# data[].attributes.body
Attacks in cyberspace are global threat that can strike to anyone. Physical limitations do not block an attack, rather they can be a mere obstacle. Target can be a person, an organization or a government. Attacker needs a payload and way to provide that to the target. Transfer can be virtual or physical.

# data[].attributes.body
Risk perception citizens have can be measured by detailed questionnaire. Following Slovic [27], we distinguish between risk assessment and risk perception: ‘Whereas technologically sophisticated analysts employ risk assessment to evaluate hazards, the majority of citizens rely on intuitive judgments typically called risk perceptions.’ To assess risk perception we posed 16 questions that asked the experimental subjects in Study 2 (Hamas) to assess the risk posed by a cyberterror attack (1 ¼ no risk; 6 ¼ a very high risk). Responses loaded on four factors: bodily harm (risk of injury or loss of life); material loss (credit card and bank fraud, data theft, theft of confidential medical information); damage to critical infrastructures (transportation, refineries, water) and damage to state facilities (military, stock exchange, government offices) Alpha Cronbach 0.70, 0.91, 0.81 and 0.94, respectively.

# data[].attributes.body
A primary goal of conventional terrorism is to undermine civilians’ resilience by instilling a sense of fear and vulnerability that erodes confidence in the ability of the government and law enforcement agencies to protect citizens against future attacks [1]. What about cyberterrorism? Are the psychological ramifications of conventional and cyberterrorism identical? Does the threat of conventional or cyberterrorism affect confidence in government and support for forceful security policies in the same way? To address these questions, we advanced three multiple scenario-based empirical studies for testing what happens when the public experiences cyberterrorism that causes mass casualties and/or severe economic losses with the avowed goal of undermining the public’s morale and its confidence in economic and political institutions.

In my mind, introduction has a good general-to-specific structure. Paper contains technical details and needs lot of focus to read, so introduction has done a good work providing overall detail what is to be expected from this paper and has a good structure doing so.

# data[].attributes.body
The Company aims to solve one of its most significant problems and improve its revenue by creating an incentive system together with employees. One of the Company’s prominent problems is the poor engagement of employees. To achieve better engagement, the Company will create, together with the employees, an incentive system ensuring that the employees also benefit directly from the results achieved by the Company. This, of course, reduces the company’s profit if viewed in the short term, but in the long run, motivated and committed employees will help the company make even better revenue, so the costs of the incentive system can be seen as an investment in the future.

# data[].attributes.body
"Various prominent methods of data collection are historical archive analysis, participant observation, outside observation, interviews, questionnaires and content analysis. It is possible to use any of these methods in tandem as well. For example, a combination of interviews and questionnaires can be used to describe the use of cluster analysis in an unusual setting to classify a large sample of dyadic, highly interdependent, supply chain relationships based upon the quality of their interactions (Humphries et al., 2007). Similarly other combinations can also be used to collect data in different type of situations."

Topic sentence added:
"Different methods or combinations of several different methods can be used in the data collection process. Various prominent methods of data collection are historical archive analysis, participant observation, outside observation, interviews, questionnaires and content analysis. It is possible to use any of these methods in tandem as well. For example, a combination of interviews and questionnaires can be used to describe the use of cluster analysis in an unusual setting to classify a large sample of dyadic, highly interdependent, supply chain relationships based upon the quality of their interactions (Humphries et al., 2007). Similarly other combinations can also be used to collect data in different type of situations."

# data[].attributes.body
"According to the Flynn et al. (1990), “empirical” means “knowledge based on real world observations or experiment”. Thus, empirical research is used to describe field-based research, which uses data gathered from naturally occurring situations or experiments, rather than via laboratory or simulation studies. Flynn et al. (1990) clarified that any empirical research article can have one or more of the following empirical research designs namely, single case study, multiple case study, panel study, focus group and survey. We selected empirical research articles from the selected population of journals on the similar lines, with an exception of including those articles also which used action research design. Articles which used either of the aforementioned empirical research designs were considered as empirical research articles. The articles, which used hypothetical data for a case or a hypothetical case, were not considered as empirical research articles."

I chose this paragraph as a good example, because the first sentence of the paragraph effectively sums up what the word “empirical” means. The paragraph goes on to describe in more detail what empirical research means and how authors have chosen empirical research articles for their research.

# data[].attributes.body
As external environment effects positioning of the company, it is the internal factors and strategic capabilities that can differentiate company from its competitors.

Johnson et al define core competences as skills and abilities by which resources are organized in company’s functions and processes to achieve competitive advantage in a way that competitors can’t imitate or obtain. Resources itself don’t bring competitive advantage to a company but understanding and developing its unique resources and core competence, company can develop and find competitive advantage to distinguish from competitors. (Johnson et al. 2008, 94-97.)

# data[].attributes.body
Interaction with consumers and information transparency differs in offline and online channels but in omnichannel retail environment customer should be able to find all relevant information regardless of the channel.
As online channels become more prominent due to high-speed mobile internetconnec-tivity, offline channels cannot be ignored. Both these channel categories have their pros and cons, at times they even complement each other. These channels are vital for each other’s existence even though they are based on different transactional structures. These differences and their implications are classified on the bases of “information transpar-ency, interactions and cost” and are further discussed in table 1 (Trenz,2015).

# data[].attributes.body
Like Avery et al. (2012), in this article we conduct our examination within a single ﬁrm and provide evidence of both substitution and complementarity. Our primary contribution is to provide quasi-experimental evidence of the existence of a particular mechanism under which marketing communications drive complementarity: a straight billboard effect of offline stores leading to an increase in online sales. By “straight billboard effect,” we mean that the store serves as informative advertising about the existence(rather than the attributes) of the brand. In identifying this particular mechanism, we aim to shed light on a source of the “synergies” claimed by practitioners.

