFPs find a lot of deadlines and huge to-do lists overwhelming, and they may find themselves feeling trapped if they are having to rush to get everything done. INFPs can be helped by having advisors with a thinking or judging preference. The thinking types can help them to stay objective, and the judging types can help them to prioritize and manage deadlines.

Related: 10 Surprising Truths About INFPs
ENFP - The Inspirational Leader
ENFPs lead with imagination, vision, and passion. They are resourceful individuals who find many innovative ways to make a difference in the world. They tend to have frequent brainstorming sessions with their team and enjoy giving everyone a chance to speak their mind. They are encouraging and uplifting, inspiring others with all their ideas and all the possibilities they see around them. ENFPs are not micro-managers and they enjoy giving their team the freedom to complete tasks in their own creative ways. They don't mind sharing leadership and they are very open to a plethora of ideas and viewpoints. When making decisions, ENFPs focus first on the potential possibilities of each decision, then they think about how that decision will impact the people involved.

Possible Struggles: ENFPs may struggle with prioritizing their many ideas. Some ENFPs try to give each of their ideas and ambitions equal priority and wind up overworking themselves or their team. ENFPs can also struggle with finishing projects. They may feel pulled to so many new ideas and projects, that they lose interest in the projects they've already started and leave them unfinished. ENFPs may struggle with keeping track of the details of all their tasks. They may get so focused on their vision that they lose track of important facts and nuances that need attending to. Many ENFPs find that having an SJ advisor or partner helps them to prioritize, keep track of details, and follow through on important tasks.

What Do You Think? Do you have any experience or thoughts you'd like to add? Let me know in the comments!
Other posts you might enjoy! How to Communicate Effectively with Any Myers-Briggs® Personality Type Discover Your Superpower - Based on Your Myers-Briggs® Personality Type The Board Game You Will Dominate - Based on Your Myers-Briggs® Personality Type How Each Myers-Briggs® Type Reacts to Stress (and How to Help!)

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The Leadership Styles of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type - Psychology Junkie

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When we think of leadership skills and personality type, we often think of the more "domineering" types. ENTJs and ESTJs come to mind, at least for me, right away. But each personality has a unique way of leading that is all their own.

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The Ron Clark Academy is a nonprofit middle school & educator professional development facility that equips teachers with best practices that transform student learning experiences and promote academic and social success.

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From Kim Bearden, cofounder of Ron Clark Academy and author of the bestselling book Crash Course: The Life Lessons My Students Taught Me comes a powerful guide for improving communication and building better relationships.

Whether you are a teacher, administrator, parent, or professional, chances are, you struggle at times to find the right words. Talk to Me gives you those words. In this instructional and inspirational handbook, you'll learn how to choose words that inspire, encourage, and move people to action. Kim Bearden's honest reflections and six effective communication principles will empower you to . . .

develop rapport

gain respect

support others

engage listeners

develop insight

increase productivity

In a world desperate for kindness and understanding, Talk to Me equips you to use your words to show others that you care.

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From Kim Bearden, cofounder of Ron Clark Academy and author of the bestselling book Crash Course: The Life Lessons My Students Taught Me comes a powerful guide for improving communication and building better relationships. Whether you are a teacher, administrator, parent, or professional, chances are, you struggle at times to find the right words.

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Relational leadership is not new. In fact, if leadership is anything, it is about relationships. So why then do leaders, especially those at the top levels of their schools and school districts, struggle with this concept? Perhaps it's because relational leadership is just too basic, too simple.

Relational leadership involves being attuned to and in touch with the intricate web of inter- and intra-relationships that influence an organization. As Etienne Wenger points out in her book Communities of Practice, it is about the meaning and identity that are created when people work together.

Regardless of the rules, structures or roles and irrespective of tasks, strategic plans, political alliances, programs, contracts, lawsuits, etc., relational leadership is about people and their perceptions (which, in essence, are their realities) of how they are being treated.
Lacking Specificity
Most leaders claim to be effective in the area of relational leadership. Yet when asked to produce data to substantiate their personal assessments, many would be hard pressed to find staff, colleagues and even some bosses who would be comfortable in giving feedback that contradicts the leader's personal perception of his or her strengths in this area. The reason is that the higher up in the organization one moves, the less likely the individual is to receive honest and specific feedback about their relational leadership skills, according to Paul Kaplan, Wilfred Drath and Joan Kofodimor, co-authors of High Hurdles: The Challenge of Executive Self-Development.

Staff resist giving honest feedback for various reasons. Some fear retribution; others are reluctant because of their own insecurities in dealing with confrontation. Consequently, leaders continue to believe and behave as if they are adept at relational leadership when unbeknownst to them they may be alienating some of the very people who are critical to their success. This is why so many executives feel blind-sided by poor performance ratings, nonrenewal of contracts or worse, termination where the primary reason-whether articulated, implied or unstated-is about a deficit in relational leadership.

As a solution, more and more educational leaders, like their business counterparts, are turning to 360-degree feedback as a vehicle for getting data about their strengths and developmental needs in the area of relational leadership. Information from peers, direct reports, superiors and others are compared to personal perceptions, which gives leaders an authentic read on their relational assets and liabilities.

This process, coupled with executive coaching and goal setting, is a powerful strategy for leaders who are committed to becoming more skilled in the relational arena.

In this age of accountability, many leaders are hired for their ability to produce results. Sometimes leaders assume this means they are expected to value and promote things, ideas and projects more than the people who are responsible for implementing and sustaining these.

