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"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown up we would no longer be vulnerable.  But to grow up is to accept vulnerability.  To be alive is to be vulnerable.

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“The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.”

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"Let your face speak what is in your heart." - Toni Morrison
I always want my kids (and my students)to know that first and foremost, I am so happy to see them. (p.223)

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"We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary." (p. 125)

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Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.  (pg. 45)

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Bob
Going it alone is a value we hold in high esteem in our culture, ironically even when it comes to cultivating connection.  I get that appeal; I have that rugged individualism in my DNA.  In fact, one of my very favorite break-up-kick-*ss-no-one-can-hurt-me songs is Whitesnake's "Here I go Again..."  In reality, walking alone can feel miserable and depressing, but we admire the strength it conveys, and going it alone is revered in our culture.  The vulnerability journey is not the kind of journey we can make alone.  We need support.  We need a hand to pull us up off the ground when we get kicked down in the arena...  (p. 58)

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Naturally I cannot seem to locate the quote, but she mentions something about memories.  Our minds completely reshape our memories, and we view these events in a completely different way than how they really happened.

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"'What will people think?' to 'I am enough.'  That journey begins with the shame resilience, self-compassion, and owning our stories.  To claim the truths about who we are, where we come from, and what we believe, and the very imperfect nature of our lives, we have to be willing to give ourselves a break and appreciate the beauty of our cracks or imperfections."

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"We live in a culture of disparity."

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If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive. Self-compassion is also critically important...Self compassion is key because when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy. (p. 75)

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"When you shut down vulnerability, you shut down opportunity."

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...in order for my talk
to work, I'd have to give up trying to do it like everyone else and I'd have to connect with my audience.

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Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.

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If we are always following our children into the arena, hushing the critics, and assuring their victory, they'll never learn that they have the ability to dare greatly on their own.

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Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking for support.

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There is no such thing as a a$$hole whisperer

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There is no such thing as a a$$hole whisperer

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There is not such thing as an a$$hole whisperer.

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In other words, if we want our children to love and accept who they are, our job is to love and accept who we are. p.219

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What we know matters but who we are matters more.

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Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Don't let it become fear and anxiety as that can lead you to make bad choices.