This paragraph in benchmarking article explains the goals of the research clearly from general to specific

# data[].attributes.body
Nowadays, micro-grid is a key enabler of the concept of energy internet. In energy internet, the formation of micro-grids in several geographic locations and operating their application in an efficient, coordinated way can play a significant role. Since the heart of micro-grid is the different distributed energy resources, lack of co-ordination can be the source of different kinds of system disturbances. This is due to the limited generation capacity, weather dependent generation characteristics [1]. On the other hand, well-organized and coordinated operation and control of micro-grids located in the same or different geographical locations can ensure the economic efficiency and energy reliability in energy internet. Different control mechanisms to control microgrids are existing [2], [3]. [2] describes the hierarchical and distributed control of micro-grids, whereas  [3] highlighted centralized control, decentralized control, and distributed control of the micro-grid. Distributed control can also be implemented in a hierarchical way where primary control can be realized using the self-intelligence capability of devices, secondary and tertiary control need to be done using fog and cloud computing mechanisms [4].

# data[].attributes.body
Conventional design and operation for power systems, communication systems, and computing systems are concernseparated considering limited interactions, resulting in less costefficiency and insufficient capability of interoperability [13]. The increasing stringent requirements for real-time applications force a full integration of all the domain systems during the design and operation process. The major challenge on smart grid design and operation arises from the heterogeneity among these systems. The concurrency, which is the intrinsic nature of physical power systems, cannot be fully realised in the abstractions in today's communication and computing systems [14]. However, timing is not included in the semantics of programming languages used in software-based systems, and thus further hidden from higher levels of abstractions. Lack of timing properties in the abstractions may result in failure of abstractions, since the successful execution of a piece of code cannot guarantee to meet the timing deadlines [14]. Therefore, the heterogeneity rooted in CPSs requires multiple layers of abstractions with sufficiently defined interfaces to be created during the design process [15] .
The design and operation of power, communication and computing system is not well suited in terms of interoperable communication and cost eifficiency.

# data[].attributes.body
Smart grids are typical CPSs due to the extensive deployment of advanced technologies and applications that systematically interconnect centralized and distributed controllers, sensors, physical devices, and various stakeholders involved in many processes [4]. The convergence of power systems, communication systems, and computing systems will enable numerous intelligent CPS applications that change the way we interact with both cyber and physical worlds. On the other hand, the heterogeneity among these systems impedes the development of these applications and raises many challenges on CPS design and operation. Therefore, advanced CPS-based methodologies that can fundamentally change the way of designing and operating smart grids must be adopted to handle the challenges introduced by the inherent heterogeneity and concurrency of smart grids. In this paper, we will present an overview of smart grids from a CPS perspective.

This is a good example because it has been started with a topic scentence formulates the whole paragraph within this topic. Every scentences is linked with the previous scentences.

# data[].attributes.body
The significance of peer relations in adolescence cannot be overemphasized.  ”Even though peer relationships become increasingly important and time-consuming during adolescence, the relationships are usually unstable. The best friends, cliques and wider groups change constantly, and they rarely last over an academic year. The majority of adolescents report having a best friend and close friends, and they also belong to cliques and wider groups, but no all adolescents do. Sociometric status studies describe how adolescents can be classified with terms popular, rejected, neglectedd, controversial or average. A rejected status seems to be more stable than other statuses. Bullied victims might be seen as one type, and those adolescents can be bullied by a group of peers. (Brown 2004, 367-371,379.)” (Hartikainen 2019, 8.)

# data[].attributes.body
There are several social determinants that clearly influence the prevalence of child marriage. For example, a low level of education is increasing the risk of being married off early whereas the likelihood of child marriage is decreased among girls with secondary education. (Paul, 2019, 18, 20). Girls’ educational attainment is often restricted due to patriarchal norms (Seth et al., 2018, 394) and because of poverty (Paul, 2019, 18, 20). Overall, there can be seen a widespread education-, wealth-, and residence-based inequalities in South Asia which are concentrated among more disadvantaged groups and causing child marriage (MacQuarrie & Juan, 2019, 9-12).

# data[].attributes.body
”National and international communities are increasingly recognising early marriage (i.e. before the age of 18) as a serious problem in developing countries. Early marriage is not only a violation of human rights but also as a hindrance to national development [1]. Although progress has been made in reducing the prevalence of early marriages, it still remains a pervasive problem in South Asia with females being disproportionately at risk [2]. There is evidence that nearly 50% of all early marriages occur in this region [3]. The prevalence of early marriages in Bangladesh is 64% of all marriages, in India it is 47% and in Nepal 41% [4]. There is empirical evidence from a re- cent study conducted in these countries that there has been a decline in marriages among girls in early adoles- cence (below 14 years), but no improvement in the older adolescent age group of 14–17 years [5]. ” (Mehra et al. 2018, 2.)

# data[].attributes.body
Utilization of byproducts of production will be a key towards circular economy. I read about interesting example of re-usage of production waste. Barilla, a huge pasta producer, uses packages, which are partly made of fibers of bran from their production. Company called Favini produces such packages for Barilla.

# data[].attributes.body
The database that was used for secondary data collection is mainly the finna.fi. Google search engine, which was utilized to acquire less scientific but relevant data for the study. With this method relatively new books were selected from each topic: a business plan, strategy, marketing, launch marketing, experience economy, sustainability in surfing and social theory in surfing. These books offered the main concepts and key theories. Articles that were found relevant to add value to this study were selected. These articles consider internet marketing, direct marketing, a business plan, experience in sport tourism and psychology.

With added sentence:

The secondary data was collected from various sources. The main source was finna.fi. Google search engine, which was utilized to acquire less scientific but relevant data for the study. With this method relatively new books were selected from each topic: a business plan, strategy, marketing, launch marketing, experience economy, sustainability in surfing and social theory in surfing. These books offered the main concepts and key theories. Articles that were found relevant to add value to this study were selected. These articles consider internet marketing, direct marketing, a business plan, experience in sport tourism and psychology.

# data[].attributes.body
Barringer (2015, 102) recommends writing the business plan with extreme empathy for the reader because most of the people reading it are extremely busy, so the plan should be clear, concise and easy to follow. Barrow et al. (2012, xv) point out that the business plan must be the best that can be written, and it must be professionally packaged, because venture capital firms receive several thousand business plans a year. According to Barringer (2015, 101) the business plan should be from 25 to 35 pages, that carefully explains every aspect of a new business venture.

The first sentence of the paragraph introduces the main point for a reader. After that, reader will receive detailed information about writing a business plan.

# data[].attributes.body
SQL Injection is a hacking technique in penetration testing or hacking to gain access to a database by adding malicious codes in the SQL commands via a web page input request which in turn is executed on the backend database.