For instance, there's the individual leader who smugly argues that he or she is "high task, low relationship." Again, the simple lesson is that "high task" without "high relationship" may produce decisively quick yet temporary results. The low relationship variable may well contribute to sabotage (subtle as well as overt), poor morale, organization ineffectiveness and/or unnecessary turnover in staff.
Six Competencies
Numerous competencies are important in the area of relational leadership. The following represent a small subset of factors developed by the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro, N.C., that contribute to success for leaders and managers:

* Leading employees: Demonstrates skill in effectively delegating to staff, providing a broad range of employee challenges and opportunities, acting with fairness toward direct reports and hiring talented people for the team.

* Interpersonal savvy: Demonstrates skill in building and mending relationships, evidences compassion and sensitivity, is able to put people at ease and understands and respects cultural, religious, gender, socioeconomic and racial differences.

* Work team orientation: Demonstrates effective listening skills and communication (oral and written) through involving others, building consensus and influencing others in decision making.

* Conflict management: Demonstrates skill in using good timing and common sense in getting things done without creating unnecessary adversarial relationships, recognizing that every decision has conflicting interests and constituencies.

* Managing change in others: Demonstrates an effective use of strategies in facilitating organizational change initiatives by considering other people's concerns, involving key people in the design and implementation of change and adjusting management style to changing situations.

* Effectively confronting problem employees: Demonstrates decisive and skillful acts, handled with fairness, when dealing with problem employees, including those who are loyal but incompetent or ineffective.
Failed Relations
Just as some relational leadership competencies are associated with success, specific factors not only contribute to poor relationships in and out of the workplace but often lead to stalled careers.

Leaders who are arrogant, dictatorial in their approach, emotionally volatile and adopt a bullying style under stress often leave a trail of bruised people. By resisting input from others, ordering people around and making staff feel stupid and unintelligent, leaders set themselves and their organizations up for failure.

While it is imperative for leaders to develop skill in the different areas, one must be equally aware that an overdependence on a strength can become a weakness and contribute to poor relational leadership. For example, while leaders may relate well with all kinds of people, they may be spending so much time building networks and glad-handing that they are not taken seriously as credible, take-charge leaders.

Consider the following: Superintendent K, a school leader on the fast track, is in the second year of her third superintendency. During her annual performance review, members of her governing board reveal their concerns about her relationships. Responding to her request for specifics, the board president remarks that while the superintendent does not shy away from conflict and is good at hammering out tough agreements, she often drives for solutions before others are ready, leaving in her wake those who could be potential allies.

Citing a recent case involving redistricting, the board president comments about the superintendent's success in getting a plan approved at the expense of community and staff sentiment that could prove to be essential in an upcoming special election.
Appropriate Timing
In this composite of a couple of real-life examples, the very strengths that led this high-potential school administrator to upward mobility and early promotion have become a weakness. While she has experienced technical success, an overreliance has in essence turned the skill into a relational problem-a lack of recognition about the importance of interdependence.

Relational leadership is more than being described as a "people person." Likewise, relational leadership is not about being "touchy feely" or routinely having everyone join hands to sing rounds of "Kumbaya."

The key is having a range of interpersonal skills and approaches and knowing when to use what with whom. The outcome, as described by Michael Lombardo and Robert Eichinger in their book, For Your Improvement: A Development and Coaching Guide, is "the ease of transaction where you get what you need without damaging other parties unnecessarily and leave them wanting to work with you again."

Simply put, relational leadership is about valuing one's greatest organizational asset-people.

Karen Dyer is manager of the education sector at the Center for Creative Leadership, P.O. Box 26300, Greensboro, N.C. 27438. E-mail: dyerk@leaders.ccl.org

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AASA | American Association of School Administrators

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Relational leadership is not new. In fact, if leadership is anything, it is about relationships. So why then do leaders, especially those at the top levels of their schools and school districts, struggle with this concept? Perhaps it's because relational leadership is just too basic, too simple.

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While servant leadership is a timeless concept, the phrase "servant leadership" was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in The Servant as Leader, an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, Greenleaf said:

"The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions...The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.

"The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people's highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?"

A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the "top of the pyramid," servant leadership is different. The servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

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What is Servant Leadership? - Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership

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While servant leadership is a timeless concept, the phrase "servant leadership" was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in The Servant as Leader, an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, Greenleaf said: "The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first.

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Exercises to develop your own emotional intelligence and lead others.

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Online June 2018 | Volume 75
Fighting Educator Burnout Pages 46-51

Janet Patti, Allison Holzer, Robin S. Stern, James Floman and Marc A. Brackett

For school leaders, stress is inevitable. The day-to-day grind of leading is emotionally demanding, and new challenges and higher accountability create a fever pitch of emotion that can churn inside even the strongest of leaders.

However, although stress is expected for education leaders, burnout can be optional. Moderate amounts of healthy stress triggered by efforts to achieve meaningful goals (called eustress in the research literature) can increase personal accomplishment and workplace engagement and even improve job performance (McGonigal, 2016).

The problem arises when stress becomes so frequent and so overwhelming that it leaves educators physically and emotionally depleted and they no longer feel a sense of passion and personal accomplishment (Maslach, Schaufeli, & Leiter, 2001; Le Fevre, Matheny, & Kolt, 2003). When this happens, stress becomes distress, and one runs the risk of burning out.

The impact of constant stressors-such as the social-emotional demands of work or a steady stream of crises that challenge one's sense of perspective-can lead to the chronic depletion of mental and physical resources or "emotional exhaustion" (Grissom & Andersen, 2012; Maslach et al., 2001). But this level of distress can be effectively navigated, or even avoided. Research suggests that principals with higher levels of self-efficacy tend to display higher levels of work engagement and job satisfaction, along with lower levels of burnout (Federici & Skaalvik, 2012). Self-efficacy is a key psychological capacity for inoculation against the high pressures of educational leadership.

