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What does it mean to be happy? "I think to be happy is to be free, and to enjoy life to its fullest. So when I say free, free of resentments and insecurities, and to be able to forgive."
How does one attain true happiness? "To be able to forgive and to not let fear hold you back from obtaining what you want or achieving your goals."
Can material things make you truly happy? "I dont think so, I think it can make you temporarily happy."
Why? "Because sometimes people will seek material things to fill the emptiness, but it only lasts so long."
What I get from this is that material things that you can grasp will never truly make you happy, or at least only temporarily. Happiness comes from achieving goals, feeling accomplished, and not being held back by your fears. It comes from pushing yourself to be a better person and to never be satisfied. One can always improve on themselves to be a better person, and ultimately make you happier in life itself.

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What is the Difference between Happiness and Pleasure?

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What is the Difference between Happiness and Pleasure?

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We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend our energy seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We hope that by doing this, we will feel happy. Yet deep, abiding happiness and joy elude so many people.

There is a huge difference between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is a momentary feeling that comes from something external -- a good meal, our stocks going up, making love and so on. Pleasure has to do with the positive experiences of our senses, and with good things happening. Pleasurable experiences can give us momentary feelings of happiness, but this happiness does not last long because it is dependent upon external events and experiences. We have to keep on having the good experiences -- more food, more drugs or alcohol, more money, more sex, more things -- in order to feel pleasure. As a result, many people become addicted to these external experiences, needing more and more to feel a short-lived feeling of happiness.

Thomas sought my counseling services because he "had everything" -- his own successful business, a lovely wife and children, a beautiful home and time to enjoy life. Yet he was not happy. While he had momentary feelings of pleasure while watching a ball game or socializing with his friends, he also felt anxious and depressed much of the time. In fact, the anxiety had become so bad that he was having almost constant stomach pain, which his doctor told him was from stress.

As we worked together, it became apparent that Thomas's main desire in life was to have control over people and events. He wanted others to do things his way and to believe the way he believed. He was frequently judgmental with his employees, wife, children and friends, believing that he was right and they were wrong and it was his job to straighten them out with his judgment and criticism. His energy would become hard and tough and he would be like a steamroller in his efforts to get his point across and get others to do things his way. When it worked and others gave in, Thomas felt a momentary pang of pleasure. But the pain in his stomach kept getting worse and worse, which is why he decided to consult with me.

Thomas also wanted control over his own feelings, and would often judge himself as harshly as he judged others in an effort to get himself to perform well and to feel okay. He especially judged himself harshly when he felt rejected by others, frequently telling himself that he was an inadequate jerk and a loser.

As we worked together, Thomas began to see that happiness is the result of choosing to be a kind, caring, compassionate and gentle person with himself and others - quite the opposite of the judgmental, controlling person he had chosen to be. Thomas learned that happiness is the natural result of being present in each moment with love and kindness toward himself and others, rather than with being attached to the outcome of things and trying to control the outcome regarding events and others' behavior. He discovered that he felt deep joy whenever he let go of control and chose caring instead. The anxiety in his stomach went away whenever his intention was to be a kind and caring person rather than a controlling one.

It is not easy to shift out of the deep devotion to control and become devoted to love and compassion toward oneself and others, and most people need much support to make this shift. Our ego wounded self has been practicing control since we were very little. Yet the moment our intent is to control, our heart closes and we feel alone and anxious inside. Our intent to seek safety and pleasure through controlling others, outcomes, and our own feelings leads to an inner feeling of abandonment and emptiness. We abandon ourselves when we are trying to control our feelings rather than be kind and compassionate with ourselves. Our anxiety and feelings of emptiness lead to more seeking outside ourselves to fill up with pleasurable experiences. The momentary pleasure leads to addictive behavior.

As we learn to shift our intent from controlling and not being controlled, to becoming loving to ourselves and others, the heart opens and joy is the result. Deep and abiding happiness and joy are the natural result of operating from the spiritual values of caring, compassion and kindness.
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."
Take our free Inner Bonding eCourse at http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome.
Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

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The Difference Between Happiness and Pleasure

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We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend our energy seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We hope that by doing this, we will feel happy. Yet deep, abiding happiness and joy elude so many people. There is a huge difference between happiness and pleasure.

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As talked about on the "Does money make people happy?" slide, it shows that to an extent people are happier with more money. But the book "The Great Gatsby" argues differently. In the book, Gatsby spends his time on materialistic things with his money and throwing large parties. But no sum of money will make Gatsby happy, the only thing he has his mind set on is Daisy. I think this applies in the real world too.