# data[].attributes.body
This brings us to a central paradox of visualization; we visualize to
make complex problems easier to understand and easier to navigate,
but to do this we must simplify the complexity. It is this process of
reduction and abstraction that often reveals the intent of visualization.

Correction:
Visualization simplifies the understanding of complex problems with its reduction and abstraction processes.

# data[].attributes.body
While clarity, usability and ‘details on demand’ are uncontroversial
standards that are understandably upheld in instrumentalist design
discourse focused on improvement of human–computer and
human–visualization interaction, it is important to situate such aims
in a larger historical discourse to understand the wider potential for
the development of cybersecurity visualization.

Comment: This example was chose because it initially presented the current standard practice and then further highlighted how it could be further developed to help the industry at large.

# data[].attributes.body
Marketing guru Gary Vaynerchuk (2009, 58) says that the most effective way to reach people online is using a video. According to him, it is easier to grab people’s attention since nowadays people read less. Vaynerchuk also says that a good thing in using a video is that, if they see the salesperson or the product in the video, it builds the brand and if done well, builds trust towards the customer.

Antti Leppilampi

# data[].attributes.body
4.3SWOT analysis

The SWOT analyses the internal and external factors that influence on the business. SWOT comes from the words Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. The SWOT analysis can be used for many cases, for example the analysis can be about the whole organization or some specific products. It can be used to analyse competitors, too.

Antti Leppilampi

# data[].attributes.body
The best way to observe what your potential competitors are doing is to become a customer. Buy as much as you can of what they offer. Observing your competition from the inside can teach you an enormous amount about the market: what value the competitor provides, how they attract attention, what they charge, how they close sales, how they make customers happy, how they deal with issues, and what needs they aren't yet serving.

Comment: I liked this example because it opens widely the idea of how to observe potential customers. This is from Josh Kaufman's book - The personal MBA page 47

# data[].attributes.body
The need for corporate diversity strategies arises as businesses are increasingly diversifying within the domestic markets and into a global arena. The importance of building effective relationships across cultural barriers becomes more evident. Salmen & Kan (2006) note that managers can lack the skills to develop these relationships with others whose attitudes and behavior differ significantly from their own. Problems can arise internally, when the expectations of ex-pat. executives do not match those of local staff. Dealing with other individuals and organizations outside the company misunderstandings can undermine delicate negotiations and cause grave offence to potential business partners. Macedo (2003) argues that suspicions and anxieties about diversity should not be dismissed, and people should adopt an adequately subtle account of the virtues on which a healthy liberal democracy depends. Macedo’s (2003) conclusions lead away from embracing the opportunities and benefits in diversity to focusing on the perceived threats.

# data[].attributes.body
Narcissistic characters can affect the hiring and firing of personnel within the organization.

Nowadays client organizations are more open to discuss more about difficulties

like narcissism, because the topic is very “pop” at the moment. On

the other hand the younger generation does not accept any kind of leadership

anymore, they don’t commit to one place and they don’t stay if employees

are not treated well. The consciousness of good leadership has risen. Pertti Rasp advices customers related to narcissistic leadership openly unless the characteristics

are related to any particular individuals. (Rasp. 2013)

# data[].attributes.body
Commonly accepted view is that a certain amount of narcissism is needed

in to be a successful leader and it is necessary demand for getting to the

top. To understand organizational life one has to have information of narcissism.

The phases of it come stingingly out in organizations where narcissistic

leaders can find and their subordinates can lose their true selves.

(Kets de Vries. 2007, 44)

I chose this example as it has a good first sentence to introduce a topic, that will go on for a chapter. This is only the first paragraph, but it gives a clear idea of the topic.

# data[].attributes.body
In customer relationship management, international companies have three advantages comparing to companies operating only locally. Firstly, there is global efficiency. This means that international companies gain cost efficiency and profitability through optimizing their locations in different parts of the business. Second, multi-market flexibility, means multi-national companies are forced to answer to changing market needs quickly. This gives advantage in long-term, as customer relationship management is about understanding the customer, and this fast responding helps the company to be the first to discover something. Third is gaining worldwide learning. An international company does not have too centralized control over operations and are able to innovate and adapt to different market needs.

# data[].attributes.body
We aim to contribute to internal organizational reputation and internal branding research.

We make these contributions, first, by outlining the theoretical

background for the study, second, describing the methodological

approaches we followed in carrying out the research, and third,

presenting the empirical findings. We close our study by discussing

the contributions of our study to literatures on internal reputation

management and discussing some directions for future research.

# data[].attributes.body
Our findings contribute to internal organizational reputation and internal branding research in several ways. First, at the most basic level, we illustrate the significance of reputation management for contemporary organizations by showing how reputation acts as a strong internal organizing principle guiding strategies, practices, and control systems. Second, by identifying coercive reputationcentred HRM practices restricting prohibitive employee voice, we advance understanding of the “people management” aspects of reputation management and the perceived influence of such systems on employees. These aspects are important because the way in which organizations approach the regulation of employee voice through HRM practices could significantly shape employees' willingness to engage in reputation-building behaviour and ultimately act as “corporate ambassadors”. Thus, knowledge about how HRM influences employees’ reputation-building behaviour and communication is crucial for our understanding of the conditions under which employees become brand ambassadors rather than brand saboteurs.

First there is generally explained what this paragraph is about.

# data[].attributes.body
Security Information and Event Management also known as acronym SIEM is according to Petters (2019) software solution that aggregates and analyzes activity from many different resources across your entire IT infrastructure.

SIEM collects security data from network devices, servers, domain controllers, and more. SIEM stores, normalizes, aggregates, and applies analytics to that data to discover trends, detect threats, and enable organizations to investigate any alerts. (Petters 2019.)

# data[].attributes.body
After MIN and pESN are obtained, they are written to the target clone device which now can perform calls and send SMS on behalf of the cloned phone. The same team has developed an Android application that runs on Verizon Android
smartphones to detect if they are connected to a femtocell and it automatically switches the device into airplane mode. (DePerry et. al. 2013.)

Comment: There was something missing from this paragraph that would have made it consistent.