Getting Emotional

To understand how a leader's sense of personal accomplishment and self-efficacy can fade or grow, we have to understand the power of emotions. A recent study found that school leaders who reported greater levels of emotional exhaustion were more likely to experience a range of negative emotions, such as anxiety or anger, and were less likely to experience various positive emotions, such as hope or joy (Brackett, Floman, & Bradley, 2018). Also, emotionally exhausted leaders were less satisfied with their jobs and were more likely to want to quit the profession or retire.

Not only does burnout take a toll on a leader's work, but it also has a negative impact on his or her mental and physical health. The same study found that leaders who scored higher on emotional exhaustion reported exercising less frequently, missing more work days due to stress and mental health problems, and experiencing greater sleep troubles.
Researchers and educators from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and Star Factor Coaching have been helping superintendents in the New York City school district strengthen their emotional intelligence by showing that emotions matter. Photos courtesy of Janet Patti Madeline Chaffee and Kathryn Lee teach emotional intelligence training in Brooklyn, New York.
Flexing Our Emotional Intelligence Muscles

Emotional exhaustion-a by-product of chronic unhealthy stress-is not inevitable for school leaders. A major cause of distress is when leaders mismanage emotionally charged situations. This suggests that, by developing the skills of emotional intelligence (EI) (Salovey & Mayer, 1990), school leaders can prevent much workplace stress.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions in one's self and in others, to understand the causes and effects of emotions, and to manage emotions effectively to suit a goal or situation (Mayer, Caruso, & Salovey, 2016). Leaders with developed EI possess greater self-awareness: Among other actions, they pause multiple times throughout the school day to reflect on their emotions and their meaning. Critically, emotionally intelligent leaders learn to recognize the behaviors, triggers, and events that lead to unhealthy stress.

Since 2015, the New York City school district has spearheaded an unprecedented initiative to infuse EI training throughout the school system. Partnering with our organizations- Star Factor Coaching and the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence -NYC has developed a program that includes intensive professional development training and coaching in emotional intelligence for district and school leaders.

Dolores Esposito served 11 years as a superintendent before taking on her current role as an executive superintendent of leadership at the New York City Department of Education. She says the emotional intelligence training she has received helps her thrive rather than burn out in psychologically demanding positions. The skills she has learned not only help her to manage her own emotions, but they also empower her to recognize and understand others' feelings, especially those who have competing needs and require personalized support to move toward positive action. Further, Esposito now recognizes authentic listening as an essential skill that facilitates her leadership efforts and supports the needs of all school stakeholders.

"Without emotional intelligence strategies and skills, it would have been much more difficult to effectively lead, inspire, and manage the complexity of the 21st century superintendent's role," Esposito says.

A New Professional Development

As part of the EI development program, all New York City school leaders attend training sessions that are based on RULER, a tool developed by researchers at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence that provides an evidence-based approach to social-emotional learning. It teaches five key skills: recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions (see " Focus Areas for Developing Emotional Intelligence"). From the outset, the educators learn that emotions matter in schools, especially for learning, decision making, relationships, health, and everyday performance. Using role plays, reflection, and feedback, they practice applying these skills in positive communication, conflict management, empathy, and systems thinking.

To reinforce and individualize leaders' learning, the district partners with leadership coaches from our two organizations. The coaches work with individual leaders for five months to explore emotional challenges and successes. Coaches ask questions, listen, and provide resources on how leaders can develop specific skills, such as emotional regulation. These skills directly help to build resilience and support healthy interpersonal problem solving and conflict resolution.

The coaching process begins with leaders reflecting on their personal and professional vision and values and setting personal and professional goals for their own development. Then, throughout the process, the leaders get intensive and thorough feedback on their leadership behaviors. The feedback helps them identify the gap between the leader they are and the leader they hope to become. Blind spots and challenge areas are identified and become the focus of leadership development goals. Examples of development goals include: listening more (and solving problems without others' input less), showing empathy to others in need, being more present and focused, empowering rather than micromanaging others, managing frustration or disappointment more effectively, and being more in tune with the emotions of those around them (rather than making assumptions). As leaders make progress toward their goals, they generally become more hopeful and confident about their leadership and what is possible for their school community.

As school leaders build their leadership self-efficacy, they model their emotional intelligence skills. These leaders actively and regularly articulate their vision to the larger school community. For example, one superintendent who has undergone coaching now begins every professional development meeting with stories about her progress developing greater self-awareness and self-management. She speaks about how she now uses breathing exercises and pauses before reacting when she feels angry. This is in comparison to how she used to blurt out whatever she was thinking or feeling, sometimes to the detriment of others. Her transparency about her leadership growth inspires others to grow themselves, generating a positive contagion of personal development throughout her district.

A Systemwide, Cascading Impact

The focus on emotionally intelligent leadership in NYC public schools has fostered a systemwide effort to build a culture anchored in emotional intelligence. The leaders' training has helped to transform multiple school communities into collaborative learning environments with a shared vision, common values, and clear norms of how to develop together. With enhanced EI skills, healthy relationships thrive and supportive social networks accelerate student success. Through the ripple effects of implementing EI training in leaders, positive communication and healthy social-emotional development can spread to teachers and to students (Jennings & Greenberg, 2009).

In these school communities, self-awareness and self-management skills have become the pillars of pedagogy and school culture. Educators become proactive with their emotions, which helps them to avert the array of workplace stressors that trigger burnout and turnover. This can also lead to more conscious interactions, generative relationships, and a willingness to support one another through challenging moments. In schools with this developmental focus, conflict gets put on the table instead of under it, and adults work through the hard issues instead of avoiding them. Assumptions are challenged, and differences are explored to find common ground. In schools where EI is integrated throughout, adults are equipped to work through all of the hard spots.