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Do Relationships Make People Happier or More Stressed?

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Do Relationships Make People Happier or More Stressed?

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Research says that relationships can improve physical health along with making you happier/less stress if done right. The relationship must be supportive and satisfying. A study done demonstrates that a relationship can reduce biological stress. In a public speaking situation, those with a close friend or family member present, showed less cardiovascular arousal and better recovery time. So all in all, a relationship, if done right, proves to make one less stressed and overall happier

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Satisfying relationships not only make us happy, they also influence our long-term health as much as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and not smoking. Many research studies have shown that satisfying relationships are associated with better health, greater happiness, and even a longer life. This effect is not limited to romantic relationships; close friendships and social connections with family and members of your community can also help your health.

Does relationship quality make a difference?

While the number of social ties makes a difference, quality also counts. In one study, midlife women who were more satisfied with their marriages had a lower risk for cardiovascular disease. Conversely, toxic relationships with family and friends can stress us out and damage our health. In studies of marital conflict, hostile interactions with a spouse are associated with signs of impaired immunity and increases in stress hormones. Other studies show that midlife women in unsatisfying marriages have higher blood pressure, higher cholesterol, and higher body mass indexes than those in satisfying marriages. They also have higher levels of depression, anxiety, and anger. The researchers noted that these physical and emotional states raise the risk of heart disease-and each can be exacerbated by stress.

Do partners motivate us to live healthier?

Being in a supportive relationship can also motivate us to live healthier. Studies show social support is related to eating more vegetables, exercising, and quitting smoking. Being around healthier people can be an incentive to take better care of our own health. Or perhaps we may enjoy exercising with friends or partners. Spouses may buy and cook healthy foods for us or we may be motivated to get fitter so as to be more attractive to our partners.

There is a difference between encouragement and being too controlling, however. One study compared partner support (aiding and reinforcing a partner's own efforts) with partner control behaviors (inducing change in one's partner). Results showed that supportive behaviors predicted better mental health, while control behaviors predicted worse mental health and less healthy behaviors. Trying to control others may make them angry and create resistance to change. Research shows that we are more likely to maintain healthy behaviors if we are motivated by intrinsic factors like wanting to be fitter, rather than extrinsic factors like placating a partner.

Does social support lessen your body's stress response?

Social support has also been shown to reduce the biological stress response. In studies in which people are subjected to social stress in the form of public speaking with evaluation, those who had a close friend or family member present showed less cardiovascular arousal and/or faster cardiac recovery from stress. Patting a pet can also lower your blood pressure. Social support (whether from humans or animals) may make us more resilient to stress by lessening the body's biological stress response. Findings from animal studies show that social support reduces the release of cortisol (the stress hormone) when faced with a stressor.

What about depression?

For people at risk for depression, supportive relationships can be a protective factor. In studies, better social support predicted less depression in people with cardiac disease and heart attack patients. Patients with more support are more likely to cope actively with their health issues-for example, by making lifestyle changes. Supportive relationships also help our mental health. This effect has been shown in populations including college students, unemployed spouses, and parents of medically ill children.

How do relationships impact your health?

How does social support impact our health? It seems there are biological, behavioral, and emotional pathways. Partners and friends or family can encourage us by listening, showing that they care, helping our self esteem, motivating us to be healthy, or distracting us from our stressors. On the other hand, criticism and ongoing unresolved conflict can make us feel more stressed and take energy away from managing our problems.
Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., is a practicing psychologist in Mill Valley, California, and former Professor of Psychology at the California School of Professional Psychology. She is an expert on stress, the brain, and mindfulness. She provides workshops, speaking engagements, and psychotherapy for individuals and couples. She regularly appears on radio shows and as an expert in national media. She also does long-distance coaching via the internet. Her new book, The Stress-Proof Brain is now available.

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Do Relationships Make Us Healthier and Happier?

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Satisfying relationships not only make us happy, they also influence our long-term health as much as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and not smoking. Many research studies have shown that satisfying relationships are associated with better health, greater happiness, and even a longer life.

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Before research: My friends, family, pets, and my hobbies all make me happy, but in different ways. My hobbies that I enjoy include working on engines, riding ohv, playing volleyball, clothing, and photography.
After research: I guess what im saying through these things that make me happy, is that it is not material things, it is more of things that make me feel satisfied in doing, like playing volleyball.