# data[].attributes.body
Research aims at solving problems related to the studied matter by asking questions and finding answers to them. The object of each research is a phenomenon in the real world and can be examined from different angles. In the academic world, concepts can be defined and analyzed from different
perspectives depending on the field of studies of the student. After choosing a research problem, the research questions are formulated, and the research results lead to a solution of the problem. (Kananen 2011.)

Comment: Paragraph begins with a good sentence and continues on the same subject, telling everything that is relevant.

# data[].attributes.body
In order to build trust in relationships, it is important to embrace good communication. Trust and good communication can be achieved e.g. through asking instead of telling – especially leaders need to understand the value of being humble when building work relationships. (Schein 2013, 5-6.)

# data[].attributes.body
Besides, when examining these critical factors it strikes that they occur at different levels. Following Jensen et al.'s [9] definition these are: the macro-level (level of the organizational field), the micro-level (level of the organization) and the individual level (level of an individual, e.g. user of the technology). In total we have found nine out of those 33 papers which explicitly mention critical factors on at least two of those levels.

Correction: When examining the critical factors of telehealth implementation, it strikes that they occur in different levels.  Following Jensen et al.'s [9] definition these are: the macro-level (level of the organizational field), the micro-level (level of the organization) and the individual level (level of an individual, e.g. user of the technology). In total we have found nine out of those 33 papers which explicitly mention critical factors on at least two of those levels.

# data[].attributes.body
Germany offers a national healthcare system, wherein every citizen of the state is either statutorily or privately insured. Approximately 70 of the 82 million German citizens have a statutory health insurance plan with one of 132 health insurance companies.

Comment: This paragraph begins with general description and continues with more detailed information.

# data[].attributes.body
Original: “Although it was suspected that there might have been research on how security operation centers manage cyber threat intelligence (knowledge management), how they solve cyber security incidents in distributed teams (process, human or people management) or how situation awareness is organized (processes and tools). The only conclusion is that if that kind of research is carried out, it contains only such business-critical information, which cannot be published.”

Correction: Although it was suspected that there might have been research on how security operation centers manage cyber threat intelligence ( i.e. knowledge management), how they solve cyber security incidents in distributed teams (e.g. process, human or people management) or how situation awareness is organized (processes and tools), we could not find many openly available publications . Therefore, the only conclusion is that if this kind of research is carried out, it contains such business-critical information and therefore cannot be published.

# data[].attributes.body
Another interesting research found was a Ph.D. Thesis by Sørensen (2012). It was an experimental study where the shared situation awareness was compared to distributed situation awareness of command and control teams. The aim was to identify how different organization structures affects communication, situation awareness and performance of the organization. In the context of cyber security exercise, Sørensen’s thesis could be used to create different kinds of organization and team setups for the exercises.

Comment: This paragraph continues the content of previous one when bringing out the research done related to subject.

# data[].attributes.body
Already in the 1990s, American doctor Edward M. Hallowell recognized ADT and described people who had been living too busy for too long, doing many things at once, not taking breaks, jumping from one job to another, neglecting to sleep, and creating these behaviours, where the brain no longer functions normally (Koho, 2018). He states that ADT springs from the environment demanding our time and attention and is an artefact of modern life. When human mind fills with constant noise and events, the brain will lose its capacity to attend fully and thoroughly to anything (Hallowell, 2004).

# data[].attributes.body
The selection of τ is a key issue. Assume that all the state variables are mutually independent and the meter errors follow the normal distribution. It can be mathematically shown that  z − Hxˆ  2, denoted L(x), follows a χ2(v)-distribution, where v = m− n is the degree of freedom. According to Wood and Wollenberg [1996], τ can be determined through a hypothesis test with a significance level α. In other words, the probability that L(x) ≥ τ 2 is equal to α. Thus, L(x) ≥ τ 2 indicates the presence of bad measurements, with the probability of a false alarm being α.

# data[].attributes.body
Resilience means that a system or infrastructure is able to adapt to changing conditions. In the case of information security, resilience is based on integrating two parallel subtasks: (1) run-time situation awareness and (2) a priori risk analysis. On the other hand, resilience itself is a twofold topic: (1) the system has to be robust against attacks, i.e., the attack is prevented in its first phase, and (2) the system has to be able to return to a safe state after the attack. Healing requires that utilized data and system operation can be restored as soon as possible. Therefore, healing processes have to be trained and tested.

# data[].attributes.body
Studying and analyzing our individual characteristics, qualities, inclinations, strengths, and weaknesses are an important part of future personal progress. We are social creatures, and a deeper understanding of who we (and others) are can provide a valuable tool for understanding, pleasing, cajoling, reprimanding, rewarding, and loving others. (Cooper, B. No date). Knowing yourself, you can better understand others and the world around you.

# data[].attributes.body
It is not all about who is selling the better product anymore, now it is more about companies that are able to serve the needs of their customers in a better way. “Rolls-Royce no longer sells jet engines; it sells the hours that each engine is actually thrusting an airplane through the sky” (Economist 2012). However, a common language is the key to sharing information and enabling the companies to adopt a customer-centric approach when serv- ing their customers.

My changes:

I would be rephrasing the first sentence of the paragraph with -

The ability to understand the clients and their needs, to provide better service, is more important today than the quality of the product or service itself.

Or

Add at the beginning of the paragraph –

An important change in values has occurred.

# data[].attributes.body
According to the empirical study by (Shneor 2011), there are three main types of online promotions: Push (e.g. commissions and discounts), Pull (e.g. Search Engine Marketing), and Viral/Community efforts (e.g. managing Brand Fan Community on social media). This study showed that the ”Pull” type of promotions has the highest importance level in comparison with other types, and most often it is associated with search engine optimization (SEO) and search engine marketing (SEM), and that could be linked with the nature of online shoppers where they tend to be more powerful and demanding in their shopping process, “as they get the control of the situation and actively “pull” the information they need rather than waiting for marketers to “push” it” (Sahar Karimi 2013). Arguably, marketers are focusing more on the SEO because it is considered as a cost-efficient In- bound-marketing tool.

My comment:

At the first sentences of paragraph we can see the main statement (general) and following sentences show the specific information and all of them connected with the main first statement and expand it.