Where to Start

Not every district may be ready to implement a systemwide approach to promoting emotional intelligence. However, all education leaders can take steps today to focus on the five key ingredients of EI skill building. In the absence of a more formalized investment in EI leadership or professional development, every school district or school leader can:

Create an expectation that emotions matter. Emotions are a part of everyone, and all leaders can get better at how we handle stressors.

Foster a culture that not only includes traditional instructional learning coaching, but also supports leaders and teachers socially andemotionally.

Incorporate self-reflection practices into every professional development opportunity. Reflection exercises should explore ways to examine our thinking about our emotions and our emotional skill levels.

Prioritize time in meetings to discuss school challenges and ideas with community members and receive feedback about how teachers and leaders handled difficult situations.

Revisit community norms regularly to check in on how everyone is feeling about the school's climate.

Emphasize self-care practices, such as meditation, yoga classes, exercise, and retreats. Allow teachers to include a self-care commitment when they set their performance goals.

Encourage individuals to take short physical or mental breaks every 45-60 minutes, to focus on work that makes them feel capable and productive, and to use their time off for enjoyable activities.

When given time and space for EI development, education leaders are more likely to see moderate levels of stress as a pathway toward self-efficacy and personal accomplishment. With self-awareness to detect the onset of unhealthy stress and helpful strategies to manage stress, leaders are more likely to reach out for emotional and community support, avoid burnout, reconnect with their purpose, and more passionately and skillfully cultivate flourishing schools.

References

Brackett, M. A., Floman, J. L., & Bradley, C. (2018). Emotion revolution for education leaders (survey). Unpublished data. Yale University.

Federici, R., & Skaalvik, E. (2012). Principal self-efficacy: Relations with burnout, job satisfaction, and motivation to quit. Social Psychology Education, 15(3), 295-320.

Grissom, J. A., & Andersen, S. (2012). Why superintendents turn over. American Educational Research Journal, 49(6), 1146-1180.

Jennings, P. A., & Greenberg, M. T. (2009). The prosocial classroom: Teacher social and emotional competence in relation to student and classroom outcomes. Review of Educational Research, 79(1), 491-525.

Le Fevre, M., Matheny, J., & Kolt, G. S. (2003). Eustress, distress, and interpretation in occupational stress. Journal of Managerial Psychology, 18(7), 726-744.

Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W. B., & Leiter, M. P. (2001). Job burnout. American Review of Psychology, 52, 397-422.

Mayer, J. D., Caruso, D. R., & Salovey, P. (2016). The ability model of emotional intelligence: Principles and updates. Emotion Review, 8(4), 290-300.

McGonigal, K. (2016). The upside of stress. New York: Avery.

Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 9(3), 185-211.

Janet Patti is a professor in educational leadership at Hunter College and cofounder of Star Factor Coaching, a consulting firm that partners with districts and schools to build social and emotional capacities in educators. Allison Holzer is the co-founder of the talent-strategy firm InspireCorps and the principal design, research, and strategy officer for Star Factor Coaching. Robin S. Stern is the associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence at Yale University and co-founder of Star Factor Coaching. James Floman is a postdoctoral associate at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence at Yale University. Marc A. Brackett is a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

KEYWORDS

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Online June 2018 | Volume 75 Fighting Educator Burnout Pages 46-51 Janet Patti, Allison Holzer, Robin S. Stern, James Floman and Marc A. Brackett For school leaders, stress is inevitable. The day-to-day grind of leading is emotionally demanding, and new challenges and higher accountability create a fever pitch of emotion that can churn inside even the strongest of leaders.

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As counselors and educators we are leading teens to develop their emotional intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence is highly important in a teen's development.

There is considerable evidence pointing to its positive role in helping students deal with stress, develop relationships, and handle the transitions facing them.

Whether you're a teacher, parent, or a student yourself, you've probably become well aware of how it's been popping up everywhere recently, in lessons, curricula, and even exams.

Here, we'll look at the fascinating research on Emotional Intelligence for teens and students-why it matters, and how to develop it. Then we'll dive into an in-depth look at some different ways that teachers and teens alike can take this knowledge and use it in practice.

In that vein, we'll be outlining some lesson plans and have put together a few Powerpoints that will hopefully make teaching EI easy. Because yes, Emotional Intelligence can 100% be taught and learned.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our 3 Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free. These science-based exercises will not only enhance your ability to understand and work with your emotions but will also give you the tools to foster the emotional intelligence of your clients, students, or employees.

Is Emotional Intelligence Important for Teens?

In a handy little nutshell-yes. Just as it's important for adults, the concepts of social and emotional functioning play a key role in adolescents and teenagers. Emotional Intelligence in teens covers their ability to use emotions effectively and productively in an adaptive way (Sekhri, 2017).

In fact, the concept has become of incredible interest not only pedagogically, but to everyone who's realized that today's teens are going to make up tomorrow's workforce.

Let's look at how Emotional Intelligence can play a role in students' lives.

What Do We Know about EI and Academic Achievement?

EI helps us manage negative emotions and our behaviors in response to them. So, does it impact on how teens and students perform academically?

Some research does, in fact, suggest a relationship between Emotional Intelligence and academic achievement (Fallahzadeh, 2011). In one study of Education students at university, Self-Emotion Appraisal and Understanding of Emotion were revealed to have positive significant linkages with their academic performance on assessments (Mohzan et al., 2013).