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Can you truly buy happiness?
Research shows that under a certain income level, it makes it more difficult to be happy, such as living in the cold or always being hungry. Studies also show that the more money one makes, to an extent, shows that people tend to be happier. This is more about rather than buying yourself happiness, being able to solve the problems in your life that are stressful or tend to make you unhappy.

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From a lecture series presented by Professor Mark Leary, Ph.D.

Does money make people happy? We don't have all the answers by any means, but we do know much more about happiness than ever. And the bottom line is that scientific research suggests that most of the things that people believe make them happy really won't-at least not in the long run. So, let's unravel the mystery of happiness.

Seriously, Can You Buy Happiness?

So what does make people happy? Many people think that they will be happier if they just had more money. What are the facts, here?

Well, research shows that it's certainly difficult to be truly happy if you live in poverty. If you're always hungry or cold or living in unsafe surroundings or always owe somebody money, happiness can be elusive. So, below a certain income level, poor people are in fact less happy and less satisfied with their lives than most of us.

Learn more: Solving Psychological Mysteries

But above the poverty level, things get complicated.

Researchers at Princeton University analyzed data from a sample of over 450,000 adults in the United States. These respondents reported their annual income, and they rated how much they experienced positive emotions on the previous day. Emotional quality was assessed by questions asking people to think about the previous day and to rate how much happiness and enjoyment they experienced, and how much they smiled and laughed.

The results showed that, up until an income of somewhere between $60,000 and $75,000-in 2010 dollars-more money was associated with feeling a little bit more happy. So a higher proportion of people who make, say, $70,000 tend to be happier than people who make, say, $40,000. The difference isn't large, but it is statistically significant.

Money "Fixes Problems"

The reason that money increases happiness up to a point seems to be that having a certain amount of money helps to fix certain problems in life that make people stressed out and unhappy. If my car breaks down, and I don't have enough money to fix it, that's stressful. If I have a health problem and not enough money, I have two sets of worries-my health and my money. If I get divorced and there's not enough money for legal costs and keeping up two houses, the financial issues make the breakup worse than it would otherwise be.

Learn more: Why Do We Have Emotions?

So, it's not so much that money makes people happy as that money can help to solve problems that would otherwise lower our happiness. So, having a certain amount of money helps take the sting out of our adversities.

But, here's the interesting thing: after people have somewhere between $60,000 and $75,000 a year, there's no relationship between income and happiness.

Let me say that again, once a person has about $75,000 a year, having more money is not associated with greater happiness! Not at all. The average millionaire is no happier than the average person who makes $75,000 a year.

Many people have trouble reconciling this finding with the fact that they know that they feel happy when they get a raise at work, even a small raise. Or they may even feel happy when they find a quarter on the sidewalk! But that's a very fleeting feeling.

The day you get your raise, you probably are happier; and maybe even the day after that. But how long does that glow last? Many people think that money will bring them lots of happiness for a long time, but it actually brings them only a little happiness for a short time.

Hello reader! You could be getting much more from this article by watching its accompanying video lecture on The Great Courses Plus! Click here for your free trial-the best professors in the world are waiting for you.

And, you can see that this is true if you think about your own earning history. People generally make more money as they get older. So, many of you who are working make more money today than you did, say, 10 years ago. Are you happier now on a daily basis because you make more money?

And, if more money makes people happy, then as a society, we ought to be much happier today than people were, say, 50 or 60 years ago. Even adjusting for inflation, the average person in the United States is much better off than they were in, say, 1940. In 1940, a third of all houses still didn't have running water and indoor toilets! But national polls show that people actually rated themselves happier in the 1940s than they do today.

I know that it seems like it, but having more money and big screen TVs and expensive cars don't make people happier. Of course, this is something philosophers have observed for hundreds of years. But now science is showing just how right they were.

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The Psychology of Happiness-Does Money Make People Happy

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From a lecture series presented by Professor Mark Leary, Ph.D. So what does make people happy? Many people think that they will be happier if they just had more money. What are the facts, here? Well, research shows that it's certainly difficult to be truly happy if you live in poverty.

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Dean O'tool talks about his kids, seeing them happy makes him happy. I think this can go for others as well that seeing something you love be happy, will make you feel the same way. Along with his kids, he talks about doing things that he can set goals to and achieve them which gives him a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, in turn, happy.