# data[].attributes.body
In recent years, as the number of IoT devices exploded, standardisation issues are rising up. Different regulatory parties and lack of deep understanding of modern technologies are creating uncertainty on procedures that are controlled by different regulatory parties. In the case of IoT and cloud computing in healthcare, the complexity becomes more challenging due to the stringent regulations and medical standards. As a result, it is necessary that IoT devices manufacturers and different regulatory parties have to establish standard policies and rules to guarantee the standardisation.

# data[].attributes.body
IoT and cloud computing have been integrated into the healthcare which leads to changes in
many aspects of the health industry. For instance, connected medical devices let the senior safely take
care of themselves and reduce the burden for nursing homes. Moreover, IoT and cloud computing
connect health professionals and specialists all over the world, and they can observe and consult
patients remotely. Nevertheless, there are also several challenges that need to be addressed to integrate
IoT and cloud computing in healthcare completely.

Here we have an idea that can be implement as a practical measure but not a protocol nor a procedure.

# data[].attributes.body
The IoT in healthcare framework When it comes to the implementation of a new IoT and cloud computing healthcare-based system, the first thing is to list all associated activities and use-case in the system. Because each disease requires complicated treatment procedures which involve various healthcare activities mostly based on health care provider’s viewpoint. The introduction of associated activities and use-case have been mentioned in the context of the remote monitoring system (Yang. Z, 2016) smart healthcare service, and IoTHeF topology for pervasive patient health monitoring system based on cloud computing.

This abstract explains the correct IoT Healthcare framework which has to be taken under consideration all time.

# data[].attributes.body
Implementing networking solutions to areas that have a specific restrictions, brings up the benefits of 5G networks. The fifth generation (5G) networking solutions gives a huge possibilities, when designing the networking in areas that have had problems with earlier networking standards, like 4G or WiMaX. The possibility to connect multiple devices and still maintain a good download and upload speeds revolutionize the whole networking concept.

# data[].attributes.headline
2) Added a suitable topic sentence "The lack of security in IoT devices make the 5G more vulnerable to cyber attacks". / Sami Takanen

# data[].attributes.subject
2) Added a suitable topic sentence "The lack of security in IoT devices make the 5G more vulnerable to cyber attacks". / Sami Takanen

# data[].attributes.body
The basic question is why the intellectual data generated by IoT devicesor IoT assets needs to be protected. One reason isto protect one’sown intellectual property against other competitors. Also, the own data and environment need to be protected because that is a way ofpreventing others to compromise one’sown environmentand use it for malicious purposes. One important reason for security is the overall security, i.e. the internet comprises interconnected systems and any of its vulnerable partsmay be used to harm the other parts of the internet. Therefore, it is extremely important to protect one’s own intellectual properties. (Sagedhi 2017.)

# data[].attributes.body
IoT devices can be divided intoconsumer-based devices such asdomestic appliances and home automations, and appliances for industrial use such asdifferent kindsof sensorsfor measuring temperature, humidity and movement. Typical domestic appliances are e.g.surveillance cameras, network switches, routersand Network Attached Storages (NAS), fridges, smart televisions and cars. For home automation, i.e. smart homes, typical appliances are e.g. heating and ventilation systems, lighting control systems and different sensors for monitoring humidity and CO2 levels inside a house or buildings. (Internet ofThings 2018.)

This is a good example, where the first sentence tells the whole idea of the paragraph.

# data[].attributes.body
Companies face three major social risks in the supply chain. The first is geographic risk which means that the countries have different risk profiles. The second is the raw materials. Sometimes the source of raw materials can be unknown and labor conditions may not be decent. The last is the supplier chose. By selecting responsible suppliers, many of the previously mentioned risks can be avoided.  All these three have to be considered in the risk management plan even if they are not in the company’s core function.

# data[].attributes.body
Based on previously presented results, Sustainability, like nothing else, is not a free lunch when it comes to returns.

- 1 sentence paragraph: it should have been included in the previous paragraph as a summary of the results.

# data[].attributes.body
Theoretically, the stock performance effect of SRI is ambivalent. The following three hypotheses are discussed (e.g. Hamilton et al., 1993, Bauer et al. 2005): First, if SRI increases the value of socially responsible firms by decreasing the expected returns and the cost of capital of these firms, SRI portfolios deliver lower stock returns than conventional portfolios. The second hypothesis is that the stock returns of SRI portfolios are higher than those of their conventional counterparts if SRI characteristics are not correctly priced by stock markets. Finally, the third hypothesis is that SRI is neither penalized nor rewarded by stock markets if corporate sustainability performance or corporate social responsibility (CSR), referring to corresponding corporate environmental, social, and ethical activities, is not priced. This argument represents the common finance view with SRI not influencing the cost of capital of socially responsible firms. Against this background, the question whether SRI leads to higher or lower stock returns can only be examined empirically.

This paragraph is a good example because it starts with the controlling idea. After that the writer has reached a flow by pointing out a clear order (first, second, last). Finally the paragraph has been completed so that it summaries the idea of the whole paragraph into one sentence.

# data[].attributes.body
An environment in prehospital care is dynamic and challenging in many ways. That is why there is a significant risk of errors. Safety at work might sometimes become endangered in the work tasks because situations and scenes are unpredictable, and a threat of violence might be actual. A patient and bystanders can create distractions or disturb the execution of care in many ways. A paramedic has to make decisions in minutes sometimes even in seconds in unexpected and uncertain environments. At work, paramedics should be vigilant all the time so that errors are not directed to the patients and working team. (Patterson et al. 2012.)

# data[].attributes.body
Physical injuries and violence are quite common among healthcare employees in their workplaces. According to the World Health Organization WHO (2019), almost 40 percent of healthcare employees have suffered from at least one physical injury in their workplaces during their career. This data does not always include all of the amount of the unnecessary acts of verbal aggression and threats that an employee may experience. Workplace violence is a major risk in the health- and social service area, leading to unnecessary harm and discomfort to the health care personnel (Gates, Gillespie & Succop 2011, 59; Lyly-Yrjänäinen 2018, 94). In Finland, 140 000 violent accident appears on a yearly basis in workplaces, resulting in at least to the loss of two lives (The Centre for Occupational Safety 2009, 3).