Later studies support this finding, with Sanchez-Ruiz and colleagues (2014) finding that EI predicted academic performance better than established personality traits and cognitive ability for Cyprus university students.

These are findings that support the premises of Bar-On, developed of the EQ-i assessment, who has argued that " academic performance appears to be facilitated by being able to set personal goals as well as to be sufficiently optimistic and self-motivated to accomplish them " (Bar-On, 2005, p.14-15).

But what about teens specifically? Interestingly, there is also empirical evidence to suggest that teens with EI are better able to make the transition from high school to higher education (Parker et al., 2005).

Results of a study of 1,426 first-year students found significantly higher interpersonal, stress management, and adaptability skills among students who were academically successful in entering university. The authors' conclusion was that EI has a large impact on students' ability to deal with challenges such as developing new relationships and learning to live more independently, amongst other factors.

It is worth noting that while the studies above do provide evidence for some benefits of EI skills for students, they don't necessarily indicate an academic consensus. As with most areas in the field, much room for future research remains.

Emotional Intelligence: Implications for Students

So interpersonal and emotional management skills may play a pivotal part in helping students better handle the challenging aspects of academic life. But how can we help them develop these skills?

Fortunately for us, it's not as hard as it may sound. There are several ways that teachers can support students in developing these skills, but we will outline two main ones.

Active Listening

Psychologist Bradley Busch, author of The Science of Learning recommends that teachers practice Active Listening.

Based on the argument that students' mindsets, attitudes, and motivations are key to persistence and effort, Busch suggests actively listening to them is critical (Busch & Oakley, 2017). It's a concept encouraged by other practitioners, such as EI Coach Anne Loehr, who recommends facilitating two-way, truly interactive dialogue with students by:

focusing on both yourself and the student during dialogue;

being aware of your non-verbal cues;

validating that you have listened through appropriate responses; and

maintaining awareness of the environment.

This approach can be particularly relevant when a teacher may want to deliver feedback and is very much in line with empirical research supporting the link between active listening and motivation (Stone et al., 2009).

Self Awareness Exercises

If you've read any of our other articles on Emotional Intelligence, you'll already know that there's ample scientific evidence of anxiety being triggered by negative self-talk (Kross et al., 2014).

Because self-awareness involves becoming attuned to our internal dialogue, exercises to help build self-awareness can be a first step toward challenging these irrational processes (Ciarrochi et al., 2002). Helping students develop self-awareness, therefore, is one means of helping them deal with challenges like exam stress or test anxiety.

Returning to Busch's recommendations, this could involve getting students to k eep a d iary. It's one way to help improve their meta-cognition, by inviting them to notice patterns or trends in their thoughts and behavior (Tanner, 2012).

Emotional Intelligence in the Curriculum

Stepping back for a moment, it's easy to see that Emotional Intelligence for teens and students has become an incredibly popular topic. And one critical premise of recent years is the idea that EI should be infused into all areas of the curriculum, not dealt with in isolation (de Klerk & Le Roux, 2007).

This means that recent decades have seen a lot more focus on how we can integrate Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) initiatives into curricula.

So, while we couldn't possibly list all the different ways that schools have gone about revamping their curricula, one well-known example comes from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

If you haven't already heard of RULER, it's the name given to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence's SEL approach. The aim of the program is to help schools blend EI principles into their curricula. Through teacher training, coaching support, and evidence-based resources, RULER is designed to inform classroom teaching all the way from preschool up to the high school level.

It's one example of how schools and pedagogy are already very much on the bandwagon with the benefits of EI for teens and students. If you're interested in learning more about the tools and skills that the approach imparts, you can visit their website.

3 Emotional Intelligence Lesson Plans

Ready to start designing your own lesson plans? Here are three examples that you can use. We've tried to link them to the implications above, as well as cover some of the social skills that are so central to SEL.

1. Self Talk: How Thoughts Affect Feelings and Behavior

This lesson plan comes from the book Boost Emotional Intelligence in Students by Drs Elias and Tobias. It aims to assist students in Grades 5-9 to come to terms with the impact that our thoughts can have on our feelings and behavior. It does so by helping teens develop an awareness of when thoughts and self-talk may be having a negative or irrational influence on the way they act.

Part 1: The teacher introduces the concept of self-talk. Discuss the idea that we often talk to ourselves about the way we feel, and that these internal dialogues often play a part in how we behave.

Part 2: The Sharing Circle itself invites students to put up their hands if they sometimes talk to themselves.

Even if there are no volunteers, emphasize the fact that we do all have internal dialogue, despite not always being able to recognize it as such. Ask the students to think about whether their self-talk is kind (nice, positive) or critical (negative) and invite them to give some examples of what their self-talk might sound like when they are facing a tough situation.

Here an ice-breaker might help, if you describe a personal example, such as (Elias & Tobias, 2018):

" This is going to work out well for me," and " This is not going to go well." or
" This is fun," and " I hate this."

Part 3: The third part is the skill introduction, during which the teacher will explain that self-talk is the way that we say things to ourselves mentally, and can often be about who we are or what we are capable of.

Describe that self-talk can have a strong impact on how we feel and behave and that this can vary based on whether our self-talk is negative or positive. Where we are able to turn negative self-talk positive, we can start to have control over how we feel. The authors even provide a text that you can adapt (Elias & Tobias, 2018, p.62):

"Your self-talk can tell you how you are feeling and how to react, even when you're not aware of it. Sometimes those thoughts can become negative and harmful, so it's important for us to be aware of them. That can be difficult because there are so many distractions in life, from homework to social media. We sometimes need quiet in our lives in order to tune in to our self-talk."