# data[].attributes.body
There can be numerous of reasons for aggressive behavior although some patterns can be seen. Aggression can be explained with biology and its combination with the upbringing of a child. Unbalanced levels of cortisol and testosterone can raise aggressiveness. Surroundings matter in childhood. An unstable environment that an individual has encountered, can have long term affects. Some people are more tempered than others. (Rantaeskola et. al. 2015, 9, 17-22; Weizmann-Henelius 1997, 17-18.)

This paragraph starts with a good first sentence. It is general and then the following sentences define the aggressive behaviour.'

# data[].attributes.body
Environment analysis is a strategic tool, which aims to help companies to identify the external and internal elements, which can have an impact in their business. Companies have multiple choices how they do their environment analysis. We chose to use PESTLE analysis because it is a large tool and gives us a good overall look of business environment. PESTLE analysis consists of various factors that affect the business environment. PESTLE focuses on political, economic, social, technological, legal and environmental factor.

# data[].attributes.body
"There are various other issues which also facing by  today business organization and which are

surprising  and uncertain  issues,  may  includes  the  organization  environment,  the  ethical  and

ecological  challenges,  globalization,  economic  and  political  instabilities,  employers  and

employees  issues,  the  technological  innovations  ,  in  which  the  modern  business  operates."

Topic sentence:
There are various other issues that also causes problems in business organizations.

# data[].attributes.body
"The research question is how to create quality customer service online. The aim of the research is to find out the elements that make the online service quality service and how the quality service influences the customer satisfaction and engagement. With the research Kela wanted also to find out whether the customers would prefer online services in information and advice seeking over other customer service channels like phone service or service face-to-face at the office. "

Good example because:
Clear important information at the start of the paragraph.

# data[].attributes.body
When attack has been established the server give scores to connection based on profile activity. Server takes resource from those connections who have lower points. Server drop connection based on profile activity and current overload.

# data[].attributes.body
GDPR defines rules for the law in the EU. The new regulation aimsto make stronger rules on data protection in the whole EU by giving the citizens more control over their personal data and to balance the business playing field.
GDPR defines rules for the law in the EU. The new regulation aimsto make stronger rules on data protection in the whole EU by giving the citizens more control over their personal data and to balance the business playing field.
GDPR defines rules for the law in the EU. The new regulation aimsto make stronger rules on data protection in the whole EU by giving the citizens more control over their personal data and to balance the business playing field.

# data[].attributes.body
LDDoS attacks are quite different from the traditional flooding-based DDoS attacks as they exploit the vulnerabilities in TCP’s congestion control mechanism. Instead of sending continuous network traffic, an LDDoS attacker sends periodically pulsing data flows, which may dramatically
reduce the average rate of attack flows.

It describe main topic clearly and describe which things are different for basic DDoS attacks.

# data[].attributes.body
Google Analytics is a tool, which is used to collect data about the visitors who enter the company´s online store. The main goal is to know the amount of visits in the website, and also collect data from the sites that the customer visited before. This data is collected for emproving the customer experience in the online store and also make it more customer friendly to use.

# data[].attributes.body
Added topic sentence: Brand equity is based on assets and liabilities, which add value for the company and customers.

This is the commercial value of all associations and expectations (positive and negative) that people have of an organization and it products and services due to all experiences of, communications with, and perceptions of the brand over time. This value can be measured in several ways: as the economic value of the brand asset itself, the price premium that the brand commands, the long-term consumer (customer) loyalty the brand evokes, or the market share gains its results in.  (VanAuken 2002, 17.)

# data[].attributes.body
Currently it is very difficult to do business successfully in tight competition without a proper brand strategy. A carefully planned comprehensive brand strategy gives ground to the companies in their pursuit to operate successfully in their markets. A thorough brand strategy with all its contents aims to a greater brand recognition, and from customer´s perspective creates assets that in a positive sense differentiate the brand from other companies and their brands.

The topic sentence is visible in the beginning. All the other sentences are related to the start and is easy to understand the content.

# data[].attributes.body
To reach the goal of being a customer-led organization, service design offers organizations a practical approach to understanding customer experiences. As a continuum, service design methods enable the development of customer journeys that ensure better services and service experiences to the customers.

# data[].attributes.body
Addition: In order to understand the topic in full, it is important to understand the background of the customer base.
The organization’s clients come from a broad spectrum, including retail, food, medical, technology,construction and chemistrycompanies.Geographically, most projects are implementedin Finland. Mainly in Helsinki, but also in Tampere, Turku, Jyväskylä and Ouluand other areas. On a yearly basisa few projects alsotake place abroad all-aroundEurope.

# data[].attributes.body
While pop up shops, however defined, are currently a minor, and in many ways a novel element in the overall retail mix, great claims have been made for the fundamental importanceoftheconcept. Onthesupplyside,Barras(2016,p.ix),forexample,argued “Pop Ups are changing how artisans make money: how commercial property owners are leasing their spaces; how big brands are launching new products; how celebrities are promoting themselves; and how e-tailers are marketing the merchandise they sell online”. At the same time, on the demand side, “consumers are now favoring locally made products, both for environmental reasons and because of  desire to know more about the merchandise they buy – where, how and by whom a product was made. They want an antidote to the homogenization of choices that are offered by chain stores and chain restaurants and while e-commerce offers convenience it does that by eliminating the shopping experience that many shoppers feel is just an integral to the buying process as the items that are for sale” (Barras, 2016, pp. ix-x).

In this chapter, the story line is clear and develops logically from the claim that pop ups are an important concept to the reasons why it is so.

# data[].attributes.body
3) Customers are contacting the customer service for several different reasons, as revealed by the study. Most common reason for contacting was creating a new sales order. Second reason for contacting was the alteration of existing order and the third most common reasons was to inquire for exact delivery time.

# data[].attributes.body
2) I benchmarked thesis “Developing a Framework for the Implementation and Development of a Digital Customer interface for the Case Company X” and the topic sentences were there. I found one weird sentence to be corrected though as it does not seem to flow very well:

Original text:
At the same time, these possible developments, however, were also seen as a potential threat. There was a definite fear that automation would transform sales personnel jobs consisting of mere pricing and answering enquiries. This was regarded as removing much of the prestige currently associated with a sales job.

My alteration:

At the same time the possible developments were seen as a potential threat. There was a definite fear that automation would transform sales personnel jobs consisting of mere pricing and answering enquiries. This was regarded as removing much of the prestige currently associated with a sales job.

(Reasoning: using “at the same time”, ”however” and “also” at the same time feels slightly excessive in relation to previous paragraph)

# data[].attributes.body
1a) The fundamental tenet in the service-dominant logic is that companies do not produce value as such. They can only offer value propositions, which are then turned into value by customers. Value, in turn, is perceived and determined by a customer and created through use. Goods as such should be only regarded as “transmitters of operant resources” (Vargo & Lusch 2004, 7).

1b) The paragraph describes value and the elements of it. The sentence opens by describing the concept and is followed by description of what value is and what it is not.

# data[].attributes.body
There is no doubt that the social media makes a significant
contribution to society. Firstly, thanks to the birth of modern technology, messages of green protection are widespread all over the world. Take Michael Jackson as an example: he advanced his fame to appeal for planet protection. He made a song, Earth Song, to send a warning message about the Earth’s destruction. Secondly, social media helps everyone from miles away communicate with each other more easily and faster. If everyone uses the modern technology wisely, this world will seem like a little blue dot when they all easily connect to the devices and share their passion with other people. Finally, people also reap benefits of social media,
as businessmen can interact with many customers and earn more money on the social networking sites.

# data[].attributes.body
Piracy is not as bad as people think. Digital artist Iggy Rouvinen told following about piracy, “The piracy is out there, regular and recognisable. It is a waste of time and effort to get too upset about it. Piracy does not decrease my income because most of my customers are honest, and I believe that piracy brings some recognition too. Rouvinen also took a stand on free sharing of a work, “I share free content for my audience on regular bases. It is good for the business. Sometimes I put out the campaign of the art kits for the price of a coffee cup, lunch or customers may decide themselves on the price. These moves have brought positive feedback and visibility, and many are delighted of the humour aspect of the campaigns – Buy a Coffee for an Artist, get an Art kit free!” (Rouvinen, personal communication on 29.9.2018.)

# data[].attributes.headline
A good general-to-specific structure / Vy Nguyen

# data[].attributes.subject
A good general-to-specific structure / Vy Nguyen

# data[].attributes.body
There are four major variables in the segmentation process for consumer markets. The first is a geographic variable that tells where and in what kind of surroundings customers live. The company may decide that it targets the customer focus locally even though it operates nationally, and vice versa. The second demographic variable gives factors like customer`s gender, age, income, and education. The third, psychographic variable describes a customer`s lifestyle and social class and the fourth behavioral variable divides customers into segments based on their knowledge, attitudes, and responses of the product. The demographic variable is mostly used in segmentation because it brings needs and wants and it is easier to measure than other variables, but many marketers believe that behavioral variables create the best base for segmentation. (Kotler & Amstrong 2016, 224 – 228.)

=> This is a good example since it explains obviously the main topic sentence, and demonstrates the writer's opinion. The way he used commas efficiently, either.

# data[].attributes.body
The general rules for using BIM in regional design are described in bridge site classification (Liikennevirasto 2013). Of course, the client can make exceptions within the project regarding the use of BIM. It’s still quite essential to have guidance on how all the different actors inside the project need to act, if it’s not agreed otherwise.

# data[].attributes.body
EurObserv’Er (2015, 126-131) estimates that the European renewable energy source sector had a turnover of €143,6 billion and employed 1,11 million persons in 2014. The biogas sector’s share was estimated at € 6,1 million with 66 200 persons employed.

Topic sentence: Renewable energy sector is a large industry in Europe, the biogas sector's share is yet quite small.

# data[].attributes.body
The biogas plant receives wastewater sludge from the wastewater treatment plant and biowaste collected from the nearby community and industries. The re-ceived waste is pretreated and after that fermented in a bioreactor. An anaerobic digestion process in the bioreactor degrades the organic material and biogas is produced. The produced biogas consists 65-75% of methane and 25-35% of car-bon dioxide.

The paragraph is formed well: there is generalization in the first sentence and more specific information following. Second sentence is also started with known information from the first sentence.

# data[].attributes.body
Marketing consists of different processes where communication is one of the most important element. The potential customer should be convinced by the means of communication about the quality and competitiveness of the service compared to alternative solutions. (Tikkanen et al 20017, 43.) Communication today is challenging because everyone is surrounded by the endless flow of messages via different channels 24/7. The ability to receive and interpret single marketing messages is limited. (Tikkanen et al 2007, 46.) With the right kind of communication and content, you can guide the consumer step-by-step to the buying decision. This requires knowledge; you have to know exactly what are the customer’s needs, challenges and problems. When your product/service is the best solution to a customer’s problem, you win. (Kananen 2018, 36.)

# data[].attributes.body
As digitalization heavily affects society, it is safe to say that the effects of digitalization have to be taken into consideration in all of the elements that are included in external environment analyses. Digitalization also gives tools for creating new kinds of customer experience and mining huge amounts of data about customers’ behaviour and competitors’ actions.

Topic sentence (definition of digitalization):
Digitalization is the integration of digital technologies into everyday life by the digitization of everything that can be digitized.

# data[].attributes.body
Paul Gibbs and Felix Maringe are both marketing authors with a university background who are specialized in higher education marketing. They have developed their own marketing strategy model especially for HEIs. It is called the CORD model, which should, according to Gibbs and Maringe (2008, p. 49), raise the profile, sharpen the strategic focus and develop the marketing of the HEI.

I think this is good example when introducing new theory/literature used in thesis; authors are shortly introduced and after that what they have created.

# data[].attributes.body
Many investors are focusing their assets in Nordic sustainable energy. Nordic countries lead the development in sustainable energy, mainly because energy consumption per capita is the highest in the world. That is a consequence of an energy intensive industry and cold climate. Nordic nations are also one of the world’s most sustainability-conscious populations, therefore investors know their assets are in accomplished hands.

# data[].attributes.body
When leading a multicultural organization, the leading style should be chosen carefully. Mäkilouko (2003) believed that the polycentric leadership style (Figure 7.) is the most effective multicultural leadership strategy. The term polycentrism is used widely in international business management. Polycentrism-oriented businesses adopt belief that every country is unique and needs a different approach (Wright 2014). In the cultural context, Mäkilouko (2003) defined polycentrism as the way that leaders treat cultures with respect and try to preserve them as they are. Leaders should try to learn about different cultures and adjust their styles accordingly. According to Mäkilouko (2003), this strategy works effectively when team members are located in various countries. The leaders in these teams usually work as integrators between cultures. However, polycentrism is seen to be a difficult strategy to apply. It requires a high level of experience in leadership with multicultural teams.