Here, you can bring the discussion back around to the examples that they put forward in the sharing circle, and illustrate how vicious negative thought cycles can occur. This example from the authors may help (Elias & Tobias, 2018):
bad thing happens → we feel bad → we use negative self-talk → we feel worse →we react based on our negative feelings → more bad things happen
Acknowledge the reality that negative things do occur and that feeling bad about them is natural. Emphasize that it's when we repeat these negative thoughts and allow them to take over, that situations can become worse.

This can be developed further through the use of examples and inviting students to give positive alternative self-talk alternatives. At the end of the lesson, emphasize again that the first step to challenging negative self-talk is to become aware of it.

Find the lesson in its full format from MiddleWeb.com.

2. Facilitating Mindfulness

Mindfulness, meditation, and Emotional Intelligence have been linked numerous times in academic literature (Charoensukmongkol, 2014; Wang & Kong, 2014; Testa & Sangganjanavanich, 2016).

If you can't see yourself motivating teenagers to meditate with you-let alone in a classroom setting-don't worry. This Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) lesson from Edutopia.org is more about helping teens and students facilitate mindfulness for the first time. As you work through it, you will hopefully be able to see that it has strong links with the concept of emotional perception (Mayer & Salovey, 2006).

Step 1: Invite the students to form a circle of chairs. Get them to put their feet flat on the ground and open the session by starting a discussion about the benefits of mindfulness. It may help if you begin by pointing out that mindfulness is not limited to meditation, but has other advantages. Aukeem Ballard, the creator of the exercise, mentions using the following: " It is not strictly meditation, but rather a practice in supporting your mind to take care of yourself."

Step 2: Encourage students to get on board with the activity, or offer them the chance to opt-out. If you are already familiar with your class of students, you may already have a good idea of how to get them to participate meaningfully.

Step 3: Share the personal benefits that mindfulness practice has had for you. You may wish to relate a personal anecdote where a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction exercise or similar approach has helped you overcome negative emotions.

Step 4: Outline and justify each step as you proceed. Start with asking your students to close their eyes and take three slow, deep breaths in and out. You can do this as a group and reflect together silently before you move on to asking them to reflect.

The subject of this reflection may vary. One idea is to start by asking your students to reflect on their current state. How they are feeling, and validate that feeling without any judgment. You may then want to move on to a specific theme that you have prepared for the rest of the lesson.

Step 5: Each step involves balancing the time that you spend giving instructions with your students' reflection time. Ballard uses this line as an example: " Now we are going to hold that focus for a little while. We just focus on where our air is entering and exiting our body. "

Step 6: Address only behaviors that are 'unsafe'. You may choose to respond to giggling or messing around simply by reinforcing the mindfulness; reiterate the goal of the current stage in a calm and gentle way.

Step 7: Reflect on the exercise and gather feedback. The idea behind this step is to make sense of the whole mindfulness exercise. Students may feel more comfortable talking to a classmate, while you can also let them know that direct feedback is welcome.

You can see the exercise in its entirety at Edutopia.org.

3. Social Communication Skill: Assertiveness

This exercise from NobelCoaching.com is designed to help an individual teen or student develop assertiveness. Nonetheless, it can be easily turned into a larger group activity if you ask students to work with a partner. This allows them to appropriately express how they feel while building their self-confidence and self-esteem.

If we return to the MSC Model for a second, this is related to the ability to manage relationships by attending to their socioemotional or interpersonal context.

Saying no to others can sometimes be difficult, but necessary. This exercise asks teens to start a dialogue that involves asking someone else for something-while expressing their feelings.

To start the exercise, create a 'list of social challenges', and construct a deck of cards from this. Each challenge should ideally reflect teen-relevant social situations and be tailored to their age. Each student will then pick out a card at random and carry out the challenge either over the next day or a few days-this will vary as per your schedules.

The exercise also lists some social challenge examples, including (NobelCoaching, 2018):

Contacting your favorite shop's customer service and requesting information about a product that you're interested in;

Finding out X new facts about a classmate; or

Giving someone an honest compliment.

As a critical last step, open a dialogue with the student about how they felt as a result of the challenge. Ask them to think of different ways they could have expressed themselves, made their request, or asked a question. What were others' reactions?

You can access the original excellent blog from Nobelcoaching.com, where it has been adapted in turn from the Speech Bubble SLP.

What Does EI Mean for Teachers?

Based on what we've already looked at in this article, it's clear that EI is becoming an increasingly important part of curricula.

It suggests a growing trend towards lessons and approaches that are either designed to teach or informed by Emotional Intelligence principles. If not both!

But what can teachers expect? Well, first, teachers now have lots more available resources than they did when the famous marshmallow experiment was brand new (Shoda et al., 1990). These resources and a strong understanding of what Emotional Intelligence involves mean that educators can now access and implement evidence-based strategies for:

Classroom management;

Feedback for collaborative classrooms (n.d.);

Managing bullying (EI.Yale.edu, 2019);

Supporting students with test anxiety;

Fostering creativity; and

Much more.

3 EI Powerpoints (PPTs) for Teachers

If you would like to start with an introduction to Emotional Intelligence and its concepts, we have put together some Powerpoints to help you.

1. Emotional Intelligence in a Nutshell: Swinburne University

This presentation is a nice primer for the EI concept, which outlines the different facets in an easily-understood way. The slides start with a simple definition, then outline examples of EI, and conclude with some activities to encourage involvement from your class.

Download the presentation from Swinburne University.

2. Emotional Intelligence Training Program for At-Risk Youth in High School

If you are looking for some ideas for your own presentation, this EI Powerpoint from the Canadian Counseling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) may give you some good ideas.