# data[].attributes.body
a)       In a team that includes culturally diverse members, the biggest challenge seems to arise from the cross-culture integration. Different languages and culturally different perspectives can make the interaction hard to interpret and respond. Thus, a skilled multicultural leader must obtain cross-cultural communication competence to address any performance challenges (Congden 2009, 74). A high level of cross-cultural communication is required to successfully obtain information from a colleague from different cultural background. Previous literatures have found out several characteristics of cross-cultural communication competence. They are relationship skills, communication skills and personal traits such as inquisitiveness.

b)      The first sentence tells describes the general assertion of the paragraph. The following sentences specify the topic sentence.

# data[].attributes.body
3)
The idea of Activity Based Costing (ABC) as a system of costing was first proposed by Professors Johnson and Kaplan (1987) and made popular by Cooper and Kaplan (1988). Their attention was focused on manufacturing and services industry. Activity-based costing (ABC) is an accounting method that identifies and assigns costs to overhead activities and then assigns those costs to products or service. An activity-based costing (ABC) system recognizes the relationship between costs, overhead activities, and manufactured products or produced services, and, through this relationship, it assigns indirect costs to products or services less arbitrarily than traditional methods.

# data[].attributes.body
2)
The concept of services has changed in last years. It may be difficult to define what service is although every one of us is dealing with services all the time. Service is for example visiting a doctor or using internet connection or getting education. There are many theories about what is service and I will present the ones I found important and reasonable.

This paragraph does not discuss the change in the concept of services. I would use: The concept of service is understood in a variety of ways.

# data[].attributes.body
Trust is one of the major challenges virtual teams face. The development of trust and

trustworthiness has been deemed essential to collaborative work (Mayer et al., 1995). However, physical distribution, changing team members, cultural differences and lack of prior history (Lipnack and Stamps, 2000) can lead to severe difficulties in establishing
effective trusting relationships. In particular, trust is regarded as an essential ingredient for

cooperation (Hwang and Burgers, 1997). When engaging in a trusting relationship, parties are more willing to overlook the risk of being taken advantage of and act for collective gain. According to Hwang and Burgers (1997), a trustworthy partner in a relationship will facilitate cooperation by reducing the risk of being exploited and decreasing opportunistic

behaviours. Empirical research confirms that mutual trust and trustworthiness among participants is one of the prerequisites for collaboration to occur in a team. It has positive

impact on the effectiveness of virtual teams (Hakonen and Lipponen, 2009) and a significant

impact on the GVT’s performance (Henttonen and Blomqvist, 2005). However, the level of trust on a GVT’s performance varies based on the conditions within the team. Furthermore, trust development relies on the cultural backgrounds of the members (Yusof and Zakaria, 2012). Dulewicz (2013) describes research culminating in the design of a scale to measure

trustworthiness which has been used in several studies of individuals (Van Den Assem and

Dulewicz, 2014, 2015). He advocates the use of different item sets for measuring relationships with different trustees.

1 b)
This paragraph has a general opening “Trust is one of the major challenges virtual teams face”. Then the writers move to more detailed information regarding different aspects of trust in teams.

# data[].attributes.body
3) Market Review

a.    Trends overview

That is a fact that Finnish economy has suffered before 2014 due to a shrinking PPP and Export problems to Russia hasn’t helped too, but for sure there are always some companies who put efforts on exporting and those markets won’t go anywhere. This case study confirms the importance of prober market analyses and preparations to put plans to action.

It is just tougher to reach sales what are expected but with right tools, they are reachable. New PPP figures shows rapid increase, so business climate has changed for now.

# data[].attributes.body
2) Construct Validity

The first test is challenging especially for case studies. It is often pointed out that a case study investigator fails to develop a sufficiently operational set of measures and that subjective judgements are used to collect the data. A reader cannot tell whether claimed changes that operational events constitute reflect the events or whether they happen to be based on an investigator’s impressions only. To meet the test to construct validity, an investigator must be sure to cover two steps: first to define the change in terms of specific concepts and second to identify operational measures that match the concept. (Yin 2009, 41-42.).

Topic sentence: Construct validity is used to determine how well a test measures what it is supposed to measure

# data[].attributes.body
In an in-depth interview the key respondents can be asked about the facts of a matter as well as their opinions about the events. In some situations, the interviewee can be asked to propose her or his own insights into certain occurrences that can be used a basis for further inquiry. (Yin 2009, 107.). On the other hand, additional questions may be required to explore the research question and objectives given the nature of events within particular organizations (Saunders, Lewis & Thornhill 2009, 320). The more the respondent assists in this way, the more her or his role becomes an informant rather than a respondent. Key informants can very often be critical to the success of a case study. Such persons provide the case study investigator with insights into a matter and can also initiate access to corroboratory or contrary sources of evidence. (Yin 2009, 107.).

First sentence is a good topic sentence. The paragraph consists a several sources, which are explained in good manner.

# data[].attributes.body
Differences between traditional - and e-learning

Understanding differences between traditional learning and mobile learning is important when developing context in the new e-learning package. With this knowledge, there are possibilities to focus to grate interesting and as user-friendly training for life-saving equipment. This knowledge helps also
decreasing start point when customer takes e-learning to use with life-saving product.

# data[].attributes.body
We calculated cluster sample size with a method that takes
into account the intra-cluster correlation coefficient (ICC),
the expected effect, and the power of the study. Based on the
previous QCPR data, we calculated an ICC (ρ) of 0.03, and
with a power of 80% at 5% significance level to detect a difference of 18% in total CPR scores, the required sample size
would be 864 per each randomization group.

# data[].attributes.body
In the effective learning role of learners plays big role. Effective learners are both active and strategic. They are also skilled in co-operation and they set goals for their learning. It is typically that in the effective learning, learners un-derstand their own knowledge and they are motivated for learning.

The paragraph starts with a idea of text in the beginning and details followed nearby.