This presentation provides an overview of EI and invites students to reflect on their own feelings and behavior. EI training is broken down into three stages within this resource: Self Awareness, Emotion Management, and Relationship Building.

Access the presentation by the CCPA's Shelley Skelton.

3. Challenging Negative Thoughts: University of New Hampshire

This is a template on Thought Replacement Strategies from the University of New Hampshire. You can use this for inspiration if you are thinking about putting together a presentation that will allow you to work through exercises with your class.

The idea behind this presentation is that we can learn (and teach) methods for challenging negative thoughts, as well as self-talk to develop greater EI. It introduces the idea of identifying and acknowledging cognitive patterns in order to replace them with more useful ones.

Download the PPT from its source.

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Taught to Adults?

Emotional Intelligence can be taught to both adults and teens. EI is very often a critical part of many leadership development initiatives, and EI benefits in the workplace are very widely acknowledged (Ovans, 2015).

In fact, we've already put together some resources to help you explore this topic in more depth. If you're interested in finding out how EI is developed, and how you can get started, here is a good place to start!

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned?

Absolutely, Emotional Intelligence is as easy to learn as it is to teach. There are myriad ways to develop your Emotional Intelligence Skills, both at work and in daily life. and later in this article, we'll introduce some EI games that aim to do just that.

Just like other skills, though, there's no magic bullet for learning Emotional Intelligence skills. You can start by trying out different approaches, and once you've found something that works for you-practice is the key.

3 EI Questionnaires For Students (PDF included)

1. The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment

The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessmen t is provided by the San Diego City College MESA (Mathematics and Engineering Science Achievement) Program.

Based on an EI Model developed by neuroscientist, and educator Paul Mohapel, it's a forty-item self-report questionnaire that assesses four key areas. These are Emotional Awareness, Emotional Management, Social Emotional Awareness, and Relationship Management. Amongst his other noteworthy credentials, Paul Mohapel is also a certified facilitator in the Bar-On Emotional Quotient Inventory.

For each domain, students can rate their own strengths for different statements on a 0-4 Likert scale, with 0 being 'Never', and 4 being 'Always'. At the end of the emotional intelligence questionnaire, a total score for each domain allows the test-taker to assess their strengths and identify potential areas for improvement. Students are also able to reflect on their Emotional Intelligence strengths in practice through a few free-form questions underneath.

Here are some example sentences that students use to assess each domain:

1. Emotional Awareness

My feelings are clear to me at any given moment;
I am able to stand apart from my thoughts and feelings and example them; and
Even when I'm upset, I'm aware of what's happening to me.

2. Emotional Management

I can accept critical comments from others without becoming angry;
I control urges to overindulge in things that could damage my well being; and
I maintain my composure, even during stressful times.

3. Social-Emotional Awareness

I usually know when to speak and when to be silent;
I am able to be supportive when giving bad news to others; and
I care what happens to other people.

4. Relationship Management

I am able to show affection;
I find it easy to share my deep feelings with others; and
I am able to talk someone down even if they are very upset.

You can download an adapted version of the assessment here.

2. Global Emotional Intelligence Test: GlobaLeadership Foundation

This 40-item questionnaire from the GlobaLeadership Foundation is based on Goleman's (2002) Emotional Intelligence Competency Model-the 4-factor model. It's super-simple to fill out, with only two response choices for each question. And like other EI tests, participants are encouraged to give their initial reaction rather than think too hard about how to answer.

Some example emotional intelligence questions and answers include (GlobaLeadershipFoundation.com, 2018):

In total, the average time needed to complete the test is about ten minutes.

Take the GlobaLeadership Foundation Emotional Intelligence free test.

3. Test Your Emotional Intelligence: Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley)

As you may know from some of our other articles, Perceiving Emotions is one of the four EI components proposed by Mayer and Salovey in their original model (2006). This was later developed into the Mayer, Salovey & Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test ( MSCEIT) (MHS.com, 2018a).

This quiz by the Greater Good Science Center ( GGSC) is about interpreting nonverbal cues, so to take the test, you simply read others' emotions from photos of faces. Interestingly, it even covers the actual muscles that get to work when we're expressing sadness, happiness, disgust, flirtatiousness, and more.

Take the test here.

It should be noted that while these may draw on evidence-based measures, they aren't intended as formal assessments. They can, however, offer some insight into the general question types commonly used in professional instruments.

5 Emotional Intelligence Games

Just like the EI literature (and the questionnaires above), Emotional Intelligence games can be found based on various EI frameworks. That is, some center on developing the 5 EI components popularized by Daniel Goleman, some on the 4-component MSC model, and some may take a more general approach.

First up, two group activities or games from the International Institute for Restorative Practices ( IIRP). The first one looks at Managing Relationships, and the second is designed as a Self Awareness activity.

1. Managing Relationships: Turning Complaints into Requests (IIRP)

This relationship management game is focused on communicating our issues to those around us. It centers on the way we choose to express ourselves, and how this impacts on our likelihood of reaching a successful resolution through relationship management.

For the activity, participants list some issues that currently are bothering them-there's no issue too big or small for this exercise. They then select one thing to discuss with the group, and everybody should have the opportunity to share their specific issue.

For example:

Person A's issue may be - " This room is a mess"; and
Person B's issue could be - " I'm still waiting for your report ".

The facilitator discusses how the ways in which we communicate with other people often influences their willingness to help us solve our problems. Rather, we focus on the actual need, whether it's for a tidy room or for someone to give us their report. Then instead of complaining, we make a request.

The main part of this exercise is going around the group and allowing participants to transform their issues from complaints into requests. For example:

Person A's complaint becomes - "Could you help me with tidying up this room?"; and
Person B's request would be - " Would you please be able to give me your report? "

2. Self Awareness: Emotions Faces (IIRP)

This game uses 'Emotions Faces', created by Adele Lynn, author of the book Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers. If you prefer, you can create your own chart for this game. In this activity, the therapist or facilitator will hand out colored sticker dots to participants, who place them on the chart to identify their feelings.

This then is repeated across several days in order to look at how our feelings change over the period.

While the game itself is simple enough, the idea is to guide and encourage participants in discussing how our emotions at a certain time can influence the way we perceive events and other people.

This discussion should also cover how our feelings and moods can be 'contagious' to those around us.

In this amazing PDF, you can find the Emotional Intelligence game amongst many others. You can also download the 'Emotions Faces' chart itself in the Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers ebook.

You can find more books on emotional intelligence here.

3. My Colored Hat

The My Colored Hat exercise is quite a popular game and one you may already have come across in our article on How to Improve Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace. In case you haven't yet bumped into it, this exercise is covered in depth in the blog post above, or you can find the original activity here.

In a nutshell, however, this goes as follows:

The facilitator, teacher, or therapist makes (or buys!) some colored hats in 4-6 different colors, one for each participant;

Assign a different emotion to each hat and tell everyone involved which stands for which;

Each player then chooses the colored hat that best represents their current mood and wears it, as everyone gathers in a circle.

The idea behind the game is then revealed; it draws on the theory behind cognitive restructuring. The premise is that we can differentiate between and manage our emotions according to their usefulness and appropriateness.

Those with a negative emotion-colored hat acknowledge the negative feeling, then set it to the side. Those with a positive emotion-colored hat should be encouraged to express that emotion and describe it with the others, allowing themselves to appreciate the feeling.

When everybody has had a turn, we return to the negative emotion hats and confront the feeling that it represents. Essentially, we find an adaptive way of dealing with it. The key goal is to explore ways in which the negative emotion can be replaced with a positive one.

4. Eye Contact/No Eye Contact

On her blog, Creative Arts Psychotherapist Jude Treder-Wolff shares this brilliant game from training and consulting providers Lifestage. This is an improvisation-based exercise that has its scientific base in several empirical studies supporting the importance of eye contact in social interactions and empathy (Wesselmann et al., 2012; Montague et al., 2013).

The dual goals of the game are for participants to experience the effect of eye contact in silent interpersonal interactions, and its effect on our emotional states and connections (Treder-Wolff, 2014).

Stage One: The facilitator begins by asking the group participants to imagine that they are in a public and open area-such as an airport or gallery. Armed with sticky notes, they then walk around the area for 1-2 minutes, during which time they make zero eye contact with others.

They make notes of any emotions they become aware of during the time and post the notes at a certain point on the wall. This note-taking and posting exercise is repeated after the next two stages.

Stage Two: Participants repeat the 1-2 minute exercise, this time seeking eye contact with others, but then looking away instantly once it is established.

Stage Three: Participants carry out the exercise again, this time searching out eye contact and pairing up with the first person to respond in kind. They walk alongside that partner and both avoid eye contact with all others.

Lastly, the group reforms a circle and everybody looks down at their shoes. The facilitator can count to three, on which everyone will look up and actively seek out eye contact with someone else. If they do so successfully, they high five.

The game raises several discussion questions as a key part of the activity, which can be guided by the notes. Some of these questions are (Treder-Wolff, 2014):

What feelings are evoked by each stage?
How does this apply to life in the real world, e.g. what is our emotional reaction to people who look away rather than make eye contact?
What might it mean for client/student contact to make solid eye contact?

Find the full exercise, and more, here.

5. EQ for Success

Those of you after a more competitive type of Emotional Intelligence game may like EQ for Success, a card game from Play Therapy Supply that's designed for ages 14 and up. That having been said, it's also possible to play this game as a cooperative version.

EQ for Success is based on Goleman's 5 factor model of EQ. Each player receives a card with a picture of a brain on it, and space for tokens to be placed on top. Participants then answer questions from five decks of cards, each of which stands for one of the five EQ components: Self Awareness, Emotions Management, Self-Motivation, Relationship Skills, and Empathy.

There's also another deck with a slightly more educational component, too. When any card is picked by a player, another participant asks that person an EQ question, and the first player has to give possible answers. By winning tokens with correct answers, they can fill up the Brain Card, and the first person to do so completely wins the game.

If that's too cut-throat for your liking, EQ for success can also be played cooperatively, where participants fill up two Brain Cards collaboratively.

You can buy EQ for Success at Play Therapy Supply.

A Take-Home Message

In this article, we've considered the role of EI for teens, with a special look at how it impacts their lives as students.

Due to there being so much practitioner and academic interest in the area of teen and student EI, we can definitely expect a lot more to come in the near future. Lesson plans, empirical research, and pedagogical initiatives like the Yale RULER approach have already paved a solid path forward for those of us interested in helping our teens develop. It's a promising area!

If you have already used any of the lesson plans or exercises that we've put together, we would love to hear about it. Please also feel free to share any experiences that you have had in teaching Emotional Intelligence in the comments below. Happy teaching!

For further reading:

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to download our 3 Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free.

If you wish to learn more, our Emotional Intelligence Masterclass© is a 6-module emotional intelligence training package for practitioners which contains all the materials you'll need to become an emotional intelligence expert, helping your clients harness their emotions and cultivate emotional connection in their lives.

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Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Teens and Students (Incl. PPTs)

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Emotional Intelligence is highly important in a teen's development. There is considerable evidence pointing to its positive role in helping students deal with stress, develop relationships, and handle the transitions facing them.